4 Ways to turn her on, Location, location, location location

For many women, a simple touch can be an exhilarating turn-on. Blame nostalgia: The mere sight of your fingers at work can evoke deep memories—in backseats, on blankets, and in dark hallways. Sadly, most women complain their men zero in on the sensitive goodies too soon and spend little time exploring other parts of their bodies. That's why I've uncovered the 4 touching tricks to turn her on. When it comes to using your hands, knowledge isn't just power—it's pleasure.

In The Car

A road trip is worth the price of gas if she  can lie back and soak up the attentions of the driver's right hand. You should focus on the road.

You have nothing but time, so take things slowly—this is what she love. For the length of an average song (perhaps "Slow Hand" by the Pointer Sisters?), glide your hand languidly up and down her thigh, Keep it there for a moment. Take in the scenery. Look at that scenic vista. Added value . say Nice things about her, to her, whisper in her ear if possible.

True, you have no leverage. This limits you to gentle touching. She loves gentle touching. A featherlight stroke over her pants makes her nerves stand on end. Resist the urge to delve deeper into areas that may make her : "No not here!'.

I you are lucky. (Okay, it's about time for her pants to come off. And maybe, uh, park—over there, now.)

A dark lounge

A shadowy corner of a swank lounge is the grown-up version of a house parties during high school. Here's one place where making out in public is condoned, if not encouraged. Kiss her neck, nibble her ear, and engage in deep, wet kisses while stroking her lower back and sliding your hands through her hair. If she will let you touch her hair!

Invite her to sit on your lap sideways with her legs crossed. being touched intimately in a crowded bar, with music blasting, a cold drink in hand, and your warm breath on the back of her neck, is a thrill that lasts—and will continue at home. These are apetizer moments.

The Shower

The pillars of female orgasm are rhythm and pressure, which is why they love to climb on top and sort of take over. One of the best ways to replicate that is only possible in the shower, with you providing a sudsy forearm as a hobbyhorse for her to ride on.

But hold on, cowboy. Just because you're both already hot and wet doesn't mean she doesn't need foreplay. I'm sure I'm not the first  to tell you how sexy it feels to have her hair washed by a man. Massaging shampoo into her scalp will release tension and allow her to focus on her body instead of her to-do list. After rinsing out her tresses, suds her up from head to toe. A hypoallergenic soap that won't irritate her sensitive nooks and crannies. Spend ample time on her shoulders, breasts, bottom, and thighs.Encourage her to move against your arm. Ultimately, let her take over, setting the pace and pressure she needs to reach her peak. For maximum pleasure get a spa shower and you both can enjoy the two for one massage, good hands and water jets. This can do so much for you and her.

The Couch

As you watch TV, give her a foot rub that gradually becomes a calf rub and then a thigh massage. By the time your hand is on her thigh, the television should be off and your lips should be on hers. Raise her shirt and kiss her stomach, then head south while working her jeans off her hips.  A recent Australian study found that an oral-manual combination is the surest path to her orgasm.

These four locations, could become your spots where memories are created and can enhance your pleasures just based on those memories. "Remember when we' might just be enough to get things stirring and the preview is swirling in both your heads.



Many women prefer to be stimulated , just by you asking what she likes best. Alternate between oral sex and  two-handed technique until you find out which move makes her crazier than any other.

Romance is not dead as some would have you believe. "come on baby light my fire"

Does your baby have to look like this to set you on 'fire' these days, what if she doesn't can you still get excited about her? with out going to the top less bar and coming home with a boner ready to smack and wax that A$$.

