Who is really your type?

I have a simple philosophy when it comes to making choices, First I think about it one way then I think about about it in the complete opposite way before finally jumping into something.  Here are 3 example that have long term ramifications if you are just jumping into a relationship without thinking.

1.) Are men over 40 better dressers and better lovers than younger men? 

And do they treat women better? 

If you’re an older woman who is dating younger men. Is that really who you want as a long term partner? There are many women now in their late  30s to middle 40s who are excited by the idea that a younger man might find them sexy and even desirable enough to walk down the ail with them after saying the "I do(s)."  

 Reversal of the once older men with younger women.
 Cool, this might workout for a few women, but many might find it problematic as time passes. Women are naturally competitive and the older they get the less secure they will feel that their Lover-boy will stay faithful, as the new 20 something female  at work start making moves on the guy of their choice,  that is now thinking to himself. " I'm now the older man in this mix."
 I'm not here to say this will happen, I'm only stating that the choices you make now may be the not so right choice down the road and around the bend. You can't see the end of the road now because the road is not straight it has a few twist and turns ahead.

2.) So is  your preference an older Gent?

You are  a young and very sexy women, you might be able to easily hookup with  that older dude without much effort. He has all the attributes, he is stable,  still good looking, has a sense of style and good sense of humor,  that most women see as distinctive. Your Daddy in is 30s (picture) looked this good, now you meet a guy in his 40s and he looks as good as Daddy did 20-25 years ago. he works out regularly, keeps his weight under control, and still plays a little basketball with the fellas, can walk into a Jazz clubs and turn a few heads. He has style and has a command of language can communicate on many different subjects. Has been places that most young women have never even heard about.   He even knows the names of some of the artist that are on the top 10 list of the music charts and watches the "The Voice". So it is all good.
But how long is that going to last before your and his interest start changing because both your  interest will change.
 His ego may say "yes" lets have a few kids together. Lets travel together and do all the things he did before when he was younger with his first Love that didn't last forever after. But now he feels differently because his interest in repeating what he did before, may start fading. Now what are you going to do? think about it.. time is on your side and he may not have as much time to invest in a forever after. but one side note is; you will always be his young beautiful special Lady!  he is a Lion and you are the Kitten.

3.) Lets look at the designer relationships that are going to be fashionable families of the 2050s. You know the one most likely will be multi-racial and multi-cultural. You maybe after all a product of maybe a mix marriage. Parents, Grand Parents, Great grand Parents, stepped out of the normal, marry someone that didn't look like the person next door. So now you are  grownup and Know that the President of the USA was a the first Afro American President, You  voted for the first time, and voted  for something historical and then someone told you that his type and his kids might be in the majority in 2050 in the USA . So this is cooler than cool, it is always great to be part of what might be the group who run things. Your grandparents or parents were the baby-boomers, they ran things when you were born so now you might have kids and grand-kids that will be in the ruling class the controllers of the economic powers of the 21st century. You are even a big fan of the TV sitcom "The Game" the Pits family actually looked like this family (above). "Pitsy," the aging  football player  wide receiver was even lighter in skin color than this dude. Now you have the picture of whats to come. Are you ready for it and are you  Okay with it?
If nothing else you now have  3 examples of what is possible.
Of course you can stick to the normal 1-5 years age difference and the same culture and the same race etc.   whatever choice you make. Choose wisely. 
   

 

Being Thankful can be the key to having a good relationships

Ever wish you and your partner felt closer? Want to relight the fire of love  and affection, morning, noon, and (especially) night? Just adopt gratitude as your attitude.

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy;
they are the charming partners who make our souls blossom.
Gratitude can work better than Viagra at boosting romance. Assuming you're in a committed relationship or even if you are not. Try this together: Each night, write down whether either of you did something thoughtful for the other during the day. You'll find both of you feel more deeply connected and happier with the relationship when either one does something nice, whether you're the giver or the receiver. Since men are mostly  considered the givers, and women the receivers. Neither  should  take it for granted, but show appreciation, and you will see those positive, loving feelings  just kick in for a moment at least. They last from a day to as long as a month! This isn't just my BAD opinion; it's solid science.

