Are you better at whatever than the opposite sex?

Really, are you better?
Probably not—unless you really believe the old stereotype.

In a new study  researchers asked 80 men and women to complete a computerized navigation task, but told only half of the participants that their performance on the task would be used to evaluate gender differences. It turns out those men ended up reaching their destination several seconds faster than the guys who weren’t told anything.

That’s because the subtle reminder triggered whatever prejudices the men may have held about their navigation abilities compared to women—i.e., thinking they were supposed to be better drivers.
However if she spanks you at a 5 - 0 in a game of 9 ball then your bragging days are history.

Being aware of a stereotype that makes your group is superior to another group gives you a boost,. Why? Some  search has found that sexist stereotypes actually cause the male  body to produce more testosterone, which can increase competitive drive and physical performance.

The phenomenon is called the stereotype lift, but there’s a downside, too. “Stereotype threat” is when you believe you’re destined to fail because of some kind of perceived bias, like when talented people choke in high-pressure situations. So you go out and run alone on the beach by yourself to make you feel better.


While you don’t need to re-watch Mad Men  to brush up on Roger Sterling’s outdated modes of male superiority, you’ve probably benefited from a stereotype boost and didn’t even realize it. Here are two more stereotypes that could actually be on your side.


On the SATs
According to the most recent data released by The College Board, which runs the SATs, high school boys outperform girls by five points on the verbal portion and by 34 points on the math section. The notion that boys are better at math than girls—as opposed to actual ability—is believed to contribute to the disparity in achievement.

In the Gym
A 2009 French study found that telling men they should have better balance than women increased how long the guys could stay standing on a balance board. The researchers found that in this case, the stereotype increased guys’ confidence in their abilities, and helped them tap into new found core stability. But most fellahs would rather show their bicept  during a curling exercise. As their abs pop while they sweat.  Not proving the can balance themselves on a balance beam.
This is a quote I always liked by Winston Churchill: If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
OK all of the above maybe facts that men get a high "T" boost from, but, when we believe it and  when we are asked to stretch  like a ballet dancer we can't or don't want to because even the  thought of a male ballet dancer as be very being very flexible is cool but  we don't want to be that flexible. Women will always keep that edge. Just because men don't want to be compare to  some dude on his toes in tights.

She can make you work harder.
As a driven dude, my target is always to be with the most competitive team possible. Winners always are motivated by the little things, in this case for me it is to be better at something than the opposite sex.

Pump up those Biceps, dude,because she  is catching up, faster than you think.

Can a man and woman ever really be just friends?

 Of course—but according to new research, that doesn’t mean they won’t think of each other naked, too.

A study team  recruited 44 pairs of college-age guy-girl friends, separated them, and asked each a series of questions about their attraction to their “buddy.” The average length of the friendship was two years, though some had been friends for 10 years or more.

The findings: Regardless of the length of the friendship, men were roughly 24 percent more attracted to their friend, and were 17 percent more interested in dating. But, even among women, the average desire to date was rated about a 4 on a 9-point scale—not exactly just-friends territory.

Researchers then repeated aspects of the experiment with older adults, and found similar results across all age groups: On average, men felt twice as much attraction to their female friends than vice versa. Want to take your platonic relationship with her to the next level?You have to Escape the Friend Zone.

What’s the takeaway here? Men and women can have great friendships, but often those friendships involve some degree of attraction, which usually comes from the guy mostly,  this attraction can add fun or excitement to the friendship (the hated 6-letter "F" word) but usually becomes an obstacle—though not an insurmountable one.

So now the big questions:

1. What do you say to your girl  friend if one of her guy buddies makes you uncomfortable? 
2. And how do you answer her when she’s got doubts about your best girl pal? 
3. How do you explain that you are just friends when your girl Pal is cold and borrows you jacket and now it has her fragrance all over it?

   Scenario 1: You think one of her guy friends might be interested in more than friendship with you Lady.
The tactic: Be positive and constructive,  What does that mean? “Avoid saying things like you don’t understand men, or he’s just trying to get in your pants.” Sit her down, and tell her you think she’s beautiful, and you know guys have problems compartmentalizing friendship and attraction around beautiful women. You can’t ask her to stop being friends with the guy, but you can request to be included in their friendship. That means she invites you along when they hang out, and she doesn’t discuss your relationship with him.

