a few Myths About Emotions That might be Holding Us Back in our relationships!

As a society, we don’t talk much about emotions. Conversations tend to focus more on what we’re doing or what we’re thinking. In fact, most people find it easier to start sentences with, “I think…” instead of “I feel…” simply because it feels  less awkward.

I was talking to a young lady the other day and she was telling that we had a debate about something in the past. I didn't recall, so I stalled for a little time,  as I was trying to remember where we had met. In her words: " you don't remember because you lost the debate" then I said: "  OK... Did I loose the debate because I agreed with you? Or was it a tie. She said: "No you lost because, I am a woman and woman always win an argument" I  had to admit defeat or we would start a brand new argument... I was not interested in doing that... simply not worth the energy.  So she got the satisfaction of having declared victory... It became more about how my giving in made her feel empowered. 

Most of us are never educated about feelings. Instead, we’re supposed to learn socially acceptable ways to deal with feelings by watching the people around us. Those of us who weren't fortunate enough to grow up surrounded by emotionally superb role models likely missed out on an important emotional concept or two.
There are certainly cultural differences when it comes to emotions. Social norms differ over what is considered acceptable in terms of talking about feelings and dealing with them. In fact, most languages have words for certain emotions that don’t have equivalent translations. (Popular Science recently shared 21 emotions for which there are no English equivalents)." Feel  good moments" are always etched into our  brain as the emotion of choice.... those who remember all negatives are often bitter and self punishing people, which explains how we, after some time has past , start thinking:" Oooh she was not that bad. There are  a few things about her that I liked, there must have been  or I would not have had any dealings with her. "

It’s no wonder there is a lot of confusion about emotions. Here are some of the most common misconceptions about emotions:


1. I should feel differently. So often people will say things like, “I know I shouldn't be so upset over something so little,” or, “I really should be happier than I am.” There aren't any rules about emotions and your emotional reaction isn't wrong. Rather than waste energy beating yourself up over how you feel, accept that you feel that particular emotion right now and that you have choices in how you react to that emotion.My B.A.D. approach has always played trick on my emotions. I have a tendency to let things  go.. way too quickly. therefore, I come across as someone who is un-feeling. This may be true, because I have an internal protection switch built in  which allows me  avoid on going conflict. My motto if she gets on my nerves she will not get the chance to get on my last nerve. Simple logical resolutions. are very satisfying in my book!  

2. I can’t control how I feel. Even though your emotions aren't wrong, that doesn't mean you have to stay stuck in a particular mood. You can certainly choose to make changes that will influence the way you feel. If you want to change the way you feel, choose to change the way you think and behave.  Why harp on something forever as tomorrow the sun will shine again and the fresh air should help clear your mind.  Can't control how you feel, means you let your situation keep you in a rut. repeatedly...... and you can't help it.  A new day sunny day let me see all the  new things in fresh sun light.

3.Venting will make me feel better. A widely held misconception is that if you’re not talking to everyone about your feelings, you must be “suppressing your emotions” or “stuffing your feelings.” But research shows that the opposite is quite true, at least when it comes to anger. Punching a pillow or calling everyone you know to tell them how bad your day was will only increase your arousal and won’t make you feel better. To vent means someone is willing to hear your crap. If You get on the top floor of a building and shout out you problem.  you  might feel better, but no one down below will really hear you or care about your issues. However with easy access to mobile social media chats, and texting. People believe they have an audience all the time. news flash, this makes it easier for folks to ignore you, also. not much different from  you standing on the roof top  venting. 