Showing gratitude not only will make your partner want to please you (you can  imagine how) but can make you relationship  better. Openly grateful people are seen as more generous and helpful by friends and family. Who wouldn't like that? Learn how to write your way to happiness. Send a note like  "just because, you make me feel special, Thank you"

Beyond supercharging your love life, feeling thankful can also boost your health. Turns out that if you keep a gratitude journal, you're also likely to exercise more, and feel more optimistic about life than if you ramble on about things that drive you crazy or don't matter much. Even better, 15 minutes of daily gratitude can dramatically decrease stress hormones in your body. It's a great way to make you look younger.

I'm  grateful you've read this blog thus far. "thank you." Try  letting your loved ones know what makes you grateful about them. I think you will feel GREAT, and they will appreciate knowing it.

Ladies. Given a choice between flowers and chocolates, which would you pick. ?  Roses fade fast. A box of truffles can disappear overnight (and show up on your hips almost as quickly). How about this instead: Indulge your sweetie, yourself, or your favorite chocoholic with one of these chocolate-enriched, zero-calorie treats. They're original, irresistible, and long-lasting enough to make the next few Days memorable. I did a little research just for grins. read the following:

1. Chocolate Lip Smoothie -- Talk about kissable! Give your poor winter mouth a rich makeover with Ganache for Lips balm. Made with real Scharffen Berger chocolate, each creamy tube is loaded with uber-moisturizing, all-natural ingredients: shea butter, sweet almond oil, vitamin E, and more. Available in flavors that just may put a damper on truffle temptation, like Chocolate Mousse,Chocolate Raspberry and Mint Chocolate Layered Lip Smoothie.
.

Lip smoothie

2. Scent of a Sweetie -- Sure, your one and only may need to be canoodle-close to catch the lingering fragrance of Healthy Sexy Hair's Chocolate Soy milk Shampoo but, hey, that's the idea. Bonus: The ultra-moisturizing formula means you can skip the extra conditioning step.

3. Brownie for Your Body -- How's this for multitasking: an exfoliating "brownie mix" that banishes dead, dry skin cells while it moisturizes and scents every inch. Dark Chocolate Cocoa Bean Shea Sugar Scrub by Shea Terra Organics uses crushed cocoa beans and sugar -- the exfolliant du jour -- to smooth skin, shea butter to moisturize it, and chocolate liquor and vanilla extract to romance the senses.

4. Creamy Skin Surprise -- These body-butter confections not only come packaged in a miniature chocolate box but also look and smell like real white chocolate truffles. Just don't let your sweetheart eat them. Drop one into a hot bath and watch the creamy "candy" melt into a delicious aromatherapy treat for mind and body. Bon Voyage Roman Holiday White Chocolate Gourmet Bath Truffles by Treat.

5. Luscious Times Three -- This three-pack may be the perfect Valentine for members of the never-enough club. The Just Because kit by Philosophy includes Milk Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, and White Chocolate cleansers. Each 3-in-1 formula can be used as a shampoo, body wash, and bubble bath. (Our flavor fave: Dark Chocolate. It smells so good, you won't want to rinse.)

Okay, I know smelling is not the same as chewing, and sometimes there's just no substitute for the real thing. There's also no substitute in Candyland for the flavonols found in rich dark chocolate -- the kind where the label reads at least 70% cocoa. Getting 31 milligrams of flavonols a day can make your look  3.2 years younger. I'll settle for the 0.2 years younger. I don't need to look like I'm in my twenties anymore.

Give her Gifts She Really Wants!

OK fellas let this experienced player help you out... Since I know, you are clueless on this subject.
You know giving her a new hair dryer as a Christmas gift is a "no-no." So what makes an amazing gift? Well, there's a science to the perfect present . Here is the 1-2-3-4-5 Keep It Simple Stupid ,BAD guide to making her happy with you hard searched for Holiday gifts.

