The Era of the Black Woman's appeal , is it NOW or has it past?

 

 

While the vast majority of  people of Color  I know date/marry other  people of color, I personally know more black women my age with white boyfriends/husbands, these days than black men my age with white girlfriends/wives…and I bet some of you do too. 

Actually, for me, using “more” is somewhat misleading because, well, I don’t know many. I mean, I know they exist. I occasionally hear about them on NPR,  I’ve seen one or two  and apparently this is all the new  rage out West in California, but I do not personally know any urban, educated, and employed black guys—basically, bougie black guys like myself—who date white women(anymore.) Not one, Okay I stand corrected my best friend from my childhood days is the exception.

But, I know at least 10 black women with those traits who are currently dating or married to white men, because they say we Black men don't want Black women...

I’m not pointing this out because I think this is a bad thing. Or a good thing. Or an inbetween thing. It’s just a thing I’ve noticed…

I'm showing some pics of some sisters that have been catching my eye lately on Social Media.

You tell me... am I not seeing fineness to the Max or what?

The curves of a Black woman is second to none!

The sexy full lips of a Black woman is Oh, sooo inviting!

The dark eyes of Black woman tells so many stories! You have to be willing to read her.

Okay now I'm reaching for the stars, she can be flexible just as long as you treat her right!

Her playful side can be all fun and games, just as long  you don't play her for a fool!

She will not turn her back fully on you!

 

 

In my book these are enough reasons for me to be a lover of  Color

 

Color always stands out in a crowd!

And trust me this is all good.

click here: Historic beauty fights racial prejudice
 

 



Why are you confused.... He is just not interested in You!

That's right... Get a Clue:if he is constantly texting someone  while he is with you or  He's not calling back, He's not into you!
So you are interested in a guy, but he's inconsistent in calling and texting you. Usually, when you call or text, You don't get a response, but the You see that he's using Social Media, regularly. You should take that to mean he's not interesting. But whenever You fall back, he starts to contact you again. He's playing games. You may like him but is he really interested in You??

I hate to be the one to break this B.A.D news to you. he's just not interested. I know, I know. He 's calling every now and then, and that's supposed to be a clear sign that he's into you. But since he is not consistent, and equally important, he only appears to be into you when you're not showing that you are into him. Both are red flags.

I wish I could recall which of my friends who pointed out the difference between a man being interested and a man wanting to feed his ego. That guy has saved me from countless dating headaches with priceless advice that I am now passing on to you.
You see we sometimes, as guys think if we play games, woman will make all the mistakes and fall for us... But games can back fire... big time.

So you see  Ladies: When a man is interested, he just is. He calls, he spends time, he woos and puts in consistent effort because he genuinely likes you. This pic as a good morning note with a rose as Facebook message would be my style, if I really like a woman.

But some guys are operating off ego. If he were actually interested, he wouldn't run hot then cold all the time. He would be answering your calls or responding to your text  consistently, instead of procrastinating on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. This guy does, however, want you to want him, which shouldn't be confused with him wanting you.
He gets a kick out of you calling and texting and reaching out. When he looks at the screen and then ignores you, he feels wanted and powerful that he can make the choice to brush you off. He only picks up the phone to call when you stop contacting him because it's a blow to his ego that you are losing interest. He does just  enough to get back in your good graces and then pulls the same trick.

The only man who is  more frustrating to you ladies is this other type of guy,  he is the one who is really into you, but then just one day pulls a disappearing act where he never calls and never responds to any of your calls - until months pass, then he texts you to say: "What's up?"  like he just saw you yesterday. If that guy is a level 10 on the frustration meter, then the guy you're dealing with that pretends to like you  is also playing , "I know you want me" games is a 9.5. Maybe the game that women play when they flirt have caused some guys to use reverse  logic. I will play you before you play me!

Know that this doesn't end well for you and that if you want these games to stop, you have to stop participating in them. that means stop answering the phone when he calls. Stop responding to his texts and/or emails. Also stay off his social media pages as cyber-lurking never helped anyone to get over anyone else. And most importantly stop playing your game!

Sometimes the most obvious things are the things we do not see!

