7/12/2016

SIGNS THAT SHE’S ABOUT TO START GETTING ON YOUR LAST NERVE

I  just believe she has a wandering eye!
Some men have to grow on you...... right Ladies. Sometimes you meet a guy who is a little rough around the edges, but underneath a few shenanigans and weird habits, there is a diamond in the rough. But other times, all you find underneath a few rough edges are more rough edges. And even though he’s adorable, or the sexual chemistry is right, everything else is just wrong.

 But when the tables are turned we men have to ask ourselves is she worth the headaches? No matter how fine she is!

If you’re dating a female  who’s giving you many red flags about herself, chances are the relationship is headed right toward a slow dance of your last nerve. It’s only natural to be tempted to want to make it work.after all .... She’s a nice looking woman, you can over look a few flaws. And sometimes something that looks wrong manages to turn out right after all. Good luck with that one!

But when things are just wrong from the very  beginning, it’s hard to ignore the feeling that these personality quirks and deja vu moments are going to turn into things that you can’t stand.

YOU’RE LAST RELATIONSHIP ENDED OVER THE SAME TYPES OF ISSUES
A bubble bath  together is great ,
but 
Why does the water have  to be so damn hot?
History likes to repeat itself, especially in relationships. But sometimes we don’t realize we’re dating the same type of woman until she hits the same nerve our ex did.

YOU COVER FOR HER
If you’re hiding her questionable behavior from your friends and family it’s a sign that you find it unacceptable too. She is not going to change, You can't make her less selfish or demanding.


YOU’VE THOUGHT “THIS JUST ISN’T GOING TO WORK”
If every fight makes you say “I’m done,” you probably need to be DONE.


SHE CALLS YOU TOO MUCH
It’s nice to be admired, but this one says more about how little you feel for her. This bugging behavior is going to bug you to death if you let her.

Her girls act like they are the Kardashian sisters......
HER PERSONALITY IS JUST A LITTLE TOO DIFFERENT
You want a woman who is not going  to take total charge of your life. These kind of personality differences only get worse over time because even though she’s nice looking, it’s clear that you just want someone different, who does not bug you.

HER FRIENDS IRRITATE YOU
Birds of a feather tend to flock together. But sometimes, when you think you are in love, it can be hard to see the annoying qualities that her friends have also happen to be the same  qualities of your love interest.

YOU GIVE AND GIVE
And she takes and takes. Unless you’re a saint, a relationship with no balance is bound to make you resentful eventually. Even though the old cliche is that.... men are giver and women are taker... this is a new world and men no longer feel we should cover your every expense,
I'm surely not feeling this connect! And neither is she.


SHE PICKS AT YOU
It started as one or two sarcastic comments that you brushed off. But when she gets bolder with her  statements, it’s going to be quite evident that she needs to  pack her stuff and go.

HER BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE
You can learn to put up with a personal pet peeve. But if her major problem is behavior that everyone around you agrees is not OK, chances are you will be of that same opinion sooner or later.

BEING WITH HER FELT BETTER THAN BEING SINGLE AND LONELY
We’ve all made bad decisions after a dating dry spell or a bad breakup. But there’s a reason why most rebounds don’t work. Eventually you will realize that you’re better off alone.

THE SEX IS THE BEST PART
You can only tolerate someone’s foolish behavior for so long — even if they are amazing in bed.
Does the word "wrong"  always have to apply to the other person? 

SHE ALWAYS THINKS SHE’S RIGHT
And you think she’s dead wrong. Whatever the issue, you’re unlikely to agree on it.

YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN HER BEHAVIOR BEFORE PEOPLE MEET HER
“She’s cool, she just _____  a lot. But we’re working on it.” When you find yourself warning people about whatever you need to throw in that blank space, it’s a sign that her behavior is about to be a big problem.

YOU’RE BITING YOUR TONGUE
Not talking about an issue tends to make it worse instead of making it go away. And if she's the
 issue, holding your tongue won’t help her go away any faster.

7/09/2016

Have you ever wondered why she looked away when you caught her eye!

Women aren’t immune to the involuntary double-takes when a good-looking stranger walks by. Believe it or not, scientists have actually studied this. It turns out that it depends if you’re wearing a shirt or not. If you aren’t wearing a shirt they go straight for the abs then the face, then your shoulders and biceps. If you’re wearing a shirt they look at your eyes, then smile, then height. But the most important thing they want to see is confidence!
I can't believe I'm getting lost in your deep gaze!
Oooh hell.... that's it? We men think women see what we want them to see... but they see what they want to see..... We can only hope that she is impressed. 


