"The Single-Married Woman…… She Does Exist." Yeah, it’s an oxymoron, however we all know folks dealing with this status.
While growing up I had a hero, someone other than my Dad. He was a close family friend. This gentleman treated me like his son, maybe because he only had daughters. He was a dedicated father and husband that was at home every night, Never drank Alcohol with the fellas, never gambled, never did anything that would make you think he was living a double life. But the signs were all there but no one saw them. I sure didn't. His wife was the great Pretender, as I later found out, so was her husband. He had a routine that never made anyone question his behavior. He was home by 4pm every day of the week from work. Had his dinner by 7pm and went to bed by 8pm, in a separate bedroom. Here was that one thing that would make anyone think. He got up at 3am and went to work everyday including Saturdays. His wife had her own life , her own profession (made her own money). But something was missing in this marriage, they did not sleep together, because Mr. Perfect had another family,he was leaving one home at 3am and going to his other family.
As a man who ran his own business, he set his hours to fit his lifestyle.
How did I unravel the story, as a teenager. Being a player at a young age. LOL. I would walk girls home after school carrying their books and talking up a storm.This one afternoon as I was walking this new girlfriend home. I got busted by, you guess it, Mr. Perfect. He was coming out of an area that just did not make sense to me that he would be in that neighborhood. He looked at me and my heart skipped a beat. he never said anything to me, Not "what are you doing in this area," not "aren'tyoufar away from home," not "what are you doing talking to this girl." Nothing!
I thought I would hear it from my mother when I got home. because I was later than normal, I hesitated going home right away. But is was our secret. Mr. Perfect was the one who got busted. And he knew it. So making an issue would have exposed his double life to others.
I found out years later that he father at least one more daughter who blessed him with a grandson, who grew-up and became a doctor. Just in time to tend to his dying Grand father.
So I saw first hand that someone close to my family was "Married in public and Single at home." I always thought that they slept in separate bedroom because he snored really loud. But that wasn't it. His wife would keep up the pretense just as long as he came home every night and no one would see that she was "The Single-Married Woman"
Many couples these days have so many different stories, check out this Trailer.
If he's unhappy with his wife, he'll cheat, right? Not necessarily. According to a Rutgers University study, 56 percent of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages. They're largely satisfied with all they have and aren't looking for a way out, yet they still find themselves in bed with other women—and in hot water with their wives. Here, experts explain this phenomenon and dispel other popular cheating myths.
Fact #1: Most men are still in love with their wives when they cheat.
Men who cheat haven't fallen out of love; they've become unsatisfied with the current state of it. "Cheating usually occurs in the phase of companionship love, when couples begin to settle down, have kids and solidify the life being built together," says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. While they're fulfilled in some areas, like being a provider, the romance may be missing. "We more often think of women complaining about a lack of romance, but men feel it, too," says Dr. Brosh. "They frequently suffer in silence, believing they can't get what they want from their spouses." To avoid this in your marriage, plan nights out together, set aside time for sex and discuss hopes and dreams—not just workdays and your son's last soccer game.
Fact #2: Men usually cheat with women they know.
Cheaters don't generally pick up random women in bars. "My first husband cheated on me with a childhood friend," says Diane from New York City. "His family was close to her family, so they never lost touch." Intimacy expert Mary Jo Rapini explains, "A lot of women think that all cheating women are floozies—not true. The relationships are usually friendships first." A good idea: Make sure your husband feels more connected to you than to his business partner. "Spouses go to work, take care of their kids and do separate things at night. That has to stop," says Rapini. She suggests always going to bed at the same time and cuddling. Fact #3: Men cheat to save their marriages
"Men love their spouses, but they don't know how to fix their relationship problems, so they go outside their marriages to fill any holes," says licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Mandel, PhD. Men want it all and have the skewed notion that another woman will make the longing for something more disappear. Then, they can live happily ever after with their wife—and their mistress—without confronting the real issues. Fact #4: Men hate themselves after affairs.
You may think of cheaters as men without morals, but while they may like what they did, they tend to despise themselves after their indiscretions. "If he puts his ego to the side, he'll feel like a piece of garbage," says relationship expert Charles J. Orlando, author of The Problem with Women...Is Men. "After all, he's betraying another human being who he claims to care about, so that takes its toll on every part of his psyche." A cheater can feel as though he's failed as a man.
