10/08/2014

Are Men Turned Off By Women who keep Pursuing Them?


Secure and mature men have no problem with a woman taking the initiative. But after she expresses an interest the man should reciprocate and take the lead. This is my sincere believe!

When I was a 22-year-old freshly graduated from college new Professional,I moved from N.Y. to Chicago. Left my first serious girlfriend behind. I didn't think about the months and years to come – and how distance from the most exciting city, where I lived in for more than 5 years would affect my career and my love life to come.  I didn't have to pursue women because I was the only black professional male on the Computer systems designing team on contract at Allstate Insurance  corporate office. and there were many females showing interest in the New York guy who just hit town (Northbrook Ill.).  
Before long, I had more phone numbers than I knew what to do with.--- but I wouldn't say outright that I had too many options. all of these females  were no way close to being as interesting as the one Lady who worked for Motorola.(since I didn't like the idea of drama that came with  dating one or two young women working for the company )  I decides  to chase this one lady that worked for Motorola she was a professional recruiter. who caught my eye at a Friday night happy hour at a place in the burbs outside of Chicago called "KISSES." In fact, I believe she played me just right. she wanted to recruit me to boost her recruiting numbers so I miss read her interest in me. it was just the opposite to what I had hoped for. I've always believed that a woman should wait for a man to show interest in her, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't let him know – in subtle yet obvious and ladylike ways – that she likes him. She played me just right, asked me to dance and gave her business card. offered to take me to lunch on Monday, after sat and spoke for a few minutes. I was hooked in an instant!  Only to find out that she was only interested in recruiting me for her company. I was still very flattered! Well, that feeling didn't last for very long..... I didn't see her again  for about two years, so when we ran into each other at another social gathering. I was Happily married. surprise surprise! She was shocked that I was Married and Kept saying: "No you are not Married" she was trying to convince me and herself that I could not be married to someone else after meeting her two years ago..... She was in other words delusional........  thinking that time stood still, for both of us, and I would be available when she was.
Of course,  Christians types like to point to the fact that the Bible says that “he who finds a wife finds a good thing,” a verse that insinuates that it’s the man who does the looking and pursuing, not the female that’s on a major hunt for a husband. (Even if she is, she doesn't need to look like a Needful Nelly all the time.)
Even though I’m  a man, who do mind being pursued. ,  If she’s shy, and has on a nice girlie-dress and pretty make-up she may look at me  with those eyes that says what are you waiting for. then it doesn't hurt to return the  attention, but as far as have her pressure me  for a date – that just seems desperate to me. Men know what they want and if they are really into you, they’ll find a way to make it happen.

A Side note: The World is changing and women feel more pressured to find Mr. Right because if they don't grab him someone else will. OK. "Grab" is too strong a word, but you should show interest and not play games, this will work best  for you. If he is a stand up guy... don't waste time trying to figure out if you are soul-mates or not. He might just move on to someone else who is not going to waste time on stupid stuff. Men who know they are in demand have options. Women who are young and attractive are fighting a loosing battle with  father time.Please Notice I said: " Father time", not Mother nature because Mothers are kind. Father's tell it like it is, and keep it real time.... Just to be specific.. Listen to a person who knows your real age and you will hear them say... "You look good for your age" or "You have not aged a bit, since the last time I saw our" They seldom, almost never say: "OMG you look older than you really are" that would just be unkind! 
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