GET READY TO GO FROM “SINGLE” TO “TAKEN” for valentine's day!

I brought you  your favorite drink!

Get ready for my special crash Course “Single & Ready”. This blog post  will enlighten you, inspire you, and prepare you to get the results you’re looking for in dating and relationships. <smirking> sounds too good to be true... actually it is!

An  amazing life changing course would  cover many great topics, here is my top 4 that I would teach if, I could :

How to Truly embrace love within yourself, and attract love to you.

How did you know I liked hammocks?

I'm  sure many of you, have heard the term "you have to give to receive." that is literally true in the case of getting the desired result when you want to go  from "Single to Ready". Women who have been hurt in the past have a shield up all the time. You are finding many reasons why, you are reluctant to step out and draw the right person to you. You good but cautious  nature is keeping you back, just a little. You can't protect your heart from what has not happened yet.  Not all...... that you fair is based on reality, because the future has not happened, Yet. What happened in the past should be in you rear-view mirror. Use it as a reference but not as a road map. Kick a new GPS guide in gear, and follow the path you want to follow with confidence. What if you actually had a GPS guide, that would tell you ahead of time to turn left and  right at every junction  of you journey. She would sound like your Iphone  - Siri voice. telling you to avoid the traffic jams ahead. "He is right around the corner, get ready to  smile, and have love in your eye, have an open heart because an open heart will always find ways to let Love in!" " He is bringing a glass of bubbly, because I (Siri),  texted him and told him that is what you like to drink, ahead of time!"   sound too good to be true.... Maybe! but if it was possible would you follow your Siri instructor, if you didn't find 10 thousand  reasons why this journey was not worth the possibility of finding true happiness.

Show your confidence, as if you are the center piece on the banquet table!

 How to Be comfortable and confident with who you are, as well as being the best that you can be.

His eyes are just fixed on me and only ME

STOP, you are  letting what you think affect what you think a man s might think are your flaws.  A man sees a woman and he is thinking I can get with her. she might be what I  have been looking for.  But the first thoughts in your mind, does he see all my flaws, "is my dress to short or is my hair style not what he likes, what about the boobs too big or too small. Are my nails the right length....?"   Once again here are  your needs for your personalized   Siri, telling you in her  special voice: ' you just have to  think you are just perfect for what he is looking for (be confident, show that you are comfortable in your own skin). You face and body language will reflect your confidence and you ease will show that you know you  can not fail......! Guys have radar, we sense things about a woman..  here is what we might be thinking "Her lips say kiss me!, her eyes say get closer, let me smell you, and feel you masculinity," if this  was possible would you follow your Siri guide, if you didn't find another  10 thousand  reasons why this journey was not worth the possibility of finding true love.

How to have a better understanding of men, and bring clarity to any confusion you may have faced.

Perfect bath temperature, how did he know what I like?

OK you are reaching that stage of getting naked. Your  Siri voice tells you : ' Ask him to run you a bath after a long day at work, and test the temperature' if he get's it just right then he is going to do things right by you.' BUT, will he see that you are not perfect and have few flaws. Does that matter to him, or will he see the real you and compare you to the women in his past.  He is not perfect either, so two imperfect people can have an almost imperfect relationship.  Just because you took a chance, guided by your personal Siri, in your head guiding you around every  ( self created obstacle). "You can make it work  if you think, You can!"  all your want and needs will not be met by another person.. so stop expecting the stuff in your head to manifest into that ideal and perfect situation. 

How to Prepare and position yourself for great love, and a great harmonious  relationship.

Just How your visualized it!

So what do you really want?
Let Siri tell you that your intimate moments will be exactly what you have been dreaming about. Your days and nights will no longer be lonely. No need to marry yourself and give yourself  a wedding... that will not be recorded anywhere.
So I have given you a Siri that you need to program that will consider all your fairs and all you apprehensions, that will guide  your right and keep you safe from a broken heart. and hurt. Now sleep comfortably and let the cares of the past stay in your rear view mirror and in the distance. Don't bring the fairs and doubts any closer by adjusting your rear view mirror.

Women find creativity HOT.