Can I read your resume on your social media?
Ladies........You can talk about women’s liberation and how a woman can do what a man can, including making the most money, but the bottom line is that it is still, as brother James Brown sang, “a man’s world.” That’s not to say men are better or superior… it’s to say there are still a lot of societal expectations and dating norms in place. And actually, a lot of them are still pretty good concepts.     If it’s a blind date or a chance meeting, there are body languages and behaviors that could send the wrong (or right) signals to a man. Here are six things that you should never do to a man when meeting him or out on a first date. Of course, these only apply if you are interested in him. 
Damn for a second I thought I had made a real connection with her!
If you've begin exchanging looks, glances and smiles with a guy across the room, do not turn and whisper and giggle to your friends. That says to him that you are either making fun of him or you are a silly, immature girls.  
 
Ladies, if you are interested.....do not look away. Exchange some positive energy before you even exchange words. Hold a glance for five seconds and then smile a little. That tells him that yes, you find him appealing. Do not suck your teeth, roll your eyes and turn away. That’s ratchet!

Where have you  been  hiding most my life, up until  this point? 
Do not ignore his flirtations. If he heads over to you, received him with a smile. He might not even come over – he might send over a drink. Raise it to him and acknowledge. Then if he heads over to you, tell him “thanks” and let the conversation begin!

Yeah, She introduced me to her friends... Game on! 

At the time all this is going on, do not ignore your pals. Walk the fence. You don’t want your friends getting annoyed and then sabotaging your encounter. Ask him his name and then say, “Tyrone, nice to meet you. These are my friends, Lisa and Shay.” Everyone’s happy!
I appreciated the offer of a ride home... but no thanks, I don't know you yet!
Do not go home with him that night. If you came with friends, leave with them. Exchange info with the guy, but it is not cool to disappear into the night with him. First of all, it’s not safe, and second of all, it does not make the right impression on him or your friends.
I knew you were nice from the second spotted you!Do not be rude to dudes in the setting that you are not interested in. You don’t have to be so flirty with them, but do show simple consideration. Who knows who is watching? The right guy may see you acting rude and think twice about approaching you.




With a little effort we could avoid making "Angles cry"



7/06/2016

THINGS EVERY SINGLE GIRL SHOULD KNOW. AND THINGS MEN SHOULD BE AWARE OF.

Fellahs be ready for the major change in female attitudes... if you are not ready to deal with the following changes you will be left in the dust..

SOLO TRAVEL CAN BE EPIC
Black travel communities are currently on the rise on popular social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook where travelers are sharing their epic, inspiring and unforgettable travel memories with others more than ever before. Our favorite part? A large number of these travelers are seeing the world solo and loving every single globetrotting second of it. Get into it, girls!

Ever since "Stella got her groove back,"  women have been out for  roaming the globe to find excitement in new places,  it can be an exiting  kick.... fellas have been doing this for decades, ask any dude that was in the military. Traveling can be both exciting and some what  lonely, unless you are really adventurous...but then you might  take unnecessary risk to have some fun!



MORE SINGLE WOMEN ARE BUYING HOMES THAN EVER BEFORE
True story! Did you know that single women now make up 16 percent of nationwide home-buyers, according to the National Association of Realtors? Meanwhile single men account for just nine percent and the gap is steadily growing year-over-year thanks to more and more women choosing to buy before they say “I do.”
OK, let's hope you have  an army of brothers that are  handymen  and architects/engineers, etc. Because even if the house is brand new, you will have challenges that you will be calling for help. This what the realtor did not tell you, as s/he hands you the keys, there is no such thing as a maintenance free home. 

MATCHMAKING IS NO LONGER TABOO
"Ooh wow, you met on "Match" too,
so how is it going and how long has it been
since you connected "
There was once a time that those men and women who sought the help of professional matchmakers were considered desperate and extremely lonely. (And with no shortage of disposable income too.) Well, it’s a new day, ladies. Professional matchmakers are making love happen every day for singles who are ready to find a real connection with a potential mate and to admit that they need a little help to do so. Local matchmakers offer a variety of services for singles at affordable costs.
This different strokes for different folks  over and over again. Who knows you well enough to find the right match for you? Surely not some software!


YOUR MARRIED FRIENDS ARE KIND OF JEALOUS
My friends are Jealous of me  having choices of the fruits I like?
…well, on occasion. Real talk moment: The grass is always greener on the other lawn. Right now you can just pick up and move to a new state, just because, take a job on the other side of the world or hole up in your house and write a bestseller, no questions asked. One of the toughest parts of marriage is finding a way to "do you" and still be one half of a “we.” There are amazing benefits to both the single and attached lifestyles. Enjoy the least complicated phase of your grown-and-sexy life to the fullest. Signed, Your Married (and Mommy) Friends
Every Skype  connection becomes a series of wishful thinking.  