Fact #5: Cheaters often get friskier with their wives when affairs begin.
Just because a husband's touchy-feely doesn't mean his marriage is on firm footing. "When a man starts cheating, he becomes hyperactive sexually," says Rapini, explaining that his sex drive has been awakened, and his wife is still the one with whom he feels most comfortable sexually. If you notice a sudden change in your husband's sex drive, it should raise a red flag. Be on the lookout for the switch to flip off again. "After the affair is solid, he may begin to pull away," says Rapini. Fact #6: Women cheat just as much as men, and their affairs are often more dangerous.
An Indiana University study shows that men and women cheat at the same rate. But "the reasons the sexes cheat are different," says Orlando. He explains women are more likely to cheat for emotional satisfaction. "Online cheating—without any physical contact—is the most damaging type of infidelity," says Orlando. Becoming emotionally invested in another person means you've likely checked out of your marriage. But if it's just sex, it's less about attachment and more about a hurtful mistake.
Fact #7: A wife often knows her husband's cheating.
How could Tiger Woods's ex, Elin Nordegren, and Arnold Schwarzenegger's ex, Maria Shriver, not have known what their high-profile husbands were up to? They probably did, but couldn't bear to acknowledge it. "At one level, I knew, but my denial was so strong," says Lily* from Toronto, Canada. "The pain, had I accepted it at that time, would have been too horrendous, so I had to process it slowly." According to Dr. Brosh, the jilted celebrities were likely doing the same thing: choosing what they could live with for the sake of their kids or to avoid humiliation and the fallout.
Fact #8: A couple will never work it out when the husband is in the midst of an affair.
They could agree to work on things, but it won't matter. If he's still in the throes of a hot, new romance, nothing a woman does will drag him out of it. "He's got such positivity happening, without all the drama that exists in the established relationship," says Orlando. The marriage will likely fail, unless he decides on his own accord that life isn't better with the other woman. So the key is prevention. Continue to be the woman he first fell for throughout your marriage. "Women often turn from a loving girlfriend into a nagging wife. Men aren't attracted to that." Dole out compliments and surprise him with sex—don't just yell at him about that towel on the bathroom floor, suggests Dr. Mandel.
Fact #9: Affairs can sometimes fix a marriage.
Is infidelity the kiss of death for a couple? Not always. Although a new relationship is exciting, "an affair can rekindle the marriage," says Orlando. "Men realize who they want for the rest of their lives and that the new relationship isn't as perfect as they thought." But think hard before returning to a cheater. "Flings can highlight how little self-control someone has," explains Orlando. Still, if it was truly a one-time slip, it's possible to get back on track.
Fact #10: Even after rebuilding the marriage, a husband may still miss the affair.
Sadly, he might love his wife and want to salvage the marriage, but he doesn't totally forget about the affair. "He might miss the great things about the other woman—fun, zero responsibilities, sex, the rush or the chase—but oftentimes he misses how he feels about himself when he was with her, which is more damaging if he's trying to return to his marriage," says Orlando. Again, acting as you did when the relationship was new could help.
Fact #11: A cheater knows he's hurting the woman he loves, tearing his family apart and sacrificing his honor.
A man may realize the negative impact on his wife, family and himself, but still continue an affair. How? "It's all in the perception of the cheater," says Orlando. "If he feels unwanted, undervalued and taken for granted, his personal needs of being wanted, valued and appreciated will win out."
Fact #12: The wife is not to blame if her husband cheats on her.
Realize this: If your husband is unfaithful, it's not your fault, no matter what people say. "When a man cheats, he's making a conscious choice to do it," says Dr. Brosh. "The idea of being pushed into the arms of another woman is an expression, not a reality." Orlando echoes this sentiment: "Men don't cheat because of who she is; they cheat because of who they're not," he says. "The 'fault' is that the signs of disconnection have been ignored by both parties."
In the end we men just need to declare that we are sorry then say "Here I am
I decided to do some research just to see if what I'm thinking is what experts say is the normal re-action we men have when we read a Ladies profile on Social networks and online dating sites. You might disagree with what you read in the following 10 point, but I have to tell you coming from a male perspective I have to concur with most of these, if not all.
