There’s something about that right person, that special someone that makes you smile just thinking about them. You look forward to the next time you see them, talk to them or read something they wrote. They may not be extraordinarily attractive, rich, or perfect in any way but they’re perfect for you.
Choosing good people to be in your life means no one forced you to be together. You weren’t matched up or hooked up. Chances are you weren’t even looking for each other, it just happened. I don’t mean that in a coincidental or even spiritual way, I think we attract certain energies into our universe based on what kind of energy we put out. So, even when we don’t think we’re choosing we really are, it’s just subconscious. When we want something or someone’s attention we know how to get it, whether it’s the way we walk, dress, speak, smile, or when we friend request someone on social media. We all, in some way, want to be connected.I know I talk a lot about the fear of being alone and people learning to create their own happiness but we are social creators. We need contact with other human beings to feel alive, to feel relevant, to feel love.
You get me; you can relate to how I think, and you love a good debate. But challenging each other is how we get to the next level. So, hell yes, I choose you, what man in his right mind would allow so many beautiful, intelligent, and open minded woman to go another day without feeling wanted and appreciated. Thanks for giving me something special to look forward to every day, but most of all, thanks for being perfect for me! We click, you understand me, and in the end that’s why we choose each other. ~ Michael Baisden
Is he trying to get me drunk?
My perspective: There are some things that can't be explained using science. We just feel things, Smart people do not just rely on facts, they listen to and follow their intuition. "Hmmm, is he/she for real?"
Things that get the clock ticking... you start listing, to take notes, when a phrase is repeated, when references are used in examples over and over again. The facts are not always self-evident, "words" are reflections of thoughts, gestures are reflections of interest or intentions. Repetitions aren't always Rehearsed, they can be genuine. The eyes are a window to the soul. If these things set of an alarm-off in your head, do the following before you take another sip of that glass of wine, that just got topped off, take a deep breathe and ask for a glass of water. Always Having a clear head can be the difference between becoming involved with the right person and falling prey to the hunter.
Now this feels just right!
Now my perspective is not meant to be the negative to what Michael Baisden wrote about. I've been around the block a few times, on my tricycle, my bike, in a sports car, a family car, and a luxury vehicle. each experience taught me something. No matter how Smart people think, they are, they shouldn't always rely on facts. We listen and give into compliments, good attention is something that soften us up, we become more in tune to the fact that we are lonely. Even Adam, became Lonely, he never had a prior mate, before Eve, and was granted his wish. So if you had a romantic experience with someone in the past and lost it. then it's Nice to hear "I choose You" again by someone new, even if those words are not used, the actions reflect the thoughts, it rings like music to our ears. Being chosen is " a compliment to you." Choosing someone, is "a compliment to the other person!" Now when you both choose each other, and neither have ulterior motives, the energy is right. the Chemistry is right, the warning "caution" light stops blinking. If all the above happens.... then relax..... and enjoy the experience! Strong feels can build if you give them half a chance. Strong bonds can formed if you match up and it's more than just a physical attraction. Recognize.... If there is a consistent effort of "I choose you" then there is something there that is more than just a passing fancy!
1. “To let the lips talk” After talking and using so many words, kissing is a way we express intimacy that no words can articulate. Being a good communicator is very important. but there are times when you just need to shut up and let the moment just become magical connection. If she just says stop talking and kiss me you fool.. just do as she says.
2. “It is a sign of pleasure”
We close our eyes every time we are experiencing something pleasurable; when we listen to a beautiful song, when we pray, when we worship, when we sleep, when having an orgasm, when drinking sweet chocolate.
OK, the above needs not explanation. close your eyes and trust that the experience will be kismet.
3. “It is a sign of trust” You don’t have to be eyes-wide opened and on the look out when you are in a place of trust and security. OK lets be clear here, men usually trust women from the out set, We just have to put in some work to have the woman trust us.
4. “It heightens pleasure”
When one of your five senses is blocked, the other senses are heightened in function; ask the blind, the deaf or dumb. When you close your eyes when kissing, your sense of touch that connects your lips is heightened. You concentrate on the sweetness of the lips. Oh wow, it's all about the senses. so if you have a sixth sense... You will have max pleasure, because you will see it coming!.