 Writing music, performing in a band, or practicing any other music-related endeavors are among the sexiest ways for you to flash your creative side.

Along with musical creativity, “taking artistic photographs” (not dick pics!), writing poetry, and practicing other artsy habits chart high on most women’s hotness meters. On the other hand, interior designing, computer programming (yours truly), and writing advertisements—though all productive endeavors—are less likely to boost your love life. Hmmm, (one of my  regrets) I should have stuck with playing the guitar.

People all over the world list creativity as a desirable quality in a mate. But guys who dabble in what I call “aesthetic” forms of creativity—basically, anything having to do with art or culture—get a bigger bump in sexual attractiveness than those who practice more utilitarian or technological kinds. Why? Art-based creativity tends to be tied in a woman’s mind to intelligence, work ethic, and good genes.
Go figure, a dude can talk about himself  as a third person and get women to agree to be his play-mates for the night. Just because he can sing a tune. or play an instrument.  there is simply something wrong with this, or is it just BAD in my mind.

"Anybody at all has the right to talk about himself-provided he knows how to be entertaining."

~  Charles Baudelaire

One man, two women, is normally  just a bunch of drama. We see it all the time. Movies, TV, music, and unfortunately real life. These love triangles where women fight each other are all around you and in my opinion it’s a damn shame, but if you are celebrity  the drama is not about who you pick... they are fine with just being in the room with you on either side of you, hoping to be call back for a one on one roll in the sheets, because they are in denial. Rather than accept that maybe this situation/relationship is not what they want to believe it is, they would rather displace excitement to be part of the two  women game, for now, because of a man's celebrity status. They would rather not fight  the other woman or and hold her accountable because doing that to the man involved may force him to walk away and replace them for a new two. They don’t want to face the reality that maybe this isn’t truly the best man, to try and live out their fantasy with, because he has no intentions of being with either of them. I figure,  it is much easier to lower their standards and display questionable  character and values, all because of his celebrity status,  than to look in the mirror and be honest with themselves. While they may not  battle each other , for his one on one attention, they settle for being in the bed with him on his terms, not only is this man being amused by this Ménage à trois, he is already planning the next session with two or more other women.

He  probably is on his way to entertaining more women than they know, as soon as he regains his energy. But even if one “wins”his attention, for another chance to be in his bed,  she still lose..... in the end. The real issue has not been addressed and the denial continues. Now I know some situations go deeper than this.... Sometimes that other girl is really just happy to be there because she was invited.... then in that case she wins because she really does not care! 

I know this can be a very difficult situation for a woman who is dreaming about having a celebrity for a mate, because she is planning to win the ultimate prize.But as A+ person with some pride, you  have to step back and put things in proper perspective. unless he ( that ultimate prize)  finds you so dynamic that he is willing to drop his consistent behavior of disrespecting and using women,  not likely to happen,  you lose.   I know it is very easy to get mad at the messenger, for bring you  BAD news. OK my BAD, Just let it go!

Biggest Relationship Mistakes!

Wow, where do I begin..... the following are my list of 15 major mistakes.... LOL. I can list them easily because........? You guessed it, I have made them all!

#1 Forgetting to Be Friends
The root of a healthy relationship is friendship. Don't let your romance (or lack thereof) make you forget that.
As time pass folks forget what really attracted them to each other in the first placed.Love is something that requires work ...lots of work.

#2 Intentionally Saying Hurtful Things
This is a tactic that some people just didn't grow out of after high school like they should have. Even when you are arguing with each other, don't say things that you know will hurt them. Don't disrespect them or say something that could affect them negatively.
 In the beginning We make it a point to say positive things to each other... names like honey, sweetie  just roll off our lips.... Stupid, idiot, B!tch were not words we used during the courtships... then a few years later those are the word that float around in our heads about the same person that was the honey bee in our lives. Negative emotions are natural.. choosing to express then is a choice, we can choose the alternatives... It's always a choice!

#3 Not Resolving Conflict
It's become pretty popular to avoid saying "I'm sorry" at all costs these days. This may work for you if you'd like to make your partner feel terrible, but owning up to your mistakes will be worth it for both of you.




