Breaking the "stereotype" myths

We use"stereotype" as a reference point for how to relate to people. The problem with pigeonholing is that it doesn’t reflect reality. Typecasting ignores the wonderful fact that people are individuals. Labeling limits the expansive possibilities of relationship. Many myths exist about men that women mistakenly believe. Here we shine light on the shadows of misconceptions regarding men.

Old school romance, is  still possible...  

MYTH #1 – Men are unemotional. . From childhood, boys are taught that showing emotion signals weakness. So we learn to wear a macho mask. We hide our feelings and are less verbal than women. In fact, a word count study showed that women say 25,000 words a day while men utter  less than half  about 12,000.

INSIGHT #1 – A man may shift his emotions into an acceptable gear of expression. For example, sports events are safe places where we men give free rein to their feelings. Players don’t hesitate to indulge in exuberant high-fives and hugs.
It isn’t that fellows are unfeeling.  We've been trapped by societal beliefs that it’s unmanly to openly hurt, cry, or mourn.

MYTH #2 – A hot body is the main attraction in a woman.

INSIGHT #2 – A stable, happy woman is more important to a man than appearance.

I'll tell you my deepest darkest secret!

• cheerfulness
• confidence
• femininity
• independence
• humor
• strength
• vulnerability

MYTH #3 – Men are incapable of commitment.
Although a man may be afraid to commit, it doesn’t mean he can’t. There may be many reasons for his reticence:

He may have unresolved pain from the past. If he’s a child of divorce, he’s got emotional scars. If his heart has been broken, his wounds may still be raw.
He’s uncomfortable taking a risk. There are no guarantees a relationship will stand the course of time. He may be hesitant to invest himself in the unknown.
He may think commitment is equivalent to being trapped. He may fear the emotional dependence that develops over time.
As further evidence of the capacity to commit, consider research results by The Huffington Post. Market analysts polled 250,000 men regarding dating, communication, romance, and marriage. When asked if they would cheat on their partner, 81 percent said they would never, even if they could sidestep being caught.

Can I trust you with my heart?

INSIGHT #3 – Men appreciate loyalty. We want to feel valued and loved. Once our fears are understood, they can be addressed. A man whose anxieties have been resolved won’t drag his feet on the path to the altar. this I know very well, because I got married at an age that is younger than  my youngest son is right now I as I' writing this blog  post.... I saw it as a commitment and taking a Oath...of honor.   

Are you truly happy?

MYTH #4 – When he falls asleep right after making love, it means the relationship isn’t strong.

After lovemaking, a man’s body chemistry changes. Three hormones are released that usher in sleep. Prolactin, oxytocin, and GABA all trigger the need to conk out. For a woman, cuddling after coupling increases the sense of intimacy. For a man, it requires effort to stay awake and snuggle.

INSIGHT #4 – When a man immediately nods off after lovemaking, it means he’s happy and satisfied. Don't question why...

MYTH #5 – Men don’t like being asked on a date.

In the past, women who took the initiative to ask for a date were seen as desperate. Men were charged with doing the hard part of making first contact. Thankfully, dating etiquette has since evolved. Match.com has released the results of its “Singles in America 2015″ survey. Polling 5,600 singles revealed that 90% of the guys were fine with being asked out.

This was a great choice!

INSIGHT #5 – Members of both genders like being approached for a date. It’s a sign of being admired. Fortunately, no one objects to that. as long as the intentions are really good intended.

MYTH #6 – Men aren’t as romantic as women.

The Romantic Beliefs Scale has dispelled this myth. This is a measure of viewpoints regarding the nature of love. A study of 730 subjects assessed four core beliefs about romance. The results showed that men were generally more impassioned than women. Guys agreed with such statements as:

- There’s only one real love for me.
- True love is forever.

List the the things you love about me !

- I’m determined to make a relationship work, despite any obstacles.
- I believe in love at first sight.

INSIGHT #6 – Men tend to believe that love is the most important consideration in choosing a mate for the extended term.

MYTH #7 – Men are shallow.