5. “It is a sign of surrender”
It shows you are not fighting the kiss, you’re kissing back, you’re giving into the moment. We men are often in control as things start to happen, however when a woman positions herself so that she is control of the kissing moment and the man close his eyes he surrenders control to her, willingly.
6. “To avoid an awkward scene” It will be weird and spooky when you have wide-opened eyes looking directly at you at such a close distance for so many minutes. Awkward is one of those situations to avoid at all cost and at this points, during intimacy it's all about the energy, you are generating together.
7. “You are turned on”
A long kiss is such a turn on. Closing your eyes is you shutting off everything that is happening around you, to concentrate on the arousal and excitement happening inside you. Three word Location, Environment, Spontaneity.. I translate K.I.S.S. = Keep It Sententiously Sexy.
If You Want A Relationship, You Need To Make Room For One
Some people are single because they haven’t made room in their lives for a relationship. And when I say made room, I mean that literally. Do you have room in your closet, do you have room in your drawers, do you have room in the medicine cabinet, do you have room in your schedule? How can we expect someone of quality to be attracted to us when we design our whole lives to fit only us? We live in just enough space to fit in our stuff; we only have enough space in our schedule for our friends, kids, family, work, church and maybe the gym. Emotionally, we’re invested in our friends and their issues. And then we have the audacity to ask, why am I not meeting any quality single men or women? My answer is, you don’t have room for one!
I was supposed to make room for just one !
People are working longer hours to make ends meet, there’s homework with the kids, three to four hours of sports or reality TV every night, Facebook and Twitter take up another hour or two a day, and let’s not forget the hour-long phone conversations and texting with friends gossiping about absolutely nothing! So why are you so surprised that you’re single? You don’t deserve a good man or a good woman! They require your time!
By Michael Baisden
As much as I agree with part of what my brother Michael Baisden stated above.
I hear you, but I'm not feeling yo
I have a slightly different view on the subject. First, let's define what kind of relationship is most ideal for you. Some folks have no problem making room as long as it's a Merger , and not a Takeover. Takeovers always become hostile. Mergers are always about compromise. When a woman, or a Man is a home owner. Be it a Condo, Villa, Townhouse, or even A Mega 10 acre estate. any time someone else is going to share your space Compromise is always required, by the Home owner. No real compromise by the person moving into the new environment. The person having to compromise is almost always less enthusiastic about the sharing of space. The so called " Mi casa, su casa" is a myth. the best relationships are built when you decide to get a brand new place together, then you can go shopping for what will work best for both of you.
A man never buys a King size bed unless he was sharing it with someone already. So when a lady moves in with him. he has to give her almost all the closet space, (men will never have as much clothing as a woman) and may just have a small section of the full size bed,(because she is most comfortable in the middle of the bed.) even a Queen size bed might not be large enough. Women will buy a King size bed because she anticipates sharing it with someone,or she already has kids, a dog, two cats, or whatever. Very seldom does a man have that many dependents living with him. when he is moving in with someone.
So when a new dude, in a woman's life, moves in with her most likely he will not be bringing much with him, Just in case it does not work out he will have less to pack and move. He might have to move when it's cold outside and that is not Cool.
If you make room for someone you are always compromising, they don't have to, they are sharing (invading) your environment. Now don't get me wrong some invasions are good. For example: you meet the right person, and you hit it off you decide to make it permanent. she/ he is a reasonable person, this is one who does not demand what they think they should have, then it all becomes a less pressured situation. You want that person in your life and you have an amicable Merger, compromise is welcomed and therefore minimal strain and no stress.
You want a Harmonious Mergers which almost always works out best. because no one feels like the other person is intruding on the one persons space.You welcome the sharing. I will give up half if I see that the other person just want to share ( and not take over), but if the other person wants to start a takeover then it eventually will become hostile situation.
Don't expect to move in with me if your half is defined as me sharing my environment with you, with your 5 kids, 2 dogs and a cat. Do the simple math, how will that ever be a fair Equitable Merger.
For too many nice guys, it’s the same process over and over again. You meet a woman you’re interested in. She insists on going out on several dates to get better acquainted, at his expense, of course. And for the next two months he takes her out to dinner, buys her clothes, pays to get her hair and nails done, and helps her move five rooms of heavy furniture across town. And what does he get for his trouble? A well-fed, well-dressed, unappreciative woman living in a well-furnished new apartment. When he suggests getting intimate, she drops the bomb on him. “I just want to be friends.”