Ladies,If you are  thinking you  wish your guy would find ways to 'light your fire' in a good way. You might want to take a page out of this old player's playbook. I lived in cold climates during my prime time years. I even built a fire place in each of  my 2 homes I owned. My ex-wife claimed she got pregnant  with my first son during one of our special moment in front of the fire place in the first home we owned. When we built the second home I had to have a fireplace (but then we had two sons running around) they needed to go visit Grand-ma often so that we could use the fire place the way we wanted.
The picture shows a fire place  that  looks just like mine which built with  my carpentry skills I learned from my DAD. But I taught myself to be romantic with some help from the female who told me: ' BAD you are so romantic when you are creative.' Fire places with Aroma fire canisters became my signature as a mood setter. here is an oldie for back in the day " Ohio players were the group that came out with a song called "FIRE"
It reflected what was combustible about LOVE  which was passion and sharing body heat.
'The way you walk and talk really sets me off'   was part of   the lyrics that I remember well: this complimented the lady about what it was about her that got your juices flowing and set you on fire. Now you just needed to get her arroused also by being  Romantic and Loving.

check it out the lyrics, I can still here the song in my head right now.
                                 Fire

The way you walk and talk really sets me off
To a fuller love, child, yes, it does, uh
The way you squeeze and tease, knocks to me my knees
Cause Im smokin, baby, baby

The way you swerve and curve, really wrecks my nerves
And Im so excited, child [Yeah], woo, woo
The way you push, push lets me know that youre good
[Youre gonna get your wish] Oh, yeah

Fire (What I said, child, ow)
Fire (Uh-huh)
Got me burnin, burnin, burnin
Got me burnin, burnin, burnin (Yeah)
Got me burnin, burnin, burnin (Yeah)

Woo...hoo...hoo...baby
Start burnin, burnin baby
Ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh
Burnin, burnin baby
Oh, baby

When you shake what you got, and girl, youve got a lot
Youre really somethin, child, yes, you are
When youre hot youre hot, you really shoot your shot
Youre dyn-o-mite, child, yeah

Well, I can tell by your game, youre gonna start a flame
Love, baby, baby
Im not gon choke from the smoke, got me tightenin up my stroke
Do you feel it, girl, yeah

Now no one talks like that anymore. We talk at each other but not to each other.

The 'flame' takes on a different meaning these days. The passion is about fighting about cheating and outside baby mama's and 'why can't you just come home and light my Fire, instead of me having to hear that you were over at  that  B!tch house again'

The TV show 'the game' is about just that.... Ball player and their women having these issues. Folk went nuts when the network canceled  'the game' and insisted that they bring it BACK..

Why? because  in the story lines they are livig these story book lives with the same drama we are dealing with every day. TV gives us an upscale version of our lives of drama. 

Why would I want to relive that mess while I'm watching something that should be entertainment 

I must admit I watch it some times but I'm not living their drama so I'm not affected by it.

This is my version of "come on baby light my fire' 

 It's the 'body heat' that is combustible. Not the fire in the fireplace that is just a mood setter, as is the movie and soft ligtts,  and the right wine and finger food.Soft music.  a little Joe Cocker :  'You are so beautiful to ME'

Try listening to any or all of the following just click and watch/listen to these Youtube videos they just might get you in that Romantic state of mind:

•  I'll be good to you, I Promise" 
• This brother made it real: you just had to listen to the  music and let him help you out when you had to deal with a tough situation
• How do you keep the music playing, how do you make it last 
• On the wings of Love! 
•  I  just want to concentrat on you
• One hundred way to compliment
• Every player avoided the L-bomb back in the day but, had this way to say just listen to 'LOVE ballad' if you want to now how I feel was a classic response to "do you LOVE me" 
• Never knew Love like this before 
• IFonly for one night
• A house is not a home without my baby
• Love come Down was the jam that made fellas look up to see where it was coming from  
• The closer I get to you
• You want me to be Your secret Love
• Endless Love
• Can I take you out tonight
• I think about you even though we have not met
• We brothers are finding out there is nothing better than Love 
• A Younger brother is bring the romance back Superstart Ushers version

• 
  

Ships that Pass in the Night

Out in the sky the great dark clouds are massing;
I look far out into the pregnant night,
Where I can hear the solemn booming gun
And catch the gleaming of a random light,
That tells me that the ship I seek
is passing, passing.
My tearful eyes my soul's deep hurt are glassing;
For I would hail and check that ship of ships.
I stretch my hands imploring, cry aloud,
My voice falls dead a foot from mine own lips,
And but its ghost doth reach that vessel, passing, passing.
O Earth, O Sky, O Ocean, both surpassing,
O heart of mine, O soul that dreads the dark!
Is there no hope for me? Is there no way
That I may sight and check that speeding bark
Which out of sight and sound is passing, passing? 