4. Trying to control my emotions is synonymous with behaving like a robot. Sometimes people think that regulating their emotions means trying to act as if they don’t have feelings. But, that’s not the case. A realistic view of emotions shows that we’re capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions but we don’t have to be controlled by those emotions. After a hard day, choosing to do something to help you feel better – as opposed to staying in a bad mood – is a healthy skill.
The term:" that does not compute!" come to my  mind here, when I think about this. a case of Road rage for example  I witnessed a guy who got the middle finger from another motorist as he tried to get her attention. The  one drive became furious and drove past the other  car cutting  in front of her and hit his brakes. got out of his car and was force to dive back into his car,  as  the young lady in the other car was a female, off duty  state trooper, who  fired a round into his back window and shattered it. the aggressive motorist panicked  and drove away instantly. Now he had to replace his rear window because he just had to give into his emotions. the state trooper remained calm and was cold blooded when she shot a bullet into his car. that was self defense not robotic in any way.    

5. Other people have the power to make me feel certain emotions. So often, people will say things like, “My boss makes me so mad,” or, “My co-worker makes me feel so bad about myself.” But in reality, no one can make you feel anything. Other people may influence how you feel, but you are the only one in charge of your emotions.

Become emotionally aware. Are you receptive to your emotions? Most people aren't. However, the first step to increasing emotional intelligence is to identify your emotions. When emotions arise, identify them and ask “Why am I feeling this way?” “Is it appropriate given the circumstances?” Although it’s believed that rational decision making  yields the best results, emotions often trump the rational mind. Even in relationships, people often make decisions based on emotional attachments to ideas, past experiences, and perceived outcomes. Therefore, becoming more emotionally aware and understanding how your emotions fit into the big  picture are critical to evaluating your thinking and performance and ultimately lead to achieving greater success in your relationships..

6. I can’t handle uncomfortable emotions. When people doubt their ability to tolerate certain emotions, it leads to avoidance. Someone who experiences frequent bouts of anxiety may pass up opportunities to be promoted. A person who feels uncomfortable with confrontation may avoid meeting with a co-worker to problem-solve a situation. Learning to deal with uncomfortable emotions directly builds confidence. When you don’t allow your emotions to rule your behavior, you’ll learn you can handle a lot more than you imagined.
Harness your emotions. Do you have access to your emotions when you need them? You should. Harnessing your emotions for brainstorming and problem solving this can help you exert an even greater influence on everything you do in  your relationships. Emotions can be like high-octane fuel for your brain and nervous system.  So use your emotions constructively — to enhance your input, output, planning, evaluation, collaboration, and every element that affects the beginning, middle, and bottom line in relationships.

7. Negative emotions are bad. It’s easy to categorize emotions as being good or bad, but feelings in themselves aren't positive or negative. It’s what we choose to do with those emotions that can make the difference. Anger, for example, often gets a bad rap. While some people make horrible choices when they’re mad, other people choose to use anger in a proactive manner. Many of the world’s positive changes wouldn't have ever occurred if activists hadn't gotten angry about injustices they witnessed.
Manage your emotions. It’s one thing to identify your emotions and another to access them on demand. However, the million dollar question is whether you can manage them. This includes regulating your own emotions, as well as positively influencing the emotional state of others. Prioritize these activities by practicing them daily, as they will affect your ability to lead (and others to follow).

8. Showing emotion is a sign of weakness. While it’s a healthy social skill to be able to behave professionally even when you’re not feeling at the top of your game, letting your guard down at socially appropriate times isn't a sign of weakness. In fact, being aware of your emotions and making a conscious decision to share those emotions with others – when it’s socially appropriate to do so- can be a sign of strength.
Regulating your emotions, this is like regulating your behavior, is not an easy task. But it pays huge dividends. By exercising discipline and empathy for others, you will increase your success exponentially.Additionally, your ability to connect, on a visceral level, to the reasons why you do what you do in your life is imperative to both short-term and long-term success. Such insight can pave the way for better overall decision making and provide the inspiration to expand your expectations of what’s possible. 

Developing an awareness and understanding of your emotions can be complicated when you’re not used to thinking about how you feel. Just like most skills in life, with practice you’re ability to recognize, tolerate and regulate your emotions will improve.Increased emotional self-awareness is key to achieving success in your personal life.With continued focus, emotional intelligence can become second nature. Why not guarantee your success by becoming more emotionally aware, harnessing your emotions, and managing them, too.The more harmonious relationship you want will be obtained as a result.  These are  just my BAD emotional thoughts!

