Correct what is wrong and you will have harmony!

Relationships, whether they are familial, intimate, or platonic, most always come with some complications and even hardships. You have to work at them, be dedicated to their success, and be ready for the ups and down that may come with them. They can certainly take a mental toll, and it is important to be able to recognize various strategies and be able to accept relationship advice when necessary. Below are 7 things that mentally strong people don’t do in relationships.


Take it for granted – this may be one of the most important things to remember when working on being mentally strong in your relationship and is a great piece of relationship advice. If you take the relationship or the other person for granted, you’ll stop seeing the value that they bring to your life and will stop putting in the necessary effort that the relationship needs and deserves. The other people in your relationships deserve your respect and you should never simply assume that they will be there.
Value is a personal thing, we assign value, base on how we feel about what we like most. For example... we men often value the aesthetics most... seldom do we love and praise our women for their minds and their pure hearts of doing good things!  but if we compliment her deeds, we would realize that we will appreciate those things about her for so much longer.... probably a life time. 

 Feel entitled – no relationship is guaranteed to be easy and they certainly aren’t guaranteed to work. No matter how comfortable you may feel with that other person, there will always be ways that you can work on bettering yourself and bettering the relationship. Nothing will be handed to you, and knowing that up front will help make sure you don’t feel overly hardened when facing tough times. Psychology Today lists a number of different phrases and mindsets to avoid, including “I deserve to be happy.”
Entitlement to happiness is in essence telling someone else that they will fail if they don't make you feel happy... News flash: if you bring happiness that you are internally carrying around with you..... you will share it with other. Don't expect someone else to do for you what you are not trying to do for yourself.  

Compare relationships – your relationship is YOUR relationship. It’s not the relationship your best friend has with her boyfriend, or that your parents have, and it certainly isn’t the relationship in the new romantic comedy movie. There will always be something about another relationship that you may deem “better”, but if you are constantly comparing your relationship to someone else’s, it will be impossible for you to truly enjoy what you have.

they look like such a happy couple

Drawing Comparisons --- can be  one of the biggest relationship killers... if someone has what you want then you will never be satisfied with what you have. Gratitude  that you have that someone in your life  is the best feeling.... If you don't appreciate who you have and compare that person to someone else's partner... You will always admire the greener grass... which is easy because you don't have to  be responsible for the up keep! 

 Refuse to learn from mistakes – just as no relationship is going to be easy, no relationship is going to be perfect, either. I find myself making mistakes in my relationship every single day, but instead of ignoring them or pushing them under the carpet, I meet them head on, figure out why I made the mistake, and make a point to be cognizant to avoid that same mistake in the future. The mistakes aren’t usually what will damage the relationship – it is refusing to make any positive improvements when they come up.

Own your mistakes ---- if we start taking responsibility for what is going wrong or has gone wrong we will find less fault with others. If everyone of us do that, then the relationship will be blameless. and we can hold hands and state that "it is not your fault"

 Putting energy in the wrong places – The Huffington Post recently wrote a piece about this topic and one point they made was about how it’s important not to waste energy in ways that can’t lead to anything productive. There are always going to be things to waste your energy on – the wrong relationships, petty drama, factors that are completely out of our control. Instead, try making a concerted effort to only focus on things you CAN control, and focus on improving upon those areas in your life.
Energizing  that one area you see as positive ----- Energy flow from positive to negative.. ebb and flow. it flows so put it to work in the way it was intended... putting positive energy into positive activities, and ride out the negative moments. 
example: A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "Careful! Put in some more oil! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them!

Turn them now! You need more oil. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more oil?

The eggs are going to stick! Careful, careful! I said be CAREFUL!

You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?

Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget that. Use the salt. Use the Salt! The Salt!"

The wife stared at him angrily, "What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you how it feels when I'm DRIVING and you do the same! !!"

Refuse accountability – if you make a mistake in your relationship, one of the easiest and most common defense mechanisms is to point blame elsewhere, be it the other people in the relationship, the situation, or any other outside factors. But by holding yourself accountable, owning up to your mistakes, and working to rectify the situation, you will be showing that you have true respect for not only the people involved but for the relationship itself.-

 accountability.....The Secret of Happiness!
A man and his fiance were getting married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true.
A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: "I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage." She offered.
"Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together."
The husband agreed. So each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists.
"I'll start," offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it. Enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes.
"What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" the husband replied, "keep reading your list."
The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.
"Now, you read your list and then we'll talk about the things on both of our lists." She said happily.
Quietly the husband stated, "I don't have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn't want to try and change anything about you."
The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.
IN LIFE, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them.
We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.
Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying things when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?
I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST when we see and praise the good and try our best to forego the mistakes of our spouse. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfection in them to change the way we see them. It is necessary to understand the difficulties and be a helping hand to each other...

 Give up – no matter how hard a situation might be, if your relationship is truly worth it, you should never give up on trying to make it work. There are days that it may seem impossible to get back on the right track, but by remaining optimistic and working on making continuous improvements, you will soon start to see the benefits.

Giving up on relationships...... are very common these days..... simply put we have time limits on our commitments... When you are no longer committed (giving up becomes the alternative to solving the temporary problems) NO problem is permanent they are all temporary. Try thinking back to the worse problem you had 20 years ago... is it still a problem now? So ask yourself will  this problem you are experiencing now  still be a problem 20 years from now. or 1- 5 years for that matter.