It does not have to be THAT difficult.

Today most people’s New Year's resolutions are about stopping smoking, drinking less alcohol, taking better control of one’s credit cards, and eating less. I think couples should make resolutions, that focus on improving and strengthening their relationship. Below are ten worth trying. You’d have to be a Saint to really stick to all of them (LOL;) shoot for three and see if your relationship doesn’t grow stronger. Then shoot for a few more....... Who knows you might just gain momentum and accomplish something you really didn't think was possible. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally in January and continued throughout the full year. Give yourself a realistic fighting chance to succeed.

• Greet Your significant other With A Cheerful "Good Morning" Is it too much to ask that you say this with a smile on your face, try working on being less grumpy before you've had your coffee.

• Give Him A Surprise! If your man carries a briefcase or  lunch to work, slip in a sweet surprise. It could be a Hershey's Kiss with a nice note sprayed with your favorite perfume. Guess who he will be thinking about from that moment on.
•  
• Or you can send a YouTube video like this one... A Romantic vocalist can set the mood, and you don't have to do as much work to get the message across...... (click on the video while you are reading the rest of the Blog) That's right it's a mood-setter.


• Text Your Honey An Affectionate Message During The Day. This lets them know you’re thinking about them fondly, and not just what you want them to pick up at the store on the way home. Let's face it you text your friends all the time, so text the person in your life a little more often. 

• Hug And Kiss More Often. Not just when sex is in the air (OK, this one is tough for us Fellas but we can do it if we try. Affection breeds affection, and that’s always a good thing.
• Praise More, Criticize Less. Go out of your way to say something nice about something your significant other does around the house. Say less about what they didn’t do, or the way you’d like them to do it.  NEWS FLASH: men love to be told they’ve done a good job.
• The average couple spends less than an hour together when they’re home unless they’re in bed. Once a week watch a movie together, play a board game, work in tandem on a project. Work to break the habit of him always falling asleep alone in front of the TV on the sofa while you’re  reading in bed.

• Fellas...... Give Flowers When It's Not A Birthday Or An Anniversary. Surprise, surprise. Not only do they make the house smell better and look more festive, but flowers are the symbol of appreciation. Everyone likes that.

• At a gathering or in front of friends, call your partner “arm candy,”  they will gets a big kick out of that.

• Really bury the hatchet (or hatchets.) What’s that old expression about not crying over spilled milk? What’s done is done. Let it go. Move forward. Move on.

• Plan An Unusual Vacation Together. Tick off one more item on that budget list. Never been to Europe or an African Jungle trip?  Skip that .....That's where everyone goes. Now’s the time to do something other couple don't do. Whatever you do, plan it together. And most importantly, resolve to get along on the trip! 

OK, I like waterfalls and there aren't any in St. Maarten, so I'll pick somewhere I've never been. I fell in Love with Kauai, better know as Fantasy Island mainly because of it's many water falls. I don't think I want to go back there, the flight is too long and I shared that experience with someone already. I also Climbed Dunns River falls in Jamaica...... don't care to do that again either....  Argentina and Brazil (Iguazu falls) might be another good possibility, When is the World Cup?
This is what I'm talking about do NEW things with that special someone that will enhance your relationship. It will be a Happier NEW YEAR.

This YEAR is coming to an End, who will YOU kickoff the New Year with?

What are your expectation when you go out on your First Date with someone?

Sometimes when you finally meet someone, the level of anticipation can be so overwhelming that you trip yourself up. It’s easy to see how this can happen, because first dates – at any age – can be traumatic. You’re spending an hour or more with a person you either don’t know very well, know at all, have known forever but not romantically, even someone you never laid eyes on except in a photograph until this very moment. And then there’s so much to consider things pop into your head.. causing major anxiety. What should you wear? How’s your hair?  Is he anything like "Denzel?" Is she as sexy as "Halle?" 

The biggest mistake most women and some men make about a first date is to assume that it’s going to turn into something meaningful. Unfortunately it is just a date..... Some people don't understand what that means because the Movies and TV make dating look like a Romantic interlude from the first glance. It takes so much out of you to even consider going on a date because you don't want the illusion of "Love at first sight" bubble to pop. Most of you LADIES can’t be bothered unless you anticipate the relationship has the potential to “go somewhere.”  Some women won’t even go on a date unless they believe it’s going to lead to marriage. You laugh, but I hear this all the time, especially from attractive, intelligent, divorced or never married folks, mostly 30-something women. What I’m suggesting is to consider that a first date is just that: a first date. A chance to talk to this person, size them up, decide if you want to go on another date with them. Or not. You don’t have to make it complicated unless you love complications.  