So who is a good man,  from your perspective? "

Is it a dude that will organize a private romantic dinner on the beach? That's a Romantic, not necessarily "a good man."

 

When a man is considered "good". funny how differently this is understood, or should I say --- mis-understood.

To a man, he is "a good man" if he works everyday and takes care of his responsibilities, it has nothing to do with how he reacts emotionally, but it's not the same for a woman, you see " good" means  "all of it", including personality.

Why is a "good" man often a lame man, follows the crowd, easy to tame and takes no real stand on  your drama issues?

He Works faithfully at making his mate happy, always gives, never takes, but he has no personality, everyone's ideal man, but  He also blows  with the breeze, when off pops the drama, he runs to his momma, a woman wants security, a soldier in the face of the enemy, not a momma's baby!

Okay good men where are thou? Try Looking in the restaurants, all are too fat, this club has too many members. most women don't want these guys, but they might be good men!!!

Your church boys have a lame mindset. Then there is the  guy who is Moving too fast out on the jet set, hanging in the studio? Not a good bet! She does not want to get husstled, so she declare that she doesn't like that  kind of dude either,  can woman really trust a guy that is in and out of  the courthouse a  man that  is a regular defendant---- Jorge Zimmerman type. What about on the Internet (social media?) The pic looks good, but who's that? Is he real? Not giving up yet, just tell them, fellas, where you all at?

Ladies, let me say this, a good man is nothing to play with, if you're a good woman, you'll stay with him, hold  on to him. He'll be good to you and your kids,  just don't be a witch (with a B), expect a K.I.S.S dude, he will not diss you, there is something you might miss, that is not on the list. Do You want romance or a good man? Close your eyes and make a wish, chances are he will not be both good and romantic all the time.

 Good men, where did you go wrong? You do everything right, still she says you're the wrong one for her. It's Not enough that you provide a good home , she will keep fussing at you for no good reasons, she is hard to get along with (because you are not her firs choice, but who she settle for.) You wake up one day and she's gone, she leaves a note " you are a good man but you lack this or that, so with all your good efforts it is not enough to keep love going, how much affection you didn't show(these are listed by date and time,) what kind of seeds are you sowing, the reltionship is stagnant no longer growing...

It's all because of the roles these guys play in the movies, no real man can live up to filling  these  shoe sizes!

Hell will freeze over, if we guys  can ever fit the profile of a woman's version of a good man..... Maybe it's best to be a dude with B.A.D. initial that works hard at doing good things... Maybe not.

 

 

So what caught your attention when you first saw her?

"Just one look is worth a thousand words." I believe I heard that somewhere. We are sure you would agree that female body is the most loveliest things that has ever been created by God. The female body is elegant and sophisticated, beautiful and soft. You want to look at it, touch it, caress it…But have you ever given it a thought what makes it so desirable and attractive to a man? You might say there is no definite answer, and you will be right..   You might find large breasts highly appealing to you, while your friend might be attracted by long legs or slim waist. But there is no doubt that regardless of the woman’s overall body size and weight, a slim waistline between curvy hips and prominent breasts makes a woman very appealing to any man. Studies have been done to calculate the most appealing waist to hip ratio and you will be surprised but as it has turned out that the ratio has not changed much throughout the centuries. The studies have shown that men prefer women with a waist to hip ratio. between 0.68-0.72. Women with the ratio within this limits are perceived as being more attractive, feminine and reproductively capable. Most Russian and Ukrainian
women have the ratio of 0.7 which is probably one of the many reasons why they are so popular and desirable all over the world!  (mainly in strip clubs....)

So what part of a woman’s body is most appealing to you?

 

 You have to get very close to see the details of a woman’s face, but you can see the shape of her body from 500 feet, and it says more about your matting desires and her figure makes her  a perfect mate with her perfect shape.

Between waist and breasts there is also a very appealing part of the female body that is unfortunately often overlooked and underestimated by men. But we recommend to look closely at the pictures and you will not help noticing how attractive, sexy and sensual woman’s back can be…My simple Analysis is that  Men who instantly judge a woman based on her looks are simply following their survival instincts,.