After so many of these emasculating experiences, the nice guy begins to see the light. Although he has been raised in a home where women were put on a pedestal, he becomes fed up with these continuous assaults on his manhood and his wallet. At last, his innocent eyes have been opened to the cold world of the material girl. Now he must take a stand and look out for his own interests.
By Michael Baisden
I can't make you l-o-v-e me if you don't
Here is my perspective: Why do I somewhat disagree with the above: An intimate relationship with someone is not payment for good deeds. If a man wants to get paid for his kind deeds, tell her up front "I will need compensation, in currency, but because I like you so very much I will give you a discount." Wining and dining a lady is a choice we men make. If you don't want to do it, then don't do it.. Oooh wait....! then you loose (by default) without competing for her affections. But what does that tell you about the woman you are attracted to. Gifts are gifts, don't give a gift while thinking I want something in return, then you are batering. dining with someone is not a lead-in to having sex with that person. Would you buy your buddy dinner or a drink to have sex with him? Oooh wait! don't answer that! this topic is not about down-low-actions. We all have skills that we have perfected, show the person you are attracted to....... your attributes and then let her decide if you are the person she want in her life. If she sees you as the guy she wants, and she still insist on having you do all the things Michael Baisden described above, then as a man, you should understand what she is about, you need to be able to navigate those waters. But you better get you nautical captains license. Women are very deep... to understand a woman you have to go to the cosmos and back ... and even then you will not. Because no two are the same not even twins. Hmmm! I JUST GOT AN IMAGE <smirking>in my head.
Why not just except that your motives( as a man) are not exactly pure or honorable. So we as men are playing the game, but when you don't get to run the bases. if you think you have played nine innings and have just hit an in the park the home run, but got thrown out. We want to cry foul. She may want you to do all those the things she want as a prerequisite, but the Choice is always yours. If you make the right choices for the Right reason then you will have less regrets. We all want something from the other person, that is just human, but waiting to get paid back and not getting what you want makes you a very bad negotiator. And BAD negotiators start out without leverage to make the deal work.compromise is part of all negotiations If someone tells you different then they have never sat across from a touch female negotiator.
Establishing an effective way to communicate your wants, needs, likes and dislikes without being considered mean is essential to growing old with someone. Listen to understand instead of listing to respond. Negativity usual raises it's ugly head after two people have been together for awhile, Negative term precede the positives. example: " You just do things that p!ss me off, these days! instead of " why aren't you being more like how you were, "you were so considerate back then"
You can still make me laugh!
To build the deepest bond with the one you love, you must have one thing down: communication.
If you are the kind of woman who says what’s on her mind, though I understand that some people aren’t like that or don’t feel as natural discussing their feelings. But at some point, speaking your mind to get what you want is necessary to reach the fullest potential in your relationships.
It’s okay to want different things to your 20-year-old self and it’s okay talk about it to the person with whom you share your life. The same goes for your partner; you want your spouse to grow and evolve, too. The quickest way to grow apart is to stop sharing and communicating with each other. It should be a main goal to understand your spouse. (Notice that I didn’t say agree, I said understand.)
Giving your spouse the freedom to go through natural stages of life without being judged is so very special. Understanding them just means that you can see where they’re coming from and that you support them. The inner peace that comes from knowing that your spouse understands you, supports you and looks forward to experiencing the future with you, no matter how you evolve, is the ultimate gold star in the love department. positive !
With that, here are my favorite tips for keeping the lines of communication in your relationship open and growing your bond:
And you thought I couldn't keep up with you!
1. Get on the same spiritual page
Are you religious? Spiritual? Both? Not sure? Find out! This I can’t stress enough. Give your relationship something to fall back on. Realize where your faith lies and get aligned together.
2. Talk about your day together, every day!
Do you know what I went through today?
It doesn’t take long to catch each other up on what’s happening in each other’s lives. It is essential time spent together and can keep little things (frustrations) from building into big things. Also, it gives you time to share the triumphs from the day; so much happens, don’t get caught not knowing with whom you live.
3. Dream together!
Take the time to think about what the future holds. Not just next month, but next year, in two years, in five years, in 10 and at retirement. Once you dream together, you can create a visual picture in your mind of what the future looks like. When you start with your ultimate dreams in thought, they turn out to be your reality down the line.
