It takes a Village or at least 10 advisors to assist a good woman

Several years ago a woman asked my advise on some issues. I gave her my B.A.D advise, then I started thinking... She needs  more way to get advise than what I can give her... because I  can only give her advise from Man's perspective.

so here is my top 10 problem solvers:

1.      The "elder" Stateswoman. she's got 7 to 10 years on you, and those few years give her an insight to your life that is priceless.. However she's young enough to remember how she was at your age, and old enough to help you sidestep unnecessary drama, especially when it comes to dealing with work and/ or men. whatever advice she gives, 99% of it turns out to be right on time.

2.      A Lady Problem Solver. You have a good reputation and some common sense, but every now and then a situation occurs when using them doesn't solve a problem quickly. You can't be caught acting a fool, but she doesn't care and is willing to take the heat. When you're at a party , if another woman is flirting with your date, she will handle it. When you find out your man is cheating. She's  willing to confront the woman  (even though it's not really the woman's fault.)  Do you have a beef, she will ask, " Do I need to come up there?" (the correct answer is NO.) Whenever there is drama. she's got your back.

3.      The  "All the way Turned  UP" Friend. She's not your day-to-day friend because you're grown with a real job and, let's face it, too old to be in the club every night with her. But when you need to plan your birthday party, your bachelorette party, your get-over-an-ex-party, she knows where to go--- and she knows the doorman and the manager, whenever that is necessary. She's never a dull moment on vacation, but you can't talk those details- what happened in Vegas  (or on the beach at Orient Bay in SXM) stays your and her secret.

4.      The "To the Lord in Prayer" friend. You remember her when she was " all the way turned up," but now she can't finish a sentence without  referencing the Bible. And despite her past, she can be really judgmental. that combination drives you crazy when you're just trying to " do you." But when you're down and out and have nowhere else  to turn, she will pray with you and of r you. And surprisingly, it helps.

5.      A Platonic Male Friend. Sure, you could just go to a blog and get male insight, but a lot- not all- of male dating and relationship bloggers are just in it to meet more women, or are just plain trouble makers. You need someone who is, a.) not trying to see you socially b) and is going to analyze your problem and give you the insight he would give his sister or his daughter. This is where you will find  genuine advice.

6.      The "keep it 300" Friend. She's the friend people are referencing when they see a woman looking crazy in the street and say ."Dang she don't have any friends?" If you're not sure about your new hair color, you send her a pic and she'll tell you if it works. You want to know if you should give a guy you're dating another chance? She'll break down the relationship history. You want to know if you look fat in your dress? She'll tell you the truth. Utilize her liberally.

7.      A Happy Married Friend. If  you want to be married, and especially if you didn't grow up with married parents, you need to be around someone who can keep it real with you about ups and downs of modern relationships and how to make one work. It requires patience sacrifice and a whole lot of communication, and even goes dancing with her husband on weekends, which is easier in theory that in application. she shows you how to do it right.

8.      The VAULT. If she wasn't with you on that vacation with the " all the way turned up" friend, you broke the rules and told her about the trip. She knows your deepest, darkest secrets, including that one time you did X,  Y and Z that you would take to your grave, except you already told her because she's the exception to the  rule. You trust her because when you ask about other people's business, she shrugs and says, "I don't know." When the secret comes out years later, you found out she knew the day it happened. She might even have been there.. But never talked about it.

9.      The Instigator. She's unapologetically messy, but it can work in your favor. You have too much pride to follow your ex on social media, but this friend will gladly do so and report back what he's up to. she knows all the gossip, from who said what about you to who has " a beef" with you. You think you know, but only she has any idea.

10.  The" I know Someone (who Knows someone)" friend. she 's similar to your "all the way turned up" friend, but with much better connections.  You apply for your dream job- she knows someone (who knows someone.) You need to hook up your dad with floor seats to a game for his birthday? she knows someone (who knows someone) on the team.  You need a hookup for a last-minute vacation? she knows someone (who knows someone) who can get you and upgrade at the hotel.

Okay I might have a few more friends who serve other purposes , but 10 is enough friends... Trust me The BAD friends I've had over the years have good and Bad  habits I can talk about in other blog posts in the future.