Scenario 2: She thinks one of the girl pals you hang out with is into you.
The tactic: Don’t dismiss her concerns as silly or unfounded. As the research above shows, women often are at least a little attracted to their male friends, and you wouldn’t want your own worries shot down so casually. Be honest with yourself,. That means you have to figure out whether you really are just friends, or if there’s an underlying attraction that could lead to cheating. Either way, you need to follow the advice from the first scenario: Include your partner in the friendship, and agree you won’t hang out with the female friend one-on-one without asking her to come along first.

Want to make your girl friend your girlfriend? Of course you do. In a study where 88 opposite-sex pairs of friends filled out questionnaires about their relationship, guys were more likely to be attracted to their female pals than the other way around, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found.

Men were also more likely to overestimate their female friends’ attraction to them. So if you find yourself wanting to jump from the Friendship Zone to the Relation Ship—abide by these four strategies to make the tricky transition go as smooth as possible. (But believe me: There are still plenty of Good Reasons, experts will tell you,  Not to Sleep with Her.) I'm trying to focus on that previous statement while looking at this picture. I can't think clearly anymore and I'm assuming most guys and some gals would not either!

1. Assess the Situation
First, is she available? If she has a boyfriend, is just getting over someone, or is confused about what she wants, it’s a red light,. Otherwise you’ll look like you’re trying to seize an opportunity, which could leave her feeling betrayed. If, however, you spend lots of one-on-one time together, your interactions often feel like dates, or they have a romantic energy about them, those are good signs that you could become something more than friends. If she undresses in front of you and have no problem asking you if you think she needs a tummy-tuck. Them you are Safe to make a move.

2. Test the Waters In conversation mention, ‘Gee, if I were dating you, I would do x, y, z," and see her reaction to it, If it makes her uncomfortable or she laughs and says, ‘Oh stop!’ with an awkward smile, you may be crossing the boundary and need to respect that she may simply just want to be friends with you. But if she seems genuinely interested in how you would treat her—for instance, she asks follow-up questions to your hypothetical scenario—she may already be thinking you’re boyfriend material, in addition if she jumps on your back and says: "your first duty as my boyfriend  is to carry me to your car," you are in like Flin. 

3. Make a Pact
You have to know going in that there’s a risk of ruining your friendship if a relationship ultimately doesn’t work out. Make a pact to not let that happen. If you’re going to risk a great friendship, make sure two elements—respect and communication—are always there. Because hopefully they’ll still be there and you can go back to being friends. Good luck with that one.

4. Find the Right Moment
Telling her you want to date her while drunk and sitting in the middle of a crowded bar surrounded by a group of people: Bad idea, dude. Women are often very sensitive to context, so even if she feels the same way about you, she may not feel comfortable telling you in that moment. Your game plan: Confess your feelings when the two of you are alone. Make sure you’re in a fun, romantic context such as out to dinner, on a walk, or shopping together to help set the tone. Then, depending on the situation, put your arm around her, hold her hand, or say: I’m just going to do something here, and lean in for a kiss. These actions give her the opportunity to reciprocate if she feels the same way.

 If you try all the above and fail then make a joke out of it like this guy,

3 Signs the Wedding is not going to happen.

Bride leaning against street bollard smiling at groom sitting on steps
"What do mean you are having cold feet we are having a Summer wedding! This not
a logical excuse!"

It's a little late to be second-guessings things, buddy.
Why do most grooms have doubts right up to the last minute before they say "I do?" Or does the doubts continue after the wedding, into the honeymoon and beyond?

Researchers asked  recently married couples whether or not they had been uncertain about getting married, then followed up with the same couples four years later. The results: Women who originally questioned their decisions had significantly higher divorce rates than confident newlyweds.

While researchers only studied women, marriage is obviously one of the biggest decisions of a man’s life, too: You might feel like you’re losing your identity, while also trying to figure out how to fit together with someone else.
 It’s common for guys to get nervous on their big day, but how can you tell whether your concerns are normal or actual red flags? Here are three ominous warning signs you don’t want to ignore.