Paul Laurence Dunbar

The fact that its a Guy that wrote this poem and not a woman makes me pause and question. WHY? 

We fellas hunt at night and don't cry unless we get shot down.  The SHIP that passed you and didn't even acknowledge your existence is not worth crying about. The Ship that blows the horn, is ---- because she is friendly and acknowledge your existence. THE REASON GUYS LOOSE  interest at times is because some woman use banter as a weapon and the guy is thinking what 'the hell is this, will she ever let up.' I don't know if I want to take too much of this. How about saying something nice once in a while..... If you show me your softer side I will cuddle with you, I can give you the support you need. But your actions are pushing my buttons and I'm not a remote control that changes the chanell every time we talk. So ease up on the banter..... It does not work past the first few minutes.

Young Female statement and questions:

"I once read that girls brains are like spaghetti, with all the thoughts mixing together at the same time, and that boy brains are like waffles, with boys only being able to focus on one square at a time. But I've always wondered why a guy will pay attention to a girl one day, then the next act like she's not even there. Since girls are obviously the most attention-drawing thing in the room for boys, why does it take them so long to switch from whatever square they were in to their "there is a female here" squares? Why do they treat a girl like the apple of their eye one day, then ignore them the next?!! Please explain!!

-One who is possibly going to pass into a coma from banging my head on the wall"

Therapist response:

This question is fun, but also tricky. I will do my best.

First of all, I like your analogy, and I think there's some truth to it. In this case, though, I think it's the wrong diagnosis. When guys suddenly act like they can't tell if you are a girl or a chair, it's not because they're having a Brain Attack; it's because of Jerk Disorder, or Congenital Awkwardness Pants. Dudes decide to ignore you, or they are so derpy that they get confused about how to act; they are not literally blind to you. I'll come back to this in a bit, but first I want to make a very general observation:

 Why Guys Suddenly Ignore You

Guys ignore girls because it usually works

When "He is Just Not That into You" There's an opposite-sex corollary to this, expressed to me by a good friend when I was exploring the dating World and I was trying to figure out what was going on with a woman who supposedly liked me. He said, "If you don't know what's going on, nothing's going on." And nothing was.
Months later I received a call from that same woman and she asked why I stopped chasing her, she realized that now the table had turned (she was now willing to meet me half way), I had moved on and had a steady romantic interest. “Sorry I’m NOT THAT INTO YOU anymore” was my reply ( I tried to be as polite as possible.)
What was an initial attraction did not become a romatic  situation, there wasn’t much she could say to change my mind at that point.
Here are the facts if a guy wants to call or text you, he will. If he likes you, he will make the effort. And if he doesn't, that means ‘he's not that interested’.

Don't trip, know how to pick her up and sweep her off her feet.

Fellas, a little planning goes a long way.
In the court of dating, women are judge and jury, but the testimony that they'll hear—mostly from their hearts, but also from their Greek chorus of girlfriends—will all take place out of your earshot. The rules are unwritten (until now), but they are set in stone. Give the ladies a really good reason, however, and they'll toss the tablets aside—along with most of their inhibitions. That's because women want you, the right guy, to make the decision easy. How? By following these simple tips to master the art of flirtation.



1) watch for the signal. i.e. SHE already sent you the Zoolander eye lock, the eyebrow raise, and/or at least two smiles (full, open-lipped, teeth smiles).Go over there and talk to her already. Caveat: There's a small chance she thinks you're funny looking (not funny ), but go ahead, have some balls. She's worth it.


‎2 Convince her Quickly

Once you have the green light, it doesn't matter what you say first. You now have 5 minutes to


 convince her to keep talking. Make the most of it.