Men have been chanting this mantra for years, "it's impossible to make a woman happy!

– usually while downing a few cold ones at the local happy hour before heading back to the very wife he’s trying to make happy. not really realizing that it's impossible to make  some women happy.

And therein lies the rub.

Husbands cannot make their wives happy. ask some why the TV weekly  "Scandal"  is so popular 

Husbands are not an assembly line of factory happiness ready to restock her aisles once she becomes low in supply of today’s happy inventory.

Yet, this is what many husbands strive for, and what many wives expect. A husband is not a miracle cure for all the hardships a wife is to face in her life, yet so many women end up walking around aimlessly after their vows have come and gone only to be in the same or worse emotional state than before their wedding day. How does this happen?

Because a husband cannot make a woman happy. No outside force for that matter can make anyone truly happy on the inside. Only perspective and self-esteem can do that.

Yet we still have an epidemic of men stressing themselves stupid because they live every single day of their lives with a spouse miserable from the time the sun comes up to the time her head hit the pillow every night, thinking if there was simply something they could do differently, then he could bring back his wife’s smile permanently – or at least a few days.

the following are my TERM LIMITS areas. i.e. mostly done for period of time then they stop!

• Flowers. 
• Random phone calls. 
• Special text messages.
•  Running bath water. 
• Doing laundry. 
• Doing dishes. 
• Impromptu gifts. 
• Taking the kids away for a weekend. 
• Giving her alone time.
• Giving her romantic time. 
• Planning multiple date nights. 
• Night out dancing. Massages. 
• Bringing home her favorite dessert. 
• Supporting her goals. 
• Finding a way to pay for her new degree. 
• Finally earning enough so she doesn't have to work. 
• It just doesn't matter. It's never going to be enough! 

FACT: If she’s not already appreciative of the good things she already has in her life, no matter what he brings to the table, it cannot change her disposition.

Husbands – you need to let go of that burden. Keep up everything you’re doing for the woman you love, but do it because you love doing those things for her. Don’t do it because you believe it will change the core of who she is. You’ll only both end up miserable, or worse yet, you will become resentful.

Wives – it’s been told to you time and time again that you’re a princess, worthy of being catered to by the one who truly loves you, and this isn't  necessarily untrue. Just remember that it is unreasonable to expect one human being to be the supplier of all your earthly needs. And if your husband is providing all of your needs as a good husband, don’t lay all your other unmet needs (internally and externally) at his feet. Always communicate them, but be careful where you point blame for the things you are unsatisfied with in your own life.

By no means do I think this is solely an issue for the wives, but I've  never heard a group of women try to solve each other’s marital woes after a night of apple martini’s with, “Girl, you know how the saying goes…happy husband, happy life.” Yeah, you neither.

Hopefully, through open and honest communication, all issues between both spouses are being hashed out with their partner in life. That’s the beginnings of a true happy life. 

Until you listen Chris Rock.

Things Men Really Want In A Relationship

We men have often seen what is written about how to impress women and what women want, now its time we talk about what men like and need in our relationships. Men are often reluctant to discuss things we  need emotionally and prefer to be quiet and suffer inside, but as a wonderful partner you probably want to know what your man really needs from your relationship.

 Here are some obvious needs for most men:

• Appreciation
Men often complain that their partners don’t appreciate them or say what they like about us. The term ‘male ego’ is famous, and as a partner you must take care of your man’s ego. Praise us and appreciate  our effort, efficiency, love, and sexual prowess. We  really love to hear how good we  are in bed. Most men don’t require constant appreciation but when something is good why not just say it and improve our day? Keep telling your man about his good looks, gestures, and whatever you like about him. We may say: "Naah, I'm OK "(cool) somewhat embarrassed. but  say it any way!