In his book "Backbone," David Wagner states that each man has an inner life. It includes his dreams, hopes, passions, and aspirations. Clues that reveal what’s close to a man’s heart are:

• work he enjoys
• hobbies
• talents
• preferred environments
• type of person he gravitates towards.....

You make me feel like I can be myself with you!

                         

INSIGHT #7 – There’s a lot beneath the surface of that calm exterior. 

Whose money is it, anyway?

Love is an ocean of emotions, entirely surrounded by expenses.~ Lord Dewar.

It starts out innocently enough.
You treat yourself to another massage at the end of a bad day—and you just happen to not mention it to your partner … either time.

Then you splurge on a new fitness gadget (it was on sale!), and when your significant other asks about it, you shrug it off and say you’ve had it for a while.

You didn’t plan to deceive your partner. It just happened. Besides, you think to yourself, “Does anyone else really have to know my every money move?”

It’s not like you’re accruing massive debt or mortgaging the family home. You’re simply splurging a little now and again … and again. Guess what you are Dabble In Financial Infidelity..... mainly if you have an  Our joint bank account

What did I do that was so wrong?  

 If you’re worried that you or your partner has spending habits that are totally out of control and are putting your family’s financial security at risk, keep reading.

What is out-of-control spending?
Money issues are a major factor in relationship breakdown and are often cited as a cause of divorce. Try to face up to your problems together before things go too far.
Put simply, it’s spending more than you earn. Not just once in blue moon but every month – often on things that neither of you or your children need. Danger signs are a constant (and growing) overdraft, multiple maxed-out credit cards that you pay only the minimum on, and struggling to get to the end of the month without more borrowing. In some cases it could mean taking out payday loans to make ends meet.
If you or your partner’s spending is out of control, you need to take action now.

Step 1 – Talk to each other
Sticking your head in the sand isn’t going to make the problem go away. If anything, it’ll only make the problems worse and drive you further apart. Find a time to talk about your concerns.

Honey we need to talk about spending!

Talking about money with your partner
If you’re ready to fight your spending together, you’ll find ‘Stop Spending if you make it a priority.
If talking just ends in arguments (and relationship problems can often be one of the main causes of comfort spending), you’ll need outside help from an adviser, a debt counselor or even relationship counselor.
If spiraling debt is the main problem, contact a free, impartial debt advice service.
Choosing a financial adviser

Protect yourself and your family

Did You Know?
Your credit file is not automatically linked to who you’re married to or who you live with, unless you’re financially linked to them through a mortgage, joint bank account, joint bills or  credit cards.

There may come a time when you simply can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. If that’s the case, you need to protect the rest of the family from the problems that will be created by the over-spending.

Avoid joint debt!!!!!

If you have any joint debts, remember that both of you are liable for repaying them in full. If your partner doesn’t pay their share, you will still be liable. So don’t agree to new joint debts unless you are entirely happy with the arrangement. In particular don’t agree to debts secured on your home.

Keep your credit card to yourself!!!!!

Although credit cards can’t be ‘joint’, it’s common to have a main cardholder and an additional authorized users. When an authorized user runs up an unmanageable bill, it’s still the responsibility of the main cardholder to pay it off. So if your partner is an authorized user on your card, consider cancelling the authorization.

Protect your credit rating

Being financially linked with someone else can affect your credit rating, and possibly make it difficult for you to get new credit. If you can, avoid joint bank accounts, joint loans and joint bills until your partner’s credit situation improves.

Whatever agreement you make with your soon-to-be ex doesn't change your liabilities. Lenders still consider you both to be equally liable.

Read more: 
http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/6-secrets-joint-credit-1267.php#ixzz3jONqA445 

You’ve Made it Through the first Date!

 Follow These  few steps To Win her over for  the second and Third date!

Are we really ready for this?

While the entire world seems to have something else on their mind for the second and third date, there are those not quite ready to go there by the third date. However, how does a guy  even get a third date, and what should be done to make it memorable?

