You can have the best of both Worlds.

Technology can help you stay in touch with your kids daily. Here I go.... talking about Technology..... again..... Well it is the 21st century, folks, so get with the times. Fathers on duty in Iraq and Afghanistan take the time between avoiding bombs and flying bullets to get on SKYPE.com to talk to their kids.  We divorced dads can do it too. 

The Judge says: "you will have the kids every other weekend, sir. Starting with the 2nd weekend and then the 4th"  What does this really mean. First, Avoid getting angry, then start thinking outside the box...... 

When a father is away from the stress of a failed marriage, he can be more relaxed and more reflective and as a result enjoy being more fully involved with his children. Well, here is where we Dads have a problem. Lets start with the "Fully involved" part. How can he do this in just two weekends a month?

Maybe I'm thinking a little rebellious again, but bear with me! In many families, mom is the center of everything and the husband is the supporting player. But with divorce, the Father needs to have more one on one time with his kids in ways he  never did before. This can certainly be true, and some father-child relationships do improve after divorce, but it takes work. As a general rule, however, divorce is often what drives fathers and kids apart. 

Iphone, Ipad, Xoom, Blackberry, Samsung and other devices make it easier for Dads to stay in contact with their kids.

Technology can  prevent or reduce what is called parental alienation where in the past the residential parent may - consciously or unconsciously - block contact either out of her resentment towards the father or because she has remarried and is protecting the stepfather relationship. Fathers can get around the road blocks by giving their kids pre-paid cell phones to insure contact. Divorce contracts are also often written to permit contact through email accounts.

Example: J.D. a divorced dad to two girls, admits to using Facebook to keep in contact with his kids. Checkup on them daily checkout their friends. “Sometimes when we speak on the phone I can tell if Mom is standing there and then later my daughter will contact me on Facebook,” he said. “A lot of Dads complain that moms could stand in the way of communication but now it’s almost impossible because kids are so tech savvy.” Therefore if Dad puts forth the effort your kids will enjoy the continuous contract.In fact, J.D, who had a contentious divorce with his ex-wife, says that email helps divorced parents diminish “the nastiness in our dialogues” which the kids would overhear on the phone. Now he can email what time he’s picking up the kids and delivering them without any verbal warfare…

So lets get back to where Fathers can do an end-around the roadblocks. Use the technology to make your kids feel your presents. Every other weekend is not enough time to do all that you can do with them or for them.

Start by telling them...... DAD will play a fun game with you, online. Dad will call using Skype.com, Dad will place a comment on your Facebook pictures, Dad can send gifts to you using Facebook apps. Dads can even check your homework and help you when you are struggling. If your kids need Dads advise, they just need to poke you and you can respond. Kids can use the pre-paid phone to call Dad. You can call them back if you missed the call. These are things that are available. So use your every other weekend for personal contact, like hugs. 

To answer the question which is hanging like a dark cloud over the Afro-American Community. Do Good Black Fathers Still Exist?" 

The answer is "YES", but Fathers need to get past the obstacles and do whatever they can, within the lines of the playing fields. Which requires a little extra effort. Let me put it is sports terms. We practice and prepare for the big game. Football, Basketball, Baseball, Golf, Tennis and even Chess requires you to overcome obstacles to meet the challenges. Fatherhood is no different it's all in the way you approach the challenges. MAN UP and reach out and tough your kids REGULARLY. 

On the upside:

The 1st and 3rd weekends are now YOUR to do with as you please. 

You can go out and get your Mack on. 

No longer having to account for your time. 

No need to Answer questions and have your kids look at you as if you are betraying them. 

- No more "who is She?" 

- No more "why can't you just stay home with me." 

- No more having to say "I'm sorry for whatever."  

Enjoy your new found freedom and enjoy quality time with your kids, too.

You may want to read these: Stories for all Dads!