Spice up your life a bit!

I've decided to get a little Personal. If we are going to live "life" to the fullest we may have to change a few things.  While we ponder when to begin it becomes too late to do. ” — Quintilian

Let's talk about DATING in the 21st Century !

Here is the first problem...... you may have to change your focus off of the ONE thing that cause most breakups these days, therefore don't make it  the primary criteria of qualifying the next person you meet.

If you find yourself widowed, divorced or you just broke up with someone who was not the right one to go the distance with and are considering reentering the dating pool, you may find that the deep end of the pool is full of new criteria for meeting someone new.  And you need a wireless internet connection for virtually all of the social media out there. The average age on Facebook is 40, over 40 is the largest growing groups, kids are running to other sites because their parents are now hogging the site..... Cool.

When you dated the old-fashioned way, in your earlier life, you met someone you liked at school or work or in the frozen food aisle of your grocery store (the cold air made you start looking for a warm smile.)  You then pursued them by calling them on the phone (if you were lucky enough to procure their phone number through a listing in what they used to call “a phone book”) and asked them on a date for the weekend.  Or you sat around and hoped they would call you.   If you were in a dry spell, advice from well- meaning family and friends might have included things like “get out there and meet people!”

Today dating is not about getting out to meet people, it is about staying home and meeting people.  Dating today consists of sitting at your desk on your laptop or on your hand held device and searching for a new love or at least a strong like.  You find people these days by joining a dating site, reading their profile or scoping out their Facebook page and checking out their pictures, following their tweets, chat room instance messaging and Skyping (now you can talk and look at them at the same time.)   So before you even send your first text, to the smiling face that caught your eye, you can actually check them out.

Today you never have to leave the comfort of your own home to become intimately and emotionally involved with someone new or renew an old friendship after years of not being in touch, they will also feel more comfortable saying things to you they would not say in person.

For many people, this is a relief.  Shopping for a new date online is as easy as shopping for new shoes.   There are hundreds of sites for dating; you can meet divorced people, widows, married people, single people who have never been married and your kind of people who just want to meet you.
Looking for Love Online: Safety First
The great thing about dating online is that you get to choose a potential partner using your own criteria for success, before you even talk on the phone, much less meet in person.  This is a great improvement from the old “meet someone in a bar” technique.  Back then, if you met someone in a restaurant, bar or in a social gathering (particularly one where alcohol is served) you had the potential to meet someone who you might actually be attracted to. And frankly, by the time you are attracted to someone in person, it is already too late. At that point, all your criteria goes out the window.  Is he/she married already?  Do they have a prison record?  Ten children?  Who cares!  You are already so into them that you are willing to walk away from all of your own weeding out criteria.

But if you are not so lucky you will be sitting at the bar when you hear "Last call before we close." 

This is not the case online. You can send the "person of choice" a msg.... at 2:00am.
If you are looking for someone online you get to punch in a whole list of demands prior to a real-life connection.  You get to choose how tall you want them to be, their age bracket, where they live, what they do for a living, how much money they make, whether they have kids or pets or if they like to collect used vacuum cleaners as a hobby.

If you are lucky enough to find someone on-line who fits all of your criteria, then you have a match...... maybe!  Only then do you meet in person and determine if there is anything physical about your attraction to each other.  Do you meet and wonder what they look like naked or wonder how fast you can drink your coffee and get out of Starbucks and still be home in time for Jeopardy?  If you are willing to miss Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune to drink coffee with this person, then you have a winner.  Here is someone who already meets your needs and you are hot for them.  This is a win/win or at least a good start.

If you are getting back into the dating game later in life, you have a choice, now. Take it slow or make your new full time job a search mission.  There are so many sites now to choose from, one only has to push a button to find the next love of your life or at least a good companion online. Try this one for example black people meet. It's also a fun way to see if your EX is out there looking, just like you are!