#4 Can't Handle Distance
It is not uncommon for someone to have a job that takes them far away at times. Some people are not cut out for a relationship like this but will make the mistake of trying to stick with it anyway. It may seem brutal to break it off because you can't handle the distance, but in the end you will only be saving each other from years of misery.

If you know from the outset that there will be distance, you should not expect that will  change just because it no long feels good... consider that you are the one who has to traveling constantly... and your partners is hounding you about it... You would not like the feeling... so think about how you are making them feel.... when you complain that you want it to change. And they are powerless to change it....... in an instant!

#5 No Romance
Sure, feeling like you're in a chick flick can be pretty cheesy, but sometimes it's those cheesy little moments that really show your partner that you care.
Shares on Facebook, personal quick emails...... text msg. that say silly things.
it's all about attentiveness.. the more creative you seem the more attention you put into you next surprise text or facebook inbox message..

#6 Don't let them embarrass you!
A lot of people will accept being with someone that makes them feel embarrassed, or worse, someone that is embarrassed to be seen with them. Don't sell yourself short just because you're afraid of being alone. You owe them and yourself the respect to get out.

#7 Not Compromising
Let him pick where you go to eat if you get to pick the movie or vice versa. In the end, neither of you will really care what you did that evening, but you'll always remember that you were both willing to do something just because the other person likes it.

#8 Not Being on the Same page.
Some couples have a problem with one person feeling more committed than the other. The best way to ensure this problem never arises is to make sure you're on the same page about everything. Talk it out, assure your partner of how you feel about them.

Seeing eye to eye does not mean you can't have differences.... but if you take the time to see your partner's point of view it will go along way to getting along better.

#9 Not Seeing Things From Their  Point of View
You need empathy to get through any other relationship in your life -- with co-workers, your family, your friends -- why should it be different with your partner?

#10 Making Assumptions
One of the biggest assumptions made in a relationship is thinking that your partner is a certain way just because you met someone else that's that way too. The whole "all guys/girls are the same" idea gets old fast.

Think about it you don't like to be compared to an ex... what makes you think your partner would accept it either.

 Pretending to Like Things You Don't
This is a textbook mistake that people have been making since the beginning of time! Be with someone that shares your interests or at least someone that respect your differences, you will be much happier. Hear we have that in common is music to the ears!

#12 Expecting Things to Change
This is a hard lesson for some people to learn, but you can't change your boyfriend/girlfriend. Only they can do that and only when they decide to. If you're waiting it out, expecting something wonderful to happen, you're only wasting your time.

#13 Constant Fighting
You may have been raised to think that men and women are supposed to fight like cats and dogs, but this is far from true. If you find yourself fighting nearly every day just to make yourself heard, it's probably time to head out or send your partner packing.

#14 Avoiding the Issues
Couples that argue all the time are not healthy, however couples that never discuss the tough issues may be worse. If you both keep sweeping problems under the rug and pretending to be happy, the downfall may be drastic.

shrugging off responsiblilities is jus ignorant... She is not your mom, and he is not your Daddy.. be mature and do what mature people do. Do the right thing.

#15 Expecting Marriage to Fix Everything
Too many couples hurry to the alter expecting it to magically fix everything. Marriage certainly can feel magical sometimes, but it does not make life suddenly perfect.

many folks make the mistakes where they know going in that there are red flags... but they think: " I will change the other person in time."
The fact is Men marry women hoping that they will not change... and women marry men with a secret  plan to change them.... See the problem... change will happen but not how we hope or you plan or expect.

The Key To Long-Term Success in relationships is Explanations Without Excuses!

You aren't likely to hear a truly successful person in a solid relationship say when they meet  you for happy hour , “Sorry to keep you waiting but traffic was terrible,” or “I would have been on time, but the kids were so slow getting ready this morning.” Instead, they’re more likely to say, “Sorry I’m late. I should have left my office/home sooner.”

That’s because smart people recognize the critical difference between an explanation and an excuse – an explanation accepts full responsibility and an excuse places blame, minimizes liability, and tries to avoid consequences. While explanations can be pivotal to reaching your goals, excuses can sabotage your efforts.

