Should you share a Crib?

Are You ready for  Shacking Up?

Before moving in together, consider the pros and cons of living with your Partner, its not all dessert with frosting on top.

If you've never split rent with someone, chances are good you will: half of all women under 45 and men under 50 have lived with someone at some point in their lives. But studies have shown that living together before marriage can be tricky . Couples who share an address before exchanging rings have slightly higher odds of splitting up. So how do you know if the timing is right to start sharing a crib? Ask yourself these simple questions:

Are you willing to wait?
Unless you've already discussed when you want to get married , don't assume that moving in together will make picking out china patterns and sending out invitations happen any sooner. In fact, only 40 percent of couples got married after living together for five to seven years. So if marriage is on your agenda, talk about it ASAP. If you have questions bring them up? Beware. Intense anxiety about whether he or she will pop the question can signal underlying concerns about their commitment to you long term.


How's his/her income potential?
Though it can be one of those tough relationship conversations, the who-pays-for-what conversation needs to happen before you cosign a lease or buy a house together. Disclose your respective salaries and debts, then make a plan for divvying up the bills. news flash: ladies it is a HYB (Handle Your Business) 21st Century style. Try using the proportional system (for example, if the man earns 30 percent more than the woman, he pay 30 percent more of the rent) rather than trying to split everything down the middle. relationships are never 50/50, most are 60/40  or 70/30.

Are you ready to rumble? Keep your punches UP, above the belt!
Don't be afraid that the honeymoon phase will come to an end just because you start hammering out your differences. It will help you gain a deeper understanding of each other, and build a stronger relationship in the process. While some experts recommend keeping a track of what you are gratefull for, my advises is don't start tracking fights. Jot down when you and your partner fought over something important, never keep score on silly stuff. what you fought about, and the outcome is important to record. It can help you recognize patterns and identify serious issues. Keep in mind, that  these are learning tools, not ammunition for the next round.

Do your own thing?
You may discover that cohabitating actually results in less quality time than when you are dating. And when you do hit the couch together, there's nothing sexy about it (give me the remote). An easy fix   is to schedule romantic time from the very begining. I actually picked a date (28th of each month) to bring my wife a gift and take her to dinner before we got married.... This was an anniversary of when we met. We also got married on the 28th of June. So if you want to keep things fresh decide on a weekly date night or a monthly anniversary to do it up right before you start packing your boxes to move in together. . And don't be shy about trying new seduction techniques. Surprise him/her with breakfast in bed--wearing just an apron.


Do not call him or her your "Wife or husband" before you are really married.
Leave those titles alone until you have said "I do." Wifey and Hubby sound good but they give some a false sense of security that it is already a final commitment. and if the marriage never happens you look foolish.

Try using cute nicknames and code words, this may be the key to close bonding with your significant other.

Lovey-dovey language—even of your own creation —can be so corny it makes you want to puke sometimes. But this, I found might actually serve a good purpose: Cute nicknames and code words pave the way to a playful, resilient, and satisfying relationship with your significant other. One study on couples' insider language reported that the more goofy nicknames, made-up terms, and covert requests for sex a couple used, the higher their relationship satisfaction tended to be.

The quantity of sweet or silly nothings you utter on any given day may be even more important than the quality. Studies have found that couples who maintain a five-to-one ratio of positive to negative communications are far more likely to remain happy. Using nicknames and made-up language is an easy way to inject positive communication into everyday life. In fact, it's probably the single easiest thing you can do to keep your relationship going strong.

Whether it's baby talk or coded conversation ("It's getting chilly." Translation: "Let's leave now."), the overall message is: The two of you are tight. You are saying, symbolically, that you care enough about the other person and the relationship to develop your own way of speaking, (Hell you do it with your BGF and your boyz)You've got your own private World, your own mini culture. Keep doing it. Its yours and yours alone... Exclusive-crib-language.
The inside banter can also serve as a fast-forward button. Sometimes,after a rough day at work, you just want to come home, flop onto the couch, and pop open a bottle of something smooth and red. How great is it when your partner knows that "the usual" is code for "My imbecile boss just wasted six hours of my life with mindless busy work and I'm really in a mood right now"? Statement, sentiment, and your current mental state all rolled into two words—no need to relive the whole disastrous day blow by blow.

Cementing Memories
It's no coincidence that new couples give each other nicknames that are sugary and food-related. Cupcake. Honeybun.  Sweet is an unequivocally positive descriptor, You're comparing the other person with a treat—something special that you look forward to every time. As a relationship matures and trust builds, you may develop pet names that refer to a feature or personality trait of your partner

Every shared experience, opens doors for more nicknames and inside jokes, which become earmarks for your most meaningful memories. Whether he calls you Rodeo, after the horseback-riding trip you took on your first anniversary, or you call him Speed Racer, for the time he drove 90 mph to get you to the airport on time, the names are a way of tracking your romantic history. You have a word that signifies a time, a date, and a place, and it takes you back to that moment.

Of course, for a nickname to work, both parties have to be happy with it. If it annoys you when your man calls you Stinky in memory of your bad bout with a burger last fall, that's definitely not going to bring you any closer. "You're putting your trust in the other person to treat you in a safe and intimate way. "Tread carefully."

The One Must-Say Phrase
What if you or your woman would rather not utter  ridiculous nickname? Don't worry; you're not doomed. Worse yet, is a relationship in which "I love you" is hardly ever said. Still, couples should come up with as many catchphrases as they can stand. They don't have to be gooey and sweet—funny is fine. But one big red flag to watch for is if your partner stops calling you by your pet name. It's like calling a naughty kid by his full name. It sends the signal 'I'm not being intimate with you anymore.When that happens, it's time to figure out what in your relationship needs fixing.

Bottom line: Having a shared language can only help strengthen the connection you feel with your partner. So swallow your pride and bring on the Jelly filled glazed donut nickname. i.e. you are so sweet I think of you as my favorite dessert.