DIGITAL DATING ISN'T SO SCARY
Sure, you've heard countless horror stories, and yes, at least two of your closest friends have tried and failed to find a decent date online. We get it; online dating has a bad rep. While it may not be for everybody, if you've never dipped your toes into the online dating waters, you have to try it. The best part is, whether the dates are hits or misses, you’ll learn a little something more about yourself and what you truly desire in the right match. Or, at the very least, you’ll have some amazing and hilarious tales to tell your friends over cocktails. So, go sign up already. (Have you seen how many Bridal Bliss couples met online somehow?) Enough said.



YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND
Just think he was married to your friend and now he is
YOURS
We know you’re tired of hearing people tell you that Mr. Right is out there, “but you just haven’t met him yet.” Agreed—enough of that for now. But, what if we told you there is a chance you already met your future husband and could possibly already know him well? A large number of happily-ever-afters begin as close friendships that blossom over the years or arrive when casual acquaintances finally take the time to get to know each other better.








DATING GENEROUSLY HAS ITS BENEFITS
Friends with benefits, works well for me!
Believe it or not, sometimes a guy who isn’t the “total package” or "your type" still has something special to offer you right now. Whether he’s an amazing listener, a great movie-night companion or the kind of guy who treats your friends like queens and shares your eclectic taste in tunes, enjoying the positives while focusing less on the negatives will make the dating game a lot easier to play, promise!









Living that "Single Life" has it's advantages

7/04/2016

Beloved, you too can be The Happy Black Woman! just develop these Habits!


Needless to say this article from Blackdoctor.org caught my attention.  so much so I decided to copy it and share but I had to add my comments ... my comment are in Italic.
Life is full of dynamic movements. There are ups and downs, as well as highs and lows, which create the complex situations that we all navigate daily. Balancing our careers, families, physical health, and our desire to thrive as productive beings often results in stress and the overall feeling that we don’t have enough time and energy to adequately manage everything.
Our happiness is often dependent upon and defined by our circumstances. When life yields positive results, we are overjoyed and ecstatic. When life produces negative outcomes that we can’t impact or control we live feeling disengaged, overwhelmed, confused and angry.
It is easy to be happy and optimistic when circumstances are all in your favor. When everything is going your way, you don’t think about being happy, it just happens. But what happens when challenges arise?  How do you stay joyful when your relationships fall apart, or when you experience difficulties at work?  No matter how difficult the struggle or how strong the adversity, happiness is a choice.
I love the beach but I don't like sand between my toes
so I have to sit higher and let my feet dangle. 

We all have days when we are a bit overwhelmed by all the activities that go on around us. I try making sense of people and what makes them tick... that is a royal waste of time..... because what makes them tick and motivates them will never be the same things that do it for you. So kick back and observe and let the traffic die down and you will see who is going to bring you the right energy. just ignore the rest.

As the founder of Happy Life Solutions, I co-created #MeetMeHappy with my partners at Induo Events to establish a community of people that are passionate about living happier lives. We are currently conducting the #MeetMeAtHappy challenge, which is a 30 day challenge based on my book, One Choice, Choose Happiness. It is designed to empower people to make the choice to choose happiness every single day, even when it isn’t the easiest choice.  So the million dollar question is, “How do we actually choose happiness?”
When we waste our time and energy worrying about or trying to change things that we don’t have the ability to impact, we are choosing to be frustrated, confused and unhappy. By exhausting our efforts to impact the things that we actually can control, like our own behavior and actions, we are on the road to choosing happiness. Here are six ways that you can choose happiness today:
We need to just drop everything and escape 
even for just a little while

Different strokes for different folks..... I will admit that I can be totally different in my way of thinking. This in my view, is my ultimate experience of living in paradise.... I don't think I'm that different from others..... the notion that traffic jams, and long lines at whatever is worth the frustration of continuing to living  in a major  metropolitan city, when you are really sick of it.....  is just nuts, make a move while you are young enough to enjoy life somewhere else.

1. Just drop it.
How much of your time is spent dwelling on things that have NO long-term impact on your life or that of your loved ones? Did someone cut you off while driving to work? Did someone post an article you didn’t like on Facebook? Was someone rude to you at the grocery store? Did someone take a parking spot that you were waiting for? Who cares! Just drop it!
If the things you are dwelling on have no long-term impact on your life please stop caring about them immediately! It is not the end of the world that you chipped a nail after just getting a manicure. It is not the end of the world that stranger that you won’t likely ever see again did something rude to you. There are things in life that WILL impact your future. Focus on loving others, as well as being kind, grateful and appreciative of all of the awesomeness around you. Don’t waste your time worried about, focused on, or complaining about things that don’t matter. If you want to be happier, exert your energy toward the goodness in your life.

Let's try working  on cleansing techniques  every day when possible. breath in the positive, exhale the negative. And most important have a "I can do" attitude.