I picked this peace of art, while thinking about you! 

Why It’s Tempting to Make Excuses

Excusing your behavior isn't helpful. In fact, trying to convince others – or even yourself – why your shortcomings are justified can be downright self-destructive. Despite the problems associated with excuses, for many people, they become commonplace. Here are the two main reasons why people use excuses:

1. Excuses Are a Common Defense Mechanism

When young children get caught misbehaving, they often blame those around them by saying, “He made me do it.” Grown-up excuses are a slightly more sophisticated version of that child-like response. Whether a student says, “I couldn't get that paper done because my computer wasn’t working,” or an employee says, “The project didn't get finished because my co-workers refused to help,” the underlying message is the same – “It’s not my fault.”

Sometimes people assume excuses will help them escape consequences. By saying, “I shouldn’t be to blame,” they expect others to take pity on them and not hold them accountable. Unfortunately, excuses can become a way of life for some people as they insist that anything from their stress load to their bad childhood prevents them from reaching their goals. But the often fail to understand that excuses are the corner stone to leaning tower, with one more excuse the structure of trust comes crashing down. as a child I could not give my parents excuses because I was an only child. I was forced to take responsibility and explain my behavior, my lack of attentiveness, my in ability to complete my task. i.e. I was forced into accountability.....   

while on your shoulders I can see the top of your head ,
when you give an excuse your head sweats.

2. Excuses Temporarily Relieve Uncomfortable Emotions

Claiming you didn't have a choice in the matter reduces emotional discomfort in the short-term. A study, which is titled, “Forced to Be BAD; The Positive Impact of Low Autonomy Vice Consumption on Consumer Vitality,” found that shirking responsibility temporarily relieves feelings of shame, guilt, and fear.

The researchers discovered that when people justified their behavior by saying they were “forced” to indulge in guilty pleasures, they experienced fewer negative emotions. When participants experienced pressure by others to blow their diet, for example, they were less likely to worry about the long-term consequences of overindulging because they were convinced they “had” to do it. But when offered options without the same pressure, people who indulged experienced regret. I read multiple versions of " Don't sweat the small stuff" the author kept insisting  that "it's all small stuff. " In a world where size matters to make some small requires the ability to think about things in a large scheme of things. If you minimize the things that are holding you back( making them small stuff), then the things that will propel you forward become far more important and then become "the big stuff."     

Clearly, blaming others for your choices is likely to relieve the uncomfortable emotions that accompany acceptance of responsibility. However, making excuses for your mistakes will also prevent you from becoming successful. You can’t develop the self-discipline necessary to reach your long-term goals if you’re always trying to rationalize your mistakes.

Tell me why you are late, explanations not excuses Please!

Successful People Create Results Not Excuses

Successful people look for accurate explanations that caused them to fail, then the move on to the things that help the succeed. They accept full responsibility for the way they think, feel and behave without blaming other people or circumstances. They don’t waste valuable time and energy trying to justify why they should not be held accountable.

Successful people do however, take time to examine their role in problems. They want to know exactly where they went wrong so they use that information to help them become better next time. By being able to say, “Yes, that’s my fault. And here’s what I’m going to do to avoid making that mistake next time,” they increase the chances of reaching their long-term goals.

why are there dirty dishes on the kitchen counter?

Responding to Excuses

Hearing excuses from others can be frustrating. But, many people don’t recognize the difference between an explanation and an excuse. So when you hear someone claiming, “It’s not my fault I couldn't do that intentionally ,” ask them how they will do better next time.  Often, people feel more comfortable sharing how they’ll avoid problems in the future rather than describing how they could have avoided problems in the past or today.

wow, he gave an excuse, while he gave me an explanation!

People are stuck on image these days. their problem is  how does one choose between what is comfortable and what is New and exciting. The answer is as simple  following your  intuition. What is  really comfortable? Something that  becomes boring after awhile... What's new and exciting  get 's your heart racing and one of your palms is sweating.  Right or left. this is were you make that tough choice  that moment where you take a leap of faith and pick one.  you start by preparing and explanation not an excuse as to why you are making the choice you are making.  It's not going to be easy, but hard does not mean impossible it leads to greater stuff and you leave the small stuff behind.....