If you thought the competition was stiff finding a job? It may be even fiercer
to find a mate online. A recent study by MBAPrograms.org found that over
49 million people per month look for love on eHarmony and Match.com
alone. Much like HR directors men go through resumes looking for reasons to
remove you from the running, potential mates scan dozens of profiles and
easily can be turned off. Here are statements women often make in their profiles
that chase away eligible bachelors.
What men really think of your online dating profile. Men read between the lines to find their version of the real meaning of what is being said.
1. You say: I want a financially secure man. He hears:I'm not financially secure, and I believe men should take care of women.
"Is she looking for a sugar daddy?" asks Eli*, a 41-year-old from Orlando, FL, who's used online dating sites. You may only mean you don't want a financial wreck for a boyfriend, but this request is a red flag for men. "People who live a comfortable lifestyle want someone who can do the things they do, but it's not necessary to say that outright," says eFlirtExpert.com founder Laurie Davis, whose book, Love at First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating, is due out in 2013. Instead, Davis suggests searching for people within your income bracket (which is an option on many sites, though a study by dating site OkCupid revealed that people typically inflate this number by 20 percent) or looking for other clues in their profiles, such as similar favorite travel destinations.
2. You say: I want an honest man. He hears: I've been burned, and I have major trust issues.
Isn't everyone looking for someone honest? "You're not going to scare off the liars," cautions Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach and author of I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating. You might, however, scare off an honest man who fears you're carrying baggage from a previous relationship. "Good guys may think you sound angry and bitter," says Katz. You'll need to look for other clues, like whether he contacts you when he says he's going to, to gauge trustworthiness.
3.You say: My kids are my world. He hears: I don't have time for you.
If your world revolves around your child, where would a guy fit in? That's the question Davis and Katz both say men ask themselves when you emphasize your relationship with your kids too much in your profile. Katz suggests showing, and not telling, that you're close to them by giving an example of something you do together. "Use one sentence to describe what you do for your children, like throwing a birthday party for your 13-year-old or playing Legos with your 3-year-old." No doubt your kids are an important part of your life and you want someone who respects that, but Katz says, "Don't spend more than one or two lines on any topic."
4. You say: I'm young for my age. He hears: I'm older than my profile says, but you won't date me if I tell you my real age.
"It's a little 'thou doth protest too much,'" says Katz. "It comes off as defensive, insecure and trying too hard." Rather than worrying that your age doesn't accurately reflect you, use examples of activities or hobbies that illustrate your youthful side. You want someone whose lifestyle complements yours, not someone fixated on the birth date on your driver's license.
5.You say: I'm independent/driven/ambitious. He hears: I work 60 hours a week, teach yoga on the side and am taking classes to learn seven different languages.
Women tend to use words like "independent" and "ambitious" to prove they're not clingy and have their own interests. But our experts agreed that they make men wonder if you have room for them in your life. "The best profile indicates what the reader gets out of being with you," explains Katz. Give examples of trips you've taken or weekend activities you enjoy. These show him you have free time and that you use it to have fun. Online dater Eli suggests saying you're equally passionate about your career and maintaining relationships outside of work. "I think it's attractive that a woman has achieved professional success, but I want to know that she hasn't done it at the expense of her personal life."
6. You say: I'm extremely picky. He hears: I have unrealistic expectations for potential partners, and it's unlikely that you'll make me happy.
Men fear rejection. Telling him right off the bat that you're fussy significantly decreases the chances he'll contact you. "Men are going to be too intimidated to reach out," says Davis. While she admits women receive far more messages than men on online dating sites, she warns you may miss out on a guy who otherwise likes your profile but is turned off by your statement. "It shows you're close-minded," says Davis. "Negativity attracts negativity." So keep this one out of your profile and simply screen messages to see if the men meet your standards.
7.You say: Don't worry, we can lie and say we met in real life. He hears: I'm embarrassed that I'm on this dating website and would never want to tell our friends or family. In fact, I don't think I can actually meet you.
"If you feel like you have to say this you're probably unsure about online dating to begin with," says Davis. That means he might worry he'll invest time messaging you only to find you won't meet in person. He's on there too, and likely so are some of your friends and colleagues, so there's no need to be embarrassed. Besides, "starting your relationship based on a lie isn't the best way to begin 'happily ever after,'" says Davis. "If he's willing to hide how you met from friends and family, what might he hide from you?"