2. Control your emotions.

Sometimes we have all of the information that we need about people, places or things. If someone has shown you who they are, why are you shocked every time you spend time with them? You can’t control other people but you can control yourself. Stop indulging in negative emotions in reaction to things that you can see coming from a mile away. If you knew it would rain on Monday every week for the next year, would you ever leave home without an umbrella on a Monday? Grab your umbrella and stop letting the rain get you wet.  Control your emotions. Exert your energy toward people, places and things that make you happy.
Some would say this is  impossible, you hit a nerve and the emotions start to flow. Then again. Not all females of the Black Persuasion are the same. So if she suppresses her emotions she is either  an active volcano..or (I'm sorry for you if she is)  maybe a doormat  volcano, step on her one more time and experience the eruption....  

3. Embrace change.
Change is part of life. The only things that don’t change are dead things. In order to live happier lives, we have to start seeing change as an opportunity to grow and move forward. Oftentimes, the changes that we are resisting are going to present something in the long term that allows us to be in a better place than we currently are. Stop glamorizing the past. It is going to take change to get you to your desired future, so just embrace the changes that are coming your way. If you continue to be the same, your results will remain the same. Get excited about a new season and a new chance to impact the world.
I finally mastered the back stroke
What could be  more heavenly than the colors turquoise, blue and navy of the Caribbean sea. If progress is very  important, ( you need a change of scene as often as possible) embrace change, to be continuously  proactive in creating images of your future. what is really wonderful is that while you are creating other goals and taking action, out of nowhere you will hear the domino drop. another goal accomplished!



4. Don’t be a control freak. 
Life is not meant to be controlled. It is meant to be lived. The only things that you can control are your emotions and your actions. You can’t control every outcome in life nor can you control other people, so stop trying. When you try to control everything you end up stressed, worried and frustrated. Do you like feeling that way? Stop it. Learn to appreciate the surprises that life offers. If you have to control something, control yourself. Be disciplined, empathetic, loving, and aggressive in your pursuit of happiness. Release your need to control the things that you actually can’t control. Your feeling of being in control is all an illusion anyway, so let it go.
NO WiFi no problem!

 Ask yourself this simple question: What if I stopped following societal directions and pressure and lived according to my passions, my values, and my world concerns? what if, instead of trying to get something on the out side to make me feel better on the inside, I actually listened to the clues in the inside about how to make my external World better?



5. Keep it in perspective and get over yourself.
Life can be challenging, and when things are the toughest, it is really easy to feel like our hardships are larger than life itself.  Once we give in to feeling sorry for ourselves, we focus on the things that we don’t have and we focus on the things that aren’t going well for us. In these times we should look up. Literally. The clouds are an indication of just how tiny our place in the world is.


There is war, poverty, sickness and so much negativity.  There are people that aren’t allowed to go to school. There are people that won’t eat dinner because they can’t afford food. There are people living in the street. There are people battling chronic diseases. Instead of obsessing over your life, exert kind thoughts toward the people that have bigger problems than you. Be happy with what you have. Focus on the positive things in your life. Use gratitude and thankfulness as tools to overcome your negative feelings. You are loved. You are well fed. You have a place to live. Let that be enough to recognize that your life is already great. You have a lot of reasons to be happy.

No desk no phones no negative thought  interrupting my vibe. 
 I've worked in offices for most of my career... this is how I felt I should have been spending my time being creative and productive..... enjoying the sound of the surf... it helps me think clearly. When I was a teenager and had not studying in advance for my examines  I would go to the beach and cram. Especially when I was trying to graduate from High school. I found it to work best for me... when I still need to concentrate I look out my window and focus on the sea in the distance ... It proves less  distracting... causing the best results. 

6. Vacation everyday. 
Are you living for the weekends? Are you waiting for the next time you can go on vacation? The reality is that there are more weekdays than weekends. Most of us will never have more than a few weeks of vacation every year, so why do we spend our precious time longing for time that comes infrequently?
Imagine a life in which you could vacation every day. What if you took advantage of the things in your city or town that you always plan to do?  Think of the coffee shops, nature trails, museums, parks and other places that you constantly say you are going to make time to go to, but you never do. Think of the friends and loved ones that you are planning to connect with, but you never do. There is so much around you waiting to be enjoyed, but instead of enjoying it, you are waiting for your vacation to have fun. Stop waiting to be happy. Don’t limit your enjoyment to certain days or certain locations. Stop missing out on the daily pleasures of life. Appreciate the small treasures surrounding you. Take advantage of what life has to offer and vacation every day. Live in the moment. Appreciate each day that you are given.
We all have a choice as to how we approach life, and today I encourage you to make the decision to choose happiness, even if it’s not the easiest choice.  What choice will you make?

