We often see what the other person wants us .....to see about them, in the beginning!

Only people who are having an affair (co-workers usually)  look this much into each other in public...She is hanging on his every word.. Couples don't need to be this attentive they are going home together in a little while.....

The statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce has been highly debated and disputed over the last few years, yet that number just keeps swirling around. It often prolongs younger generations' decision on when or whether to marry. Although the divorce rate varies depending on demographics, it can happen to any couple, and wanting to prevent a permanent parting of ways is a very real concern for most couples. While finances and communication have been cited as some of the most common causes for divorce, let's look at what happens the most

We all know financial problems and poor communication can cause marital problems, but what other threats are lurking in the distance?  

Lack of Investment

We think of investments in regard to money. But we forget about the time investment and education investment that we need to have in learning how to maintain successful marriages. Why do we think we don’t need any skills when going into a marriage? What other job do we sign up for without any training?  Include simply investing time in each other that may include 2-3 hours of your undivided attention for your partner and even  seeking out couples’ counseling and/or books to help you navigate the obstacles of a marriage (before the dominoes start falling.)

Un-willingness to forgiven                     

Our inability to truly forgive our partners in marriage is one of the major reasons that they fail. True forgiveness is when we are able to treat our partners as if the offense never happened which proves to be very difficult for couples. We are constantly reliving the trauma of past experiences which never gives the wounds the opportunity to heal.     

Not Showing Up for Your Spouse                  

So many things can happen in the course of a marriage. As we experience the ups and downs of life, it’s important that our partners “show up,” in some of the most difficult experiences whether that’s losing a home, the death of a child, or a sick parent. The importance of being able to ask your partner “What is it that you need?” instead of making assumptions. A major issue as the tendency we have to simply want to fix the problem (we men). Every situation doesn’t need to be fixed. Sometimes you just need to show up. Showing up includes being able to communicate that you may not know what you need at the time, but finding the opportunities to talk through these tough situations and be honest with your partner.    

Forgetting the Friendship                     

Somehow the terms “husband” and “wife” add so much more pressure than we’ve experienced in our relationships prior to the marriage. Often times, without realizing it, we forget about the friendship that was formed in the dating process and get so far away from it after the nuptials. that we approach marriage with friendship at the forefront and learn to be able to communicate with our partners from a friend perspective without always being so easily offended.     

Catch me if you can!

Unspoken Expectations                    

This is definitely an area that seeps into our ability to communicate  (or lack of)  but is a very specific part of the puzzle that is often missed. Not only do we ignore an opportunity to communicate our expectations, but we also begin to act on those expectations not being met “We come from different backgrounds and expect different things and never communicate that to our partners. Women never let men know how crucial security is to them. Women think men should know to provide, protect, etc., but it’s rarely discussed in detail. Some Men are being brought up in single parent households and have no examples of what it means to be that security!