4. Talk about what you love about your relationship
Your memories of each other and how you met. Being reminded of how and why you got together in the first place are great reminders for you and great examples for your kids.
Thank you for suggesting this walk on the beach
5. Be in your moments together
Realize that you were picked by one another for good reasons. Your paths crossed, not out of coincidence, but because you were meant for each other. Understand that where you are right now is exactly where you’re supposed to be, so be there, in every moment. Breathe and feel the blessings of love that surround you, pay attention to the little things, enjoy them, take mental notes of what you love, affirm what you love and act out of love. In those conditions, all relationships will strengthen and flourish.
News flash: it does not mean all of these things listed below. obviously this what a woman wants to believe is true Love . The truth from a man's perspective is written in Italic. My BAD perspective.
HE CATERS TO YOU.
He makes sure you're happy day in and day out. He listens to your crazy work stories; he rubs your neck when it's sore; he cooks you dinner on the nights you're feeling sleepy. Caring for you is one of his top priorities, and he does a damn good job of it.
The truth of the matter is, the above is just what a woman wants to believe, because it has been what men wanted from women for decades, I can not speak about centuries because I have only lived for decades. No one can make you happy.... day in and day out. A man will try to enhance your happiness but he can't do what you are resisting. If you are unhappy it is up to you to change it. Look at it as he is topping off your glass of your favorite drink, He is adding to what is already what is satisfying your need. his presence is an added value!
Lean on me,when you are doing your thing!
HE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH YOU . . . A LOT.
If he's texting you every day to see if you'd like to Netflix and chill (I kid, I kid), you mean something to this guy, because, let's face it - they're notorious for spontaneous ghosting.
Hmmm! Yeah he will do these things as long as it does not interfere with the things he loves to do. Just think about it.. you want him to sacrifice, willingly, what he wants to do, to do what you want to do.. which makes him less happy. and to just prove his Love for you while he is unhappy.. this can't happen, it will not happen. Compromise on both of your desires. Do what is fun for both of you. That is what will work best.. you are both happiest when you are both enjoying what you are doing sitting together on the sofa, Try and Netflix your movie on your laptop or Tablet. Let him watch the game on the bigger screen.
SEX ISN'T A HUGE FACTOR FOR HIM.
We will remember this moment,
every time we are take a shower together
Sure, he likes to do the dirty here and there, but sex isn't the reason he's with you. Far from it. In fact, he wants to do SO much more with you by his side - travel to another country! Sample beer! Have a half-birthday party! The possibilities are endless.
This get's me every time! Young Men think about sex every 2 seconds...Ohh hell (Mature men are not much different) when a man stops wanting to have you in his arms and wanting to have a physical connection with you , he starts loosing interest...this does not mean he stops loving you... he is just not as crazy about your attributes as he was in the beginning of your relationship. And may need some stimulation, visual as well as physical.
HE KEEPS YOU IN MIND WHEN MAKING MAJOR DECISIONS.
He doesn't take a new job without talking to you first. Or maybe he's thinking about renting an apartment across the city, but he wants to double check that the commute between your place and his will be OK (or perhaps he wants you to move in with him!). Sizable decisions like this have a bearing on your partnership, and he's well aware.
A major factor in every great relationships is joint decisions on major issues. If you can't sit and discuss life's changing decisions and take all the factors into consideration..... then you will want different things. You will not be happy, and he will not be happy if you differ on major decisions. example: he decides to get's a hot tub for both or you to relax in. and you are not a hot tub person, then you will use it to make him happy (maybe even enjoy it for a moment, but you are not happy sharing this with him....( because you are thinking about a possible yeast infection this could cause) Ooops miscalculation.
HE TELLS YOU THINGS HE'S NEVER TOLD ANYONE.
Late at night - which, everybody knows is prime time for life's most meaningful conversations - he tells you things he's never, ever told anyone . . . not even his best bro. FYI: This is the equivalent of a man forking over his heart.
LOL, if he tells you things he would not tell his best bro, then it is just telling you things about you and things that affect you. Guys can keep secrets, and wait until they find that one woman to connect with and tell her this secret, but this is just not likely. How great will you feel about him telling you that he would rather be a woman and that he will start going through a sex change? NOT so cool sharing that secret, now is it.Men seldom have secrets that we keep hidden unless they are BAD secrets, good news are often shared with everyone close to us. You can't have a good exclusive unless it involves you as the main player in the mix.