Can I just sit here and see who will come to join me?
I would like to share a few quotes, that seem to be appropriate  for the minds that needs a vacation from day to day.: 

- “The future depends on what we do in the present.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

- “You have to start saying things that you feel really good about yourself. ‘I love who I am. I love life. Life loves me. It’s going to be smooth and easy. Life works for me.’ And you just start doing that—it’s planting seeds. You’re not going to get it the first day, but you plant a seed, and you water it, and you continue the affirmations, and things start to shift and change in your life.” ~ Louise Hay

- “Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” ~Louise L. Hay

- “What if deep down inside, you knew you were more amazing and magnificent than you thought you were?” ~ Roger James McDonald.

- “The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”
~ Bob Moawad

-“Aim for the moon, if you miss you may hit a star” ~W.Clement Stone.

-“A Creator is vision-focused and passion motivated. To really live into your Creator self, you are called to do the inner work necessary to find your own sense of purpose—whatever touches your heart and holds meaning for you.” ~ David Emerald 



7/02/2016

“Beloved, your heart chakra is completely blocked!”


Here are seven ways to open your love or heart Chakra:

1. Notice and enjoy love around you.
Whether you are single and happy, single and yearning, or coupled and mismatched, you can open up to more love. Begin to do this by noticing the love around you. When you see happy couples, instead of shooting daggers of jealousy and judgement, take a moment to enjoy their love.
Instead of participating in gossipy conversations about who left whom, talk about who is happy. Re-language your “men are dogs” diatribe to one of positive expectations. Notice positive expressions of love everywhere.
You are helping me  remember what LOVE is!

2. Activitate love with the power of vision.
If you only allow yourself to see what is already manifested, you are missing out. Life is a co-creation. Let your third eye Chakra help to activate your love Chakra by embracing the power of vision. Use your imagination and creative visualization to see the love your want already manifested. Feng Shui for love by creating physical space for the love you desire. Use “love vision boards” paint a picture of what love ideally looks like for you.

3. Count your love blessings.
Instead of counting all the ways you’ve been dogged out or how stressful dating can be, count your love blessings. Have an attitude of gratitude for the love you have rather than what you are lacking. What we focus on expands. Focus on lack and you will create more lack. Focus on the love of your family, friends, pets, etc.
Create a “love gratitude journal” just for noting daily expressions of love in your life. Gift yourself a piece of rose quartz, the crystal of unconditional love, every time you feel unconditionally loved.

4. Get your flirt on.
Flirting, enjoying yourself in the presence of another, is a beautiful and fun practice to open up your heart. Flirting is a divine feminine energy practice. Flirt with everyone from the supermarket checkout person to that cute guy who always smiles at you. Enjoy the feeling of desirability that the dance of flirtation welcomes into your life.

5. Go dancing. 
Shake it up, baby. Both partner dance and solo dance are great for opening you up to feelings of pleasure. Pleasure is considered to be the domain of the second Chakra but it is an essential part of opening up your heart Chakra. Fun sexy partner dance includes salsa and the tango. Sexy solo dance includes belly dancing and pole fitness. Dancing increases our capacity for being in the moment, an essential component of love. Find pleasure in your body, own your sexy, and revel in your beauty.

6. Receive, receive, receive.
Are you able to receive simple things, like a compliment? How we do anything is how we do everything. You cannot be loved if you do not first allow yourself to be loved. Learn how to receive good things without feeling the need to reciprocate. Many of us are champion givers but lacking in the receiving department. Our love lives reflect this. You can’t be both halves of the relationship, giver and receiver, at all times.
Activate your divine feminine energy by learning to receive. Instead of chasing love, welcome pursuit. That’s right. Position yourself to be pursued and receive, receive, receive.

7. Let it go. 
So they stomped on your heart and ate your feelings for breakfast. It happens to the best of us. Please don’t let negative past relationships steal your future. Heal the past and release it. This is the only way to move forward.
Move forward with your therapy of choice, personal ritual, sharing, self-compassion and journaling. Tears, movement, and voice are the perfect combination to release trapped emotions. You may choose to autopsy and symbolically bury your past relationships in the earth or ocean. You may also choose to try heart healing tools like aromatherapy, positive affirmations, Emotional Freedom Technique or the Un-break My Heart Chakra Self-Care Kit.

You deserve to be loved unconditionally for exactly who you are in this moment. Open your heart and embrace the energy of love.
~Abiola Abrams
Is this  Love or Attachment

OK now let me point out why somethings are  not going so well for you in relationships. 

Are You “In Love” or Just Attached? 

Knowing the Difference is very  Important.

Every one of us knows that certain person who jumps from relationship to relationship, and every time, they tell you, “I am in love."

As someone who has spent a good part of my adult life single after being married for a good number of years, I could never understand how someone could be “in love” with all those other people.