1. There’s an Elephant in the Room ( you hate her mother)
example If she’s a closet binge drinker  —and she likes automatic weapons, and you know it—or you absolutely despise her mother (but haven’t said anything), slam your foot on the brakes. A really important problem that hasn’t been talked about or dealt with is a warning sign that something needs to slow down or come to a complete stop. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with her, not only do you need to vocalize things you’re actually worried about—you need to know how to (and if you can) handle the tough stuff with her.   

2. You Don’t Want to Make Waves
If you’re truly unhappy, but continue to wear your game face, be careful. Sooner or later you will not be able to do it anymore. A lot of men try to be the “good guy” and not rock the boat. especially if she know how to use a gun, But instead of finding a solution—i.e. telling her exactly what’s going on in your head—you’re simply training yourself to be okay with disappointment and dissatisfaction. Sounds like a recipe for  disaster while  still married, divorce down the road to me for sure.

3. You Hide Your Dreams
She wants to go  backpacking in Europe while you want to some day  take time to finally earn that M.B.A. degree you always wanted? Speak up. Not sharing those things will come back to bite you on the rear-end. In order to stay connected to her, you have to be able to honor her dreams, and vice versa, or you’ll end up hiding important parts of your lives from each other. And her reaction might not be predictable. If you’re afraid to be honest with her in fear she’ll say “no,” then you’re not ready to say “I do.”
Start by sounding like Barry white:

"So Tell me your secret thoughts, I want to know every secret about what you really really want most out of life, and these are my dreams"

Double standards never get too old to call to the carpet.

Let talk about a taboo subject: Women’s Sex Tourism . Sex on the beaches of exotic places.

Most of what follows in the blog was researched from other sites so I can't take credit for writing this post from my own experiences research or observations like in other blogspots.


Women’s sex tourism is especially popular nowadays.( women out number men in every country)  Sources state that about 600,000 women come to the Island  in the Caribbean Basin every year in search of men’s attention and to get their groove back.

Women’s and men’s sex tourism are two absolutely different phenomena. Women do not go to bars and sex shows to find new partners; they do not make sex tours as such infrequent events are organized basically for men. 
Researchers who studied the phenomenon of sex tourism among women at Caribbean resorts say that this type of a vacation is typical of middle age women either lonely or unhappy about their family life. 

While men choose Asia for their sex tourism, women go to Southern Europe (Italy, Greece, Turkey, Croatia and Spain), to the Caribbean Basin (Jamaica, Barbados and the Dominican Republic), Genoa and Kenya in Africa, Bali, Indonesia and Phuket in Thailand to enjoy sex tourism. Nepal, Morocco, Fiji, Ecuador and Costa-Rica are less popular. Thailand, the Dominican Republic and Cuba are the countries that are best suited for sex tourism of both sexes, male and female. 

Seventeen percent of the Jamaican population lives below the poverty line; tourism and farming are the only sources of income there. The airport of Montego Bay is crowded with young men when flights from Canada or London arrive. They come there to meet “milk bottles who must be immediately filled up”. This is how they call foreign women with white skin. Locals say that middle age women come to the place in search of “a big bamboo” as the opinion of the sexual power of swarthy men is widely spread all over the world. 

Lesbian tourism is just emerging. However, there are several places where women can enjoy it: Mytilini in Greece, Bangkok and Pattaya in Thailand and Bali. 

Sex tourism is popular in the third world countries, and the services are quite affordable there. Jamaica travel experts say that the tariffs are meant for the middle class: $30 per an hour and up to $150 for one night. In addition to the tariff, gigolos would love to receive money, watches, shirts and cigarette lighters as presents. Women from the Canadian capital Ottawa are known as the most generous presenters. 


Women who enjoy sex tourism are given various names in different countries where they go: Shirley Valentines in Britain, Long-tails – in the Bermudas, yellow cabs – in Japan, milk bottles (blondes) and Stellas (brunettes) – in Jamaica. In Barbados, female sex tourists are said to be having “the Canadian secretary syndrome”. 

Men serving female sex tourists also have their names in different countries: kamakia (harpoon for fishing) – in Greece, galebovi (seagull) – in Croatia, sharks – in Costa-Rica, Kuta Cowboys and pemburu-bule (hunters for whites) – in Bali, Marlboro men – in Jordan, bomsas or bumsters – in Gambia, sanky pankies – in the Dominican Republic, grinda hunter – in Ecuador, brichero – in Peru. Men of the Dominican Republic enjoy the reputation of the most professional gigolos.However Jamaica may prefer to call their Boyz "Jamaican Artist." 

