We can't make it work unless we agree that we will disagree from time to time!

A man browses around a bookstore for half an hour before going up to a clerk."Excuse me," he says. "I'm looking for a book called 'The Perfect Marriage.'"
The clerk respond, "Have you looked in the fiction section?" 
It does not have to be fiction If you recognize "the stage" you are currently in and focus on getting through it, which might get you ready to tackle the next stage, and the multiple acts in each subsequent stage. The following gives a glimpse into each stage using a little fiction...... 


the Intro stage: Let's meet and learn how to communicate. 

Here is where most of us start our relationships. Young people using  the gift of communication to say the right things. Putting in the work on  making a connection. Finding each other in the crowd. Seeing  the pretty face and great body, but not really caring about what come after you hookup and commit to a life time of compromises, sacrifices and patience..This is what  no one tells you.  No one prepares you for all these various stages of adjustments.

This is your first stage, act 1.  She needs to trust your decision making ability.
She says to him "I think we're lost, we better pull over and ask directions." 

The male response: "Are you kidding me, ask directions in this area of town? This is where we will make the headline news. With these headlines"  - 'Couple found killed at the side of the road. Possible Carjacking.... Woman raped and man killed for asking directions from the Carjackers'. 

Stage two, act 2: she Loves the way you spoil her.
"Honey, Can you help me? Where are you? Why is it that you are nowhere to be found when I'm cooking dinner?"

"Baby your meals are so good I will only spoil it if I'm helping. This is Why you are my Chef and I get to enjoy the best meals with you. My girls are green with envy. I bet you when you tell your boys how you spoil me they make smart remarks." -   "No. I'm always slicing unions when they come over so I make them cry as they walk through the door. They like my cooking too so they will not spoil it by calling me hen pecked." 


Stage three, act 3: the Kids are killing the spontaneous moments.

"Sometimes I just want to be held." 

His response: "Men need to be held too, we sometimes need comfort and re-assurance!"
Her response:"Yes, but what is your real motive here. Let's wait till the kids are asleep." His motive: "But then I will be into the basketball game, and if  the game goes into over time then you will be asleep.
The kids are playing they will not even miss us. Unless you start singing the Hallelujah chorus again." 
     

Get ready for the Trouble ahead

Stage Four, act 4. I didn't remember, because I forgot! 

"Why are you not seeing that I'm sorry.   I knew that today had meaning but I just forgot what it meant to you.  The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything, sometimes we just forget who we did it with. Can I get off the hook by claiming Amnesia?"

"NO, You forgot our anniversary, the place we met, my favorite color, My favorite restaurant, My mother's name, Our special song...... Your Amnesia argument is Preposterous!"

Stage five, act 5: Stretching the pay checks.

Balancing the Budget together is a tough task, here is where couples really test their stress levels!

"Why did you spend good money for that?" These are moment when the following is easier said than done. "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be. (RED)



Stage six, act 6: It's cheaper to keep her.

Staying together during tough economic times.

Couples who may have previously given up on their relationship are working harder to stay together because it cost too much to split up and start all over as singles. The cost of separating and living in two homes is an expensive option, so they find ways to stay together. This is Not necessarily a BAD thing! Compromise is needed, consideration is needed, having faith is  needed and commitment is absolutely needed. The reality of the situation allows you to truly understand what "for richer or for poorer" really means.

Here comes those moments where no one will give an inch no matter what!

Stage seven, act 7: I'm not willing to give up the remote control.
"Who cares about Monday Night Football, let's watch Opera."

"It's the Monday night game between two undefeated teams. Opera will tell you, you don't need a man, you can build a Billion dollar company just by losing and gaining weight from one season to the next."
Having different interest can mean spending quality time doing things  separately. Different rooms, never interested in the same things. Not willing to even make an exception, not even once. "You knew what I liked when you met me. If you wanted me to be different then you should have made a different choice!" - " Well You weren't my first choice"  




Stage eight, act 8: Do your own thing...... but leave the past in the past..
"While you are up, can I get me a drink?" No Response to the question. 

"You are always on that Facebook why can't you give it a rest. You will never find that teenage heart-throb you had a crush on. He is probably old, grey, with a beer belly. Do You think he even  remembers you.  And.... if he does what would you tell him? That you never could get over that first kiss. Wait a minute you told me I was your first. Is there something.....  you forgot to tell me?" (Here again you are struck by the reality that you weren't the first choice)

  

Re-connecting made simple!

Stage nine, act 9: Re-connect and enjoy the sunsets.

We can make it last if we try, and try and try to adjust to change.

We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them. Who ever said you can't build on sand didn't understand that Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. 
There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces. The road you chose to travel need not be a lonely road.  

According to our forefathers, the pursuit of happiness is our inalienable right – so do your patriotic duty by putting more joy in your life with mood boosters.
- Practice Random Acts of Kindness
- keep Moving forward together!
- Count Your Blessings
- Spend Quality Time with each other
- Give Yourself a Thumbs Up and give your partner some praise.
- Cultivate a worthwhile Partnership
Try to meet each other half way. Even Palm trees try to meet each other in the middle.