Victim or Prey!

 

“Are You  really expecting me to do all of what you want?”

When a man is thinking of  a woman as an asset, it becomes very hard for him to concentrate on
what he  should be saying to her, at times. Does He becomes the “victim or Prey!”

Men can't see and not think about touching a woman. We are hardwired to be physical,
whereas  women are more emotional, and they can see and not worry about keeping their hands
to themselves. This is why men will keep coming back for more and women can keep
their distance if they deem that distance is working well enough for them.

 The Singer/actor Tyrese points it out... in his confession in a video ”Tyrese Drops Jewels'' that a woman,
who.  does not understand what her man/husband needs will not be able to help him when
he needs her emotionally “You don’t know what a wife is”. We men, when we mature,
have a hard time communicating our issues, our needs to a mature woman.
We have grown up pursuing  women in physical ways. Trying to impress her to come with us to
our version of the promised land. She buys into it because of the potential that a man may have,
and how he paints the picture. The women who are independent minded are not of this mindset.
We men are stuck in a rut if we are pursuing independent minded women the same old fashion
way we did dependent females, i.e. A new method has to be designed and redesigned….
Fellahs  take note: I'm not saying the old fashion way will not work on her, it might for a little while...
until she decides that it's not all that she wants. She will always want more.
She will remind you about the times when you were willing to move heaven and
Earth to make her happy…. She expects that to continue. You can’t stop on a dime,
just because you have lost your desire to impress her. Your main purpose to keep her
excited about the things you will do…. next for her, has to be planned, even scripted.
If you feel like you have done enough … then you have reached the end of the road,
as you know it. It might be a fork in the road, or a dead end.
Either way she will no longer have much interest as she sees the road blocked as in your shortcomings.   

I’ve gotten my dream home and my pool, at an age where I can enjoy it.

I’ve had  my dream life, at an age where I was enjoying it. 

But you had to spoil it!

The home with a pool may be  cool until she has a baby or 2  then she does not like how her body 
looks in a 2 piece swimsuit anymore, and the pool is too dangerous for your kids who might have
it right outside their door… it becomes all your fault, for not knowing  that this will become a problem.
So, now you need to drain the pool and then make it into something that she is comfortable with,
this kind of stuff may make a man lose his hair, and even his mind. 
He has worked hard to give her what he thought she wanted...which was only temporarily,
then times changed and her needs changed, her wants changed, her desires changed.
We men can't instantly fix it. We can only do what we can to make her happen in increments of time.

 The best gifts a man can give to a woman is his time, his attention, his admiration....
and over time give her  his unconditional love, maybe not even in this order.

Any man who thinks those things are enough for her,  is delusional. Like Chris Rock said: “
you can make a woman happy.”  No woman is ever completely happy with the thing her man
has done for her, she will compare it with the things Prince Andrew was willing to sacrifice for
his new bride, the mother of his first born. To make her happy. You can’t begin to sacrifice that kind
of birth right. If you could… then would you? 

Men hate to think of themselves as “Victims” and women hate to think of themselves as “prey” 
this is why happiness granted to the other person is an illusion. You can’t make someone else happy..
They have to already be happy for you to keep them happy. The minute they are unhappy…...
you might as well throw in the white towel and let them give you a list of the new things that will
make them happy, in their current state of mind, but chances are you will not be able to check 
50% off of the list. If I sound like a guy who has given up. I have not…..
I have just learned when to reverse course, or pause. You see I think I understand how independent
women think. But there you have the problem. No man fully understands how independent women think… If we did we would  have to willingly become her victim.. We all know “no man” will willingly voluntarily become anyone’s “victim.” 

Final thoughts

As long as we can draw comparisons we will not be satisfied with what we have. Millionaires
want to become Billionaires, happy wives want to become independent self served women,
where they can accomplish things without her man’s help. Go figure! These women want to
boast about they did it themselves without the man’s help. But when they can’t  do it all by themselves,
it becomes the man’s “fault” for not providing enough resources and support.  

It is a paradox: because when you feel temporarily safe with your partner, your deepest
fears suddenly have a chance to surface. When these fears surface you become afraid and
are unable to share what you feel. 

Communication becomes the biggest  problem!