For many years it has been considered that sex tourism suited men only. Men just had to make the arrangements and they would have a bomb shell in their hotel suit waiting for them. But as it turned out, middle age women who are not that fabulous as film stars but have quite enough money desire to have sex and enjoyment during vacations to take a rest from their husbands, children and home lives. 


Women’s sex tourism was first mentioned in the middle of the 19th century in the USA and Turkey. Americans liked to visit North American Indians and European women visited Turks to enjoy sex far from home. There were no sex travels just during the Depression, and the pause lasted until the 1960s. Just few brave women from England, France, Czechoslovakia and the USA went to India, Nepal and Thailand probably to enjoy sex with locals. 

Female sex tourism got a new spur together with the second wave of feminism and when tourism began to speedily develop in the 1960s. Canadian women were the first to travel in search of sexual adventures more actively. It is thanks to Canadian women that the Caribbean Islands and hot boys from Jamaica and Barbados grew incredibly popular. In the 1990s, female tourists from Japan and Taiwan joined them and went to the beaches of Bali and Phuket. 




Several years ago, two female sociologists from the USA questioned 240 women spending their vacations in Negril and at two similar resorts in the Dominican Republic. They found out that about one third (80) of them had sexual contacts with local young men during their vacations. At that, sixty percent of them agreed that probably the young men had sex with  them just to get money. All the respondents said they did not pay for the sexual services that men provided during their vacations at resorts. But many of the women explained that they paid money for sex as they treated it as economic aid to the resort staff or even the local economy. 

Some of the questioned women said they had started sex tourism by chance but loved to enjoy it regularly. Others say they love sex tourism not merely because of sex but rather because of the care and attention that local men give them. These women are even ready to pay for this type of temporary love.

With sex Tourism a middle age woman can have a younger man and not worry about it not lasting, because it is not LOVE, it is just sex.
Cougar guide for Older women younger men

A look at figures released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics suggests us lesser mortals are following the trend, with the proportion of relationships where women are at least 10 years older than their partner rising 23 per cent between 1996 and 2006. This year a survey by Prevention magazine found 55 per cent of Australian women had dated a younger man. At Fast Impressions Speed Dating, 'Toyboy Nights' have the highest match rates of any of their themed events. But is it really such a new phenomenon?

Times are a'changing
"Older women have had relationships with younger men since history began. But in the past only aristocratic, rich, famous or powerful women were able to do so and survive the condemnation from society.
a woman  married to a man 14 years her junior said  "With the advent of women obtaining economic independence, things have finally started to change." "I think it's becoming more acceptable as lifestyles change," adds Sydney-based Love Coach Carolin Dahlman . "Nowadays we all tend to live similar lives, unlike when our parents were young and there were clear gaps between the generations. These days it's OK to act young when you’re older. We have the freedom to choose what lifestyle we want."
Although the majority of us still follow the tradition of getting married, buying a house and having kids by a certain age, more and more are choosing alternatives. As a result, it's becoming more the 'norm'. But it's not just this acceptance that sees more women dating younger men.

"They seem more alive, vital, optimistic and enthusiastic. They’re not as jaded as older men. They adore their woman, cherish her, find her interesting. And they like to make love a lot. Women reach their sexual peak later in life, so it’s a good match.
The Prevention survey echoes this, with 29 per cent of women saying they are attracted to younger men because they have more energy and stamina. But the main attraction, according to 37 per cent of respondents, was good looks. Thanks to increasingly better living standards, older women can stand their ground in that arena.
"With better education on health, diet and fitness, and everyone living longer and healthier, women in their 40s, 50s and even 60s can still look youthful and feel great. And far from what they’ve been led to believe, sexual desire doesn’t drop off but maintains, just like it does in men.

You are who you THINK YOU ARE!

