It does not have to be THAT difficult.

Today most people’s New Year's resolutions are about stopping smoking, drinking less alcohol, taking better control of one’s credit cards, and eating less. I think couples should make resolutions, that focus on improving and strengthening their relationship. Below are ten worth trying. You’d have to be a Saint to really stick to all of them (LOL;) shoot for three and see if your relationship doesn’t grow stronger. Then shoot for a few more....... Who knows you might just gain momentum and accomplish something you really didn't think was possible. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally in January and continued throughout the full year. Give yourself a realistic fighting chance to succeed.

• Greet Your significant other With A Cheerful "Good Morning" Is it too much to ask that you say this with a smile on your face, try working on being less grumpy before you've had your coffee.

• Give Him A Surprise! If your man carries a briefcase or  lunch to work, slip in a sweet surprise. It could be a Hershey's Kiss with a nice note sprayed with your favorite perfume. Guess who he will be thinking about from that moment on.
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• Or you can send a YouTube video like this one... A Romantic vocalist can set the mood, and you don't have to do as much work to get the message across...... (click on the video while you are reading the rest of the Blog) That's right it's a mood-setter.


• Text Your Honey An Affectionate Message During The Day. This lets them know you’re thinking about them fondly, and not just what you want them to pick up at the store on the way home. Let's face it you text your friends all the time, so text the person in your life a little more often. 

• Hug And Kiss More Often. Not just when sex is in the air (OK, this one is tough for us Fellas but we can do it if we try. Affection breeds affection, and that’s always a good thing.
• Praise More, Criticize Less. Go out of your way to say something nice about something your significant other does around the house. Say less about what they didn’t do, or the way you’d like them to do it.  NEWS FLASH: men love to be told they’ve done a good job.
• The average couple spends less than an hour together when they’re home unless they’re in bed. Once a week watch a movie together, play a board game, work in tandem on a project. Work to break the habit of him always falling asleep alone in front of the TV on the sofa while you’re  reading in bed.

• Fellas...... Give Flowers When It's Not A Birthday Or An Anniversary. Surprise, surprise. Not only do they make the house smell better and look more festive, but flowers are the symbol of appreciation. Everyone likes that.

• At a gathering or in front of friends, call your partner “arm candy,”  they will gets a big kick out of that.

• Really bury the hatchet (or hatchets.) What’s that old expression about not crying over spilled milk? What’s done is done. Let it go. Move forward. Move on.

• Plan An Unusual Vacation Together. Tick off one more item on that budget list. Never been to Europe or an African Jungle trip?  Skip that .....That's where everyone goes. Now’s the time to do something other couple don't do. Whatever you do, plan it together. And most importantly, resolve to get along on the trip! 

OK, I like waterfalls and there aren't any in St. Maarten, so I'll pick somewhere I've never been. I fell in Love with Kauai, better know as Fantasy Island mainly because of it's many water falls. I don't think I want to go back there, the flight is too long and I shared that experience with someone already. I also Climbed Dunns River falls in Jamaica...... don't care to do that again either....  Argentina and Brazil (Iguazu falls) might be another good possibility, When is the World Cup?
This is what I'm talking about do NEW things with that special someone that will enhance your relationship. It will be a Happier NEW YEAR.

This YEAR is coming to an End, who will YOU kickoff the New Year with?

What are your expectation when you go out on your First Date with someone?

Sometimes when you finally meet someone, the level of anticipation can be so overwhelming that you trip yourself up. It’s easy to see how this can happen, because first dates – at any age – can be traumatic. You’re spending an hour or more with a person you either don’t know very well, know at all, have known forever but not romantically, even someone you never laid eyes on except in a photograph until this very moment. And then there’s so much to consider things pop into your head.. causing major anxiety. What should you wear? How’s your hair?  Is he anything like "Denzel?" Is she as sexy as "Halle?" 