• Communication
Often women feel their men should get their clues or hints to find out what’s missing or bothering them, but men actually need good communication to know these things, and will rarely get your clues. Lack of communication leads to disappointment in women (as to why he is not getting any clue) and irritation in men. so just say what's on your mind!

• Live your own life
We Men want our partners to have their own life and keep their own identity. This does not mean we don’t love you or are not interested in you, We will support you in your activities and plans. Have your own set of friends, goals, activities, and passions. You must have a life which is going to surprise your partner every day in a happy manner.

• Good Sex Life
This is one of the most important things a man desires in a relationship. If you are a woman who satisfies your man’s desires he will remember it always. Keep your man happy and he’ll keep you happy in return.

• Respect
Mostly men command, not demand, respect. This is a basic factor in a healthy relationship, you should respect your partner for what he has been doing for you, your relationship, and your family. He should feel his efforts are being acknowledged by you. Hardships will always be there but you should learn to conquer them together.

• Games Free Relationship
Most men don’t like being manipulated. We expect our partners to know how to be treat someone with respect. A relationship free of mind games or blaming games lasts longer. Take care of the fragility of your relationship and trust the man you chose. This will help them trust you, love you, and respect you as well.

• Comfort and space!
Last but not least – comfort. In our busy stressful life men want some peace, which we expect from our partner. We want to feel comfortable and relaxed when we  are with you, which will help relieve our stress. This is about being in touch with  us emotionally, men do have emotions although we may not show it. We get our strength from you, so you should be supportive.


Now for a few things that men really do not want in a relationship.

Neediness

good Women don’t need gifts on a regular basis. They prefer presents to be special. however some  want gifts all the time. Why? Because they’re insecure and need stuff to know you “love” them and make them feel  secure.


Obsession

Good Women don’t get obsessed about what you do and who you do it with. Constant questions about where you were and who you were with is a major sign you’re dealing with an obsessive woman.

Jealousy in a bad way. 

Jealous  Women do  mind if you have female friends, in fact, they hate it because you can get another woman’s attention on things that makes you  grow as a person. Women who  don’t like their man to have any female friends apart from them. have   insecurity issues. OK the pic indicates that what  men   usually want is two willing women to satisfy his ego,  each woman   willing to  do different things for him because men seldom find one woman that is willing to do all of the things he wants...... the trick is to get these women to get along with each other. Oooh, that would be the trick of the century, because jealous women hate all other women!

Definite Signs He or She Is The Person For You!

1. A good person never lets you forget how much he/she loves you.
I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with women who tell me that there is no affection in their relationship. The man or woman in their life does not make them feel loved, wanted, or appreciated. This is a profoundly important piece of the puzzle – a good man or woman will always remind you how much you mean to them.
I understand men can be less communicative or affectionate than women are, but this does not excuse the severe lack of effort put forth by our generation. If someone truly loves you, you will know it and feel it. If they don’t, you’ll be wondering all the time if they do.

*side note: this is perfect when two people are on the same page. here is what nobody tells you, you are two people joint together by commitment and at some point in time at least one of the two will question the others commitment. Why?  Because no relationship is 50/50. From the point you start feeling I'm doing more for her or him  you will have less show of love and affection. and more questions that will keep you from acting the way you did in very early days of the relationship.    

2. A good person always supports you.
Regardless of whether you want to go back to school after 20 years to get your Master’s degree, start a singing career, or stay at home to raise a family, a good person will always support you and what you want out of your life. He/She will never discourage you or make you feel as though you can’t do what you set out to do. He will be beside you every step of the way, cheering on your victories and comforting you during your defeats.