You gave it all you had and it didn't workout..your have reached the end of the Term your are now at your Limit

Many people entering a divorce are under the false assumption that their divorce lawyer is the leader in dissolving their marriage. Think again!
In reality, you must be the head manager of your divorce, while your lawyer is a key member of your support team.

It is very important that you acquire some  knowledge, research and use a good dose of common sense in choosing and managing your legal representation.
Here are some things to keep in mind:

Yes, You Need to Speak to a Lawyer

Sometimes a divorce doesn't ever require a trip to the courtroom. Mediation and arbitration are sometimes easier and a less expensive ways to end your marriage. With no-fault divorce laws, there are also do-it-yourself divorce kits and online resources that can be alternatives if you and your partner agree on issues like custody and division of property.(This is mainly in the USA) Even if you and your partner agree to settle your divorce outside of a courtroom, it is still important that you at least have a consultation with an attorney -- one who is not affiliated with your partner -- to discuss your intended method of divorce and the terms that you and your spouse have agreed upon. Too often, individuals assume that they are doing the "right thing" and that their best interests are being represented, and then find out differently. Spending a little time and money to consult with an attorney can help make sure you are being smart in ending your marriage. A quick side story: I know someone who was sleeping with her soon-to-be ex-husband's Lawyer, her husband was in jail. and he got screwed big time, in the property settlement. by his lawyer and his ex-wife working together behind his back. So make sure you know who is really handling your affairs. No pun intended! 

Know What You Need

There are many factors to consider when choosing a lawyer to represent you in your divorce. Do you simply need someone to guide you through the process and support you during an uncontested divorce or mediation? Do you need someone to help you with complicated financial matters in the division of assets? Is custody a primary concern? You want to find an attorney who is seasoned in the areas most important to you. It will be easier to find the best lawyer for your case if you have a clear understanding of how they will be supporting you. Use online resources or books to understand the divorce process in your area and what your specific needs might be.

The Selection Process

Referrals from friends, family or colleagues can be a good way to start generating a list of potential attorneys. You can also contact your local Bar Association of the American Association of Matrimonial Lawyers to research possibilities. Do not use an attorney with any connections to your spouse. Even if your divorce is amicable, it is best to have your own, unbiased representation. If options in your immediate area are limited, feel free to expand your search -- just make sure that the attorney in question has experience with divorce in your state, as laws can differ from state to state. Once you have a list of potential lawyers in place, it is time to start asking some important questions.

The Interview
It is critical to be prepared when you start interviewing lawyers. You want to be able to accurately and clearly state your needs and the details of your situation. Many lawyers offer a free initial consultation, but make sure you clarify this up front, as some attorneys do bill for this first meeting. Here are some of the questions you'll want to ask potential lawyers:

• Ask about their experience, how long they have been practicing and if they specialize in divorce.
• Ask who will be doing the bulk of the work. Will it be a specific attorney or will it be delegated to team or group ,like paralegals?
• After sharing your situation with the attorney, ask their initial reaction as to how they would recommend proceeding -- negotiating a settlement, mediation, going to trial, etc.
• If you think your divorce might end up in a courtroom, be sure to ask how much actual trial experience the attorney has accumulated.
• Ask about their payment structure and retainer. If necessary, ask about possible payment plans.
• Utilize this initial meeting to clarify any questions you have about the divorce process or your particular situation. To be a good manager of your divorce, it will be important that you understand what is going on every step of the way.
  Remember, you want to choose a lawyer who is qualified, who will give you the attention you need, who fits into your budget, and with whom you feel a good level of understanding and trust.
  Even after you have selected your lawyer, don't forget that they are a member of your support team and that you have the right to manage them by expecting deadlines to be met, updates to be given, and your feedback to be incorporated into all decisions. If you don't feel like your representation is meeting their obligation, deal with this immediately and don't ever assume that it will all work out in the end. and remember the following. 
• when you reach the point of no return in a particular situation, it means you have given all you can give, taken all you can take, learned all you can learn, taught all you can teach, be all you can be. when you finally reach this point, please remember, this is not a bad thing. It is simply time to move on.