I assumed that it couldn’t be love because it was the fear of being alone. I mean, that’s not right. Right?
Well sort of. You can’t measure love with any real calculations. It’s something you just feel.

But what if your feeling isn’t right? What if you are just so afraid of being alone, or so tired of not feeling a connection (regardless of how brief), that anyone who gets close to making you feel safe feels like they are your soulmate?

You know those relationships in the past; the ones you look back on and say, “I can’t believe I told that person  ‘I love you’.” How could you have said those words to someone who isn’t your type, and who you wouldn’t ever want to been seen with again?

The answer is, that wasn’t love. That was attachment.

I am not a love guru and I have no way of telling you if what you’re feeling with your current partner is love, or just loneliness masked in body spray. But I can share some basic pointers. These are the kinds of pointers you would show your friend because, let’s be honest, you’d rather not attend a wedding where the only thing the bride can say about her soon-to-be husband is “he’s always there.” And if you’re unsure about your own relationship motives, take a look at the following list and see where you land on love and attachment.

Love Is Passionate. Attachment Is Apathetic.

When you are in love, there is a fire within you. It can be an inferno of rage, or a kindled sweetness, but there is always that fire. Only when you can say you truly feel something is when you can say it’s love.
I never realized  it would be this way..

Sponsored Links

When you are merely attached to another, you never really experience anything close to that fire. You have mild moments of irritation, anxiety, and a slew of other things, but nothing that resembles the blaze within from love.

Love = Selflessness. Attachment = Self-Centered-ness.

Real love is all about the other person. When you are in love, you want to place your partner’s needs above your own. Everything you do is for them and has a little part of you inside of it.

Attachment is all about you. You want someone there for you, want someone to support you, or want them to benefit you in some way. You aren’t looking out for them. You’re looking out for yourself.

Love Is Freedom. Attachment Is Possession.

Being in love is great because you don’t need to constantly be with your partner in order to feel affection, to understand how they feel, or to feel secure. You love them enough to trust the bond.

When you are going through attachment, you feel like the only time you are “okay” is when you are with them. You can’t stand to be apart and when you are apart, you are always wondering what they are doing and with whom.

Love Empowers Each Other. Attachment Takes Sides.


Let me write this down.. I have a second .....
because my baby is in great hands!
Feeling true love gives you wings to soar to new heights. It gives you renewed energy, and a sense of freedom. You share your dreams with your partner and listen to theirs with equal support.

When it is attachment, there is only a power struggle. You call the shots, and you make sure you are never left out. The only decision that matters, is yours.

Love Has No Time-Limits. Attachment Is Timed.

When you feel real love, that’s all there is. Time doesn’t matter. When you love someone, you will always love them, regardless of how things work out in the end.

But attachment doesn’t work that way. Attachment has a deadline -  an expiration date. Attachment isn’t real. Because neither one of you can grow in attachment, the beginning is already the end.

Being in a relationship is never easy 100% of the time. Things that matter take effort. True love is a beautiful and remarkable thing. But just because you haven’t found the real deal yet, doesn’t mean you won’t. Be patient and try to reevaluate yourself and your relationships. If you are in an attachment, let it pass so you can both be open to experiencing the wonder of real love.


Take a little time, but don't take too long to find out what LOVE IS. 




6/30/2016

What's on your bucket list, lets talk about taking trips together!

STOP before you go: reduce your stress level  through self-reflection.
When you're always on the go it's easy to forget to reflect and rejuvenate your mind. In turn, stress [piles up and burdens get bulkier, yet you keep piling on the commitments without even asking yourself: 

  • Am I working on things that are important to me?
  • Am I on the right path to my future destination?
  • Am I on the path to burnout? 
When your schedule becomes tighter and tighter, your mind is prone to becoming narrow. You tend to focus so intense on your to-do list that you forget about your healthy living. try a fast-acting relief, try slowing down 
~Lily Tomlin. 
Here are a few suggestions. 

One of the most memorable and exciting adventures you can take as a couple is a trip to a foreign destination. Beyond discovering culture, cuisine and the best attractions a location has to offer, taking a vacation with your lover is a quick way to test the waters in your relationship.
Hold my hand and don't let go!
Because let’s face it, there’s a great possibility that things could  go wrong. You may get lost, miss your flight, lose your luggage, or encounter some not-so-friendly locals. And it’s through these challenging experiences that you can learn about a person's, you are  with,  ability to solve problems and compromise. So, if you’re ready to put your relationship to the ‘travel test,’ here are a few trips of a lifetime for couples to consider:
Get up close and personal with the ‘Big Five’ on an African Safari: There is a variety of world class African safari’s in Kenya, Tanzania, and Uganda; to name a few, that will allow you to come face to face with the big five—lion, elephant, rhinoceros, leopard, and even a  buffalo. And for couples looking for the thrill of the chase, a walking safari allows you to experience the scenery while walking along the same paths of lions, giraffes, elephants, and more. A canoe safari; another great option for those on a quest for adventure, lets you sail through Africa’s majestic rivers and set up camp along various designated areas.

