Guy Wisdom?????

 "Life is a cement trampoline." —Howard Nordberg
meaning you better create your own flexible situations.

It's a rare privilege to see somebody do something perfectly. Michael Jordan comes to mind. and  Tiger Woods before his issues with strippers. And then there's this guy who came to me for advise a few weeks ago, in my cousin's club  and screwed up his one and only chance to impress a lady . The only thing missing was a little piece of toilet paper trailing from the heel of his shoe as he made his way out the door.

This 'single rose' could have made the difference between success and failing the test.

First of all, he was late and made the Lady wait. That's all right in some case . People have stuff to do. But 35 minutes late? Strike 1. Second, he didn't apologize. I don't need face-on- the-carpet groveling, but a little "I'm really sorry" would've been nice, and smart. Still, all of that would have been forgiven had the guy not immediately worked the phrase, "When I was at the Universaty. . . " into his opening gambit. That kind of stuff hits a nerve with most females, and not because it's an attempt to impress her with a diploma; these jokers  never get it women are interested in you not some B.S  educational degree that you think will impress her. She really wasn't impressed..... no big surprise..

It occurred to me, as I watched this dude, that we men make many mistakes when we're trying to land a Dream girl. This guy made the error of showing off his BAD personality before displaying his good one, if that one indeed existed. But we all goof up. Even with the stakes so high and with tremendous motivation for success on every front, Love hunters make rudimentary blunders every day. Sometimes as a older wiser former player,  it just makes me want to put my head down on the table  and cry and say, "Hey, buddy? Here's what you just did to cut your own throat."

Here is a simple thing that blew it for this dude:

He did not know that bringing a woman flowers, really could  have saved him for being late.

So try to follow this chart  fellahs:

Red	Love, Beauty, Courage and Respect, Romantic Love, Congratulations, "I Love You", "Job Well Done", Sincere Love, Respect, Courage & Passion	Roses ON SALE Now!
Red (Dark)	Unconscious beauty
Red (Single)	"I Love You"
Deep Burgundy	Unconscious Beauty
White	Purity, Innocence, Silence, Secrecy, Reverence, Humility, Youthfulness, "I am worthy of you", Heavenly
White (Bridal)	Happy love
Pink	Appreciation, "Thank you", Grace, Perfect Happiness, Admiration, Gentleness, "Please Believe Me"
Dark Pink	Appreciation, Gratitude, "Thank You"
Light Pink	Admiration, Sympathy, Gentleness, Grace, Gladness, Joy, Sweetness
Yellow	Joy, Gladness, Friendship, Delight, Promise of a new beginning, Welcome Back, Remember Me, Jealousy, "I care"
Yellow with Red Tip	Friendship, Falling in Love
Orange	Desire, Enthusiasm
Red and White	Given together, these signify unity
Red and Yellow	Jovial and Happy Feelings
Peach	Appreciation, Closing the deal, Let's get together, Sincerity, Gratitude
Pale Peach	Modesty
Coral	Desire
Lavender	Love at first sight, Enchantment
Orange	Enthusiasm, Desire, Fascination
Black *	Death, Farewell
Blue *	The unattainable, the impossible
Single - any color	Simplicity, Gratitude
Red Rosebud	Symbolic of purity and loveliness
White Rosebud	Symbolic of girlhood
Thorn-less Rose	"Love at first sight"
Roses by the Numbers A single rose of any color depicts utmost devotion Two roses entwined together communicate "Marry me" Six Roses signify a need to be loved or cherished Eleven roses assure the recipient they are truly and deeply loved Thirteen roses indicate a secret admirer

If RED is her color never give her another color rose.

Learn how to make Her Fantasies Come Through

Most women aren't very good at asking for what they want, especially in the beginning of a relationship. And by "beginning," I mean anywhere from the first night to the first 2 years. For one thing, they're hopelessly romantic. They imagine that the right guy will instinctively grant them every sexual favor they've ever fantasized about, without them having to say anything. Ridiculous, sure, but its a girls dream.

Also—trust me here—they dread being perceived as high maintenance. They see how put out we guys are by the idea of phoning them once a day or escorting them to a cousin's wedding. So asking for 45 uninterrupted minutes of cunnilingus seems outrageous to ask simply because she knows we fellas hate to be timed when it comes to sex.