3 Obey the 2-Day Rule
If you call within 24 hours, you'll seem desperate. If you wait 3 days, she'll be annoyed that you purposely waited 3 days. So call on day 2.
I was corrected on this one. a female friend told me: The majority of women don't think like that. Women usually want a guy to call them. Only men put rules on when or when not to call, and use the term desperate. If she likes you, she wants you to call. It's simple like that.

‎4 Don't Ask her to Hang Out


When you ask her to "hang out" and it's just the two of us and you don't have a girlfriend (or boyfriend), she will assume it's a date. To avoid confusion, say, "I'd like to take you out" instead of, "Wanna hang out?"

‎5 A smart Man Plans Ahead


If you want to see HER this weekend, call HER by Thursday. If you want to see HER naked tonight, call HER before you're drunk at 1 a.m

‎6 Know When to Quit

If you call HER twice and get no callback, game over. Don't keep calling, e-mailing, or sending flowers. when you do them, SHE THINKS "stalker."

7 Should you panic if  you  drop the L(bomb)? 

here’s no going back after those three little words slip out of your mouth. And according to a new Glamour report, more than half of the 1,000 men surveyed admitted to prematurely dropping the words, “I love you.” 

Infatuation, which is marked by physical attraction and intense chemistry, could play a role. It lowers your inhibition. Think about it like drunk driving: When you’re having sex with someone you can’t get enough of, it’s as if you’re operating under the influence. “Mix that with alcohol and you have a guy who is all too willing to blurt out the L word,”  (Do men fall in love faster than women?)

An “I love you” in this “intoxicated” state could be just that: an expression of a moment—more connected to desire and arousal than the relationship itself. (If you’re curious, here is what sex does to your brain.)

But you’d be surprised how many proposals happen in the bedroom during sex. While that sense of chemistry and attraction is easy to downplay—oh, I was drunk—it’s also what builds a relationship. So if “I love you” slipped out, it’s not to say you’re not with the right person, it just might not be the right time.

A good way to tell you mean it? You want to include her in all parts of your life—and want to be included in hers. If your boss invites you to dinner with his wife and you don’t want to bring yours, something’s missing

8 Have game plan for her BAD mood.

If she’s not happy, you’re not getting anything: attention, dinner, or—most importantly—sex. Time to help her bad mood. According to a Harvard University study, it’s not that tough: Women are happier in a relationship when their partner understands when they’re upset. How come? Researchers believe being in tune with her emotions shows your investment and engagement in a relationship.

But how do you “show you understand?” Follow these three tips

9 Thou Shalt Not Solve
It’s a well-known male trait: You like to fix things. Broken window? I’ll fix it right now. But if she starts talking about her bad day, don’t treat her like a broken window. “Women are more interested in expressing the problem than hearing the solution,”  Listen with open ears and a closed mouth. If asked for solutions, come to the rescue. Remember: Simply expressing her problem to you can relieve her anxiety. 

10 Use a Parallel Situation
Here’s where we’re similar: Both men and women are sensitive to nonverbal cues—if you have a feeling that she’s acting absent or cold, you’re probably right. The trick? Don’t try to warm her up

Instead, use a parallel situation. If you have a hunch her bad day has to do with Karen at work, talk about some of your coworkers’ annoyances, and then ask her about her day. She may be more likely to tell you what’s up if she knows you can relate. If she explodes, don’t worry. Here are 11 Ways to Calm Down an Angry Woman. 

Use the Magic Number Three
“Women are bakers and men are chefs.”  You want the instant gratification—flipping a burger, or knowing she feels better right now. She will set something in the oven, wait, and feel better after some time.

Ask three times what’s going on. If she doesn’t budge, then drop it. “Space is a form of nonverbal communication,” says Salem. Use it wisely. Asking too many questions can push her deeper into a well of denial or depression. She might defer talking until a later time. Let her. She’ll appreciate you waiting to talk when she wants to.

This info came to me  as a result of many years of me F****UP and still living to talk about it..