The following quotes are a collection that helps me smile (internally) daily:

• I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.~John Burroughs
• We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care about what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live; they travel far.~Swami Vivekananda
• Change your thoughts and you change your World.~Norman Vincent Peale
• A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.~Mahatma Gandhi
• We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. ~Buddha
• As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.~Henry David Thoreau
• Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well. ~Mahatma Gandhi
• All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
• Our life is what our thoughts make it.~Marcus Aurelius
• We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the World.~Buddha
• The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.~Bob Marley

This last one by  Bob Marley makes me think about this other qoute by him which is so true.

"Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!"
~Bob Marley

My thought are often influenced by  what happens to me during the day, I'm working on thinking about the days I want to have instead of dealing with the day that life puts on my plate from time to time.  Feeling like you are in the toilet, can be changed by just how you think about the situation you are in. If you are thankfull that it isn't worse, you will feel better right a way. It works for me, most of the time...
I'm known as the guy who is always talking about choices, deciding to choose what you really want is a matter of  controlling your thoughts. Positive thought are far better than negative thoughts. You can except a situation but move your mind forward and don't stay stagnant in it.
I love looking at beaches as a scenic mind changer. I remember a professor who told me in my Public speaking 101 class. "Just picture everyone naked and you will start smiling right away as you step on stage."

I must admit it helped, but some of the images in my head of my class mates naked were horrible. So now I picture people at the beach having fun as the surf rolls in and out. Soothing and refreshing.

 
                            Take life in stride and try to move  forward to better thoughts,

good visuals help.

                       

Try this while you read this post or after..... click on this Youtube video and listen to the surf
( I did it when I was typing this blog post.)

You are not her " first choice!"

Who stands a better shot at entrepreneurial success - the young and fearless 20-something or the seasoned 40-and-over executive? Take a wild guess.

Just like business and in  personal situation, if you feel like you not someone's "first choice" you will struggle with your confidence in dealing with him or her. 

“ The tools to him who has the ability to handle them. ”~ French Proverb

 If we define “success” as still being in business after 5 years, which do you believe is true: pick what your think  below:

Founders under 30 have the edge (they’re relatively poor and hungry, can work long hours and are willing to break the rules to achieve a breakthrough)

Founders 40 and over are stronger (they have greater financial resources and are a better bet for raising funds, have more business experience and a vast network of connections) 

Age doesn’t matter (a founder who has run at least one prior business has the greater advantage)

Success stands a better chance when a young founder partners with a highly-experienced and older cofounder

  

Many folk treat the risk taking in business the same way they take risk in their personal life. so let's ask the same type of questions about ones personal lives.

If we define “success” as still being in together after 5 years, which do you believe is true: pick what your think  below:

Guys under 30 have the edge (they're relatively poor and horny,  they can have sex for longer hours and are willing to break all the rules to achieve a breakthrough and capture your heart.

Guys 40 and over are stronger (they have greater financial resources and are a better bet for raising kids, they have more experience in relationships and are ready to commit)

Age doesn't matter (a man who has been at least in one prior relationship has the greater advantage.)

Age and experience does matter ( a man who has been in at least 10 prior relationships has the greatest experience advantage)

Success in a relationship stands a better chance when a younger woman partners with a highly-experience and older partner.

***Now I will not be able to see what you picked only you will know what you believe to be true as it applies to you.

So here are a few things to consider. Most of the times you don't find happiness with your "first choice," now the "second choice" can be who you settled for. But only you will know if it was the right choice. over time it will become apparent that you  can't change the choice and go back and have a do over. 

That's right as time passes, lets just say a  year or two, do you think that your choice is someone you want to go on an exotic vacation with.

As you stroll together on the beaches of the Caribbean shorelines, do you have a good time naturally with this person as you are  holding hands? Or are you asking yourself the question: Is this all there is or will we be become happier the longer we hold on to each other?

We all believe that paradise is the most romantic when shared with someone special. It starts with  your first honeymoon (you don't need to be married to have one.)

The more your repeat honeymoons the more chance you will have at making it last.  Why?  Have you  ever played the same song over and over for a few days and then you play it again after a long time? Do you still like the song or does it loose something?
 Repeating honeymoons work the same way. You get in the right frame of mind to go away together, you pack based on what you dream will be happening. You find yourself dreaming ahead of time the anticipation makes your pulse race.  OK let's assume he is "Mr. Right" or "Right for the moment." Then your mindset will make all the difference as to how much you enjoy the experience. So here is were you have to do the little things to make the exiting things happen and last for a few days.