Just chill
Escape to paradise and sleep-in over water villas in the South Pacific Islands: Thrill-seeking couples looking for romance can check out Tahiti and the French Polynesia for exclusive resorts featuring over-the-water bungalows, surfing, diving, and more. While backpacking, couples can head to Fiji to get off the beaten path.
‘Eat, Pray, Love’ as a couple in Bali, Indonesia: The movie Eat, Pray, Love, featured this tropical paradise as a destination for soul-searchers and anyone looking to indulge in spiritual guidance, trans-formative culture, tranquility, and lush landscapes. And the Indonesian island famous for its beautiful views, offers a variety of small boutique hotels and large five-star resorts.
take a few step on the romantic side
I'm finally at that stage in my life when I might want to explore the city of love, Paris, France: Chances are you’re not surprised that the country famous for the Eiffel tower; the world’s most recognizable metallic structure, makes the cut for trips of a lifetime. With a delightful combination of romance and history, the city of love is perfect for couples looking to dine in charming restaurants, stroll along the River Seine, and tour some of the best museums in the world. Well she hs to special to make me do this!


Kaui, Hawaii is calling me!
Explore history and spectacular views in Kaui, Hawaii: 
Kaui, the fourth largest Hawaiian island, offers mountainous lush landscapes, oceanfront villages, triple waterfalls, and much more. Couples can take in the spectacular views via helicopter tour, backpack through Kalalau Trails, and take a scenic drive around this diverse tropical paradise. OK I will be repeating an experience here because I visited this Island the year my first born celebrated his first  year and took his first steps. That was  30 years ago. I would love to see if the island has changed much since then.

check out that view!
I might even like to get lost in the narrow alleyways of Santorini, Greece: From swimming in spectacular beaches and sailing in clear blue water, to discovering fascinating archaeological sites and villages, this magical Greek island provides a variety of activities for wandering couples.Greece will help you realize the difference between stopping to enjoy life and stagnating.




Cuba!
OK I must admit I never really thought about Cuba having much that would interest me in the past...until I saw these  classic convertibles cars. I'm adding it to my list without hesitation now.... to head to Cuba and be driven around in one these convertibles. by a good looking female taxi driver. Might be a "cafe con leche" moment. "con poco azĆŗcar" maybe some "lechon" with "moro arroz" a side order of " plĆ”tanos fritos" some "yuca"a  cerveza Polar... after the meal.. Wow. the real experience, after years of the copied version  in little Havana Miami Florida, it would be right on time....
Hmm! I can even smell the aroma already.



Maybe  it's time to stop wasting the years.... you can't hold on to the years that are already gone! 
                                               



6/27/2016

Take some Steps to Complete the Journey of Reinventing Yourself

Well this blog is pretty long because I had 25 things that I've had on my mind for some time now.....
Start by enhancing your image!
Personally I believe  this is my best feature! 
We all reach a point in our lives when we need to reinvent ourselves.Happened to me more than  10 years ago.  Whether it’s a personal, professional, or both, life sometimes doesn't go exactly as planned. We've all been there or will go through it at some point in our lives. You're not alone.
If you feel stuck or have recently lost everything, then now is the perfect time to reinvent yourself so that you can go on to live the life that you always dreamed of. And, here are some  ways that you can accomplish that.

1. Go back to square One.

Savor new strawberry moments
There’s a reason why you need to reinvent yourself. It could be personal, such as getting  your act together after a divorce, or professional career ends, i.e.like having to shutdown your business. That doesn't matter now. It’s time to start from the beginning and put the past behind you. Find yourself a new Love interest. One that is nothing like your past interest and experiences. Hmm but this can be a big challenge because you might continue attract what you like and what you liked in the past may just a be an energy that is so great that you can find a way to avoid it. 

2. Create a vision for your future and establish goals.

In the past you never let folks see the bottom your shoes......
..wow, times have changed!
After identifying what needs to be changed, it’s time to plan out the future that you want for yourself. What do you need to do to make this a reality? Do you need to move? Do you need to go back to school? Figure this out and establish the goals to achieve your vision.


3. Write a lists.

Start by writing down a life map and making a graphical representation of your passions and priorities. No matter the size of the goal, spend every morning writing down the reasonable things that you want to accomplish. These words that you have written can motivate you to turn those ideas into action. I do this and it helps.

4. Say ‘no!’

If you don’t want to do something, just say ‘no’ and be firm about it. This will give you the time to do what you want to do. 