Relationship advice often comes in the form of “oh they’re not worth it if A, B or C didn’t happen” or “dump them if they don’t do this or that ”. It’s really not that simple. Getting to the third date means that the relationship is comfortable enought to move forward.
Relationship counseling has recently stumbled onto the scientific notion that nostalgia (or that happy, fuzzy feeling when someone sees something from their childhood) is part of getting to the third date, happiness to the 3rd power.

The feeling is a positive one generally, and often adds a little bit of warmth to the date. This is worth it if marriage is on your mind for the one you’re dating!
Ideas for the third date, when you get there, are widely varied. Usually it is a good idea to skip the typical dinner and do something different. An amusement park, or a day at  the beach  offers a chance to get to see the person you’re dating in a more exotic environment.

OMG my heart is still racing

There is science behind going to an amusement park (or a theme park) for a date. Recent studies suggest that adrenaline mimics the idea of falling in love. Though the effect is more prominent on men than women, the idea is there. If looks are not your strong suite, it might be to your benefit to go on a roller coaster ride, specifically. Those who had finished a ride in the study, but didn’t find their partner particularly romantic, thought them more romantic after the ride.
Another place to go for the third date is to go to lunch, then do something together afterwards. A museum or a walk in the park are both good options. A tour of a museum is another good idea if both of you have a lot of time to kill (or just have nothing else to do that day).

What do you see in this painting?

Don’t fret if the tour is terrible, though. Remember the nostalgia study, and this tip: if it was done together, it is something to remember. You might even be able to laugh at a terrible date in the future; who knows?

If a museum is not your thing (or your date’s), take a hike. Literally. Being in a competitive environment (even if it’s just a sprint down the trail in a ‘who will get there first’ spirit) offers the chance to raise testosterone levels, which in turn may set off adrenaline.

Keep these ideas in mind next time you look to get to  a third date (or are planning a third date).

Don let go my hand
 I'll protect you  from that that great white over there!

No two ways about it: Women consider “chemistry” with a man to be the first step toward building a great relationship. And guess what? Most men would probably agree (although they’re far more likely to say things like, “We really hit it off,” or, “We really got along great”).

#1 Teasing
This one’s a no-brainer. When a man goes out of his way to tease a woman, it not only signals that he’s interested…it also shows that he’s comfortable and confident in his own skin. This is the #1 criteria of potential boyfriend material. One of my favorite ways to tease is to pick out one of a woman’s most attractive qualities, then comment how it doesn’t impress  at all. And then, if the woman teases you back, you can consider it “signal received”…and game on!

Do you feel that positive energy?  your hand is sweating! 

#2 Sarcasm
This one’s more subtle than teasing. It’s being a little too serious for the situation. A great way to use sarcasm to test for chemistry is to take a woman some place that’s just silly and fun on a date… maybe a park. Even a dog park. Then proceed to make comments that are too concerned and serious for the setting. Point is, if a guy is sarcastic with a woman that he’s just met and gets similar sarcasm back, it’s a HUGE sign that she’s interested. 

#3 Shared Interests
Duh, right? Like they say…the only thing that opposites truly attract is relationship failure. So make sure you have a few things in common to enjoy together...... so ask the right questions do not force the issue by insisting on a baseball game if  she  likes Football. 

You smell Amazing!

#4 Breaking of physical space
The clearest signal of all. If you can lay your hand on a woman’s back while you guide her through a door, or gently take her hand to lead her up some steps, and she doesn’t subtly “draw back” or increase the distance between you (even better…if she smiles while making eye contact with you) consider it a sure sign of chemistry…and a signal of a potentially deeper, more powerful connection to come.

So what do these “chemistry tests” all have in common? When you’re teasing, being sarcastic, sharing interests and breaking into her space, it opens up a line of communication between two people that says “I want to know more about you.”

How to Stop Making the Same Mistakes Over and Over Again.

You need to Stop having A Cocktail every night!   .