This  test will confirm your good or BAD choice.

Will he continue to be exiting and a Gentleman who will protect you (using his jacket)  from the elements as the breeze cause a chill to come over you?  Women always want a man to be gentlemen but do you pick a gentleman from the very beginning, because men who have habits don't break them, Good or BAD he will do what comes naturally to him. So your choices will tell you over time if it was an act or  was he  for real all along.

Now I know you might be thinking: What if you don't want a permanent relationship,you just want a travel buddy you can have fun with. Enjoy those things that you only do when you are traveling and are less inhibited 

 The possibilities of finding that type of guy is rear unless you are Kim K. so chances are you might wind up traveling alone.

Now if that's "your thing" then you are not alone. There are many women doing the  travel alone bit (maybe to meet someone), either on vacations or for the rest of their lives simply because you picked the wrong choices above. So do you think you should read the choices over again and see if  you might pick differently this time.

Like the persistent turtle in the race, you will get there.–your major competitor is you.    

Did Your know that you were my hero?

On your 28 Birthday, I just want to dedicate this song to you, my fist born son. The lyrics in this song is a perfect depiction of our relationship.

It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind

So I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strength
A beautiful face without a name for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

It might have appeared to go unnoticed
But I've got it all here in my heart
I want you to know, I know the truth, of course I know it
I would be nothing without you

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be
I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings

Oh, the wind beneath my wings
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings
Fly, fly, fly away, you let me fly so high
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings

Fly, fly, so high against the sky
So high I almost touch the sky
Thank you, thank you
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings
 

Father's and sons are suppose to have special relationships. I feel truly sorry for all those Dads who fail to have that good relationship with their sons. I'm truly blessed to have two sons to carry on my last name. I love then both dearly.

When a man first becomes a father something special happens he realizes at that point that he is responsible for making this young life someone special. And when that young life grows up, you then realize that you had a hand in molding this person into the image of what your view of the future was.Someone special to past the torch to. No matter how high you reached in your life, it is not worth much unless you can pass it on to someone or in my case to two sons. They can treat it as a relay or they can rebuild what you built if it is out dated and make  it better for their off-springs. To not realize that, is to live life in a truly selfish state of mind. As I  listen to the above video by Eddie Lever who  is a father who had two sons, Gerald his eldest die a few years ago and as I look at the pride on his face, here on the Album cover, I know he feels a real deep  loss in loosing his  eldest son so early (who was so very talented)  you may not know much about his second son. I'm sure that Eddie is praying very hard that nothing happens to him.  I can't even begin to tell you how I would deal with what Eddie Levert may be feeling.

Just the other day, my youngest brother in-law tweeted that his eldest son was in a serious car accident and that the car he son was driving was totaled... but his son was OK.... thanks to the seatbelt and airbags. When I read that my heart sank, because fathers like my brother in-law and I share the same values of being there for our kids, our eldest sons are one year apart and they are close cousins. Both of us are very proud of having kids. This is the most important job a father can have, it's  having a great relationship with his kids. We should never let our kids grow up wondering why their fathers are not their heroes. This is what I know,  your sons become your Hero in due time. My dad was my hero, and he past on these values to me, I in turn try to instill the same values in my sons. We can only pass on what we know. Not that a son who grew up without a dad can't grow up to be a great father, but it is easier for the sons who have a good dad to learn from... that is what being a hero is all about not leaping tall buildings or walking on water. It's being important in your kids lives.

The movie John Q was a sad movie with Denzel Washington who showed that he was willing to give up his life so that his son could live. In the end he only had to do some jail time. Which is a small prize to pay to ensure that his son could live a fruitful life for years to come.

His son said "thanks Dad"  and One of the guys who was a hostage played  by Eddie Griffin a comedian even in a serious movie  .. said these words in the end " you are my hero." 

If your sons are your Hero let them know because that will make them act like Heroes.  

They are the wind beneath your wings, and you will fly higher than an eagle, as they will in time.

 

Father First Became Bigger than Basketball

Here again a super hero dad Dwayne Wade writes about being a proud dad.

check out:

Two Stories for all Dads!