 Is there anyone else in the world who find women’s lips as sexy as I do? What we often see when we are close enough  to her is that the lips are  a major attraction in their own right.
So you see we men define women as appealing in more ways than one.

We Men take a fraction of a second to decide if we  are attracted to a woman or not – but we should not be called shallow because we are genetically programmed to do so, scientists say. Men weigh up potential partners almost instantaneously based on their appearance because our "ancient" genetic preference for attractive mates leads us to, experts claim.

According to research, a woman with an attractive face is taken by men to be fertile and able to continue the family line, appealing to the man's survival instinct.

In contrast women take longer to decide their feelings for a man because they need to weigh up whether he will be a committed partner who will provide for them well – part of their survival programming.  Scientists tested men and women's bias towards looks by conducting a series of tests on 20 women and 20 men, making them perform tasks while recording their brain activity. 

Men are easily distracted when we see a pretty face but women stick to the task, of evaluating.
Men definitely have the most wandering eye but it is because we have evolved to pay attention to cues of fertility and one of those cues is facial beauty –women will think that men are shallow.
"But we do make snap judgments about women, much earlier than was previously thought. We make that decision on whether a woman would be a good mating partner in milliseconds. So I repeat: Men who instantly judge a woman based on her looks are simply following their survival instincts.  
This is something very ancient and a way of helping men find the best mate to produce children.
 Women are not distracted by attractive male faces because women need more proof of whether a man is a good mate.
 Women make that decision on behavior, whether a man is trustworthy and committed. They make their decision much later than men. 

 

Are you a GOOD WOMAN or just a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ?

Most women don't  start out  as a GOOD WOMAN, but over  years some learn how to become one. So allow me to list my TOP 10 Characteristics of a Good Women.

Now this is not my view of a Good woman!

• Sexually Inclined- Every man wants a lady in the streets and a freak between the sheets. She has no problem with taking her sexual relationship to greater heights WITH HER MAN. She will rock his world in every sexual way imaginable, leading to a NOSE WIDE OPEN. She is not ashamed to express her sexual appetite and explore new sexual adventures.
• Good Listener /Knows when to be Quiet- We all know women have got to have the last word as well as they always have something to say, well most do. So here's the thing, when your man is talking, be quiet and LISTEN, don't interrupt us, listen attentively and respond respectfully. Choose your arguments carefully and of course speak when you are spoken to. When you know you are wrong, just hold your tongue and apologize. The one thing that will drive any man crazy is a woman's mouth and the lashing of her tongue. Be gentle, your tongue is not heavy, so you should be capable of holding it. speak softly if you are insulting... I might not hear you.
• Faithful- No need to elaborate too much on this one, NO MAN wants a cheating or disloyal woman and that is simply bad behavior. When a woman cheats, more than likely he will leave. The thought of another man touching my WOMAN, is a NO, NO. So Ladies, if you feel the need to cheat, just leave, go be single. Not to mention that's a sign of not being ready for commitment. Being Faithful  is a characteristic every man wants in his woman. You can't say "all men cheat" and believe that women should do what you deem as low down dirty man thing.
• Supportive- Men have dreams just as women do and we need support, maybe his dream is not yours but a Good Woman would support her man, whether he fails or not. It's not all about HIM supporting YOU in the relationship, it's GIVE and TAKE, we needs to know that when all else fails, you will be there to support us. I don't mean support him as in, TAKE CARE OF HIM, but have his back, make sure we comes home to a supportive woman, who will help us wind down, from a hard day or simply tell us, "I got you baby."