Old habits die hard. This can be an excruciatingly painful lesson to learn, especially when it comes to making mistakes in relationships, example: alcohol
 consumption . While mishaps aren’t always a bad thing (the process of well-planned trial and error can teach lessons), often folks get in a rut where they repeat the same mistakes over and over again. This slippery slope of developing these negative habits can have devastating consequences on a relationship’s success -- if not caught before they become ingrained in established processes.

One way to effectively combat falling into these habits is to constantly stay in the mode of creativity. A creative mindset is one that evaluates problems, adapts to circumstances and implements lasting, valuable solutions.

Need a little thinking outside the box? Try these techniques.

have some herb tea

Switch it up. To catch these negative habits, sometimes you have to interrupt habits altogether. Switch up your morning routine by  traveling a different route to work or stopping at a different coffee shop along the way. One simple change in routine can create a domino effect and inspire you to do other things differently.

We don't need alcohol to be hot for each other

Visualize the process. Begin a brainstorming session What does it look like? Don’t be afraid of being silly or thinking of ideas that are completely out there, in the end, these very concepts could very well hold the answers you’re seeking.

So how was your day ?
 Cheers to our happiness!

Pretend you’re in a different position. To see things from a different angle, sometimes you have to literally move where you’re sitting. So, even though you know what your partner's duties are, do you know what their  day looks like through their eyes? Ask to shadow them for an hour one day and you may see the world differently.

"the things you do are so fascinating!"

Observe without judgment. That one idea that you’re heavily resistant to could have some valid concepts layered within it. Often, judgments are immediate responses and can cut observation off at its source. Simple observation is the root of inspiration and inspiration fuels creativity

Outdoor activities are a welcome challenge!

Get weird. Do something unconventional for You. Don’t be afraid to have fun. Sometimes, creativity can be stifled when indoor environments seem too “stuffy”. Have an partners talent contest.  Have one day where both of you  can dress up like like athletes.  and Seriously compete against each other. These types of activities help people loosen up, which could lead to creative activities together..
A weird short story: Sunday Morning Sex

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

If you do not laugh at this, then you are seriously depressed,

make a doctor's appointment.

Now I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

Correct what is wrong and you will have harmony!

Relationships, whether they are familial, intimate, or platonic, most always come with some complications and even hardships. You have to work at them, be dedicated to their success, and be ready for the ups and down that may come with them. They can certainly take a mental toll, and it is important to be able to recognize various strategies and be able to accept relationship advice when necessary. Below are 7 things that mentally strong people don’t do in relationships.


Take it for granted – this may be one of the most important things to remember when working on being mentally strong in your relationship and is a great piece of relationship advice. If you take the relationship or the other person for granted, you’ll stop seeing the value that they bring to your life and will stop putting in the necessary effort that the relationship needs and deserves. The other people in your relationships deserve your respect and you should never simply assume that they will be there.
Value is a personal thing, we assign value, base on how we feel about what we like most. For example... we men often value the aesthetics most... seldom do we love and praise our women for their minds and their pure hearts of doing good things!  but if we compliment her deeds, we would realize that we will appreciate those things about her for so much longer.... probably a life time. 

 Feel entitled – no relationship is guaranteed to be easy and they certainly aren’t guaranteed to work. No matter how comfortable you may feel with that other person, there will always be ways that you can work on bettering yourself and bettering the relationship. Nothing will be handed to you, and knowing that up front will help make sure you don’t feel overly hardened when facing tough times. Psychology Today lists a number of different phrases and mindsets to avoid, including “I deserve to be happy.”
Entitlement to happiness is in essence telling someone else that they will fail if they don't make you feel happy... News flash: if you bring happiness that you are internally carrying around with you..... you will share it with other. Don't expect someone else to do for you what you are not trying to do for yourself.  