The second biggest mistake is to talk endlessly about things the man has no interest in, like your "ex."  Actually ( confession time,) if I go on a date and my date does not interest me after a few minutes of talking, I start talking about my former marriage. This is always a turn off so I use it to keep her from building up any false hopes. If the guy sitting across from you is very curious about any dirt and details you care to throw out about your ex, you should be wondering why he’s dating you in the first place.  Generally speaking, a better use of your conversational time is to sneakily and gently interrogate him about himself. Not about what a went wrong with his first wife (really, do you want to hear about that?), Try finding out about his likes and dislikes. You want to get a handle on his hobbies, his religion, what he’s passionate about. It’s not completely indiscreet to inquire about his lifestyle. It’s a way of finding out if he’s employed (or not) and a little about his income, his ambition, his dreams for the future. Let’s face it, your mother always told you it was just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one. Most of you would prefer the Rich. Even on a first date, it’s not bad to try to find out and see where you might fit.

The last mistake most women make on a first date is when to end it. Close it down when it’s going well...... Definitely leave while you’re still sober if your first date included wine or any other intoxicating beverage. Nothing is worse on a first date than tears or falling down or not being able to find one’s car keys. The end of a first date is also a time to extend a smidgen of intimacy. A handshake is flat out COLD. It means to me Goodbye I do not plan on seeing you again. If you like me enough, we can embrace with a peck on the cheek. If you really like me, it’s ok to end with a kiss. But that’s it. First dates that wind up in bed inevitably are disasters this is not the Movies, unless the chemistry is so electric and the bonding so immediate that the first date lasts an entire weekend. That said, there are a million mistakes you can make on a first date. 

Don’t let giving away your dignity be one of them. Many people describe intuition as "you know but you don't know how you know." It can provide information when you don't have access to immediate facts or when you want an additional level of insight. It communicates through emotions, body sensation, (like a gut feeling), pictures in your mind, words, hunches, instincts and dreams. 
You don't want to get your expectations up and be disappointed... I Have to agree with "Steve Harvey" on this one..... don't give away the cookie..... you have  lots of time..... Don't do something you will regret the next day!

It's time to Become Economic Queens instead of fashion Queens.

Women of Color have buying power in the Billions of Dollars, but on what is this wealth being spent? 

It's being squandered .....not invested..... Ladies, You can't build a future on what you're spending your hard earned money on, unless you start investing. Start planning this New year around savings and investments, instead of wasting your hard earned incomes. Learn more about investing: Turn Your $1,000 into $1,000,000 check out how to invest in things that can bring you a good return.

Afrocentric Women must cease and desist their ridiculous spending habits.  This insane spending of $60 MILLION every weekend on aesthetics  care, and $60 MILLION every weekend on entertainment,  is astounding to say the least!  It is not smart to spend an entire life shopping, partying, fronting and remaining completely broke.  If you’re wasting your money, please come to grips with the truth and understand that it is insane to continue doing it.  

Don't be a grown woman worth less than a $5 value meal on a fast food menu. Break the shackles that bind you and STOP being a slave to consumerism......  Stop living one paycheck away from total ruin.  Assume your position as Economic Queens in this 21st Century.  If you don't believe me look at what is happening with  TV ads, they are targeting you, You are the consumers they believe are most gullible. You are on their "persuade her to buy any and everything  while she is still employed." You better start thinking a little differently because look who is standing in the unemployment lines in greater numbers. Do you see the resemblance? Now picture what will happen if or when the companies you are working for right now start reorganizing, down sizing and out sourcing. Or even worse moving their operations over-seas.

The problem of excessive, wasteful spending has become a bad habit.  You are not fooling anyone by buying outside of your means.  You are making a lifelong mistake.  You have the power to save yourself.   Stop assuming debt on B.S. that does not appreciate in value… Start saving and making appreciable investments today.  You really don’t have anymore time or money to waste. Try thinking about your wasteful spending turning into tumble weave rolling down the street (that is your money being wasted)

If you take immediate, radical action, you can step into becoming Economic Queens, instead of being the laughing stock of the whole World. Chris Rock starred in a movie called "Good Hair," which give you an example that women in The Far East are selling their HAIR (which grows back) to you so that you can pretend to be who you are not.