• Patience-  A Patient woman is one who has the ability to wait for her man when he says "he will take care of it" Now, I know most women are  not that great at this one, but hey I'm not perfect so I can't expect you to be. At any rate, no man wants a woman who rushes him, or is always in a hurry, or cant' wait a few moments or day or two to get something done. Also a patient woman understands nothing happens on her accord.
• Motivator- Most men appreciate a woman who has the ability to motivate us towards success, not only that, some men need a push here and there to give them a kick-start in areas where they may not be as strong. So if you notice your man/spouse has the ability to achieve greatness and just needs some motivation, help him, encourage him to reach for the stars and definitely do not degrade him.
• God-Fearing- A God Fearing woman understands her role in a relationship and yes we all have one. She understands that GOD has power and control over not only her life but also realizes keeping HIM at the forefront will lead to a happy and healthy relationship. A GOD Fearing woman is one who knows there are rules to follow in a marriage according to GOD and she will not dare defy her father, in turn she maintains balance in her relationship. Get to know GOD and understand his way of life where a marriage is concerned.
• Respectful- No man wants a disrespectful woman, this relationship will end quickly. Learn to respect your man's wishes, thoughts, dreams and ambitions. if you disrespect the man you say you love, he will no longer have love for you. Learn to humble yourself and diffuse situations that you may readily be tempted to lash out.
• Confident/Secure- A confident woman is a sure woman, she will not accuse her man of doing everything under the sun. Her self-worth leads her to a secure mind and with that, she knows it would be his lost if he betrays her. She also has no need to question his every where-about since she has a life to lead herself. She is sure of her role as well as being a GREAT woman. She will not cause unnecessary stress to herself or her relationship on false pretenses and a wondering mind.
• Forgiving- It's difficult to be a part of any relationship and not have a Forgiving Heart. To hold onto pain is to hold anger in your heart, so how can you love or be a GOOD WOMAN with an UNFORGIVING HEART.  A Forgiving Heart is necessary since we know men make mistakes...now I'm not speaking of, habitual cheaters, abusers, etc....Common mistakes in relationships, like maybe he came home to late and didn't call or, forgot it was your birthday or your anniversary, those are situations that needs to be forgiven. Also, IF your man CHEATS, and you decide to stay with him, the ultimate GOAL is to FORGIVE him, not PUNISH him, otherwise, end the relationship, because you both will be miserable.

There is a difference between a keeper and hump-able one nightstand

OK, so what is the difference? Ask most men and we will tell you, our versions may differ a bit, but every man knows that when he meets a woman if she is a one time or maybe a few times hump-able  encounter or a Keeper. Women on the other hand have trouble figuring it out.... if women want to be equal here is where she can move ahead of her girlfriends.... experience the hump-able dude, but don't try to turn him into a keeper.
A man knows if she is a keeper his tenderness lets her know! She should be able to sense if he is sincere or not! 

The most frustrating thing for all of us is not being able to have the option to keep who we think we  want. So ladies here are a few pointers: I will show why a man will make a speedy decision  on which woman meets his needs as "a Keeper."  A woman who reads during her idle time always has my admiration instantly. Why?  because I love smart women who expand their minds... If She reads and discusses things on an intellectual level she is a 'Keeper'!
Why? you may ask is a book or Kindle reader a woman that a man would want  her to become a Keeper... Simple men of the 21st century want smart woman, who maybe able to go from the bedroom to the boardroom. Earning her own money or starting a business or helping her man start and keep a business dream he has going. Making the relationship a collaboration of two people who can work together and establish a future they will both can enjoy.

On the other hand we might spot someone in the club and decide she is a one time shot...but the next morning or the next time she comes to my place I might be asking myself :why  in heavens name  did I do this? Hump-able but "not a Keeper"... We maybe like sexy and lots of junk in the trunk and all that, but we want her to be a partner that can function on multiple levels. not just a smoking hot bedroom partner. 

A man also know if she is  just hump-able! If she only can   cook by heating up TV-dinners in the Microwave then she is most likely 'not a Keeper'

Another example:

So you buddy invites you to pool party and tells  you that there will be  many women to pick from. All you have to do show up.     

 
A dude will look at these two young ladies' shoes and decide which one is a keeper and which on he wants to see perform on the pole at the club. Now that might sound like he is judging her without meeting her and having at least a conversation with her first. Just look, some women can tell you a lot about themselves just by what they wear, and with their body language.

Whereas women will dream about getting with the character they saw in the movies. So if a guy knows the lines by heart he could fake being a "Keeper" while he is really just hump-able... So ladies it always about how a man acts... that makes you believe that he is the one you want... guess what if he is a good actor he will be acting for more than just you. Just like in the movies. He will be juggling his roller deck to pick the one for the night.

We all have fantasies. that we will have a strong flexible partner.  However being too flexible or too strong may also be a problem.