Compare relationships – your relationship is YOUR relationship. It’s not the relationship your best friend has with her boyfriend, or that your parents have, and it certainly isn’t the relationship in the new romantic comedy movie. There will always be something about another relationship that you may deem “better”, but if you are constantly comparing your relationship to someone else’s, it will be impossible for you to truly enjoy what you have.

they look like such a happy couple

Drawing Comparisons --- can be  one of the biggest relationship killers... if someone has what you want then you will never be satisfied with what you have. Gratitude  that you have that someone in your life  is the best feeling.... If you don't appreciate who you have and compare that person to someone else's partner... You will always admire the greener grass... which is easy because you don't have to  be responsible for the up keep! 

 Refuse to learn from mistakes – just as no relationship is going to be easy, no relationship is going to be perfect, either. I find myself making mistakes in my relationship every single day, but instead of ignoring them or pushing them under the carpet, I meet them head on, figure out why I made the mistake, and make a point to be cognizant to avoid that same mistake in the future. The mistakes aren’t usually what will damage the relationship – it is refusing to make any positive improvements when they come up.

Own your mistakes ---- if we start taking responsibility for what is going wrong or has gone wrong we will find less fault with others. If everyone of us do that, then the relationship will be blameless. and we can hold hands and state that "it is not your fault"

 Putting energy in the wrong places – The Huffington Post recently wrote a piece about this topic and one point they made was about how it’s important not to waste energy in ways that can’t lead to anything productive. There are always going to be things to waste your energy on – the wrong relationships, petty drama, factors that are completely out of our control. Instead, try making a concerted effort to only focus on things you CAN control, and focus on improving upon those areas in your life.
Energizing  that one area you see as positive ----- Energy flow from positive to negative.. ebb and flow. it flows so put it to work in the way it was intended... putting positive energy into positive activities, and ride out the negative moments. 
example: A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "Careful! Put in some more oil! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them!

Turn them now! You need more oil. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more oil?

The eggs are going to stick! Careful, careful! I said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?

Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget that. Use the salt. Use the Salt! The Salt!"

The wife stared at him angrily, "What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you how it feels when I'm DRIVING and you do the same! !!"

Refuse accountability – if you make a mistake in your relationship, one of the easiest and most common defense mechanisms is to point blame elsewhere, be it the other people in the relationship, the situation, or any other outside factors. But by holding yourself accountable, owning up to your mistakes, and working to rectify the situation, you will be showing that you have true respect for not only the people involved but for the relationship itself.-

 accountability.....The Secret of Happiness!
A man and his fiance were getting married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.
A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." She offered.
"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."
The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.
"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your list."
The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.
"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said happily.
Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."
The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.
IN LIFE, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.
We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.
Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying things when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?
I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST when we see and praise the good and try our best to forego the mistakes of our spouse. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfection in them to change the way we see them. It is necessary to understand the difficulties and be a helping hand to each other...

 Give up – no matter how hard a situation might be, if your relationship is truly worth it, you should never give up on trying to make it work. There are days that it may seem impossible to get back on the right track, but by remaining optimistic and working on making continuous improvements, you will soon start to see the benefits.

Giving up on relationships...... are very common these days..... simply put we have time limits on our commitments... When you are no longer committed (giving up becomes the alternative to solving the temporary problems) NO problem is permanent they are all temporary. Try thinking back to the worse problem you had 20 years ago... is it still a problem now? So ask yourself will  this problem you are experiencing now  still be a problem 20 years from now. or 1- 5 years for that matter.    

Decoding guys' communication and avoiding misinterpretations when dating.

What I’ve learned over the years while  speaking with a host of male buddies   regularly is that our words are usually very direct, loud and clear. Sometimes as women you choose to only see and hear what you want to hear and see ....you should  not misinterpret or  put more thought into what we're  saying than you should. What may help is if you actually write down what a man  says, read it back and ask yourself, (record it if you have to, so you can hear it in his voice)  does this make sense? Did he really just say what you think he just said? Moreover, when all else fails, our actions will speak louder than our words. Be cognizant of our actions and in these cases, believe our words and our behavior will tell you exactly what you need to know!

I've taken the top occurrences to help you decode what he’s REALLY saying to you. Take notes!

I will put the following one  first as Number zero and number the rest:

Did I get your right size?

