I've heard this said all my life by women who say they want a 'good man' but seem only interested in the dude that behaves badly.... No wonder bad-boys star in the movies of your choice these days.. You can name them, their names roll of you tongue. The bad-er they behave in the movies the more interest in them---- staring in another movie. Why is that ? Movies shape societal behavior. We become what we see. We copy the attitudes that are projected on the big screen.... Bad-boy-rappers are now the actors who get the most rolls. Pick any of the dudes in this picture chances are you will remember them for the Bad-boy roll they played in the movies.... the old expression 'Nice guys finish last' comes to mind here. Don't get me wrong I'm not hating I admire all these brothers. They are the dudes that get the job done. As a result they keep getting rolls and statistically are doing pretty well in an industry that we didn't use to get staring rolls. So when do the nice guys get a shot at relevance, don't hold your breath it will probably take a long while. Players play rolls, good guys stick to being themselves and seldom act like jerks. So that's a good thing? This is why they are "boring."Here is where I make my case: Denzel Washington (my brother from another Mother) got the Acadamy Ward for playing the Roll of a BAD a$$ cop, not for the roll where he played the father willing to give up his own life so that his son with a failing heart could live in "John Q."
Its old news that we want what we can't have, this why bad-boys are Kings.
So here are a few exercises in: Dating the dude you think you can't have, but you so want him.
#1. A Friend's Ex
Resist the urge. Date this dude at your own risk
Why you want him: Your BGF has extolled his virtues so relentlessly, he's become the dude of your dreams, too. She's basically given you a sales pitch. So why is he----- her Ex.
What to consider: If the separation wasn't mutual, be aware, this can be a two for one deal, you loose you friend and your new man almost at the same time. Read The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating. by Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D.
What to do: If you must act, stay away until he has moved on to another love interest. There's a psychological threshold that's crossed when a person takes up a new relationship.Plus, you don't want to look like a scavenger.
#2. A Friend's Sibling
Proceed with caution. Tread carefully while pursuing this guy.
Why you want him: he has your best friend's personality and Dwayne Johnson (the Rock)body, and he already knows your name. You've crossed the toughest boundary in dating.
What to consider: If the relationship sours, don't expect your friend to back you up. Chances are, she'll protect her brother. You'll also lose a sounding board for relationship troubles.
What to do: Say this: "How would you feel if I said I was interested in your brother?" not "Girl, Dwayne is smoking hot. Can I date him?" Ultimately, you want to give your BGF a chance to express herself, not deliver a thumbs-up or thumbs-down vote.
#3.A Close Friend (buddies for years)
Go ahead make your move. These relationships boast a strong base.
Why you want him: He has the potential to be everything you need: the friend, the playmate, and the lover.
What to consider: If you've been a confidant for him most lurid dating stories, chances are he's not open to an upgrade. But if, after hanging out, he starts referring to the two of you as "us," you're in.
What to do: Choose your words wisely. I've always loved you could cheapen the friendship. Women often feel betrayed if they find out a guy has been sexually interested all along, man aren't always flattered by it either. Tell him he's great and ratchet up the intimacy a bit. It's better to let it happen naturally than to deliver a stump speech.
#4. A Coworker
Go ahead make your move. These relationships boast a strong base.
Why you want him: The workplace is a trove of attractive, like-minded people our own age who dress nicely. It's deep intimacy with rigid barriers. That's a recipe for romantic love.
What to consider: Nothing kills a meeting—and your reputation—faster than puppy-dog eyes across a conference table. Couples always think other people don't know, but they always do. The obvious pitfall: You split and loathe each other, all under the eyes of the office gossips.
What to do: You can have an office romance, as long as you keep the office and the romance separate. You need to prove to your boss that your relationship status won't change the work environment. You want to start by giving a reassuring heads-up to your supervisor once you're exclusive this could help reinforce your professional image. If a breakup comes, go ahead and have the screaming fight not in the office, but then settle how you'll deal in the office. Your jobs may depend on it.
#5. Your Boss
Resist the urge. Date these powerful men at your own risk.
Why you want him: He's great at telling you what to do. How might that boardroom attitude transfer to the bedroom? Another aphrodisiac:This relationship requires secrecy. That's sexy. At least until it becomes annoying.
What to consider: Remember how that one ex-girlfriend of his set his clothes on fire? The memory is still fresh in his mind? Now imagine dumping your boss, who will be doing your performance appraisal soon . Also, once coworkers get wind of the situation, they'll assume you're receiving unfair attention. Which you are.
What to do: Nothing. Simmering tension can work in your favor forever, if you leave it at that. If a relationship takes hold, you have another decision to make: Is the job or the relationship more replaceable? One way it can work: in sprawling workplaces with several supervisors. There's less opportunity for overlap between your personal and professional lives.
