Is it really a Thin Line Between Love and Hate?

The old school song "there's a thin line between love and hate" is incorrect. There are a lot of emotions that look like hate.

In every romantic relationship we go from one emotion to another. Some may look and feel like the other but they are not the same. Only when you experience them all or at least most of them can you reconcile your feelings or the other person’s feelings. 

Men get confused when women have an outburst,”I hate you!” 

women get more confused when men behave in ways they can’t recognize. he just shrugs and walks away. 

What  are the  most extreme emotions that you can think of? They range from cold shoulder reactions to out right hateful behaviors. . 

Here are a few that I’m sure you recognize that seem the  same as hate but they are not equal to “hate.”  

• Resentment - bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
• Mistrust - being suspicious of; have no confidence in.
• Distrust - the feeling that someone or something cannot be relied upon.
• Frustration - the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change/achieve something.
• confusion - .the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something.

I know I love you, but I'm not sure I can trust you

Love and hate are similar in being directed toward another person because of who he or she is. Despite this similarity, the two seem like polar opposites. Very often when we love someone, we want them to thrive. When we hate someone, we are more likely to wish they would suffer, fail  — or at least change who they are.  Yet we do not have to listen to The Persuaders' soulful vocals to know that love and hate can coexist. If you've ever loved someone, you know that you can hate a person you love. But how is that possible?

He is just a BAD Person for Not Loving You, the way you want to be loved. The most obvious scenario in which you hate and love a person at the same time is one in which your love is not reciprocated. If you think you are basically a lovable person, it can be hard to comprehend that someone you love might not love you. If you lack confidence already, this will be a further blow to your self-esteem. If you have some self-worth, you may temporarily be fooled into thinking that the lack of reciprocation of your love reveals a fundamental flaw in the other person. If you direct your negative feelings at the person because of this “flaw” in his or her personality, you are bound to hate him or her (at least a little).

Love Takes Away Your Personal Freedom. It is easy enough to see how love and hate can coexist in cases of unreciprocated love. But you can hate a person you love even when your love is reciprocated, and even when you have an overall thriving relationship with them. This is one of the things that is paradoxical about love and love relationships — whether romantic or not. 

Having an actual "we-spend-time-together" relationship with another person on the basis of love (romantic love, friendship love, parental love) requires giving up a little of your autonomy and personal freedom. Sometimes you need to spend time with the other person. This leaves less time to do things that you would rather do at that very moment, all else being equal. But not all else is ever equal. 

When you have a relationship with another person, there will inevitably be times when you need to set aside your own preferences and heed the wishes or needs of the other. Which can cause resentment.

Sometimes you need to find a middle ground. If my Lady wants to watch three movies, and I want to watch one, we might end up watching two together. Meeting the other person halfway also entails giving up some of your personal freedom. 

In Western cultures, at least, where the importance of autonomy and personal freedom is repeatedly emphasized, having to let go of your freedom to some extent may not always feel right, especially not if you are used to being on your own and doing whatever you want. You may perceive the giving and the dealmaking as a sacrifice or punishment. If you see your significant other as the reason for your loss of personal freedom, you may hate them a little — or a lot. But is it that true hate that just crossed line from Love to hate?