0. "I love" - We men are dead scare of saying these words and not having these feeling returned with an  "I Love You Too". So we  take our time before saying it... so If we say it,  after weeks or even months of dating.... then don't question it. Because we really do "Love You!" Nothing gets on our nerves more than being asked "are you sure?" after we have waited to say those scary words  and when we finally do say it, you doubt it.

Those eyes are expecting more..
But there is No other explanation..coming !  

1. “I’m good!” - When a man says he’s good, believe him.  It translates to I like things the way they are and I am not looking to add or change anything.  He could be very comfortable with who he is and the way he’s done things over the years and he’s not planning on making any adjustments. If you want to change a man, who says he is good then you might just get him to not be good with you, which is so different to what you want. Trust me  on this one, he is good with what you have together... Leave it at that!    

The rest of these are when a man is not really committed to you.

2. "I promise" (ONLY IF he doesn't come through) - If he consistently promises to do things, then doesn’t show up or call, put more stock in his actions instead of the excuse.  For instance, if you know the two of you made concrete plans to go out or you were to meet him somewhere and he’s nowhere to be found not only at the meeting time but for hours and even days afterwards, you’re just not a priority.  And depending on how you’ve responded in the past, he probably knows there are no consequences if he offers a great excuse so it will happen again and again. Put an end to the behavior by not being available next time and letting him know it’s totally not OK....

I know I've let you down,but my dog made me do it!

3.“I have friends”  - Yes ladies, there’s no need to ponder this statement any further.  This means exactly what he said, he has “female friends” in rotation and most often some may be romantically. What you should learn is, as women you should always lean on the side of “there is always someone he can call and someone that is calling him” even if he’s single. Often times women may want to believe that a man we just met is truthful when he says “I’m totally single but have friends.”  What that usually means is he has other options and he is either waiting on the “right one” or he is loving his single life.

Just enjoy, the music it's too loud to talk!

4. “We are just having a good time” - Take the words for face value “a good time” He doesn’t plan in the near future to convert you to his woman just yet. Yes he is enjoying spending time with you whatever it may be whether it’s going out or being intimate but he is by no means in a rush to transfer this friendship into a committed  relationship.  So if you are expecting something more or have made it your goal to convert this into a serious relationship, don’t push!

So when will I become "his special Lady?"

5. “This is my friend or this is Angela”-  If there is no title attached to your introduction, you are exactly who he is introducing you as.  Whether it’s This is Angela, Regina, my people, my home-girl, or my FRIEND…..that is who you are to him at that very moment.  Please take note of that. He is saying it LOUD AND CLEAR who you are to him and where you stand. Now that might change but don't hold your breath and turn blue trying to make him give you a title before he is ready.... the old school saying that comes to mind at this point is " you can't push a rope... up a hill."  

Well my  first Lady we have shown
 the World how to do it right!

6. “I’m busy”- Translation: “I’m too busy for you right now.”  Unfortunately, he has decided not to put you on the list of esteem important things to make time for.  When you think about it, we are all busy in some capacity but we will make time for a phone call, squeeze in a dinner, or a text message from time to time.  There are 24 hours in  a day and there is no way he is busy all 24! He’s in his car driving and can call you, he is getting dressed for work and can call, and let’s face it, if he’s watching the game, there is always half-time.   If Oprah Winfrey with all that she handles can foster her relationship with her good friend Gail for years on end or President Obama can still squeeze in date night with his wife while in charge of the country, surely we can all make time if that’s what we put our minds to do.

7. “I’m not hungry” – OK ladies we know you believe you can throw down in the kitchen, but if every time you make something he says he’s already eaten, let me tell you if you are in love you might need some new recipes.  Call someone you know who is known for their delicious food and get some new dishes under your belt, then surprise him.

Is it Wet or dry?
Will it look like this again tomorrow?