8.You say: I'm laid-back/easygoing/down-to-earth. He hears: I don't have strong opinions about anything or I spend a lot of time on the couch in my sweats watching movies,or using my laptop.
The problem with these adjectives is that they can evoke a whole host of images, not all of them good. "Is she so laid-back she's never going to care where we go or what we do?" worries Eli.
"I picture her on the couch in sweatpants with a box of tissues watching Lifetime movies,”"says Christopher, a 37-year-old former online dater from Milwaukee, WI.
"Let me determine if you're laid-back," says David Wygant, a dating coach and author of Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life. Give examples of how you spend your time, he adds. Davis agrees. "The buzz words themselves aren't telling; the activities you enjoy are. That's what will resonate with someone."
9.You say: I'm old-fashioned and have traditional values. He hears: I won't have sex with you until we're married.
Again, you're being too vague. "You could mean you like having the car door opened for you," says Wygant, but men read into this terminology that you don't believe in sex before marriage. Even if you don't, both Wygant and Katz say not to mention it in your profile. Don't worry about wasting your time on men only looking for sex. "These guys always expose their true intentions," says Wygant. How? He'll engage in sex talk right away over email, so watch for suggestive language, recommends Wygant.
10. You say: I want a man to sweep me off my feet He hears: No Blue collar worker need apply.
Again, you're being too vague. "You could mean you like having a gentleman who opens doors for you, and pulls out the chair for you. So men read into this terminology
that you don't believe in dating guys who aren't Denzel Washington Classy.
My quote of the day:
“I always use the
word 'fabulous.' If you know me, you know that when I say it, it's not a
lie. If I say 'that’s nice,' I’m lying.”
If you want to prove you are macho just jump from the edge of space, like Felix Baumgartner,who hit Mach 1.24, or 833.9 mph, according to preliminary data, and
became the first person to reach supersonic speed without traveling in a
jet or a spacecraft during a record 24 mile skydive over the New Mexico
desert.
I have to say I love a thrill as much as the next guy. But this kind of thrill is nuts.
This other dude decide he needed to prove he can walk on water so he tried to crossed the Irish sea.Maybe
this guy just showed us mortals males that if you want to please your
woman you will find ways to do it. Even if it means crossing the Irish
sea to get away from her.
Thirty-five year old Chris
Todd has attempted to “walk” across 106 kilometers (66 miles) of open
sea in a giant hamster wheel-like raft dubbed Tredalo. Unfortunately,
the plan to cross the Irish Sea – leaving from Wales and arriving on the
east coast of Ireland in the South of Dublin – didn’t quite go to plan.
Harsh weather conditions forced Todd to abort the mission after
approximately eight and a half hours and 42 kilometers (26 miles) into
the journey, when he encountered rudder problems.
Trust me he will try again.
What's my point?Men will try things they are obsessed with until they succeed or die trying.
On the other hand women do things like this one come out wearing an outfit that just makes every man in the same zip-code exhale, " Oooh baby"
Malia Jones is a surfer (so she is a risk-taker) I never would have guest it. However she does look beautiful in this gown.
Instant thoughts of "4 Moves Every Man Must know about and Try in Bed" pops into my minds.
Whether you like the slow and steady pace of missionary, or the
exotic view you get when she’s riding you reverse cowgirl, every man has
his favorite sex positions.
Study up, and this could be you big chance.
But when it comes to showing her what you’ve got in the sack, there’s
a time and place for everything. And if you plan on keeping things
adventurous behind closed doors, it’s essential that you go above and
beyond your favorite go-to moves.Master the five moves in this sequence to have the hottest sex of your life—guaranteed. Deciphering what she wants in bed isn’t easy. Especially considering a
recent Johns Hopkins University study reporting that women often
struggle to express what they want in the bedroom, and many even have
trouble recognizing their own sexual feelings.
Great, right? If even she doesn’t know what she wants, is there any hope for us men? Actually, yes.
Give her a hint, say something like: "I will Fly you to the moon and we will play most the stars."
When
she says “don’t stop,” for example, don’t change anything—at all. “When
a woman says, ‘Don’t stop,’ she actually means, ‘Don’t vary what you’re
doing,
What
if she goes mute? You might think she’s not enjoying herself. But
that’s not the case at all. To find out what she really means when she’s
mum in bed,just Google FREE PDF Translate Her Sex Sounds. If She Likes It, Keep Doing It and by all means don't quit.
