Still waiting on your ring?

Some girls have all the luck, they just need to be available and a new ring is put on their finger within a short period of time.

Here are ten possible reasons why your Dude  hasn't gotten down on bended knee.

You may want to Grab some booze if you can't handle the truth before you read the rest of this blog post.

 Straight From the Sources

A friend of mind recently got married, and the guys got together for some “male bonding.” After a few too many, the gathering turned into a contentious debate, led by the single men, directed at the already married fellas about “how they got lucky” finding the right women. When one married guy responded, especially asking the single brothers who came with women they appeared to be in committed relationships with, “why haven’t you asked her to marry you yet?” I saw some fascinating, and very real, answers. Here are what I listed in this blog to be the top 10  reasons he hasn’t asked you to marry him.

1. You Are Already Playing House

You live together. You have children (already). You share bills. You cook, clean and wash clothes (his and his kids.)  Sometimes people even assume you are married although he still tells people you’re his girlfriend. You have essentially taken on traditional wife duties without the title. Why should he marry you ?

2. He's Already Said No, You're Just weren't Listening

I’m very serious about this. Many guys, early in the relationship, have straight up said they don’t want to get married to you. He said something like: "Marriage ain't for everyone!" or "My parents weren't married and I’m doing well!" Or maybe even, "No, Sweetie, I’m not interested in marrying you." But you persisted, thinking you would be the one to change him. Please keep in mind that no amount of love can make someone do something they don’t really really want to do.(not even guilt.)

3. You Are a Liability

I’ve noticed that as men get older, we become more analytical about a woman’s worth. (But get this, not simply her value but her “relative value”.) The guys I know are constantly making subconscious calculations about what’s being offered versus what it’s going to cost them. Do you have excessive debt, several children (not his) or other responsibilities he doesn’t want? Bottom line, most men “hold on an average hand” and only marry when the perception is we’re gaining  A$$ets.

4. You Are His Vegas Girl

I hadn’t heard this expression before but once explained, I got it. Think “good time girl.” If you always get the call to hang out with him and his boys, or to accompany him on the business trip to a fun city but you don’t get the invitation to any company events or family gatherings, he’s basically saying, we can have a good time together but it stops there.

5. His Other Woman Doesn't Like You

If he grew up in a household with mama and/or grandma (or big sis, auntie, etc.) at the helm, chances are, no matter his age, those “other” women carry heavy influence on his decisions. If his family doesn’t like you — especially if as a collective they don’t think highly of you — that alone could permanently keep you in girlfriend  zone.

6. You Are a Nag, you are bugging almost all the time.

I hate to say this so bluntly, but there is no other way to explain it. If your words or actions create constant irritation, there is no way he's going to want to bond with you for life.

7. He Doesn't Respect Your Boundaries

You came into the relationship saying you have rules and standards. He then broke every rule and you lowered your standards to accommodate being with him. Even worse, you never enforced anything you originally claimed you would. At this point, you have created bully material, not husband material.

8. He Is Commitment Phobic

He’s cool with calling you his girl, truly loves you and desires to spend the remainder of his days on this earth with you, however, the discussion of marriage is taking it to a level he is psychologically uncomfortable with. Commitment phobia is a real issue I’ve seen impact many men, especially those with a history of losing a loved one early in life. (You are my Lady, be happy with that label)

9. He Doesn't Feel Like You Need Him

Everyone on this earth wants to feel like they matter. The key ingredient in a relationship is taking that thought a step further and knowing that you matter to your partner. If he doesn’t feel like you need him for anything, why would he marry you?

10. He's Simply Not Ready

Getting married is serious business. I applaud those who take time to assess not only if their partner is a good fit, but also if they are mature enough for marriage. Studies show that 1 to 2 years is not only adequate, but optimal for, the dating/courting/assessment period.

If you’re in a relationship less than two years, give him the full  2 years time span.
But then again he might never be Ready, if he tried on a ring and it left a mark he does not like!