8. “It’s OK” – Let’s say you just tried a new hairstyle or bought a new outfit and you’re not even sure yourself if it’s complimentary, our next question to him is usually, “How do you like it?”  If he looks at it, looks away and says “It’s OK.”  He’s between  a rock and a hard place.  In that split second, he doesn’t want to lie but knows he’s not thrilled.  Instead of getting mad for lack of more details and replying to him with, “It’s OK??!!  What do you mean by that?”  Why not create a comfortable environment for him to share his real feelings which is what you really wants anyway.  You can say something like, “Hmmm, What would you change about it if you could?”

9. “Let’s try something different” – If you hear these words, be aware.  This is Man Language for, “I’m starting to get bored.”  Maybe you’ve never tried Thai food or thought hiking would be fun but you know it’s something he would enjoy.  Relationships are what you make them and it’s about keeping things new, fresh, and exciting with the same person.  If you’ve found yourself in a boring routine and you hear those words, be open when you can to sharing new experiences and creating lasting memories together.

You never take me anywhere,
your place is NOT  all that! 

10. "I like chilling at my place." - This is a subliminal message that I’m only interested in seeing you at night or behind closed doors and not comfortable being out in public for one reason or another.   Meanwhile, when you talk to him throughout the week, he’s out and having a great time at sports bars and concerts with his friends.  Yes something is definitely wrong with this picture and you need to get to the bottom of it fast. What it could mean is that he is actually actively dating, just not dating you.

4 Skills You Need to Master Before Getting deeper into a relationship

Communication
Communication is one of the most important skills to master before getting married, regardless of how long you have been dating your significant other. Ensuring you are both capable of communicating openly and honestly at all times is a way to work through potential issues or problems you may need to overcome as a couple in the future. Having the ability to communicate your true thoughts and feelings without becoming defensive is also beneficial not only for marriage, but also other relationships in your everyday life.

Declaring that you want to make a relationship permanent requires that both parties  communicate what the ground rules will be... Not one person has the perfect answer for another person... therefore  partnerships require communication that let you set ground rules to follow when things aren't perfect... and miss understanding will happen ... Nothing will work well without rules that both can agree to as a default positions.  

Listening Skills
Listening is essential to improve and grow in any type of relationship, including the relationship you want to have with your significant other once you are married to  each other. Having the ability to openly listen while actively engaging in others’ stories and thoughts is a way to build and gain trust while also showing respect to family members, friends and your spouse. Showing your significant other that you genuinely care about their thoughts is possible by nodding yes while listening, making eye contact and asking additional questions relevant to the stories they are sharing. 

The 21st century technology allows us to find ways
 to let someone listen to us! At their leasure,

We are most vulnerable when we are telling our life's story to the person who needs to understands us best... Just remember your Miranda rights..... " anything you say, can and will be used against you" in a heated argument or a dispute... this  however should not make you be silent, but it should be kept in mind... If you can't be vulnerable  with the person you are planning to spend your life with..... Then you are not off to solid start...   
.
Compromising
Compromising with one another is a key factor in keeping a marriage happy and successful for all individuals who are involved. Learning to compromise is necessary from both individuals who have decided to get married to one another. Once you are able to easily compromise with your spouse it is much less likely you are going to trigger an argument or conflict which can negatively impact your relationship altogether.

Compromise is always a sacrifice, it should never be one sided. It's an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.It should be  a balance achieved between two desirable but incompatible features.It is never a balanced compromise unless both parties agree that there should be sacrifice by both of you.



Financial Management
Learning to manage your finances more strictly and carefully is also ideal to avoid potential conflict related to money issues once you are married to your significant other. Financial management skills come in handy when you want to build your credit, apply for a new credit card or even take out a loan as a couple with excellent credit history. Getting your finances in order is a way to ensure you are moving forward in the right direction even before you are officially married to your new  spouse.

 Start with a test of honor... Just use the test the cookie jar theory.. fill it with something both of you like. every time one of you  takes something out of the cookie jar that person needs to leave a note of how much was taken and when it will be replaced. do not go out to dinner together unless you check and  balance the spending account.  I said "Spending account" which could and should be different to the checking or savings account. Very often couples don't think this is necessary... and this can be a big mistake.