Updated: Never Stop Experimenting
Her body's sensitivity changes as her arousal level rises. Experiment
and retrace your steps, so that instead of becoming fixated on one
point, you visit a series of sensitive points regularly, Set up simple
codes she can use: "up" or "down" for where to move your hand, for
example. Or ask her, "How's this feel, one to 10?" then vary the
pressure.
Fantasy is for the Lonely
Updated action: She Needs the Distraction
During sex, men focus on the oncoming climax (or baseball stats).
Women's minds wander, often into fantasy. To reach orgasm, she needs to
clear her head and turn off her brain's fear center. Fantasy is a way
for her to disconnect her mind, and it becomes an important part of
deactivating her fear center,you can whisper provocative sentences to
each other in turn, building a story she can get lost in.
Let her Control the Pace
Who should Control the Pace?
Updated action: Let Her Take Over
In almost every culture's history, the man takes the lead in sex. But
that's a patriarchal hang-up, Let her control the pace
and intensity (either initially or totally, depending on the mood), so
that you both know what's best for her. The more fun she has, the better
for you. Encourage her to be on top: It allows her to take advantage of
a full range of positions—facing you, facing away, even sitting
cross-legged on you. There's a lot of value in just being a still
object of resistance,
3. You need to discover "the U spot. "
Erotic Spots are Predictable
Updated actions: Different Touches Bring Different Results
Her clitoris, vagina, and urethra are interconnected, and researchers
believe that stimulating any one of them may contribute to overall
arousal. branching out and teasing what some call the
U-spot—an area between her clitoris and vagina, located near the
entrance to her urethra. Use soft, circular motions with your finger. Urethral nerves are very sensitive, so stimulation here creates a
particular kind of arousal—a soft, melting form of climax, Make sure your hands are clean, though—the area is
infection-prone.
4. Speed Thrills!
Updated action: Slow Down, not so fast Junior.
Pulling back when she's near climax and then resuming can enhance her
orgasm. Suspense raises the psychological arousal level, . Ask her to tell you when she's near the top (yet read the signals), and then pull back
for a few minutes to kiss and concentrate on other parts of her body.
Repeat several times—build up, back off—until you take her over the
edge. Don't fear ruining a moment. It takes 5 to 10 minutes for arousal
to really subside, so even if she thinks she's "lost it," you're
probably equipped to bring her back. And then Bang she hit that high note and shatters your glasses.
As a man and husband to the same woman for 25 years and a personal Fitness trainer. I have talked to many women who have issues mainly with their personal body weight and body shapes. I have decide to do this blog on 7 point that I see as problems that can be solved , this may help a few of you to understand what a man sees, but he may not talk to you about it.
1. Don't Talk Yourself Out Of What You Need
It's too easy for women to convince themselves to settle for less. You're so helpful and accommodating, so eager to please and afraid of rejection that You're quick to give up the things you need, including when it comes to sex.
What women need to see is that doing this will leave you chronically frustrated. While it's true that every relationship requires a certain amount of compromise, going without the things that women really need just doesn't work. You end up unhappy in the relationship or resentful toward your partner.
The bottom line is, women need to know what they can't live without, sexually or in other areas, and what you just can't live with. Women ignore these non-negotiables at the expense of a fulfilling personal life. 2. Share Your Needs And Feelings With Your Partner
If you can't ask your man for what you want in bed, you shouldn't be sleeping with him. Good sex happens when women feel safe and at ease. If women are afraid to ask for something or to tell their partner that they don't like something, sex will never be more than mediocre.
This second tip follows from the first one, in that once women identify what they want and don't want, women have to express these things clearly. It's unfair to expect your partner to be a mind-reader and "prove" that they care for you, and most importantly your happiness, by somehow knowing what women want without you having to tell him. Healthy sex comes out of healthy communication.
3. Accept Your Body As It Is Now
Women need to be in touch with their bodies; with what feels good, what feels not so good and what feels wrong. Women also really need to stop judging themselves in terms of their weight and their shape. Only a superficial dope would give herself a hard time over her imperfections. If someone makes you feel bad about your physical self, this is more a reflection of his inadequacies than of yours, Ladies.