HE DOESN'T FLIRT WITH OTHER GIRLS.
If he has eyes only for you (seriously - just you!), this guy's a different fish. And you don't have to monitor his every move to see if he's hitting up other ladies - call it a woman's instinct or whatever, but you just know . . . you know?
Oooh stop it! If you have to worry about this stuff. then you better go live on a private Island with no other people around you, just the two of you. Men don't really flirt ( women flirt) men hit on the women they want to have sex with. Women can flirt and have it be completely harmless. Men have no intention to start something with another woman that will not end with him having an orgasm. Let's face the facts, If he flirts and You catch him, he will be chastised for having sexual intention towards another woman, he might as well have engaged in sex with her in his car in the parking lot just before you caught him. Because he is guilty of thinking it and in your mind it's just as BAD as the act it's self. A woman can have fantasies about the male stripper. but Men should never have sexual desires for other women... Just stop asking for the impossible!
HE DOESN'T MIND TALKING ABOUT THE FUTURE.
When you bring up buying a house or getting engaged somewhere down the line, he doesn't flee for the front door. He doesn't have to be 100 percent on board with big relationship steps, but he's totally open to having a real conversation about them.
The Future is just less than a second away. When one brings up major purchases and only one person is on that page.... Your relationship is not READY for the long term commitment. this does not mean He does not Love you, it just means he is not on that page yet.
HE SHOWS YOU OFF.
He totes you around like the flashiest new handbag. His mom, best friend, and a dozen of his cousins know a heck of a lot about you, because he's head over heels and wants to share it with the world.
Seriously? You want to be carried around like a flashy handbag? REAL men do not carry flashy handbags! Here is where woman need to think like a man and start thinking about partnerships. Men become practical about mergers. If a man is seeing you as an acquisition and is telling everyone he is putting you in the same category as a New car, not even a new house. Let me explain. Mature men think about partnerships these days. In my father's day it was about acquisitions/possession of a mate. Women want to be admired/desired respected by the man who loves her, my dad learned that the hard way. A man will boast about your accomplishment your talents your beauty (that is what he see) if he needs the approval of other he is just not sure, yet. let's face it to pass the full test of his family requires time...
HE LOVES MAKING YOU FEEL SPECIAL.
He doesn't just treat you like a queen - he wants to treat you like a queen. Sure, it can feel like a chore in any committed relationship, but for the most part, he's got a smile on his face when he's with you . . . because you're the one.
OK, First he needs to think of himself as a King and not a Prince.. think about these two labels, A Prince goes with Princess, A King goes with a Queen. You can't get a boy to think of you as Queen until he has come to the realization that he is ready to be a King. A Kings will make a princess a Queen. But If he is still thinking like a Prince, and does not see himself as your King in the future.... then you being his Queen is just a cougar/cub relationship. A Queen can not make a man a King! if she does he will go looking for a princess to make her into a Queen.
Last but not least here is a woman who sees things the way I do! So I'm not all B.A.D.
Are you working on going out on the chase again? .
Act I: As a man who has been though a few stages in life already . I think I can honestly say this stage, that I'm in right now is when I've been the most honest. Simply because I have more important thing to think about than trying to play games, and having to remember the game that I'm playing and on who I'm running the game. "Honesty" in my book is the simplest path one can take. I was listing to the video clips below and realized even when we men are at the stage that we should be mature enough to be doing the right things we still have disclaimers. It boils down to what kind of services the woman can perform for us that will make us happy. Not one of these guys talked about anything that they would do to make the woman happy. they may not realize that this is the 21st century. Women are not thinking about being servants or a freaky playmates to men. Strangely enough I have known this for years. as a Younger man while trying to be a bachelor,back in the day . My MO was to cook a woman a nice meal myself, clean my own house and do my own laundry, and make every encounter with her coming over to my dwelling a romantic one. When the right music is playing during dinner that I prepared from scratch It was always obvious to the girl/lady that she was not needed for domestic stuff. but her company was most appreciated. I carried this right into my marriage, and after my divorce picked up where I left off. Which during marriage may have spoiled my wife, this what her mother told me all too often. My defense has always been "an Independent man will never go hungry. and have all dirty clothing sitting in a hamper when he needs something to wear... and suffer because his wife is mad at him and wish that his partner would stop being angry with him and to do those things he needs. Do them yourself and claim your Independence. As a matter of fact do it so well, that she might feel a huge loss when you are not there to do those things that you don't mind doing for her. Iron her blouse so well that she will always ask you to do it. Now you may not want to do.. so that should tell you something that she may not always want to do the things that make you happy. You see when you reverse the process ( reverse engineering) you can always identify why the women get so disgusted with us. and to be clueless is to never think about it from her perspective.
