We react to the "tone" of your voice, more than the names you call us!

You are a "Liar", and you are a "bitch", you "bastard" you "selfish manipulator" .... Need I use any other examples?
When a woman calls a man , who didn't lie  to her, a "liar" ...... it has zero effect on him, however if he did lie to her at some point in time, then that episode flashes back into his mind.. causing him to over react, therefore forcing him to  try and justify and defend his actions . We seldom over react when called names that that do not apply. I remember when a female, who was living with me and her two daughters, called me a "selfish bastard" during an argument. I didn't react because in my mind she was not talking to me. My parents were married for almost 20 years before my mom gave birth to me. So I never thought of myself as a "bastard". So I <smirked> and she lost it. She didn't get a rise out of me which was what she wanted. I could have called her a "bitch" for the way she was acting at that moment, but I didn't . You see I had no need to counter punch because her best punch did not land. Fight Over!
She wanted me to marry her and adopt her youngest daughter and give her two daughters the same kind of life, my sons had... back in the USA. I have not interest in returning to the USA to raise a family. I started thinking why I didn't consider marriage in her case???

how long has it been since we got married?
I don't remember!

Well even the best of marriages can become a miserable substituent for the ultimate reality of living. The divorce rates testify that spouses who were once enthralled with each other ---- gripped by an infatuation so intense they could scarcely stand to be apart , eventually get bored with each other and now can't  bear to live in the same house. Such shifts testify to the reality that non of us are so enthralling that we can keep someone enchanted for 5 or 6 decades. No One! Now 5 or 6 dates? No Problem! 5 or 6 years. That's a challenge! But 5 or 6 decades? Good luck with that ! So it would seem natural to get bored with the same marital relationship. What we need in our relationships is a " magnificent obsession" n overriding purpose that can tie our days, weeks, months, years, decades together .... giving comfort during suffering, highlights our joy in the spring, and even seasons our ecstasies. It might seem impractical, but it can do more  than merely  hold marriages together; it catapults them to new levels of fulfillment. In the end, Selfishness is a boring life.

A quick confession: I was married for almost 25 years. Our first 4 years were dedicated to each other and our main dream was to built our own home.. so we accomplished that together in the 4 years . Then the dream was starting a family so after the 4 years we had our first son. Then  years later we had our second son, so no more children were planned to we stopped at 2. Then our new goal was to move to an upscale gated community and have a two story house. then the plan became traveling as a family to far away places. We did all the above, then boredom and selfishness took over, end of Marriage, end of story.

Just for the record:

My brain has no heart.

My heart has no brain.

That's why when I speak my mind

I seem heartless and

when I do what's in my heart

I seem thoughtless