Your negative self-talk has to stop. The running commentary on how fat you are, how much cellulite or how many wrinkles you have is guaranteed to kill the mood, often before it even starts. Feeling good about your bodies is crucial if you're going to let go and enjoy yourselves. Being physically self-conscious will keep women from experiencing the joyful abandon of great sex.
4. Never Refuse Sex As A Punishment Or Use It As A Reward
In the bad old days, some women were led to believe that the way to get a man to toe the line is to offer sex for good behavior or withhold it when the man has displeased them. Most of us today recognize this as hateful behavior and a recipe for disaster.
Men don't want to be controlled or punished, especially around sex. We don't want to be made to feel like little boys. When women are hurt or angry at their partners, They need to share their feelings with him in an adult way. Women can even say that they are too upset for sex, right now. What women mustn't ever do is make us feel like we're deciding when we get to have sex, based on whether we've been "good" or "bad."
On the other hand, using sex as a reward turns women into sex objects and makes sex into a commodity for your partner to "earn." It's no longer two people being intimate or enjoying each other. Commodifying sex makes it into a business transaction and our bodies then become objects for trade.
5. No Pets In The Room ( this is my biggest Pet peeve)
You might love Fluffy or Rover, but they don't belong in the bedroom when we're being intimate. Your pets are very territorial and could get jealous or want to play, too. Dogs might bark or even growl. Cats might jump onto the bed and start walking around. You can avoid these disasters by remembering to shut the door and leave your four-legged friends outside. 6. Have A Sense Of Humor
Sex is about connection and intimacy, but also it's about having fun. It can be mind-blowingly great or occasionally, things can go wrong. Having a good sense of humor about sex will keep things in perspective.
Being able to laugh at yourselves and at the comical aspects of sex will take the pressure off the whole experience. We might love and adore our partner, but we don't have to be so serious about making love to them. Humor relieves pressure and is a great way to connect. Hit him with the pillow and watch him react, with that look, Oooh she is in the mood.
7. Enjoy The Give And Take
The best sex is the kind in which each person is trying to please the other one. The sharing in sex is one of the things that make it great. It can be technically amazing, but when one person gets the impression that the other person really isn't there with them, it can ruin the whole experience.
What makes someone a fantastic lover is not their technical ability or their repertoire of moves but their attentiveness and their efforts to make their partner happy.
When both people show that they really care about meeting their partner's needs, sex becomes something wonderful. You will be experiencing that Oooh, Aaaah feeling continuously.
The following are a few things I have learned over the years. Don't ask me how many years , because that will reveal that I'm a dinosaur.I've spent many moments talking to women about their relationships with other guys over the years, simply because I'm easy to talk to. While many ask my advise they also told stories that I found fascinating.
A woman with Skillz, seldom tell her stories with details.
Sometimes a woman casually refers to things like "twisting the tiger's tail" or "resonant orgasms" as if her girlfriends know exactly what she means. (Many of them won't betray ignorance but will say things like "Oh, yeah, twisting the tail, love it," then Google the technique later.) In this way, their talk functions like a Tupperware party: A leader spells out tips for her crew, and the pointers trickle into the homes of many. It's a pyramid system of carnal knowledge.
If, however, they try something on you fellahs, that's obviously newly acquired, and grimace as if she were assembling an Ikea Armoire from 18 pages of diagrams, you should feel free to gently show her how to do it better. Or in some situations just let her off the hook (she does not know what she is doing) and into the next activity.
In terms of skills, it's true, there's the occasional superhero who lifts cars with a finger and flies over tall buildings (or however that translates sexually). That man who lets a lady go first, or who can go again and again, and then again, or who is diabolically dexterous, is welcome at her dinner table.
But a skill or a tool without a heart behind it is worth nothing. In all honesty, women talk more about a guy in general, soulful presence in the office than they do about how fast and accurately he creates a spreadsheet.
If you've got a new skill, by all means, break it out. But do so with respect for the mood, and for her reaction; if it's not working, let it go.
The Naughty Story
Often a woman will tell a friend a kinky story piece by piece, gauging her listeners, pulling back if she senses disapproval, and elaborating if she perceives approval. She'll be bragging as much as trying to figure out if what she did was night or even legal. This reminds me of being 10 years old and eating an ant on the playground for a dollar bet; it took many telling of the story, testing my listeners, to determine if I was being cool or I was a loser.