Act II: Acting like your marital status serves two purposes is just a contradiction. Once again I know how well this stuff works. Having lived in 3 major metropolitan cities... during my early single years and when I was first married, I was taught many lessons. When You travel as man for business and you have that look that women are looking for. Your marital status is not their problem, it's your problem when you let someone provoke you to chase her. Men chase naturally , married or single we chase, even if it is in our minds. We may stop chasing for a period of time after we first get married..and are happily in a monogamous relationship. Why? Well we have what we think we want... because we chased her until she caught us and got us to commit. But then our natural chasing engine stopped being idle , then it restarts and kicks into gear after a period of time, we go looking for trouble. Well you can chase your wife over and over again. in 1-2-3-4 stages. Lets face it we as men are delusional most often . We think just because a woman talks to us that she is interested in us personally. She might be interested in something...but not in having you as her man. You might be able to help her further her career (career goals are high on women's to-do-list these days.) You might be able to show her how a good man behaves, she might be interested in so many different things you might have to offer but these things may have absolutely nothing to do with replacing your wife. A Rude awaking hits you in that stage when it's almost too late. She did not want me, she wanted what I could make happen for her. <smirking> I know what I bring to the table, what I bring is Experience, and Independence, maybe I even look good enough to be attractive still in someone eyes. but that is all aesthetics!
Act III: Even women believe if they were men they would be creeping! There are a lot of things that are guaranteed killers of relationships. There are, of course, the obvious ones like cheating and lying. But a new study says that the biggest potential killer of your relationship could be a new trend called “phubbing.” What is phubbing? Phubbing is the term used to refer to people who ignore the people around them because they are too absorbed in their phone screen It’s a portmanteau of “phone” and “snubbing!” this is what happenswhen technology makes it easy to step out on your partner.
"So tell me the truth did you flirt with my BFF on Social media?"
An overwhelming number of top divorce attorneys said that over the past five years they have seen an increase in the number of cases where cheating using social networks has been used as evidence.
I’ve been told by many of my single female friends on Facebook that they get hit on by more married men than single men. The married guys also list their status as married, and they post pictures of themselves and their wives. Is that bold or what? This is another example of how out of control and disrespectful men have become towards their significant other. It’s also a reflection of how desperate they perceive single women to be. Larry, who is a married 38-year-old teacher in New Jersey, made his point crystal clear.
“Why should I hide the fact that I’m married? That’s just one less lie to tell when we hook up. If she takes the bait with the understanding that I have a wife and kids, she’s accepting that it’s all about having sex, period!”
I recently did a show titled, “Does Facebook cause divorce?” It was based on a study done by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. In it, they stated that an overwhelming number of the nation’s top divorce attorneys said that over the past five years they have seen an increase in the number of cases where cheating using social networks has been used as evidence.
You know You have my attention, now!
~ By Michael Baisden
If I may just add my two cents to all the above: In my humble opinion the problem lies in the audience that Social Media provides. Back in the day a guy had to give account to his boys how many new females he had sex with, a weekly status report of some kind... Now social media provides an audience. and unless you are really good at covering your tracks, and still being able to show proof that you are playing and you are creeping. Now we all want to be stars on stage.. and social media provide the ultimate stage. But what most don't understand is the Many-to-Many relational data-flow that occurs whenever you post something. You can't monitor how far your post will reach if you though it wouldn't reach the one person you didn't want it to reach you would restrain from making moves online (period). If You are a cheater you run the risk that you will get caught, and getting caught can be very expensive. but in the creeping guy's defense.... I tip toe here....! Some women have used sex, or the lack of, to manipulate men into getting what they want or to get revenge.Some women ration out sex for the sole purpose of control. It is no secret that women have used sex, or the lack of, to manipulate men into getting what they want. It is nature’s erotic tool to hammer out deals and adjust the situation to suit her needs. Likewise, it can be used as a primitive weapon to shoot down a man’s ego and kill his masculinity. This, BTW, can cause a man to creep. If you want a good man to stay home then stop playing him and stop pulling his string.