The good news is that they are fantasizing about sex. (Wow—they do, too?) And they will get around by  requesting their favors just as soon as they feel comfortable and confident enough. If your partner isn't there yet, let me give you an idea of what those favors might be—maybe you can coax them out of her. help her by saying repeat after me: "I wish you'd . . ." tell her to fill in the blank.

1.Fellas to capitalize on her fantasie always  Shower before bedtime.
Seeing you emerge from a steamy bathroom with droplets of water clinging to your biceps makes her want to dry you off . That includes all those  sensitive places—but only when you're Zestfully clean.or Irish Spring fresh.

2. Talk dirtier.
OK  much more dirtier than normal. Trot out a variety of nasty words one night, and if she grunt and moan in agreement, kick it up a notch. When she respond with total silence, dial it back down.(She no liking your choices of expressions)

3. Mow the lawn in jeans and no shirt so she can play desperate housewife from the window. ( woman love to watch a dude break a sweat doing work for them.)
Then when you comes inside and   smelling of fresh-cut grass, sweat, and pheromones, make love to her  on the dining-room table. Oooh wait, that part is my fantasy.... she might not go for that one.

4. Ask her  to perform yoga poses naked.
If she is athletic she has been preparing for it every week while bent over and staring through her  legs at the mirror on the yoga-studio wall. This is not a performance she'll volunteer for. She need a little encouragement, goading even, but she will give in. And trust me a fella  especially likes the views when she is  in a camel pose and standing bow.

5. Let her confess her latest sexual fantasy.
Like tell me what you did  with/to me in a dream. That will allow her  to maintain the illusion that it isn't something you used to do with an ex-hookup since it is her dream, or some idea you picked up from porn. she might not agree to reenact every thing she dreamed about , but telling  you about it will make her feel like your naughty little confidante, which is very hot. Bonus: It'll give her the courage to tell you more.. So just be her listing sounding board and let her fessup..

6. Read up on sex.(Yes fellas, reading is fundamental)
There are books on boinking that are worth the embarrassment of buying them. Like Ian Kerner's She Comes First, you will understand why  TGIF now means ---Tongue Goes In First--- for example. It's a guide to giving oral sex so well that your partner will insist on cooking you blueberry pancakes the next morning. Yes, you're an amazing lover already, but Kerner has a Ph.D. for a reason.

7. Ambush her in the shower and direct a strong stream of warm water precisely at the hot spots. Adjust your aim even as she  giggle and squirm around the tub. She's  done this by herself, plenty of times, but having you do it to her is way sexier and a hundred times more fun.

8. Allow her to Make the first  move the second you walk in the door.
Or while you're still in elevator or the hallway. She doesn't know what, if anything, happened between Benicio Del Toro and Scarlett Johansson in that elevator, but if Del Toro acted as if having sex with her right then and there was the only reason he was put on this planet, she will  feel that  she  should be obliged to try the same type of crazy fantasy. When a guy lusts after  woman  so urgently that he can't even wait the 90 seconds it takes to get to the bed, it makes her feel like a movie star.

9. Ask to take black-and-white photos of her naked.
She want you to, but she's not so cocky as to suggest that her body could be a work of art. That's why she need you to do it for her. Bring it up after you've had sex not before. Tell her that the curve of her hips needs to be immortalized. Then, one rainy Saturday night, produce a bottle of wine and a camera. close the drapes.


10.Treat sex like a buffet.Starting with appetizers.
Take breaks during intercourse to go back for appetizers. Too often, making out, manual stimulation, and  caressing get cast aside when the more serious stuff starts. But without generous amounts of all three from start to finish, the female orgasm is infinitely harder to achieve.
Don't ask me how I know all this stuff, this is just my BAD analysis from being a personal trainer for years....
and listing to women talk to me just because I'm a good listener.

And last but very important ask her if she has any costumes she would like you to evaluate...

Here is my all time favorite.

 

Should you share a Crib?

Are You ready for  Shacking Up?

Before moving in together, consider the pros and cons of living with your Partner, its not all dessert with frosting on top.

If you've never split rent with someone, chances are good you will: half of all women under 45 and men under 50 have lived with someone at some point in their lives. But studies have shown that living together before marriage can be tricky . Couples who share an address before exchanging rings have slightly higher odds of splitting up. So how do you know if the timing is right to start sharing a crib? Ask yourself these simple questions:

Are you willing to wait?
Unless you've already discussed when you want to get married , don't assume that moving in together will make picking out china patterns and sending out invitations happen any sooner. In fact, only 40 percent of couples got married after living together for five to seven years. So if marriage is on your agenda, talk about it ASAP. If you have questions bring them up? Beware. Intense anxiety about whether he or she will pop the question can signal underlying concerns about their commitment to you long term.