1. WHEN NOT SURE ABOUT HER TASTE, GIVE HER LUXURY
Hmmmm! That means something indulgent and a little impractical. It says she's worth digging deeper for. And it doesn't come with a power cord. or confusing instructions, Or needs assembling.

2. IF YOU KNOW HER VERY WELL SURPRISE HER
In a perfect world, every man could walk into a department store and walk out with the purse his girlfriend would have chosen herself. Real-world solution: Ask her to create a wish list on amazon.com (this is my all time favorite)—perfume, purses, books, clothing, everything-—then buy a few items off that list. It's not a cop-out: people perceived gifts chosen from their wish lists as being more thoughtful and personal than presents they hadn't asked for.

3. YOU HAVE ONE CHANCE TO PLEASE HER.
This is where gift giving becomes tricky. We men aren't shy about giving gifts with the hope of receiving sex in return. (Lacy panties, anyone?) If she's a fancy-lingerie kind of woman, that's a great gift. However if you have to beg her to wear lingerie, no deal . A better bet? Buy her a cashmere sweater (for that chilly Christmas night) the color of her eyes, or in a color she frequently wears. It's indulgent—and only for her. That will work.

4. SUIT HER TASTES
The ideal gift reflects insider knowledge about your partner—Lets say, she loves vintage leather purses from Italy. So pay attention—and take notes. Or ask her sister, or her BFF.

5. SHOW SACRIFICE
Sure, shelling out cash shows sacrifice. But the idea is to demonstrate that you care, not to flaunt the size of your holiday bonus.  A gift's price had no influence on a female recipient appreciation. Taking the time to choose—and wrap it —a gift is what impresses her. Tell her about your search, and seal the story with a kiss

Happy thanksgiving. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

Happy thanksgiving  to all my friends in the Blog World. On this day when a few 100 Million people are giving thanks for Turkey , let us not forget in daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy. I'm most thankful for having great and wonderful  friends like you.

Here are few simple tips.

• Fight pain this holiday weekend by sharing a plate of stuffing with your joke-cracking uncle.  laughter—and lots of it—can boost your pain tolerance, helping your body fight disease and infection. and heal a broken heart.Laughing is a workout for your lungs and chest muscles, and it also releases endorphins, which are known to mask discomfort and boost your immune system, researchers say. Many more aspects of holiday cheer—yep, annoying family members included—are good for your health.Laugh at the annoying members with good hearty laughter.That means you actually can leave your mom and dad’s place a healthier, happier guy. 

• Raise fitter kids. Use Thanksgiving as a template for your average Thursday night: not so much the piles of food, but eating together as a family. Frequent family meals mean healthier eating and a lower body mass index in children,by sitting at the dinner table together you can monitor what they eat and how much, make sure to say "enough of that," when they are about to over indulge. 

• Bust stress and worry. Have a chat with your sister if you are blessed to have one—Brighman Young University researchers found that guys with sisters are happier than those without them. It comes down to social support: sisters are better at giving it than brothers. Your sis can suppress your loneliness and fear through conversation alone—no matter the topic. Boy do I know this to be the truth. My big sister is and has always been my rock. Raised by my parents, she is actually my cousin that came to live with my parents before I was born. She had always been there in good time and bad times. Always with a cheerful word.

• Boost your mood. Round up your family’s finest athletes and fling around the pigskin while the turkey’s in the oven. Just 15 minutes of physical activity can boost your mood—backyard football games included.

• Tighten bonds. If the game gets a little too heated with your big brothers—sometimes sports can bring out the worst in competitive siblings—head back in and pour back a pint with him. Siblings with close bonds—no matter the sex—have positive impacts on each other, more so than parents. “No matter how bad a relationship seems, shooting the bull with a beer and light conversation seems to work out the best,”This why I insisted that we have 2 kids to my wife. because I was and only biological child my parents had, however my sister was there to welcome me home and taught me my color and how to tie my shoe laces, and match my clothing. The best part was that she became a teacher and many other benefited from her kindness and warmth and dedication. My two sons have each other and I know they will have each others back and hope that the relationship they've had growing up continues.

