Just Listen to what she has to say!

LISTENING is the simplest relationship booster on the planet. Be a better listener, be a better friend. I did some research and found five pillars in a book Power Listening. It  may have been written for the board room, but I think the tips work just as well in the bedroom or at the dinner table.

1. Show Respect
With business, you won’t get the information you need if you don’t show a little regard for your conversation partner. With women, she simply wants her point to be acknowledged. She knows you may not be interested in what she has to say or will follow her suggestions, but simply lending an ear (especially to the pointless stories) is a sign of appreciation and attentiveness.

2. Keep Quiet
With business, if you can keep quiet 80 percent of the time, you will be surprised by what you learn. With women, try to avoid “fixing” her problems. It’s a man’s instinct to be a problem solver, but most of the time women talk to vent, not to find a solution. She may just want you to sympathize with her.  “It is very difficult to listen if you are talking.” my new favorite slogan is: "You learn much more by listing, than you do by talking." let her feed you, she will appreciate the trust, and if your mouth his full you can't talk.

3. Become the Master of the Question
With business, leading with your opinion or stressing your point of view won’t make you better informed. With women, asking questions proves you’ve been actively listening instead of simply hearing what she said. You don’t have to ask a lot of questions, you just have to ask the right ones. Like: "So what are you going to do?"

4. Be Prepared to be Surprised
With business, a good listener is open to challenging their firmly held beliefs so they aren’t blindsided by something new. With women, a man can never assume anything either. What holds true for one of the women you know doesn’t necessarily apply to the rest of the pack. Preparing for a a unique point of view can prevent a lot of foot-in-mouth action on your part.Trust me I have tried to fit my size 11.5 in my mouth so often that I have learned my lesson, that it is the most uncomfortable exercise.

5. Keep your focus
In business, emotional distractions can derail a productive discussion and can keep you from getting the job done. With women, your attention is their only leverage. When you’re distracted they don’t feel like a priority. Devoting your energy to listening proves they can still make your head turn, even if it’s just with conversation.

I hope as the Holidays are here we men learn that a happy woman, to exchange gifts with is far better than one who is thinking about  dumping you before the new year, simply because you are not the attentive type she wants in her life.

Happy Holidays everyone!