How's his/her income potential?
Though it can be one of those tough relationship conversations, the who-pays-for-what conversation needs to happen before you cosign a lease or buy a house together. Disclose your respective salaries and debts, then make a plan for divvying up the bills. news flash: ladies it is a HYB (Handle Your Business) 21st Century style. Try using the proportional system (for example, if the man earns 30 percent more than the woman, he pay 30 percent more of the rent) rather than trying to split everything down the middle. relationships are never 50/50, most are 60/40  or 70/30.

Are you ready to rumble? Keep your punches UP, above the belt!
Don't be afraid that the honeymoon phase will come to an end just because you start hammering out your differences. It will help you gain a deeper understanding of each other, and build a stronger relationship in the process. While some experts recommend keeping a track of what you are gratefull for, my advises is don't start tracking fights. Jot down when you and your partner fought over something important, never keep score on silly stuff. what you fought about, and the outcome is important to record. It can help you recognize patterns and identify serious issues. Keep in mind, that  these are learning tools, not ammunition for the next round.

Do your own thing?
You may discover that cohabitating actually results in less quality time than when you are dating. And when you do hit the couch together, there's nothing sexy about it (give me the remote). An easy fix   is to schedule romantic time from the very begining. I actually picked a date (28th of each month) to bring my wife a gift and take her to dinner before we got married.... This was an anniversary of when we met. We also got married on the 28th of June. So if you want to keep things fresh decide on a weekly date night or a monthly anniversary to do it up right before you start packing your boxes to move in together. . And don't be shy about trying new seduction techniques. Surprise him/her with breakfast in bed--wearing just an apron.


Do not call him or her your "Wife or husband" before you are really married.
Leave those titles alone until you have said "I do." Wifey and Hubby sound good but they give some a false sense of security that it is already a final commitment. and if the marriage never happens you look foolish.

Try using cute nicknames and code words, this may be the key to close bonding with your significant other.

Lovey-dovey language—even of your own creation —can be so corny it makes you want to puke sometimes. But this, I found might actually serve a good purpose: Cute nicknames and code words pave the way to a playful, resilient, and satisfying relationship with your significant other. One study on couples' insider language reported that the more goofy nicknames, made-up terms, and covert requests for sex a couple used, the higher their relationship satisfaction tended to be.

The quantity of sweet or silly nothings you utter on any given day may be even more important than the quality. Studies have found that couples who maintain a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative communications are far more likely to remain happy. Using nicknames and made-up language is an easy way to inject positive communication into everyday life. In fact, it's probably the single easiest thing you can do to keep your relationship going strong.

Whether it's baby talk or coded conversation ("It's getting chilly." Translation: "Let's leave now."), the overall message is: The two of you are tight. You are saying, symbolically, that you care enough about the other person and the relationship to develop your own way of speaking, (Hell you do it with your BGF and your boyz)You've got your own private World, your own mini culture. Keep doing it. Its yours and yours alone... Exclusive-crib-language.
The inside banter can also serve as a fast-forward button. Sometimes,after a rough day at work, you just want to come home, flop onto the couch, and pop open a bottle of something smooth and red. How great is it when your partner knows that "the usual" is code for "My imbecile boss just wasted six hours of my life with mindless busy work and I'm really in a mood right now"? Statement, sentiment, and your current mental state all rolled into two words—no need to relive the whole disastrous day blow by blow.

Cementing Memories
It's no coincidence that new couples give each other nicknames that are sugary and food-related. Cupcake. Honeybun.  Sweet is an unequivocally positive descriptor, You're comparing the other person with a treat—something special that you look forward to every time. As a relationship matures and trust builds, you may develop pet names that refer to a feature or personality trait of your partner

Every shared experience, opens doors for more nicknames and inside jokes, which become earmarks for your most meaningful memories. Whether he calls you Rodeo, after the horseback-riding trip you took on your first anniversary, or you call him Speed Racer, for the time he drove 90 mph to get you to the airport on time, the names are a way of tracking your romantic history. You have a word that signifies a time, a date, and a place, and it takes you back to that moment.

Of course, for a nickname to work, both parties have to be happy with it. If it annoys you when your man calls you Stinky in memory of your bad bout with a burger last fall, that's definitely not going to bring you any closer. "You're putting your trust in the other person to treat you in a safe and intimate way. "Tread carefully."