What can you do instead?

Invest in some property, real estate prices are at an all time low!   Invest in the things that will provide you and your family with security.  Make investments that will extend beyond you to the generations that follow.

It is widely recognized that if Black women are to improve their lives and escape economic hardships, they need the appropriate skills to do so.  Women in many other countries are far less likely to own property and otherwise control assets–key tools to gaining economic security and higher earnings. It makes no sense being a young blessed talented woman, spending all your money on designer pocketbooks, while paying $1,000 rent for a studio apartment. International Center for Research on Women (2005) identified that Black women in America age 36-49 have a median accumulated wealth of only $5.00 (USD).  In comparison, white women age 36-49 have a median accumulated wealth of $42,600.00 (USD).  (According to a study released by Insight: Center for Community Economic Development).  The study goes on to detail the fact that beyond age 50, Black Women are BROKE…having a net-worth of less than five dollars! NO study in the Caribbean has been done but I would have to think that it isn't much different, because Caribbean Women emulate American and European women in their spending habits.

By owning your own homes and land, women directly gain from such benefits as owners, as well as having a secure place to live, they can leverage their possession and make other investments.

Research has found that individuals who own land generate much higher rural non-farm earnings from self-employment than people without land. Clear and simple you need to follow Oprah and OWN your future.

Women can use a house/condo or land as collateral for credit  to invest in a small business or other income-generating venture.

Asset control can also give women greater bargaining power within households and help protect against the risk of domestic issues i.e. it's your house, if he has a problem he can leave.... The law says that 'Possession is 9/10th of the Law.'  So OWN your own dwellings.

In the economic downturn of the past few years, Black women have been the hardest hit.  Coupled with the unfortunate truth that Black women head the majority of Black households, this impacts our entire population. Guess what when the company you work for currently start downsizing  you will be the first affected.   Black women you are hanging on by a thread in this economy you cannot continue the foolish practices of wasting money…of working day in and day out and having absolutely nothing to show for it, other than perhaps the latest cheap, knockoff fashions.

Devise a plan today that will propel you from being a $5 Net-worth Sistah to becoming a financially stable members of society.  Buy value property.  Land rarely ever depreciate in value.  When you OWN land, it is easier and cheaper to have a house built.  Land is one of the most inexpensive investments you can make in your lifetime, with benefits that will last for generations.  Buy property.  Purchasing a permanent place to secure a roof over your head is the wisest thing you can do with your money.

Create a goal and restructure your budget and your spending habits.  Eliminate the waste in your life.  The garbage material items Black women are notorious for buying will add absolutely NO VALUE to your life.  Make a plan and stick to it.  Don’t be swayed by the latest tech gadget or hairstyle.  Stay focused.

Throw a lifeline to yourself.  Save yourself from being fifty years and older and worth less than five dollars.  Have enough pride to do something sound and genuine for yourself.

You are Queens, Black woman; and you deserve so much more than flashy jewels and fly boots.   Take the steps today that will lead to self-employment, secure retirement, and much less stressful, pillar-to-post future.  Invest in land/property/real estate/companies-on-the-move, while you still have the time and available capital to do so.

Stop fronting like a Fashionista Queen and become an Economic Queen, start today.

Just picture your lives with a future of security,  you will be able to afford to splurge now and then because you have  savings and investments working for you. This is not a new concept ......Ladies. Start by read things like "Best Jobs for Women in 2012"

Women of other races are doing it.... So should you! 

Vote Up or Down on our Economy

"A lot of times, people don't know what they want until you show it to them" STEVE JOBS.

What is the most interesting thing ABOUT THE ECONOMY these days? Some would say its the debates of what is not working with the Economy. Others will say its having the Wealth  being  controlled by Bankers and the top 5%. While even more people will say its the Election for the next leader of the Free World..... Why is this debate so complicate for most? Because everyone is not realizing the one thing that makes the World Economy thrive..... its all about "Confidence."  