The biggest mistake most women and some men make about a first date is to assume that it’s going to turn into something meaningful. Unfortunately it is just a date..... Some people don't understand what that means because the Movies and TV make dating look like a Romantic interlude from the first glance. It takes so much out of you to even consider going on a date because you don't want the illusion of "Love at first sight" bubble to pop. Most of you LADIES can’t be bothered unless you anticipate the relationship has the potential to “go somewhere.”  Some women won’t even go on a date unless they believe it’s going to lead to marriage. You laugh, but I hear this all the time, especially from attractive, intelligent, divorced or never married folks, mostly 30-something women. What I’m suggesting is to consider that a first date is just that: a first date. A chance to talk to this person, size them up, decide if you want to go on another date with them. Or not. You don’t have to make it complicated unless you love complications.  

The second biggest mistake is to talk endlessly about things the man has no interest in, like your "ex."  Actually ( confession time,) if I go on a date and my date does not interest me after a few minutes of talking, I start talking about my former marriage. This is always a turn off so I use it to keep her from building up any false hopes. If the guy sitting across from you is very curious about any dirt and details you care to throw out about your ex, you should be wondering why he’s dating you in the first place.  Generally speaking, a better use of your conversational time is to sneakily and gently interrogate him about himself. Not about what a went wrong with his first wife (really, do you want to hear about that?), Try finding out about his likes and dislikes. You want to get a handle on his hobbies, his religion, what he’s passionate about. It’s not completely indiscreet to inquire about his lifestyle. It’s a way of finding out if he’s employed (or not) and a little about his income, his ambition, his dreams for the future. Let’s face it, your mother always told you it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one. Most of you would prefer the Rich. Even on a first date, it’s not bad to try to find out and see where you might fit.

The last mistake most women make on a first date is when to end it. Close it down when it’s going well...... Definitely leave while you’re still sober if your first date included wine or any other intoxicating beverage. Nothing is worse on a first date than tears or falling down or not being able to find one’s car keys. The end of a first date is also a time to extend a smidgen of intimacy. A handshake is flat out COLD. It means to me Goodbye I do not plan on seeing you again. If you like me enough, we can embrace with a peck on the cheek. If you really like me, it’s ok to end with a kiss. But that’s it. First dates that wind up in bed inevitably are disasters this is not the Movies, unless the chemistry is so electric and the bonding so immediate that the first date lasts an entire weekend. That said, there are a million mistakes you can make on a first date. 

Don’t let giving away your dignity be one of them. Many people describe intuition as "you know but you don't know how you know." It can provide information when you don't have access to immediate facts or when you want an additional level of insight. It communicates through emotions, body sensation, (like a gut feeling), pictures in your mind, words, hunches, instincts and dreams. 
You don't want to get your expectations up and be disappointed... I Have to agree with "Steve Harvey" on this one..... don't give away the cookie..... you have  lots of time..... Don't do something you will regret the next day!

It's time to Become Economic Queens instead of fashion Queens.

Women of Color have buying power in the Billions of Dollars, but on what is this wealth being spent? 

It's being squandered .....not invested..... Ladies, You can't build a future on what you're spending your hard earned money on, unless you start investing. Start planning this New year around savings and investments, instead of wasting your hard earned incomes. Learn more about investing: Turn Your $1,000 into $1,000,000 check out how to invest in things that can bring you a good return.

Afrocentric Women must cease and desist their ridiculous spending habits.  This insane spending of $60 MILLION every weekend on aesthetics  care, and $60 MILLION every weekend on entertainment,  is astounding to say the least!  It is not smart to spend an entire life shopping, partying, fronting and remaining completely broke.  If you’re wasting your money, please come to grips with the truth and understand that it is insane to continue doing it.  

Don't be a grown woman worth less than a $5 value meal on a fast food menu. Break the shackles that bind you and STOP being a slave to consumerism......  Stop living one paycheck away from total ruin.  Assume your position as Economic Queens in this 21st Century.  If you don't believe me look at what is happening with  TV ads, they are targeting you, You are the consumers they believe are most gullible. You are on their "persuade her to buy any and everything  while she is still employed." You better start thinking a little differently because look who is standing in the unemployment lines in greater numbers. Do you see the resemblance? Now picture what will happen if or when the companies you are working for right now start reorganizing, down sizing and out sourcing. Or even worse moving their operations over-seas.