I love this quote because it is so true:  by ~Edmund O'Neill
If people offer their help or wisdom as you go through life, accept it gratefully. You can learn much from those who have gone before you.
But never be afraid or hesitant to step off the accepted path and head off in your own direction, if your heart tells you that it's the right way for you.
Always believe that you will ultimately succeed at whatever you do, and never forget the value of persistence, discipline, and determination.
You are meant to be whatever you dream of becoming.

Let's all give thanks for the many good things in our lives: 
As I'm far away from my sonS on this day I realize that, happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Why men are at times very Afraid to Say "will you marry me"

8 things that terrify men when it comes to marriage commitment.

Surprise, surprise! Staying committed to one woman for the rest of our lives isn't a husbands' biggest concern. We did freely choose to get married, after all. But that doesn't mean a man is fear-free about marriage. Issues like putting him second in your life and bashing him with your friends may scare us most. Husbands' fears are rooted primarily in rejection and self-consciousness.  Read on for eight common fears husbands have about marriage, plus expert advice on how to ease them.

1. He'll be on the back burner.

With kids, jobs and more vying for your attention, it's easy for a husband to feel like he's second best, or last on your to-do list. As marriages progress, men often feel that all they're good for is a paycheck.  To remind your husband that he's still important to you, have one-on-one time each day with no talks about kids, in-laws, money or your pet.

·         2. You'll turn into your (or his!) mother.

He loves the charming qualities you possess that remind him of his mom—likes your superhero parenting skills and incredible work ethic—but he doesn't want (or need) two mothers. Likewise, there are probably a few things about your mother that get on his nerves. And many husbands worry their wives will inherit those characteristics. I suggests acknowledging the situation with something like, "I know my mother annoys you sometimes. Let me know if you notice me doing those same things." It's a simple way to allay this fear.

3. You'll talk badly about us with your friends.

Some men .feel  that their wives were using their girlfriends as a sounding board when couples go through a rough patch in their marriage. "While I'm all for a wife having a shoulder to lean on when  fighting with their partner, I hate thinking she's having a husband bashing-session with her female buddies. Our pals are our emotional support system, but running to them after every marital argument usually means you're looking for them to side with you. The problem with that is it reinforces what a 'bad' guy your husband is, Instead, take the issue up with your spouse. You'll learn more about each other and boost your bond.

·         4. You'll use the bathroom with the door open.

Sounds silly, but this is a real an annoyance  for many men. Why? Without boundaries, he may start feeling like you and him are the same person. One of my buddy explained that his wife has made an effort to keep trips to the bathroom separate throughout their relationship. “You already live together—no one longs to be invited in while you grace the porcelain throne.Closing the bathroom door can help you still feel like two separate people." And it's worth the work to keep the allure.Maybe his and hers Master bathrooms are even a better Idea.

5. The sex will stop.

"How do you get a woman to stop having sex? Marry her," LOL. OK that is BAD joke. Although marriage offers security, trust and a deep connection, the downside is it can make you lazy we  assume that  sex would end because "I couldn't imagine my parents or grandparents doing it. I learned after a decade of marriage there's no reason not to make love. "If you're truly committed to making each other happy, sex is how you reward your spouse for putting in effort. But what if you're exhausted? I suggests getting your husband's help with chores by asking him to pitch in when you need him and offering positive reinforcement (hugs, kisses and gratitude) when he helps. Or try being direct with him: "If you give me a hand, we'll have more time for sex later." Wow, I'm in!

· 6. You won't have things in common anymore. 

Chances are, you shared an interest that brought you together, and he doesn't want you to give up that part of yourself. an old saying: "Women marry men in hopes they'll change, while men marry women in hopes they won't change." Knowing this, ask yourself what may be different about yourself since you got married. If you once loved running, why don't you do it anymore? Because other obligations in your life are keeping you from it? Because it's hard to keep up with your partner? Then, remember how much you enjoy your shared interests and push past resistance to do it again every once in a while,  The benefit of reconnecting with your husband outweighs the time and effort it'll take to make it happen.