**side note: You need to define support in today's terms. This is something that we all need to understand..... things are not like they were when your parents supported each other... roles are still being defined and talked about  in similar terms but they are so different these days. Men sometimes stay home as their mates have the  better jobs and incomes, but do men do the things the wives of old..... did? Not likely, men feel like less of a man when they are not in control.  Women going back to school at the right time can grant the results they want. But when she is 50 she might want to go back and get her masters degree for her own personal self esteem issue. But will she get a job or will she need to start a business to make money? Or he might want to change careers and decides to take a few classes and try something new. this does not grant any of the two the success they seek. this can really stretch the support factor to the limits.       

3. A good person will work to gain your trust.
A good man will want you to be comfortable and confident in your relationship. The very cornerstone of this is being able to trust someone, and he will realize that. Without trust there is no foundation for love or respect.He will understand that trust is not just handed over to someone – it has to be earned, and then it has to be kept.

***side note: define "trust" here again we are talking about things in terms of "all men are dogs" but when men refer to women as "bitches" it's an insult. "Bitches in heat will attract all the dogs from miles away. this explains the  litter have multiple puppy types(unless you control the mating process). But women who are honorable will stick to one man Just as long as that man is  acting right.... and even if he step outside of the relationship and flirts with a female who just works all the angles to get his attention. he can be forgiven... but women who were not trust worthy in the past  will have a hard time selling their  trust worthiness to anyone in the future. Like  Men can!

4. A good person will always make you feel beautiful.
He/She will understand that making you feel beautiful does not just mean saying the words to you. It will mean truly making you feel beautiful. In the way he/she looks at you, touches you, and treats you. He/she will notice details when you put effort into your appearance and remind you how attractive he/she still finds you even when you don’t. A good person will understand that whether you are in your sweatpants on the couch or in your evening gown, when you love someone for who they truly are, everything about them becomes beautiful.

****side note: define beautiful.... what or who is beautiful in my eyes is not even real beauty in the person's own eyes if she has self esteem issues.  So you are setting your self up for that fall from the grace issues. Define thing that are beautiful that will not change like hopefully her personality the way she handle situations. then define beauty as in the eyes of the beholder. Not the public attention she will attract as she walks down the street wit her mask.







5. A good person does the little things.

Do you need a prescription filled but have to stay late at work? Did you mention an comedy show coming to town and he/she made plans to take you to see it? Regardless of how small certain things seem, he/she will understand they are really the big things that matter most.

*****side note: wow, You know that  these points were taken from someone who is female. Men see the little things as a well fixed meal at a nicely set  table  at 6 pm.  Not in terms of going somewhere or running out to pick up what he needs like his dry-cleaning . so think about what the other person really likes and then define the little things from their perspective not your own. 

6. A good person never crosses the line.
It is natural to have disagreements and even arguments in a relationship – but there is no reason to make things personal, become insulting, and never, ever to become abusive. A good person will remain calm and stay on the topic at hand. Perhaps the most important point of all. Whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically, a good man/woman will never even think about being abusive towards you or harmful in any way. If this happens to you – please have the courage and respect for yourself in order to talk to someone or walk away immediately. No good person would ever act like this and it will not get better on its own.

*****side note: Threats are the ultimate sign of immaturity. If your woman threatens to hurt you or herself, she’s a immature girl..... and the same applies if a guy crosses the line he will do it again and again until  it’s time for you to walk away.. 

7. A good person understands actions speak louder than words.
Having the right man/woman in your life will make you understand that people who make promises do not deserve your respect. People who keep promises deserve your respect, and he/she will be one of them.

*******side note: Some of you are thinking you should be giving your all to whoever you are dating and that is all well and good but I ask you to think about how many boyfriends/girlfriends you have had in your life prior to meet this latest perfect person. Truth is many people come and many people go in a lifetime so that is the main reason you should wait until the holy sacrament of marriage to be 100% vested emotionally, physically and spiritually in love with each other with no conditions.

8. A good person will open up to you.
It can be difficult for some men/women to express their emotions, fears, and even inner-most desires – but having the right man/woman in their life often helps to open those doors. A good man/woman, while understanding of course some things are to be kept private, will not hide things from or bottle up feelings knowing it will cause tension and frustration.