5. Connect with people.

After I send out this email 
I will just unplug
Don’t connect with just anyone. Connect with the right people, at the right time. These should be individuals who inspire you and who you can learn from. With social media, you can connect with these people easily. But, don’t rule out doing some old fashioned networking. Attend conferences and industry events as well.





6. Find time to disconnect.

Alternately, you want to find time to unplug. Emails, texts, and social media notifications will distract you during your reinvention process. It may be hard to believe, but the world is not going to end if you don’t have a Facebook status update for a couple of days.

7. Show gratitude.

At least once a day jot down something that you’re grateful for. When you’re stuck or feeling low, revisit that note. Remember to show your gratitude to your nearest and dearest who support you through thick and thin.

8. Prioritize.

Try to dedicate at least one hour of each day in accomplishing your goals. Remember, knock out those most important tasks first so that you can focus on the smaller tasks that will also help you achieve you goal. And, don’t forget to use calendars. alarms, and apps to help you prioritize your tasks and keep you productive.

9. Be generous.

There are numerous ways that you can be generous. It could be donating to a charity. Volunteering at a soup kitchen. Sharing your expertise by writing informative articles. If you support others, they’ll support you.
think about who can help you!
10. Find a mentor.
Locate someone who can help guide through this journey. If you can’t find an actual, you can always turn to the words of wisdom that other’s have share in books, articles, or tweets.


11. Get rid of the stuff holding you back.

Do you have a shirt that doesn’t fit, but you hold onto because you like the style? How about that uncomfortable chair in your living room? The books collecting dust? Physical items can hold us back emotionally and physically since they either bring us down or just get in the way. Donate or throw away anything that’s holding you back from going forward.

12. Go shopping.

You definitely should not go out and max out your credit card. But, a new outfit can make you feel like a completely different person. For example, if you want to be taken more seriously as a professional, then go out and invest in a quality suit, new watch, or even a fresh haircut.

13. Read.

Don’t just read. Read a lot. It’s one of the best ways to develop your mind, imagination, creativity, and discover new things. 
Sleep in the nude for better health.
14. Take care of your health.
Eat a balanced diet. Exercise. Get 8 hours of sleep. You’ve heard of this before, but you’ll need to take care of your health in order to go through this transitional period. And, don’t forget to take care of your emotional and mental well-being as well. Whether it’s mediating or going to counseling, your entire being needs to to in tip-top shape.

15. Explore new opportunities.

Eat a new restaurant. Visit a foreign country. Learn a new skill. Getting out of your comfort will help you grow as a person, discover new markets, and even lead you to discovering your true calling.

16. Get creative.

Art is an original gift, a connection that changes the recipient, a human ability to make a difference. Art isn’t a painting or even a poem; it’s something that any of us can do. If you interact with others, you have the platform to create something new, something that changes everything. I call that art.
I've waited 5 years for this moment.

17. Be patient

Reinventing yourself takes time. In fact, it could take up to five years. Use this time to perfect your new skills or achieve your goals.

18. Savor silence.

Whether it’s taking time to meditate or just sitting still for a couple of hours doing nothing, finding some quiet time allows you to clear you read and re-evaluate your goals.

19. Seek inspiration.

What did you used to be passionate about? What inspires you? We sometimes lose track of that during the hustle and bustle of life. If you can’t remember, recall your childhood. What things were excited about? Once you’ve found your inspiration, take action. If you’ve always wanted to paint, then start painting.

20. Celebrate little things.

Celebration time . 
As I mentioned earlier, reinvention doesn’t occur overnight. It’s a lengthy process. That’s why it’s important to celebrate all of those little accomplishments.



21. Chose freedom.

Don’t listen to the naysayers who are planning your life for you - even if it’s your family. Do what you want to do. It’s your life. They might get a little disappointed at first, but ultimately they’ll have to respect your decision.

22. Listen and ask questions.

Thank you for lending me a listening ear
You’d be surprised at much you’ll learn if you actually stop and listen to people. Also don’t forget to follow-up with a question or two. Not only will learn something new, you’ll strengthen that relationship.

23. Turn weaknesses into strengths.

We all have weaknesses. Instead of using them to hold you back, turn them into a strength. For example, introverts may not be the life of the party. But, they’re excellent listeners. They could use that traits to their advantage when networking or learning new skills.

24. Panic every once in awhile is normal.

I have no idea what to do with myself for the next few hours 
This is a lengthy and trying process. It’s acceptable to freak out every now and then. If you need a day to decompress binge watching Netflix or goofing off with your friends, then do it. Just don’t make it a habit.

25. Revisit your vision.

Make the time either first thing in the morning or before you go to bed to revisit and reconnect with your vision. It’s easy to get off-track because of distractions or the trials that you face, so taking this time keeps you motivated to keep moving forward.

Once you find something to focus on  spend a little quality time doing it.....