7. You'll try to change him.  

Just as he fears losing the bond that first brought you together, he doesn't want you to change who he is now. "What you see is what you get" is more than a line . Let me explain:  when you first date each other, you put your best foot forward, and when you relax, every trait comes out more. A lot of women feel that they can change a man, and men rightfully resent that. But there are issues, like smoking, drinking and relying too much on his mother (which is all too common!), that warrant addressing. When suggesting changes, come at him gently and lovingly. If you go after him with what you don't like,(like insisting that he grown up and act his age and not his shoe size) it's sure to backfire. And don't hesitate to seek professional help for those larger problems.

 8. Alone time will be non-existent.

Whether it's to read the paper or watch the game with the guys, he's afraid he'll never have a second by himself as your marriage continues on. It behooves both spouses to enjoy time on their own. If he has a chance to reboot(not just PC needs this from time to time), he'll be a better husband, so it's a win-win for both partners. Sure, you may resent him when he's playing golf instead of helping you with the kids, but it only benefits your marriage when he comes home rested and relaxed.You're only as good to the people around you as you are to yourself. So be sure to do what you love on your own or with your friends.

I tried thinking of a few more but I think 8 is more than enough for women to see why men could have serious reservations on this subject of marriage.

Make the Romance last all night!

“Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.” ~Thomas L. Holdcroft

All of us have dealt with challenges from time to time. How we see the result of all the sacrifices as worth it or not is all in how we see ourselves, as victims or  survivors.   

These thoughts come to mind when a man invites a lady over for a cock-tail .

Man's thoughts: 

I need to be Bigger, firmer and stronger.

I need a substantial increase in my sex drive.

I need to  grant sexual satisfaction to my partner.

I need to feel likeI have absolutely nothing to lose. 

Many will give you advise about foreplay.... I'm here to tell you that you can get the romance going with simple old school technique. Put a good musical play list together, some food and some thing to drink. that will set the tone and make you partner feel comfortable that you are not applying any pressure.

Open the door with:

Hey, Hey Girl how are you doing? My name is --------  last name ------------.

Come on in. I'm Just playing  a little old school music. to set the mood just right.

 

Oooh come on and dance with me and rock me! You know I know how to do it right

This is the BAD way of setting up a romantic evening. I just want to get you in a good mood. 

Dancing with you just makes me feel Brand new. Here we go, I so wish you were mine. 

In the end we can just KISS and say goodbye.

 

 I  will make sure you will be smiling as you fall asleep in my arms.

Try this Playlist maybe  you'll avoid saying the following

 

 

 

 

 

 

How does Pornography Rewire Your Brain‏!

  Is Porn Really Bad for You? REAlly?

I was 15 years old when I discovered my father's porn collection. It was after midnight, a school night; It was in his private bookcase. Books? Yes,-I use to hear  people say; "if you want hide something put it in a book." these were pocket novels,  there were no pictures, just  descriptions. So I had to read it to imagine it and visualize what was going on. So sex was about how good an imagination I had at that stage of my life.
I let myself just imagine being the guy in the novel, assuming he  was this stud that could make a woman scream in ecstasy, I found myself feverishly masturbating to the images in my mind. These were moments that was ingrained in my brain  for years.    I was perched, naked, in my bed , which I had covered with one of my mom's best large beach towels,which I tossed in the washing machine after to be washed, if I had to change my sheets my mom might figure out what I was doing. Since I grew up close to the  ocean, having a beach towel needing  to be washed was normal because I went swimming very often after school. Porn in my young brain was what  I use when I had sex with girl later in my teenage years it made up for my lack of experience.
Shortly afterward, my mom  discovered my new hobby,  I branded pornography as the forbidden, but thrilling hobby— perhaps all men's—had these same vice, because I saw it as my dad's reading material of choice. I could now understand why I suddenly could not see a girl in scanty clothing (mini skirts) without picturing her in my bedroom, for years, my desire for the naked pretzel women, contorting into yoga like poses just waiting for me  to bring them pleasure . My Dad's  porn habits was not anything I thought about because he read a lot of books  and would read before bed every night, and often woke up very early and killed time reading—which, my mother later told me, spanned my parents' entire 45-year of  marriage—seemed to be worth more to him than watching TV. Reading became fundamental to me as a way to expand my knowledge and make my imagination and creativity grow. As an adult I've watched hard-core porn multiple times but I'm not obsessed with it, because the movies that I created in my brain for years are just waiting for me to hit the replay button. But years later, in a scene from the film I watched with a girl friends—a woman bent over, her pointy breasts swinging like pendulums as the stud was banging her from behind —surfaced in my dream multiple times. It reignited that once you see it or imagine it is there for ever until you find a way to erase it. Does porn somehow invade the deepest recesses of men's minds? Or women's? And if so, does every man carry a mental cache of un-erasable erotic images. (Is erotica making you crazy? Discover the surprising link between depression and porn.)

