"The peculiar dignity of men seen eating alone in restaurants on national holidays" This quote is by Stanley Elkin.
The poem.
The peculiar dignity of men seen eating alone in restaurants*
Waitresses never ask what you're readingbut they always smile when you eat alone
not that usual one, the one that invites a conversation
but those sad smiles, that caress the edges of pity
But the soup is wonderful, and I don't think I need more water
however if it's not too much trouble I could use another manhattan
Some say eating alone is depressing,
but nonsense, it's the way to go
to prove to yourself that loneliness will not
be the death of you.
It's got it's good points
nobody else to eat the good bread from the basket
no judgment that you shouldn't have another drink
perhaps that isn't enough
but even at the worst points, you can look up
and the waitress will smile
and you'll tell her how wonderful the soup is
and in that moment, things will seem quiet.
My thought automatically went to how I must be perceived, by others, when I choose to dine alone in a restaurant. Frankly I hate questions like " is that a vegetable omelet, or is there meat in it?" So when I'm alone, I don't have to answer these kinds of crepe questions.
I seldom care what people think, but it has crossed my mind: Am I being perceived as a loner, a loser, someone who has no friends, or worst yet, someone who would be perceived as a dangerous bomb-maker.
Women in sharp contrast are seldom seen in public dining or doing anything alone , they usually are in groups of 3 or larger.
Guys need to head to a sports bar or an event to be part of crowded place. If we are not in the mood to be hanging with many people, we go fishing. Personally I hate sports-bars, not because I hate sports, on the contrary I love sports. I hate jerks who start arguments about who has 'game and who sucks.'
Women can be laughing about silly pickup lines that guys use and enjoy their conversations. Where as us guys will have two drinks and start arguments on who was the all-time greatest players, fighter or swimmer. Old school dudes will drop names that the hip hop generation have never heard of, which will cause an argument, "if he was that good how come I have never hear of him." which will cause an argument instantly..
Finding a peaceful way to dine alone is peculiar to some, but to someone who likes his own company it is dignifying way to dine and think in peace.
I'm a guy who looks for ways to improve in every area, I'm not stuck in my ways of for the lack of a better term " my BAD habits." So I will spend a little time reading this book during my alone time sometime this week.
Taking advantage of alone time to make positive changes is always a good thing. I have always thought of myself worth with some pride of accomplishments. The fact that I take my time to study a subject, and not rush out to make an impression on someone , UN-prepared, is not me. A person might not even be interested in being impressed by me. So why rush. When you rush... and hit a stone wall, you say, "oops, that didn't work!"
That is the worst feeling!Many guys do this all to often. - Rush to impress a woman or a new employer before someone else does.- Yes we all would like to get there first but she will remember the last person who made an solid impression on her as 'the lasting impression.' So think about how well you are prepared before jumping the gun,and getting called for a 'FALSE start' and being dis-qualified immediately.
Making a lasting impression is about doing things with dignity and composure to close the deal. Hat in hand. Yes, I know, that so old school.. But do you think she will see it as: Good manners and respect for her. if you remove your hat as you approach her.
I think she might be impressed, just a little bit.... Now ask to join her for a drink in 'French.' That my friends is class that is timeless.