That's because inside each one of these argyle-sock schoolteachers, there's an Amsterdam hooker wearing a gold thong and suspenders. Inside her is a office-suited librarian re-shelving books of 18th-century poetry. And inside of her is an 18-year-old Iowa cheerleader on some sinful mission in her Chevy Corvette. And at the heart is Eve, barefoot in an orchard.
Like a set of Russian dolls.
It's not just that society likes to get two antithetical things from women; women want to be two antithetical things. This results in a kind of organic and fun schizophrenia. And if you can just go with it, everyone might be very happy.
They hash out the naughty stuff with their girlfriends because even a hedonist occasionally feels an amphitheater of superego judges watching her. And then they have a crisis of confidence about whatever lascivious thing we\they've done: She knows she did the beautiful, raw, rude, ecstatic thing, but did she do the right thing?
If they go out on a sexual limb, it's amazing when you assure her it was worth it. Tell her you loved it. In 5 minutes, then tell her again.
Debacles and Damage Control
She drunkenly wet the bed. You pull out your house keys and Viagra spills like candy all over the floor. She finds a scarlet negligee on the bathroom doorknob, an earring glittering in the sheets.
She's going to talk about it with someone . She can talk about it with her friends, or with her mother, or on her widely read blog. So it never hurts for you to be the one to bring it up, make light of it if necessary, or gain back her trust if possible, because then you might be the only one she talks to about whatever happened.
Morality
We Men might be confounded by the Victorian lace of logic women cite in the average sexual anecdote: If you likes doing that to her, then she LOVES it, and if you love it, then it's all she wants; but if you don't really like it, she can't enjoy it knowing that you're not enjoying it.
If women get a faraway, concerned look in her eyes at some pivotal moment in bed, she might be thumbing through a virtual, heirloom manual of dirty etiquette in her head, looking for the chapter on whatever she is about to do, or what she just did, or what she wants to do. Tears may flow be ready to console her. Storytelling 101
What might take a man a minute and a half to tell his friend becomes for a woman an hour-long story. She'll tell her friend everything from what gin was in her martini to whether the guy pulled out her chair to how she ordered her steak cooked, and eventually get to how many times she came, and how hard. This reflects the truth of women's sexual reality: Everything matters. including passing out afterwards, and waking up on a park bench the next day.
Some
girls have all the luck, they just need to be available and a new ring
is put on their finger within a short period of time.
Here are ten possible reasons why your Dude hasn't gotten down on bended knee.
You may want to Grab some booze if you can't handle the truth before you read the rest of this blog post.
Straight From the Sources
A friend of mind recently got married, and the guys got together for some “male bonding.” After a few too many, the gathering turned into a contentious debate, led by the single men, directed at the already married fellas about “how they got lucky” finding the right women. When one married guy responded, especially asking the single brothers who came with women they appeared to be in committed relationships with, “why haven’t you asked her to marry you yet?” I saw some fascinating, and very real, answers. Here are what I listed in this blog to be the top 10 reasons he hasn’t asked you to marry him. 1. You Are Already Playing House
You live together. You have children (already). You share bills. You cook, clean and wash clothes (his and his kids.) Sometimes people even assume you are married although he still tells people you’re his girlfriend. You have essentially taken on traditional wife duties without the title. Why should he marry you ?
2. He's Already Said No, You're Just weren't Listening
I’m very serious about this. Many guys, early in the relationship, have straight up said they don’t want to get married to you. He said something like: "Marriage ain't for everyone!" or "My parents weren't married and I’m doing well!" Or maybe even, "No, Sweetie, I’m not interested in marrying you." But you persisted, thinking you would be the one to change him. Please keep in mind that no amount of love can make someone do something they don’t really really want to do.(not even guilt.)
3. You Are a Liability
I’ve noticed that as men get older, we become more analytical about a woman’s worth. (But get this, not simply her value but her “relative value”.) The guys I know are constantly making subconscious calculations about what’s being offered versus what it’s going to cost them. Do you have excessive debt, several children (not his) or other responsibilities he doesn’t want? Bottom line, most men “hold on an average hand” and only marry when the perception is we’re gaining A$$ets.