As an adult, these imagination have carried over into my relationships; even a Victoria's Secret catalog seems like it can get my imagination rolling, like a gateway drug to cruder desires. I know intellectually that porn addiction is actually quite rare. That most men can look at it and still lust after live, breathing, imperfect women. Yet I still have a nagging fear that the naked images will fade from my mind and I will have to settle for just reality. That will cause a serious depression in my case.
 I didn't  spend hundreds of hours sifting through various studies  in an effort to find out what motivates us mortal men, what penetrates our  brains. And the more I've learned, the more my earlier views seemed oversimplified.

Part of my job is to equip businesses with solutions for problems giving them data they need to improve their businesses  bottom line - profit.Yet my understanding of pornography—a part of most men's sexual repertoires, I know—was shaped entirely by my personal  experience, where imagination was what made it exiting.


So I turned to science for answers. And as I dropped references to this story among my Martian friends, they were fascinated. Turns out, I'm not the only one who wonders what life in the age of porn is doing to us.

Imagination is not necessarily what excites us, when we can just flip to the soft porn TV channel or insert a DVD, or find the porn-site on our laptops. - I just remember a funny story, when my ex-wife accused me of using  the family PC to watch Porn, I had a laptop, so  why not use that PC?She was browsing through the history on the sites  visited. It turns out my oldest son had been busy. Some porn-site automatically open a new sites, as he would click on the close button of the site he was viewing. So my poor son was trying to get out of sites one after the other and they just kept opening new ones until he turn the PC off. LOL. I can just imagine what he was going through his head, he knew that his Mother snooped to see what the history of usage was (maybe she was trying  get evidence that I was up to no good and maybe Cheating on her.) So when I asked my son about it, he fessed-up. I had to smile because I  knew that his panic was traumatic enough punishment.  He relaxed when he saw me smile.Why scar him for life by grounding him? My wife disagreed, but we had an agreement that we would not second guess  the other  parents decision when it came to our kids. So he was not punished because dad understood what teenage boys do. 

Many psychologists believe that men have evolved to pursue lusty, busty women who are willing to engage in casual sex. According to Paul Wright, Ph.D., an assistant professor at Indiana University who researches the social aspects of sex, that is may be because a woman's appearance can give more clues to her reproductive potential than a man's can. However, Emory University research suggests that men and women are similarly interested in visual sexual stimuli, but what they find sexually interesting definitely divides along gender lines. Men prefer novelty, while women are more interested in stable dynamics.

Porn could be bumming you out, and not just because of the slow buffering speed: New research links pornography use to depression. But don’t worry, that’s no reason to trash your downloads folder just yet.
In a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, more than 500 subjects completed a survey about their media use—complete with questions about the importance of using pornography in their lives, feelings of depression, and their perceived health.
Those who watched a lot of porn took more sick days and were more depressed than those who didn't claimed they didn't view any smut. Which is interesting, since we've long touted the Health Benefits of Masturbation. So what’s going on? Maybe putting a pole in you house and have your wife strip for you can be the answer to avoid depression, or maybe not.