********side note:We have all been there guys. You meet a great woman, she’s nice, she’s sweet, pretty and knows just what to do to make you happy. Then you realize that you haven’t been dating a woman; you've  been dating a girl. the need for Constant Communication texting all the time.
Women don’t need to call, text or email you all the time. Girls do. Getting ten texts a day is a sign you’re dating a girl.

9. A good person will always be honest with you.
When building a foundation for a happy, healthy relationship, a good man/woman will understand that honesty is always the best policy.

*********side note:This is a big one. Women don’t mind if you have female friends, in fact, they like it because you can get another woman’s perspective on things and grow as a person. Girls don’t like their man to have any female friends apart from them. Again, it’s insecurity that separates the women from the girls. Know the difference!

10. A good person will stand by you no matter what.
When a man commits his love and his time to a woman, there are no stipulations or circumstances required. There will be good times and there will be not-so-good times. There will be challenges and unexpected situations that arise. But he will stay by your side and be your teammate through it all.
Of course, there is an asterisk on this. This does not mean you can disrespect him, lie, or cheat. It does not mean you can betray his trust and expect him to stick around because he promised to commit to you. This point is about things the two of you go through together and him having the integrity needed to not walk away when times get hard.
Any man can be by your side on the sunny days. The real test of character is whether or not he will hold the umbrella over you during the stormy days. And ladies, if the man you are with puts in the effort to be this person for you, please let him know how much you appreciate him. No matter how kind a person is, there is no emptier feeling than giving your heart to someone who you feel takes it for granted.

***********side note: A woman is a Queen but she is not YOUR QUEEN until you are committed to each other. You  two should  Never get ahead of yourself losing perspective because there is no rush, so be patient. Don’t give her every waking moment you or she has free for that matter. Keep your freedom to do things with your running buddies (boyz),kids and/or friends and she should have her space as well to hang out with her girls, go shopping, etc. She deserves QUALITY TIME but NOT ALL YOUR TIME while dating.

 My disclaimer: all of the above and the following are  "allegedly true!"

You need to get it RIGHT to do it "RIGHT"

What do you do,  when fall out of tune because you are not thinking?

•Undressing before you are sure where the evening is headed. It is awkward if you are standing there half naked and she is wondering why.Coming inside off the beach can prevent the mix-up as you may have already shown her you're buff.

•Have bad hygiene! It is a non-starter if you haven’t showered or shaved in days. Come on men, we like women to be clean and smell good, they would appreciate the same from us.

You are not clean unless you are Zestfully clean. 

•No foreplay. Women like foreplay before getting to the endgame. Spend some time with it because unlike us, most women take more time to get ready. Beware, don’t finish before she is halfway there. If you don't have a clue, watch Lesbian Porn. you will get a two for one in this case.  

•Ignoring everything except the big three. Don’t just focus on between her legs, lips and her chest. Women do enjoy some exploration. Let you hands wander, and she may do the same to you. I repeat: If you don't have a clue, watch Lesbian Porn. you will get a two for one in this case.  

•Hair pulling or biting. Don’t assume women want to have their hair yanked or their nipple bit. Just because you saw it in a porno movie does not make it true.

•Surprising foreign objects. Use your imagination and then don’t go there. Unless asked specifically, do not surprise her with a make-shift dildo. Or even the real thing.
Leaving money on the night stand can send a strange  mixed signal message , she can be insulted or she can be very happy.. 

•Going too hard. You are not working construction, so hammering harder will not make it better. Slow down a little and ease up. Unless specifically asked you could be ruining her evening. That won’t go over well for either of you. Porn images in your head can be detrimental to the moment. 

•Stopping for a break. If you slow down you are just going to have to make up time, because women can lose their desire quickly, then where will you be? Get in shape so that you don't need to catch your breath in the middle of  when the action should become more intense........

•Unsolicited back door entry. Unless specifically requested, a surprise in her rear will not make her a happy woman.