The One Must-Say Phrase
What if you or your woman would rather not utter  ridiculous nickname? Don't worry; you're not doomed. Worse yet, is a relationship in which "I love you" is hardly ever said. Still, couples should come up with as many catchphrases as they can stand. They don't have to be gooey and sweet—funny is fine. But one big red flag to watch for is if your partner stops calling you by your pet name. It's like calling a naughty kid by his full name. It sends the signal 'I'm not being intimate with you anymore.When that happens, it's time to figure out what in your relationship needs fixing.

Bottom line: Having a shared language can only help strengthen the connection you feel with your partner. So swallow your pride and bring on the Jelly filled glazed donut nickname. i.e. you are so sweet I think of you as my favorite dessert.

　

Good men get taken for granted, while the BAD-boys get noticed in a crowd.

I've heard this said all my life by women who say they want a 'good man' but seem only interested in the dude that behaves badly.... No wonder bad-boys star in the movies of your choice these days.. You can name them, their names roll of you tongue. The bad-er they behave in the movies the more interest in them---- staring in another movie. Why is that ? Movies shape societal behavior. We become what we see. We copy the attitudes that are projected on the big screen.... Bad-boy-rappers are now the actors who  get the most rolls. Pick any of the dudes in this picture chances are you will remember them for the Bad-boy roll they played in the movies.... the old expression 'Nice guys finish last' comes to mind here. Don't get me wrong I'm not hating I admire all these brothers. They are the dudes that get the job done. As a result they keep getting rolls and statistically are doing pretty well in an industry that we didn't use to get staring rolls.  So when do the nice guys get a shot at relevance, don't hold your breath it will probably take a long while. Players play rolls, good guys stick to being themselves and seldom act like jerks. So that's a good thing? This is why  they are "boring."
Here is where I make my case: Denzel Washington (my brother from another Mother) got the Acadamy Ward for playing the Roll of a BAD a$$ cop, not for the roll where he played the father willing to give up his own life so that his son with a failing heart could live in "John  Q."
Its old news that we want what we can't have, this why bad-boys are Kings.
So here are a few exercises in:  Dating the dude you think you can't have, but you so want him.

#1. A Friend's Ex

Resist the urge. Date this dude at your own risk

Why you want him: Your BGF has extolled his virtues so relentlessly, he's become the dude of your dreams, too. She's basically given you a sales pitch. So why is he----- her Ex.

What to consider: If the separation wasn't mutual, be aware, this can be a two for one deal, you loose you friend and your new man almost at the same time. Read  The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating. by Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D.

What to do: If you must act, stay away until he has moved on to another love interest. There's a psychological threshold that's crossed when a person takes up a new relationship.Plus, you don't want to look like a scavenger.

#2. A Friend's Sibling

  Proceed  with caution. Tread carefully while pursuing this guy.

Why you want him: he has your best friend's personality and Dwayne Johnson (the Rock)body, and he already knows your name. You've crossed the toughest boundary in dating.

What to consider: If the relationship sours, don't expect your friend to back you up. Chances are, she'll protect her brother. You'll also lose a sounding board for relationship troubles.

What to do: Say this: "How would you feel if I said I was interested in your brother?" not "Girl, Dwayne is smoking hot. Can I date him?" Ultimately, you want to give your BGF a chance to express herself, not deliver a thumbs-up or thumbs-down vote.


#3.A Close Friend (buddies for years)

Go ahead make your move. These relationships boast a strong base.
Why you want him: He has the potential to be everything you need: the friend, the playmate, and the lover.

What to consider: If you've been a confidant for him most lurid dating stories, chances are he's not open to an upgrade. But if, after hanging out, he starts referring to the two of you as "us," you're in.

What to do: Choose your words wisely. I've always loved you could cheapen the friendship. Women often feel betrayed if they find out a guy has been sexually interested all along, man aren't always flattered by it either. Tell him he's great and ratchet up the intimacy a bit. It's better to let it happen naturally than to deliver a stump speech.

#4. A Coworker

Go ahead make your move. These relationships boast a strong base.

Why you want him: The workplace is a trove of attractive, like-minded people our own age who dress nicely. It's deep intimacy with rigid barriers. That's a recipe for romantic love.