Allow me to explain.  When I read this book, Influence: How Women's Soaring Economic Power Will Transform Our World For The Better, Author Maddy Dychtwald is a nationally recognized demographer, marketing executive, and entrepreneur. I was struck by the fact that of all the shifts that is currently taking place the one that was created by women’s economic independence stands out in the most compelling way. Which may prove to be its adverse impact on men—their values, their expectations, and their very definition of manhood. 

Boomer women--the first generation of women to enter the workforce and stay in the workforce; is the first generation to build careers like their husbands and fathers--have paved the way by example, demonstrating that gender doesn’t necessarily define our roles in our family and in our life.

“Men are where women were in the 1980’s,” explains Michael Kimmel, a sociology professor at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, and author of Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. "Guyland takes up where Real Boys left off...a must-read for parents, teachers, coaches, young women who are so confused by the guys in their midst-and for guys themselves who yearn to break free of unwritten rules that leave them half a man, rather than a whole person.” Back in the day, women were adding career to their repertoire; today, more and more men are adding care— for children, for aging parents, for communities ills. While some (okay, many) might call men’s engagement on the home front somewhat belated, this overdue participation may, in fact, be setting the stage for the move towards a partnership society.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about some revolutionary “feminization” of men, where they simply swap roles with women, putting on aprons while women wear suits. What’s happening isn’t role reversal: It’s role reinvention. It’s a full- blown paradigm shift, one that gives both men and women more options when it comes to providing for their families and expressing their own talents and strengths. In this new social order, both genders are less shackled by a narrow vision of career success. Men in this new world have more social and workplace support for becoming involved fathers, equal partners in their homes and communities, and more complete people.

This change in the way we live is going on right now, in ways that are so obvious and self-evident that it’s easy to miss just how groundbreaking they really are. Men are reimagining their life just as boomer women shifted theirs twenty or thirty years ago, hoping to create lives that include important responsibilities at home as well as at work.

Case in point: When Myra Strober, a labor economist who teaches at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business, started teaching her course on “Work and Family” in the early 2000s, only a handful of men signed up. Today, men represent 40 percent of her class. Why? “More and more men are interested in being good dads,” she says of her students. “They also want to be good husbands and be supportive of their wives, or they have the kids for  the weekend." 

Let’s not forget that boomer women are the mothers of many of these men who are eager to take on new roles and responsibilities. This redefinition of fatherhood is happening in millions of families around the country, where fathers are spending many more hours with their children every week than their fathers spent with them. We see signs of it all around us as the most high- flying, type- A dads who drop their kids off at day care and duck out for soccer games and growing numbers of dads take paternity leaves, telecommute, or use flex- time.

The solution isn’t a broad political movement toward a new fatherhood, It’s the day-to-day accommodations that men are making, where they’re compromising and adopting new family arrangements that demand more from them at home. And they’re finding they’re actually enjoying it. Because they have shifted some of the Business headaches to their wives. There are more Women in the Business world today on the  Caribbean Island of St. Maarten, (for example) were women are in Key positions. However they are not being paid what men would be paid. More women head Companies in the USA dealing with the day-to-day issues in the Economy, they are not being paid what men were paid.......

Shifting to this new model of fatherhood can be acutely uncomfortable, even painful for some men. And this maybe causing the LACK of confidence in our Economies.   Often, men feel caught between a rock and a hard place, expected to fill the old-time breadwinner role and the new superdad model at the same time, while men are making adjustment, we also know who is making the decisions in our own household. This is scary to many,  the unknown is the new Experience for men as was the going from the household to businesses for women.   Are men still supposed to be the breadwinner? Will their wives think less of them if they step off the fast track? If men are confused, and women are learning these NEW roles, then that surely leads to "LACK of confidence"

If work/family pressure is taking a toll on the kids or the marriage, how can we have confidence in the Markets? And who is supporting their partner best? Many of men witnessed their own mother struggle with the dual responsibilities of raising a family and building a career, and now they find themselves in a similar conundrum. Once again creating LACK OF CONFIDENCE. 