 

The shoulder you choose should be warm and comfortable

There are pillows that can look like your dream comfortable strong man. The usage of these pillows may be  beneficial to  those who's significant other is  away for a few days, or maybe weeks and months but if it is a permanent substitute then it may become a problem. 
I remember a  Jennifer Lopez movie, where the roll she played as and independent female,  who had trouble sleeping without one of these body pillows.

Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) is well aware that her biological clock is ticking, but she just can't find the type of guy she'd want to settle down and start a family with. Eventually, she makes the decision to become a single mother ( by artificial insemination.) The very same day that Zoe follows through on her plan, however, she meets Stan (Alex O'Loughlin), a single charmer whom she thinks would make a great father. While at first Zoe struggles to hide her condition from Stan, before long there's no denying the truth and she decides to spill the beans. Much to her surprise, Stan responds enthusiastically, announcing that he's in it for the long haul. Over the course of the next nine months, Zoe and Stan enter into a whirlwind romance, begin drawing up wedding plans, and mapping out the rest of their lives together. But will their burgeoning relationship collapse under the stress of all this weight, or was it simply meant to be that Zoe and Stan would both find each other at such a crucial turning point in each others lives? 
Of course this is a movie, and movies almost have a happy ending.
So let me ask the questions to most women that are in this same mindset  right now. What choices are you making? Are you closing the door to happiness with someone because you have a career,or maybe still not over a previous BAD relationship?

When was the last time you felt the warmth of someone strong and gentle hugging you and telling you, you are' amazing...?' 
To feel this you may have to change a few things:
- Maybe letting down your guard a little.
- Maybe becoming less combative
- Maybe acting like you did before you became jaded
- Maybe actually letting someone come close to you
- Maybe becoming that woman that a man will see past the mask.

OK maybe I should tell you what  guys like me  are looking for. Listen this is just my B.A.D version, not every man thinks like me.

I'm creating a "Special Lady" cake recipe, because I have a sweet tooth.
Let me reach into my spice rack to see what I need to get it just right.
To make this mix, I need:
- 2 cups of intelligence (she has to be smart)
- 1 cup of sugar brown (Because she has to be sweet, mental, sound and deep)
- Cinnamon is always good to accent the taste and balance the sugar
- A few cups of culture, so she's in touch with her roots
(You see I want to enhance my connections with my own roots, that's why I will stick to Special brand of chocolate)
- I am adding butter cause she must be smooth
- Raisins for the "dimple" will be cool and accent her beauty
- I think I'll add a little salt, to balance her out
- And a dominant profile, to show she has clout
- For a responsible woman, I'll throw in some baking soda
- I'll add 7 cups of courage (you need to be willing to take a chance)
Turn her 360 degrees,  so that I can ADMIRE her beauty...... fully.

She needs to be Un·Pre·ten·tious
1. Not attempting to impress others with an appearance of greater importance, talent, or culture than is actually possessed.
2. without ostentatious display; plain: her unpretentious demeanor.
3. naturally modest: not putting on a false or showy display of importance, wealth, or knowledge .

Grant me One moment to admire your beauty. One moment is all I ask. One moment is all I need.
Because that one moment will last me a lifetime!

the next time you meet someone, who caught your eye, try to think about these things:

Let us never forget that we learn in moments of enjoyment!

People will do more of what they are praised for!

Attainable goals are those you can reach but that make you stretch!

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely!
“ The secret to success is the consistency to pursue. ”
~Harry F. Banks 

Leave it on the bedroom floor

 

Don't ask, because I will not tell.

What's with the questions about the Number.... of sex partners?

Revealing the number of women you’ve hooked up with is fine when you’re throwing back brews with your buddies. Otherwise? Avoid the topic like the plague.

Here’s why: A majority of women will lose respect for you if they believe you have   too much casual sex.

But let’s say your new fling won’t stop badgering you about your number. What do you do? Do you dish, regardless of whether the tally’s 5 women or 50, or do you keep your mouth shut like a steel trap?
My advise is Mum is the word!

Deliberate no more. Here’s your step-by-step plan for attacking the decision—and leaving your girlfriend’s place in one piece.