4. You Are His Vegas Girl
I hadn’t heard this expression before but once explained, I got it. Think “good time girl.” If you always get the call to hang out with him and his boys, or to accompany him on the business trip to a fun city but you don’t get the invitation to any company events or family gatherings, he’s basically saying, we can have a good time together but it stops there.
5. His Other Woman Doesn't Like You
If he grew up in a household with mama and/or grandma (or big sis, auntie, etc.) at the helm, chances are, no matter his age, those “other” women carry heavy influence on his decisions. If his family doesn’t like you — especially if as a collective they don’t think highly of you — that alone could permanently keep you in girlfriend zone.
6. You Are a Nag, you are bugging almost all the time.
I hate to say this so bluntly, but there is no other way to explain it. If your words or actions create constant irritation, there is no way he's going to want to bond with you for life.
7. He Doesn't Respect Your Boundaries
You came into the relationship saying you have rules and standards. He then broke every rule and you lowered your standards to accommodate being with him. Even worse, you never enforced anything you originally claimed you would. At this point, you have created bully material, not husband material.
8. He Is Commitment Phobic
He’s cool with calling you his girl, truly loves you and desires to spend the remainder of his days on this earth with you, however, the discussion of marriage is taking it to a level he is psychologically uncomfortable with. Commitment phobia is a real issue I’ve seen impact many men, especially those with a history of losing a loved one early in life. (You are my Lady, be happy with that label)
9. He Doesn't Feel Like You Need Him
Everyone on this earth wants to feel like they matter. The key ingredient in a relationship is taking that thought a step further and knowing that you matter to your partner. If he doesn’t feel like you need him for anything, why would he marry you? 10. He's Simply Not Ready
Getting married is serious business. I applaud those who take time to assess not only if their partner is a good fit, but also if they are mature enough for marriage. Studies show that 1 to 2 years is not only adequate, but optimal for, the dating/courting/assessment period.
If you’re in a relationship less than two years, give him the full 2 years time span.
But then again he might never be Ready, if he tried on a ring and it left a mark he does not like!
Want more sizzling sex? Speak up! Talking during sex can boost your sexual satisfaction.
However watch what you say. you can blow it with one sentence. which will leave you wondering. Why is it game over?
And it’s not just sexy words and phrases that do the trick—nonverbal communication like moaning can also make you and your partner happier and hornier in bed.
You want to do everything possible to avoid SPOONING
OK, so this isn’t exactly shocking news. Would you want to romp around with a quiet, motionless corpse all night? I don’t think so. But this new information drives home the point that passion is hot—especially for her. Whether you moan, grunt, or even just whisper in her ear, any sort of communication can rile her up,
Well, someone needs to work on his communication skills. if You are a guy.... Never ever say any of the follow 8 things:
She is looking forward to a good time and you say.
1 "Wow, you really need to workout, and loose some weight"
2 "let's do this move that my ex and I always do."
3 "You know I can tell when you're faking it right?" "Um, you were faking it." "Right?"
4 "Who's your daddy?"
5 "It feels better without the condom. You sure we can't just skip that part this time, I know it's our first time together?"
6 "Sooo... have you ever heard of this thing called the Gee Gee sleeve?"
7 "Good job kiddo!" followed by pat on her butt.
8 "I can't wait to pull the cover off your widdle biscuit." "cover meaning panties"
Keep in mind: not all sex talk is created equal. That’s why I've asked women I know for the all-time-worst things they’ve heard uttered in the sack. Ladies, I appreciate the info, and gentlemen, take note—may you never let the above bedrooms turnoffs leave your lips asking What did I say wrong, why are you getting dressed?
Give her a hint, say something like: "I will Fly you to the moon and we will play most the stars."
That's because inside each one of these argyle-sock schoolteachers, there's an Amsterdam hooker wearing a gold thong and suspenders. Inside her is a office-suited librarian re-shelving books of 18th-century poetry. And inside of her is an 18-year-old Iowa cheerleader on some sinful mission in her Chevy Corvette. And at the heart is Eve, barefoot in an orchard.
Getting married is serious business. I applaud those who take time to assess not only if their partner is a good fit, but also if they are mature enough for marriage. Studies show that 1 to 2 years is not only adequate, but optimal for, the dating/courting/assessment period.
7 "Good job kiddo!" followed by pat on her butt.