While men in general and fathers in particular are going through a time of ambiguity, the shift in roles is already bringing tremendous benefits to both men and women, however its "work in progress." The more our communities and employers can acknowledge, recognize, and support these changes, already well under way, the more concerns like closing the gender wage gap will have to happen...... Let me be clear WOMEN still EARN $0.80 on the Dollar and in some communities even less. So this shifting is bringing less money into the households, because Men who are now in these rolls are no longer earning the bigger paycheck.  So now how can there be confidence when some Women are not making enough to afford great day care, which also does not allow for saving enough for education for their kids, enacting child-friendly laws and policies, and advancing work- life balance will become family issues, not just women’s issues. However EQUAL pay policies are needed like yesterday.....  There are more single Mothers raising their kids and doing a balancing act of family and careers. As the genders work together to redefine womanhood, manhood, and the family, our children will thrive and our society and economy grow stronger in "The Future." 

But before we get to that point we have to go through great adjustments and growing pains. You may want to read this link The problem: Men are trained to be independent, but women are trained to be inter-dependent. The  "LACK of confidence" in our Economy will be with us for awhile until we make the necessary adjustments.

What are the Right or Wrong reasons for marriage these days?

I'll admit I'm confuse as to Why people rush into  marriage these days! 

I thought I knew the answer years ago.... Now I'm not so sure anymore. If you looked at the Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphrey's marriage which was over lightning-quick then you might look at these Wrong and Right reasons below and realize that you should take your time before jumping the broom. I've considered, Unfortunately,  getting married a few times after my first marriage ended.... simply because I like being in a long-term relationship, however the real test for me is if we can  make it as an exclusive  couple for  2 years or more.... this simply hasn't happened so far.... and that's the truth. So whether you're talking about your first marriage or a second or a third ...... these  (5) Wrong and (5) Right reasons may help you get a realistic picture as to why a strong percentage of all marriages fall apart. 

Wrong Reason #1: Sexual attraction
Too many people confuse sexual attraction with love and that can lead to a short-lived marriage (maybe a couple of years if you are lucky.)  The novelty of being with someone will turn  anyone on in the beginning.  But when the sexual attraction wanes, if there's no mutual trust and a joint view of the future, the marriage fades as well. Sexual attraction between two people is a good thing and energizes the marriage, but if the foundation isn't based on strong communication and shared values, the chances of a long-lasting marriage based solely on animal attraction aren't going to last.

Right Reason #1: You are good at working out your differences.
Research (not mine, because here is where I've come up short) indicates that one common theme among long-lasting marriages involves an ability to work out conflict. All relationships have conflicts.  The couples that can talk out their differences, surmount the conflict, and agree on a compromise  will outlast the couple that can't. The partners that trigger anger and resentment in one another or are unable to talk about their differences often can't sustain marriage, or even a conversation. So work on resolving issues. 

Wrong Reason #2: Escaping the family

Many single young women feel stuck living at home. When a potential mate appears, they often leap at the opportunity to extricate themselves from their parents' home and get engaged and run to the alter. Often it doesn't matter to them if their potential mate is a good match because of their need to separate from their parents. There are many ways to escape a family, start by working on getting  your own apartment and living alone for  awhile, be independent it helps you establish your life's goals. Making a lifelong commitment with someone who isn't a worthy partner isn't the best choice, so take  your time.  

Right Reason #2: Sharing common interests

If married couples share common interests, it cause engender closeness and mutual experiences. Experts say that couples don't have to share all common interests, but having enough of them encourages spending time together, a key ingredient to a successful marriage. Those commonalities can be as varied as spending time with their children, loving travel, following sports as long as they both appreciate something together. OK we guys have mixed feelings on sports, because we may have to explain the plays and can't enjoy the game without you interrupting. But if you can just sit and cheer when we cheer then we are happy to have you watch the game with us. 

Wrong Reason #3: The infatuation syndrome

Too many people confuse infatuation with love, you need to  Overcome the Myths that Hinder a Happy Marriage. Infatuation is for kids not Adults.  Infatuation is defined as a fleeting feeling for someone, whereas love is long lasting and is based on trust and commitment. Infatuation is instantaneous and some experts suggest can be hormonal.  Love has patience whereas infatuation has a sense of urgency and often that urgency fades. When marriages are based on infatuation, the zing is gone in less than no time, and you start  assuming you married the wrong person and start looking for a new relationship..... again.

Right Reason #3: Your partner fills your needs, not your wants

Way Too many people get married for what they want instead of what they need! For example,  many expert suggest making a list and  discussing your  fictional wants with your husband, except this genre doesn't interest him on less he is willing to contribute, so now you know what should be scratched of the list. If you are realistic about your needs he might listen.  To have a solid marriage your needs should be shared needs therefore shared with someone who is reliable, trustworthy, and willing to work hard towards common goals. Marrying someone who meets your needs will  enabled the marriage to last.