So who will step forward and be better men in this New Year!

Men it is time to start being better men in 2015 and beynd and stop with all the negativity some contribute to dating and relationships. I understand that some of you may not fully understand the damage you do to women, and to the overall state of relationships, but that’s why I am doing my part to make sure you are now informed on the reality of these issues. Be brave and drop the pride, steps to becoming the best man you can be.

Let’s begin with these 3 things many we men  need to start doing moving forward:

1. Stop Playing Games: Be Honest About Your Intentions

"That was great, just like the first time,
lets  hookup again when I'm in town in a  few months."

If you’re simply looking for some booty, then please stop allowing her to believe that you may want more than that. It’s not cool, and it is simply causing more damage and more dysfunction in the crazy world of relationships. I mean don’t get me wrong, I know when a woman says, “If a guy just wants sex, then just say it” is not a suggestion that will typically help you reach your goal. It was a great line some woman came up with to help weed out the guys who are just after sex.
example: She is as fine as well shelved bottle of fine wine (figure 8). the expiration date is blank. Treat her like she does not need an  expiration date. She does not need to  to be validated or exploited, for your pleasure and be disposed of. Don't treat  her like you don't want someone to treat your sister, Mother or even you. Do the right thing.
However, it would still be best to take an honest approach. You can still find women who are on the same page as you, and you don’t have to lie or “play boyfriend” to get what you want. I’m in no way saying that sex should be your focus, because it shouldn't but I understand that this is what a lot of men desire while dating. Just take a better approach so that you can avoid creating more issues.
A quick side note: these days women can be just as much players as men can, they will jump your bone and them head off into the sunset, like the lone-cougar. some even come back from time to time to get serviced. knocking at your door at 2am, or  flying in from somewhere else to have some fun. and telling you stories that she was hanging with some friends and their conversation got very sexual and she thought that since you both  had gotten together not too long ago that you would not mind doing her again. 

2. Stop Being So Dependent: Learn How to Be a Man of independence
The behavior of being dependent on a woman to take care of you, and not knowing how to stand on your own two feet is unacceptable. What the hell do  you mean you can't  cook a meal or wash your own clothes. It needs to stop immediately. You will never be able to properly take care of a woman in a way that she needs or desires if you have yet to learn how to take care of yourself. Some of us men  may know how to stand on our own, but we may be what some consider a “momma’s boy”.
example: these days women have the better jobs, but you need to step up an define your niche in life.. If you can't find a well paying J-O-B. then  work on become an entrepreneur, or an independent labor( skill) worker. take some classes on how to do things that can make you marketable. Lear how to create Apps for the smart devices for example. Just do something that is forward moving.
It’s great that you love your mother, but if you don’t learn how to cut that umbilical cord now, you will have major issues when you get married and you keep putting your mother over your wife (which in my opinion is not a good move at all). It is time to stand on your own merits and start being the best man you can be. Your future girlfriend/wife is not going to be happy with some guy who can’t take initiative to do anything for himself.

"Mom, what's for dinner, I'm starving!"

She is not going to be happy carrying an extra burden in the relationship because she does not have a man she can count on. Yes, I know some of you are being taken care of by your woman, so you may figure “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. Well guess what, it is broken, you just don’t see the cracks and dysfunction clearly. Trust me, if you keep it up , it will become painfully clear how broken it really was the entire time.

I haven't got a clue what are you so upset about!