What to consider: Nothing kills a meeting—and your reputation—faster than puppy-dog eyes across a conference table. Couples always think other people don't know, but they always do. The obvious pitfall: You split and loathe each other, all under the eyes of the office gossips.

What to do: You can have an office romance, as long as you keep the office and the romance separate. You need to prove to your boss that your relationship status won't change the work environment. You want to start by giving a reassuring heads-up to your supervisor once you're exclusive this could help reinforce your professional image. If a breakup comes, go ahead and have the screaming fight not in the office, but then settle how you'll deal in the office. Your jobs may depend on it.

#5. Your Boss

Resist the urge. Date these powerful men at your own risk.

Why you want him: He's great at telling you what to do. How might that boardroom attitude transfer to the bedroom? Another aphrodisiac:This relationship requires secrecy. That's sexy. At least until it becomes annoying.

What to consider: Remember how that one ex-girlfriend of his set his clothes on fire? The memory is still fresh in his mind? Now imagine dumping your boss, who will be doing your performance appraisal soon . Also, once coworkers get wind of the situation, they'll assume you're receiving unfair attention. Which you are.

What to do: Nothing. Simmering tension can work in your favor forever, if you leave it at that. If a relationship takes hold, you have another decision to make: Is the job or the relationship more replaceable? One way it can work: in sprawling workplaces with several supervisors. There's less opportunity for overlap between your personal and professional lives.

#6. An Ex's Friend

Resist the urge. Date these dude at your own risk.

Why you want him: He's the Long Island iced tea of dating: a bunch of bad stuff mixed together that makes you feel good until the brutal hangover sets in. Even worse: You've just upped your creep quotient exponentially

***Note: I did not say What to consider... or What to do here because he's an EX's friend.. hint hint


#7.  Your Own Ex


Resist the urge. Why Date this person you already had a relationship with.

Why you want him: He's like mac and cheese. "It's all about comfort dating. You're hungry—for sex, for companionship—and he might be, too. Clear and Simple you've done each other before.




**Note: I did not say What to do here. Because you already know what will happen if you do this.

Is she the ONE? A few questions you should ask before deciding

The only time you don't need to wonder what she is thinking  is when she is asleep!

So you've snagged a few dates with the lovely lady you met at your boy's weekend get-together. You've spent some time with her bantering loosely about the usual stuff—restaurants, television shows, her Pinterest page or Facebook comments daily—and now it's time to start finding out what really makes this woman tick. Why waste time with the usual conversational about pink slime? Lets dig deep, and get to what she is all about!

The trick is to tap the same tools psychologists use to gauge personality. Some shrinks shoot for a roster of telltale traits called the Big Five—extroversion, openness to new experience, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism. Those traits often become problematic at their extreme ends—when introversion, for example, becomes detachment, some experts believe you can scoot by with fewer levels of inquiry. Traits give you the broad strokes. Instead, zero in on her motivations and try to discover how she sees her life's narrative.

Explore these  nine threads you can drop in here and there to either skim the surface of her psyche or go in deep. Bonus: They can work at any stage of a relationship. After all, you never want to stop learning things about the woman you're with, right?
And if you're interested in receiving more helpful relationship advice, sign up for The Girl Next Door newsletter.

TELL-ALL QUESTION #1

Want to dance on top of this bar with my friend Starlady?

Okay, that's a bit off the wall. Maybe you can just ask her straight out: "Do you like this place?" As traits go, extroversion is hard to miss: a big smile, an easy posture, and lots of eye contact all signal an outgoing personality. But if the telltale signs are fuzzy, this question can help you figure out if she's a wallflower or a party animal,says Bernardo Carducci, Ph.D.(I like this guy ), of Indiana University Southeast's Shyness Research Institute. If she's an introvert but you sense that she wants to change that, plan dates that allow for mingling with strangers,  such as a wine tasting or a cooking class. "If she's on the shy side, she'll be more likely to come out of her shell if you take the plunge and engage others first.

TELL-ALL QUESTION #2

How about some poison fish?

Dinner is a great opportunity to gauge her openness to new experiences. Hit her up with "Like to share the fugu sashimi (blowfish)? Apparently it's deadly if not properly prepared!" If the idea of such novelty has her scanning for the exit, you won't be bringing her along on a white water river  rapids trip. Still, you don't have to turn your outing into a Fear Factor audition just to find out if she's adventurous. Ask her which movies, music, books, and art she likes. The real tell is variety.Twenty books on 20 subjects suggest more openness than 200 books on one or two subjects. If she doesn't seem adventurous, boost the PDA factor, suggest dating mavens Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, of EMandLO.com. A kiss on the sidewalk, a sly butt-pinch in the store—these encourage adventurousness. (And to determine what her actions say about her personality, learn how to Read Her Body Language.)