Wrong Reason #4: You think getting married will solve your problems

If your mate easily gets angry with you and frequently loses control, it can be a telltale sign that problems in the relationship are right around the corner. But many people ignore the signs. They see signs of troubled behavior but think it will get better when they get married.  Often if this irascible or abusive behavior occurs in the engagement period, it will only get worse after marriage, even if  the person is in counseling or therapy, delay marriage until you see that things are getting better. Some people think they will fix it after they get married..... NOT going to happen.  
Anything that is mildly annoying will become extremely annoying after you say  "I do."

Right Reason #4: Your plans for the future line up

Talking about a couple's expectations of the future is one of the surest ways of making sure you're both on the same page and share common values that can sustain a marriage. Many couples don't talk about whether they want to have kids, (surprises in this area is not a good thing)  where they're going to live, whether they'll be a one or two career household. Some people think things will work out magically when they get married, but that won't happen. The more you discuss your common visions for the future, the greater the chances the marriage will last.

Wrong Reason #5: You're head-over-heels in love

Falling in love, too many people get blinded and don't really get to know their mate.  What really keeps people together is their friendship, intimacy and supporting each other. If you ask yourself, "If I lost my job or had a medical scare, whom would I go to for comfort and support?" that answer might reveal the real love of your life, if its not your mate..... then the answer is clear.

Right Reason #5: You make each other feel special

One factor in successful marriages is making your partner feel special and worthy, particularly for men. Because the friendships men establish often don't have the depth of women's relationships, men depend more on their spouse to feel special. When women say, "I love you, you make my life exciting," or make their mate their favorite dessert, it goes a long way to affirming their mate and contributing to a happy marriage. We men know that we do things in the beginning like bringing flowers and make plans for vacations and romantic dinners as part of the romantic stage. So we need to be encouraged to keep doing it continuously after a few years, that take effort and willingness. 

Honeymoon or Vacation for Two, anyone ?

Common mistakes men make

Some men – not all – have been known to be clueless when it comes to dating a good woman and staying in a relationship with her.  No matter how sincere you are, good women will walk if a man is guilty of any of the common mistakes. Check them out. 

Before we deal with the "Do Nots" you may want to understand a few things.

Fellas: Are you a breast man? Butt man? Or do legs drive you wild? If you appreciate an hourglass figure, smoldering eyes, or humble breasts....... the following can give you hidden clues about your relationship style  based on Research.

Ladies you may also want to read this so that you understand what is happening and why!

If you like her Eyes

Their hidden meaning: You’re probably thinking of how her eyes say “I want you.” So subconsciously, you’re thinking about babies. For example: Men with blue eyes are more likely to be attracted to women with blue eyes.They want babies with blue eyes! 

Your stealth flirtation strategy: Once you catch her looking at you from across the bar, maintain eye contact for a moment longer than you would normally. If she holds your gaze it’s a good indicator she’s down for a drink or two.

If you like her Smile

The hidden meaning: You’re probably thinking of how her smile says “I like you too.” A woman's genuine smile is the one thing that will let you know if you can hold her attention. If you can get her to smile without any effort then you are on a level playing field. Obviously your approach is what will make the difference between her smiling automatically or not. So if she smiles when she sees you,,,, you can at least approach her.

If you like her Breasts

Their hidden meaning: If you like smaller breasts, you may be more likely to settle down. When men are shown pictures of breasts in five sizes ranging from small to extra large, researchers found that men who preferred larger breasts also had lax attitudes toward sex and favored short-term commitment. 

If you like her Curves

Their hidden meaning: When researchers tracked the eye-movements of men looking at photos of women, they found the majority of men looked to the torso first when judging the attractiveness of a woman. The reason: Subconsciously, you’re seeing if she’ll make a good mom. 

If you like Her Body—And Only Her Body

The hidden meaning: If you’re more concerned with her shape than her face, you’re not thinking about settling down. (Surprise!) OK, so you don’t need research to tell you that one. 

If you like Nothing about her

The hidden meaning: If your buddies are drooling at the Tilted Kilt waitress but you’re just asking about the wings, that’s a sign you’re happy with your relationship you are in. (Or maybe you’re just whipped.)