#6. An Ex's Friend
Resist the urge. Date these dude at your own risk.
Why you want him: He's the Long Island iced tea of dating: a bunch of bad stuff mixed together that makes you feel good until the brutal hangover sets in. Even worse: You've just upped your creep quotient exponentially
***Note: I did not say What to consider... or What to do here because he's an EX's friend.. hint hint
#7. Your Own Ex
Resist the urge. Why Date this person you already had a relationship with.
Why you want him: He's like mac and cheese. "It's all about comfort dating. You're hungry—for sex, for companionship—and he might be, too. Clear and Simple you've done each other before.
**Note: I did not say What to do here. Because you already know what will happen if you do this.
Why you want him: Your BGF has extolled his virtues so relentlessly, he's become the dude of your dreams, too. She's basically given you a sales pitch. So why is he----- her Ex.
What to consider: If the separation wasn't mutual, be aware, this can be a two for one deal, you loose you friend and your new man almost at the same time. Read The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating. by Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D.
What to do: If you must act, stay away until he has moved on to another love interest. There's a psychological threshold that's crossed when a person takes up a new relationship.Plus, you don't want to look like a scavenger.
#2. A Friend's Sibling
Why you want him: he has your best friend's personality and Dwayne Johnson (the Rock)body, and he already knows your name. You've crossed the toughest boundary in dating.
What to consider: If the relationship sours, don't expect your friend to back you up. Chances are, she'll protect her brother. You'll also lose a sounding board for relationship troubles.
What to do: Say this: "How would you feel if I said I was interested in your brother?" not "Girl, Dwayne is smoking hot. Can I date him?" Ultimately, you want to give your BGF a chance to express herself, not deliver a thumbs-up or thumbs-down vote.
#3.A Close Friend (buddies for years)
Why you want him: He has the potential to be everything you need: the friend, the playmate, and the lover.
What to consider: If you've been a confidant for him most lurid dating stories, chances are he's not open to an upgrade. But if, after hanging out, he starts referring to the two of you as "us," you're in.
What to do: Choose your words wisely. I've always loved you could cheapen the friendship. Women often feel betrayed if they find out a guy has been sexually interested all along, man aren't always flattered by it either. Tell him he's great and ratchet up the intimacy a bit. It's better to let it happen naturally than to deliver a stump speech.
#4. A Coworker
Go ahead make your move. These relationships boast a strong base.
Why you want him: The workplace is a trove of attractive, like-minded people our own age who dress nicely. It's deep intimacy with rigid barriers. That's a recipe for romantic love.
What to consider: Nothing kills a meeting—and your reputation—faster than puppy-dog eyes across a conference table. Couples always think other people don't know, but they always do. The obvious pitfall: You split and loathe each other, all under the eyes of the office gossips.
What to do: You can have an office romance, as long as you keep the office and the romance separate. You need to prove to your boss that your relationship status won't change the work environment. You want to start by giving a reassuring heads-up to your supervisor once you're exclusive this could help reinforce your professional image. If a breakup comes, go ahead and have the screaming fight not in the office, but then settle how you'll deal in the office. Your jobs may depend on it.
#5. Your Boss
Resist the urge. Date these powerful men at your own risk.
Why you want him: He's great at telling you what to do. How might that boardroom attitude transfer to the bedroom? Another aphrodisiac:This relationship requires secrecy. That's sexy. At least until it becomes annoying.
What to consider: Remember how that one ex-girlfriend of his set his clothes on fire? The memory is still fresh in his mind? Now imagine dumping your boss, who will be doing your performance appraisal soon . Also, once coworkers get wind of the situation, they'll assume you're receiving unfair attention. Which you are.
What to do: Nothing. Simmering tension can work in your favor forever, if you leave it at that. If a relationship takes hold, you have another decision to make: Is the job or the relationship more replaceable? One way it can work: in sprawling workplaces with several supervisors. There's less opportunity for overlap between your personal and professional lives.
#6. An Ex's Friend
Why you want him: He's the Long Island iced tea of dating: a bunch of bad stuff mixed together that makes you feel good until the brutal hangover sets in. Even worse: You've just upped your creep quotient exponentially
***Note: I did not say What to consider... or What to do here because he's an EX's friend.. hint hint
#7. Your Own Ex
Resist the urge. Why Date this person you already had a relationship with.
Why you want him: He's like mac and cheese. "It's all about comfort dating. You're hungry—for sex, for companionship—and he might be, too. Clear and Simple you've done each other before.
**Note: I did not say What to do here. Because you already know what will happen if you do this.
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