1. Figure Out Your Stance
If you really don’t mind discussing the matter and you’re not ashamed about  your sexual past, then talk about it. I don't suggest you give a number under any circumstance. But if her persistent curiosity rubs you the wrong way, there’s nothing wrong with keeping it a secret. Sharing meaningful, even powerful struggles from our past can be a great way to bond. But I’m not one to believe that we need to share everything in our past just for the sake of sharing

2. Avoid the number entrapment trick!
Suppose you’re in the middle of post-sex pillow talk when she randomly drops her number: 7 guys. Don’t panic. Don’t feel the need to automatically spill your side of the story. And definitely avoid lying or dropping a number that’s close to hers, just because you think it’ll smooth over the situation. Making up an “acceptable” number isn’t just dishonest; it buries the real mystery at hand, which is why she’s interested in the first place. If you don’t understand the fairer sex. You’re not alone.

3. Uncover Her Motive
So maybe she’s just curious—and that’s completely fine. But usually there’s something more to her probing,  Tell her you don’t mind having some discussion about it, but ask her why the number really matters: Is she worried about whether or not you’re carrying an STD or an STI? Is she concerned that she’s being compared physically and sexually to your past hookups? Is she scared you’ll see her as   too inexperienced?
What it really boils down to is, talking about the number is an unproductive conversation to have. It can raise jealousy and insecurity, which is normal, since it’s hard to think about your partner being with other people.  So put the number to bed, and get deep. The goal is really to stick to the productive conversation you need to be having.Your  best bet is try to set her at  ease by saying something like: "Honey, a gentleman never ever talks about another woman to his LADY........ Don't worry about anything you are the only one for me."


Since this subject  is really taboo, I will end this post by saying no more!

I'm just a man that believe that Love can heal the soul.

I'm currently dealing with writers block..LOL this is funny because I'm not a writer.... So I will do another musical blog of  video of an artist I believe who brings it strong.

Here we go, Tuesday is a day we just try to get through because it is not Wednesday of Friday. So I'm kicking it off with a little music from my dream girl Toni Braxton.

If you have a broken heart this one is for you. Find a way to un-break your heart.

                                 A little tenderness can go a long way to healing what ails us.

I love a  the sound of an acoustic guitar as well as the  figure 8, so if you have ever held a guitar figured female you know what I'm talking about. 

Dream moments that live forever in you memories.

Don't you just love it when a woman challenges you  to "a Man" about something? I do, because that mean she believes that I have the right stuff to do the right thing.

  

If you started  watching these videos when the blog was posted and watched a video per day you would be watching this one on a weekend day. So if you have not heard from someone in a while let them know that it's been at least "Seven days."

To best understand what "Love" is you need to be home with the one you Love.

 Maybe Halle Berry says it Best. "Love should have brought you home last night."

I believe that the message here, is  that "Love" is what will heal what ails the heart in need!         A little Trey SongZ combo with Toni Braxton is right on time.

 

Feel the feeling and enjoy life the way it was intended with "Love" at the center of you existence!

 

Music can calm the furry that builds up inside!

I decided to do something a little different in this post... What's so different this time ?you ask.... I'm going to introduce you to two artist that I've come to  love their music one Male and one Female.

Here is My  play list. 

I will kick it of with  Anthony Hamilton- Woo

 :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wau7jqDHZ5c

Too often lyrics can make you think about someone that it didn't work out with. 

Anthony Hamilton - Charlene

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=QUmxh7H8vok

Vows these days mean nothing, if you believe in Vows you will be disappointed, simply because they are just lip service of the moment that are being re-sighted, no thought put into them therefore no real commitment, at least not long term.. 

                                                       http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=qlJtQLg4bpU

 

What is really "the point of it all." If you can't say it, she does not hear it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=jyW6w

 

  I'm just coming From Where I'm from

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wau7jqDHZ5c

Just Pray for me!

 

Switching to my girl

A little Ledisi is right on time to brighten up the mood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McUj4t3TkPA

 

If you are not going through "changes" you are standing in stagnant waters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=kHXmBP-_ztA

 

Make the "changes" and make things work for you:BRAVO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FREXte0wwqM

 

 

Seeing the sun in the morning is a blessing that it will be a brighter day for you to enjoy: 

It's Alright.

 
                                                                           http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqsc3ih3_Po

 

I will conclude my playlist with this one: Stay together if you can.

                                                                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-xwzgdZ-xY

 That's all folk I hope you enjoyed my playlist.