3. Stop Being Clueless: Try to Understand Women


I always say, “You don’t have to understand all women, just focus on making a genuine effort to understand your woman”.
Which is true, however, gaining some general understanding of women is a great place to start and it will help you move forward. You may think you know plenty, but many times you may not have a clue. That reality will eventually slap you in the face once you’re in a serious relationship or marriage. So here is the deal, you can either wait till that time comes and try to learn on the fly or you can get started now and be ready for when that day comes.
Example: It's New years day. and you are thinking Rose Bowl Football game, she is think something exciting (NOT football) . Find a way to compromise so that she does not feel left out. while you are sitting on the sofa watching the  game with a beer in your hand eating chips and salsa. heads up  that's  just your thing that does not include her, unless she is into college football like you are.I’m not talking about tips and tricks to maneuvering through a woman’s mind and heart. I’m talking about a genuine attempt to understand women and the ways that many of them operate. You would not wait until the championship game before you raise your level of play, you would practice well in advance so that you have a shot to win that championship. Well, it is the same thing here and if you’re smart, you won’t waste another day waiting to prepare yourself. 
another quick side note: Women are very complex, so understand you have to listen very carefully, to tone, attitudes, happy  moments, and sad moments. If you master reading the signs you might just be able to deal with her better. Example do not  suggest a walk in the park when she has leg and feet pain from walking in high heels the whole week. Offer to rub her feet and remove rough spots on the sole of her feet  and Massage her calves instead, it might even lead to something else. she might reward you for being so attentive.  


There it is right there and I’m sure many women would agree with this list. The man that takes heed to these 3 tips  will be a few steps ahead of the other guys that are too prideful to take some good advice. If you’re a woman reading this, pass it along. The more men we can get to start doing better, the more we can create a positive environment that benefits both men and women. It’s  a New Year, and it is time for  new approaches.

Habits of a Happy relationship!

Lets start by first defining what we all want. Unless you are narcissistic!.

Stand at the waters edge and K.I.S.S

#1 Settle disputes peacefully
When you feel anger, avoid saying or yelling words you can't take back, instead have a planned agreement that you each will back away. I believe the K.I.S.S principle works well here.

#2 Spend quality time Together
Make time for each other. With busy schedules we often forget to relax and enjoy others. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles apart. Ignoring someone, often hurts more than angry words! Carve out special time for just the two of you once a week.

#3 Appreciate and Help each other Grow
Having an open appreciation for your significant other leads to a productive, fulfilling and peaceful union. Cheer for their victories. Celebrate their accomplishments, and encourage their goals and ambitions! Challenge them to be the best they can be.

#4 Live with Integrity
Trust in each other and know you haven’t been used or taken advantage of, it creates inner peace and security. Lies fester, but the truth heals or prevents trouble. Live daily with fairness, integrity and reliability.

#5 Be Loyal and Devoted
True love and real friendship are not about being inseparable. Love is about two people being true to each other even when they are separated. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything

#6 Love and Respect each Other as Individuals

Say things like:" I respect your opinion even when I disagree with it"

Our first and last love is self-love. Don’t rely on your significant other, or anyone else, for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself, no one else will be able to either.


#7 Lend Support during the Good Times and BAD
Be there through the good, bad, happy, and sad times too. Trust that you can count on each other, and be available not only when it’s convenient, but when it's needed most.

#8 Understand: Every Relationship is Different
Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s, especially that random couple whose relationship seems perfect. Every couple makes their own love rules, love agreements, and love habits. Just focus on you two, and make your relationship the best it can be!

#9 An Emphasis on Communication and Listening

When one of you is angry. be the one to soothe the savage beast

No one is a mind-reader so your partner won't be able to figure out how you’re feeling. Be specific and clear with yourself on what you want and make an effort to discover what your partner’s needs are.

#10 Turn Negatives into Positives
Problems in a relationship can be broken down into numbers. If you're both honest with each other and within yourselves, logically look at the negatives and calmly list them. Work together as a team to tackle each negative, one by one.  find ways to soothe savage beast!


#11 Work on Thoughtfulness Every Day
People who are in successful relationships nourish their partnerships regularly. They don’t set their life on cruise control. Ask yourself, “What can I do today to make my partner’s life better?” Little bits of effort every day will accumulate over time and make a big difference.

#12 Have Realistic Expectations
Real relationships are not what you see in the movies. They happen because each person values the other and are willing to make an investment of time into the partnership.
They understand, not all days are passionate and romantic.. rough spots will require good communication.

Say words like: " Let me listen your heart beat"   this can go a long way