I hope that gives you a little to think about..... NOW lets talk about the Don't.

10 Dating Turnoffs for Women !

Don’t be Overconfident and overbearing

Sometimes this is considered the hardest thing for any guy to do right. Being confident is very important, however if you  look her in the eye with that look that says "are you ready to get it on, right now" she’ll notice right away. Being overly sexed is a huge turn off to women; it either means that you have too much self-confidence  or that you are in a hurry to get her in bed.... before getting to know her first.

Don’t be overly Aggressive

If a Guy thinks a woman likes him he can be pushy at times if they’re looking for sex.  Especially if they are inept at reading the signals women send their way. If you know (not just think) the two of you are in agreement on the sex, then go for it, but leave room for "STOP, I'm not ready." Trying to get naked too fast is off-putting to many women. So, keep calm and carry on with the right moves, the rewards will be all the sweeter at the right time.

Don’t be a Slob, show some class.

Just because Ashton Kutcher and Charlie Sheen can get away with looking like hoboes doesn’t mean you can. Look presentable and have good hygiene. In other words, don’t go into this with bad breath and last week’s laundry or walk around with your pants hanging way below your behind. If your date sees that you’re not putting in the effort to make a good first impression, why should she bother with you?

Don’t be Rude

Be respectful not only to her, but to everyone you encounter along the way. If you’re treating the restaurant staff like trash and insulting them without reason, your date will assume that you’re going to treat her the same way. The last thing any woman wants is to be disrespected or talked down to. Don’t fake it either. If you are an A$$, it may work out for the first few times until she gets to know the real you. So, if you act like this in general, work on changing yourself first instead of looking for someone else to inflict your rude behavior on.

Don’t be Married

OK, I'm not player hating here. One of the worst things to do - EVER - is to lie about being married or separated. Typically, women don’t like being a home wrecker, or discovering that they are one. If you are currently separated, be up front about it. If you’re married, don’t even think about dating. However if you are separated you may be able to convince her that you weren't happy in your marriage so meeting knew people is your way of finding the answers to what you want.... Good luck she might just think you are confused and are not ready to move on! Smart women don't want to be rebound lovers.... 

Don’t be Stereotypical

If you’re on a first date and you say “Oh, so you’re that type of woman”, it’s pretty easy to assume she won’t be back for a second date. Jumping to conclusions about your date from the way she answers a couple of your questions is a 100% full fledged mistake. You have to let her answer the question in her own way before you arrive at any conclusions about her. However if you are stuck on stereotypes and those stereotypes lead to pretty much your stereotypical behavior, then I guess you will find yourself in the same situation, often. Where no matter what.... all women look and sound the same to YOU. 

Don’t be Distracted

Put your cell phone on silent or better yet, turn it off. Checking your cell phone every 15 mins sends the wrong message to your date. It says that you are not engaged in the conversation, which means you’re not interested in her. No one likes to have to fight for attention. Remember your manners. You have to tune out the Instant Mgs and focus on who you are talking to in person.

Don’t Be All Business

Some guys are fantastic salesman or great negotiators, which means they can talk about business 24/7. But, it’s not good to turn your dates into business transactions. There is a time and place to do business, and a time and place for leisure. If things work out with your date, it’s going to be better if she knows she can relax with you instead of being consistently uptight and focusing on the next big transaction. Let me explain.... Women want to know that you are success oriented, but talking about your latest business deals and where and how, can be boring to the lady she may not want to understand all that stuff, instead she may want to know about how you will sweep her off her feet...... 

Don’t Be a Showboat

Maybe you have access to the Company Jet and you just flew in from Italy helping them solve their debit crisis, or have a timeshare in St.Maarten/ St.Martin and you just received a huge annual bonus, don't flaunt your good fortune on your first date. While she might be impressed and all that does sound great, it’s not going to be enough if money is all you have going for you. Also, it’s not good to advertise your material wealth. In order to guarantee that second date, it’s best to let her get to know YOU and not what you own. But if You can afford to fly her to a exotic spot for dinner, she might be impressed to the max. Ask yourself this question however --- So what do you do for an Encore? 

Cruise like a Celebrity to Philipsburg, St. Maarten. 

Caribbean 7-night from $699