Women seek relief through talking.

 

We men need to understand that women instinctively feel the need to talk about their stresses, and issues. 

A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.

So how do men react when women need to talk? Men either become protective or want to excape.

When women talk about problems, men usually resist. A man assumes she is talking with hiim about her problems because she is holding him responsible. The more she talks about problems the more men feel blamed. Men do not know that the woman just wants to talk to feel better. A man (because he is assuming) does not know that she willl appreciate it if he just listens. 

This is all your doing, you had to mess up a good thing didn’t you?

Men talk about problems, for only two reasons: men are blaming someone or they are seeking advice. Because a man lacks the  understanding of how women feel. He assumes she is blaming him, then he draws his sword to protect himself  from attack. In both cases, he finds it very difficult to listen.He strikes back and she just starts thinking it’s not worth it to have a conversation about problems with him. We need to end this!

If we can’t just discuss things 

without arguing then what do we have?

We  men may need to seek professional help in these trying times. 

Men also become impatient when women talk about problems in great detail. A man mistakenly assumes that when a woman talks in great detail all details are about him for him to find solutions to her problems. Men struggle to find their relevance.If he offers solutions, he expects her to feel better.This is because men feel better with solutions, as long as they have asked for a solution to be offered. But when she does not feel better, he feels his solutions have been rejected, and he feels unappreciated.

A woman might make any comment as a way of expressing her worries, disappointments, and frustration.She may know that nothing more can be done to solve the problems, but to find relief she still needs to talk about them. 

To forget her own painful feelings a woman may become emotionally involved in the problems of others. Women need to bond with other women so that they can feel all that they want to feel without having to defend, the assumptions that men make. 

Final thoughts

After a few years of being  single again(divorced), I came to the realization that I didn’t always understand women. I thought I did but I was wrong very often when I thought I understood the things that women really wanted. Not all women want the same things. Some women are not  wired for all the vows, they are just in it for-better, for richer and in-health parts. But not the rest as much.  Some are not strong enough to love another person during the for-worst, for-poorer forever parts. People mess up, make mistakes, say hurtful and do hurtful things.They are loveable for a period time. But they are hard to love for-ever and ever, no matter what.

Men  assume that women are into the full vows pledges. But some women are not. If a man is not committed to the vows most women have learned to accept that, because men will be men! But men are not always ready to accept it when a woman stops loving him for what seems like no good reasons, to him… like his mother loved him and his dad until death did them part. Some of these Women are not always so different from men when it comes to commitments. These Women want out of relationships sometimes, they just want to move on with their lives without the man they were somewhat committed to.

These secrets are not shared in the beginning or even in the end.