The problem of excessive, wasteful spending has become a bad habit.  You are not fooling anyone by buying outside of your means.  You are making a lifelong mistake.  You have the power to save yourself.   Stop assuming debt on B.S. that does not appreciate in value… Start saving and making appreciable investments today.  You really don’t have anymore time or money to waste. Try thinking about your wasteful spending turning into tumble weave rolling down the street (that is your money being wasted)

If you take immediate, radical action, you can step into becoming Economic Queens, instead of being the laughing stock of the whole World. Chris Rock starred in a movie called "Good Hair," which give you an example that women in The Far East are selling their HAIR (which grows back) to you so that you can pretend to be who you are not.

What can you do instead?

Invest in some property, real estate prices are at an all time low!   Invest in the things that will provide you and your family with security.  Make investments that will extend beyond you to the generations that follow.

It is widely recognized that if Black women are to improve their lives and escape economic hardships, they need the appropriate skills to do so.  Women in many other countries are far less likely to own property and otherwise control assets–key tools to gaining economic security and higher earnings. It makes no sense being a young blessed talented woman, spending all your money on designer pocketbooks, while paying $1,000 rent for a studio apartment. International Center for Research on Women (2005) identified that Black women in America age 36-49 have a median accumulated wealth of only $5.00 (USD).  In comparison, white women age 36-49 have a median accumulated wealth of $42,600.00 (USD).  (According to a study released by Insight: Center for Community Economic Development).  The study goes on to detail the fact that beyond age 50, Black Women are BROKE…having a net-worth of less than five dollars! NO study in the Caribbean has been done but I would have to think that it isn't much different, because Caribbean Women emulate American and European women in their spending habits.

By owning your own homes and land, women directly gain from such benefits as owners, as well as having a secure place to live, they can leverage their possession and make other investments.

Research has found that individuals who own land generate much higher rural non-farm earnings from self-employment than people without land. Clear and simple you need to follow Oprah and OWN your future.

Women can use a house/condo or land as collateral for credit  to invest in a small business or other income-generating venture.

Asset control can also give women greater bargaining power within households and help protect against the risk of domestic issues i.e. it's your house, if he has a problem he can leave.... The law says that 'Possession is 9/10th of the Law.'  So OWN your own dwellings.

In the economic downturn of the past few years, Black women have been the hardest hit.  Coupled with the unfortunate truth that Black women head the majority of Black households, this impacts our entire population. Guess what when the company you work for currently start downsizing  you will be the first affected.   Black women you are hanging on by a thread in this economy you cannot continue the foolish practices of wasting money…of working day in and day out and having absolutely nothing to show for it, other than perhaps the latest cheap, knockoff fashions.

Devise a plan today that will propel you from being a $5 Net-worth Sistah to becoming a financially stable members of society.  Buy value property.  Land rarely ever depreciate in value.  When you OWN land, it is easier and cheaper to have a house built.  Land is one of the most inexpensive investments you can make in your lifetime, with benefits that will last for generations.  Buy property.  Purchasing a permanent place to secure a roof over your head is the wisest thing you can do with your money.

Create a goal and restructure your budget and your spending habits.  Eliminate the waste in your life.  The garbage material items Black women are notorious for buying will add absolutely NO VALUE to your life.  Make a plan and stick to it.  Don’t be swayed by the latest tech gadget or hairstyle.  Stay focused.

Throw a lifeline to yourself.  Save yourself from being fifty years and older and worth less than five dollars.  Have enough pride to do something sound and genuine for yourself.

You are Queens, Black woman; and you deserve so much more than flashy jewels and fly boots.   Take the steps today that will lead to self-employment, secure retirement, and much less stressful, pillar-to-post future.  Invest in land/property/real estate/companies-on-the-move, while you still have the time and available capital to do so.

Stop fronting like a Fashionista Queen and become an Economic Queen, start today.

Just picture your lives with a future of security,  you will be able to afford to splurge now and then because you have  savings and investments working for you. This is not a new concept ......Ladies. Start by read things like "Best Jobs for Women in 2012"

Women of other races are doing it.... So should you!