TELL-ALL QUESTION #3

Want to move to Biloxi, Miss. with me? Today?!?

Don't let her hotness blind you from facing facts if she's a hot mess. "In context, ask her how she's made important life decisions, such as accepting a job or making a move, flaky approach to life." If she's thoughtful and reflective,  chances are she's high in conscientiousness—a trait that suggests she won't be flaky with you. Or ask her advice on dealing with a coworker of yours whose work has become sloppy. You'll see the standards she holds herself to. Walk through possible scenarios using you computer and watch how she reacts.

TELL-ALL QUESTION #4

Any ex-boyfriends you'd like me to ice?

If you have an opportunity to ask about her relationships with old friends, former mates, or family members, jump on it. Her answers could provide a valuable window into her agreeableness. People who score highly in this area tend to be forgiving of the wrongs they've suffered, lenient in their judgment of others, and willing to compromise. If mentions of exes are slathered with acrimonious sentiment, it could be a sign that she holds a grudge or lacks much empathy. You really don't need that. (And speaking of extra baggage, declutter your life by tossing the 26 Things You Just Don't Need Anymore.)

TELL-ALL QUESTION #5

Here's $1 million. Would you quit your job?

If you ask her if she likes her job and end up listening to a dour monologue about why her 9-to-5 sucks, she might be a bit neurotic. People high in neuroticism often have turmoil in their lives. They tend to be more unhappy, and so are their partners. Also, take note of her usage of the word "I," which can be a red flag if it's excessive,  When people are anxious, they look inward.People who are low in neuroticism are not paying attention to self. They're looking outward, focusing on the environment or other people. To see if she can change tracks, try a gentle nudge, is she capable of shifting gears, she'll take the hint and possibly even acknowledge being so wrapped up in her worries.

TELL-ALL QUESTION #6

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

You're digging deeper now, learning about her personal ambitions—what she's passionate about. You want to see if she's striving to accomplish things over time and can express herself through strategies, plans, and values,  This is where you really start to know her. What her passion actually is can be a valuable bit of intel, giving you insight into how she views the world. If she looks at you blankly, what you infer may be just as valuable.

TELL-ALL QUESTION #7

How would you launch your dream career?

Is she a procrastinator? A daydreamer? A go-getter? How she sets her career goals and charts a course to realizing them can also indicate how she achieves goals in other areas of her life, including her relationships. Ann Demarais, Ph.D., founder of the consulting firm First Impressions, says you can build up a picture by noting the specific goals themselves. "Say she wants to write a novel," she says. "She's telling you that she's creative and interested in people's motivations and that she has something to say about the world. If she wants to start a business, that desire could signal independence, drive, perhaps a capacity for taking on risk and shouldering responsibility."

TELL-ALL QUESTION #8

What was the most significant turning point you've experienced personally?

For years McAdams has been learning about people by asking them to tell him their life stories. They share the highs, lows, and turning points and establish overarching themes. "We're all autobiographical authors," he says. "We make our lives into stories that we then tell ourselves to give our lives meaning or purpose." If she says she loved growing up in a small town but yearned to live in a major city, she's creating a narrative that lets you know how her past, present, and future are connected. Eye-opening, isn't it? Maybe you should ask yourself the same question. (But if you feel like your life is lacking a major milestone, make sure you read Why You Should Set Higher Goals.)

TELL-ALL QUESTION #9 

What hurdles have you overcome in life?

The way people explain events says a lot about them, Is she always the victim? Does someone or something always spoil her plans? If she regularly attributes misfortune to events beyond her control, you might be hanging with a narcissist, On the other hand, blaming herself for every problem could be a sign of poor self-image, Research suggests that people who are frequently down on themselves are often down on their partners too. Worried you're with a narcissist? Ask her if there's a choice she regrets. A resilient woman can talk about her mistakes. A narcissist will dodge the question by placing blame again. If you think she's esteem-challenged, try a little cheerleading: Sounds like you did the best you could under the circumstances. If she can be kind to herself at all, she'll accept your support and drop the self-recriminations.

I will add #10,  if I decide later that I forgot a crucial question. 
But I guess I will watch this movie  speed dating first