Once a Porn images in your head can make you think she want it in every point of entry or exit.

•Obnoxious music. Techno beats or heavy gangster-rap  is not the usual mood maker men think for women. Really! What are you twelve  years old?

The cold blooded truth about Love (or) I like you very much

They both are an over-powering feelings, but there is a difference. When you fall for someone, you fall fast, and it’s all you can think about. It’s all you can talk about. Everything reminds you of the person. You get ahead of yourself, thinking about dates you’ll take them on, trips you’ll take together, and long nights of passion. With that in mind, Ladies, you really can’t like someone, and say any of the below things to them and mean them. Well, Neither can a guy!

I'm still heartbroken
He might be, but a man knows what he wants and he knows that the last thing to tell a woman he’s fallen for, is that he just broke up with someone. Guys are smarter than that. If he’s hurting, but he likes you, he’s not going to tell you about his recent heartbreak. So, if he does pull this line, he is using it to his disadvantage (in terms of getting you to like him.) In other words, he is using it to his advantage, to create distance.

I’m just not looking for a relationship right now
Single life is the best. He’s a one man show. He doesn't need anybody. Yada, yada, yada. A guy can shout about his love affair with the single life all he wants but, the louder anyone shouts about that, you can bet the deeper their actual desire is for somebody is. Everybody is looking for a relationship. Are you going to tell me that if someone you were madly in love with and who you got perfectly along with walked into your life, you’d say, “I’m just not looking for a relationship right now?” BULLShyte. And same goes for a guy. Whether he believes it or not, if he actually liked you, he’d be dating you.

I’m just so busy
Humans simply aren't this masochistic. Even the busiest person makes sure to slip fun and pleasure in somewhere. It is not in our nature to just avoid something that makes us extremely happy. We are biologically programmed to seek happiness (it’s true…we have that pleasure center that lights up whenever we do something enjoyable for a reason). So, if a man liked you, he’d find time for you. He’d make time for you. It’s in his genes to do so

I’m just not a relationship person
Similar to the “I’m not looking for a relationship right now” excuse, but different because this guy is saying he will never want a relationship. And if he says this, you can bet he got burnt. But, again, our drive for pleasure is stronger than our fear of pain. Even a man who’d been cheated on a dozen times couldn't walk away from a girl he felt gaga for. So, if he pulls this line on you, than clearly his anticipation of being happy with you, is smaller than his fear of being hurt. Translation: he doesn't like you much.

I’m busy with x,y and z but what about two weeks from tomorrow?
Maybe it wouldn't make perfect sense for him to bring you to his office party, his friend’s birthday or whatever. But, come on: when you like someone, you want them with you almost everywhere! You don’t feel they are a burden to bring along. You feel they enhance the fun. If a guy likes you, he doesn't find reasons you shouldn't accompany him places. He looks for reasons why you should come along!

Let’s take it slow
Disagree if you will but, I think you either like someone or you don’t. And that means you either want them around, or you don’t. There is no such thing as building feelings at a rate you’re comfortable with. They are either there, and you have to deal with that and accept that. Or they’re not there. If a guy wants to take it slow, that means he wants to like you because on theory you seem good, but he just hasn't fallen. And he won’t.

I've had so much on my mind
Like I said in the intro, love is an over-powering feeling that dominates your thoughts. If a man has forgotten to call you, make a date with you or return your text because he’s had “so much on his mind” that means he considers you just one more responsibility! You know that when you like someone, they distract you from everything else going on in your life. And you consider it a joy to just sit and think about them, not a chore.

I’m focused on my career 
It’s all fine and dandy for his career to be an important part of his life, but it shouldn't be his reason for putting you to the side.

I just want to have sex with you
If he says this by the first or second date, you should consider yourself to be out of the potential-wife zone. Guys know how to talk to someone they’re taking seriously vs. someone they’re just trying to establish a sexual relationship with.