Now I'm so confused! |
Social media, fictional media, and other sources of romantic goals have created numerous unrealistic expectations for relationships. Many obsess over finding the perfect person who meets every one of their desires. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. The truth is that the ideal person doesn’t exist!
Seeking the perfect person can leave you unable to find a long-term partner, or it might put you in a string of unhappy relationships. Worse still, it could make you project an idealized version of a partner onto something you meet. This notion could subject them to severe expectations that might harm them and you all at once.
For believers in soulmates and true love, learning that the perfect person doesn’t exist can be a blow to hopes and dreams. But you don’t need a “perfect” individual to have a lifelong, happy, and healthy relationship that you’re proud to be in. In other words, the perfect person doesn’t exist, but you can still have a great relationship! How?
Great relationships are a result of a lot of hard work. Of course, this effort doesn’t mean that they feel like a chore. But it does mean that great relationships don’t spawn out of anywhere. You and your partner must put in the effort to build a genuine relationship on a healthy foundation. This groundwork will create a harmonious, love-filled partnership!
You’ve likely heard repeatedly that communication is crucial to a healthy relationship. Although it’s almost a cliché statement, it’s also a very true one. It’s easy to fall into expecting your partner to read your mind or make assumptions about them based on your own experiences and feelings.
Many ideas of a “perfect” relationship involve a partner who “just knows” what to say and do. This expectation is incredibly unrealistic. The fact is that every single person is unique in the way they think, feel, and perceive the world. They’re all shaped by their own past experiences.
As a result, how you react to something is not necessarily how your partner reacts to something. Things important to you are things they may not have thought about, and vice versa. If you don’t tell your partner your wants and needs, they may never figure them out. And their way of showing love and appreciation may not be read by you as expressions of affection, causing you to miss their attempts at displaying love.
The importance of communication cannot be overstated. Here are some tips for maintaining a healthy, open dialogue between partners:
so she expected me to be perfect? |
Final Thoughts
The quest for a perfect person has been doomed from the start. There is simply no such thing. Instead, you must build great relationships, communicate, and overcome unreasonable expectations to live harmoniously with a partner.
It’s a harsh lesson to learn, especially if you’ve had these desires for perfection for your whole life. But look on the bright side! Sure, a perfect person may not exist, but imperfect people always build lifelong happy relationships!
When my mother RIP met my ex-wife just before we got married she told her that I was not a perfect child growing up but now I'm a perfect man. we were both confused as to what my mother really meant by that statement , now that I'm looking back on that moment was damaging, leading to expectations that I just did not meet. the perfect person doesn't exist!
But s/he could be better than you deserve.
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