You have to have a lot MORE THAN GOOD LOOKS these days.
A woman's confidence shows in her smile!
Have you ever sat across the table from a man and wondered what draws him to you? You know you look good, but you think that is the only reason he likes you. The fact is it goes deeper than just looks. Here are things real men are looking for in women:
1. Independence
No real man wants to babysit you. Don’t be too needy, or you will chase him away. As much as you are in a relationship, retain your identity and continue being yourself. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you transfer all your needs to your man. When a woman is confident about who she is and what she is bringing to the table it shows in her body language, her attitude, her sense of responsibility, when we men see that she capable of taking care of herself it makes us Not have to wonder if it will be a partnership, instead of a dependency.
2. Honesty
Trust in a relationship is everything. Lying to your man makes it hard for him to trust you. You might think the lie is small and harmless, but with time, it breaks down the trust that exists between the two of you. Lack of trust also builds a wall between you and that engagement ring. Make sure you keep all your interactions open and honest. Don’t hide things from him, because one day he might find out and the relationship goes down the drain. Here is where, as a man, I draw the line... Tell me the truth.. especially if you are volunteering information about your past. If I didn't ask you about something, then I'm not that curious...... so when your offer up information tell me the truth. If a woman lies about things she is volunteering to share with a man she will get found out eventually and all the trust possibilities are out the window.
3. Supportive
As much as society expects men to be strong, time comes when a man needs a soft place to land. When times are rough, a man is looking for someone to lean on, just a little . We expect you to be there for us when times become hard. You need to be a good listener and easy to talk to. However, don’t be too supportive to remind us too much of our mother. Hmmmm,when a woman is supportive she will look you in the eye and tell you she is in your corner. Women have a hard time faking sincerity!
4. Smart
Men like to talk,(well some do) and they are looking for someone to share with. Well, it is not just talking, but they seek an intelligent conversation with you. You need to be able to understand current events and sustain a meaningful conversation. This comes into play when you meet with his friends or family too. Men are also drawn to women who can grasp new concepts.
Smart women are thinker, and she will pay attention to what you are saying. so if a man likes women who are thinker then he will make sure taht he saying something worth of her time to pay attention to what he is saying, By speaking about things that cares something about. He does not have to be a rocket scientist or a Medical doctor... to speak about things that will interest he will try and talk about things she will see as something worth listening to and thinking about.
5. Humorous
Not everything needs to be serious between the two of you. As much as you want to get into a serious relationship, you shouldn’t be serious all the time. Be humorous and easygoing. Know when to joke and when to be serious. Men want to laugh, and will get closer to you if you make them do it. Nothing beats a woman with a good sense of humor. Guy can be clowns, some like to laughed with, while other don't mind being laughed at. Some women may be secret comedians. Show that side of personality and the two of you will be laughing a whole lot.
6. Up for Action
Let's break a sweat ahead of time
Men like adventure and they are looking for someone to have it with. Always try to give your man a chance to play out their wild side. If they want kinky, go for it. OK, these days commercials on Viagra and Cialis point to spontaneous combustion between two people... these commercials talk about men needing a little help with being able to perform like a woman is expecting. However there are No commercials on the pink pill, yet. Because it is more complicated for most women.... So "let's take our time and make it last. " type music should be playing to create the right mode.
Final words: Looking like a supermodel, an female actor or vocalist is not a sin, but men are looking beyond the makeup, curves, smile, clothes and great hair, these days!
I finally made it, but who do I share my success with?
The following points were taking out of a book titled: "Strong Women intimate weak Men."
~ Dr. Farrah Gray My perspective is written in Italic below each point..
• When you accomplish something spectacular. Sure it’s great to call mom and pops or your BFF. But it sure would be nice to have your guy to share it with. It’s just not the same – the affection from family and friends can’t compare to that big kiss and warm hug from your man.
But there are also times when being single, well, sucks. A balance perspective: When spectacular accomplishments are make, sharing it becomes more than just telling others about it... sharing it is sharing your joy and you're finally able to exhale that you have reached that platform of success, and having someone to lean against and feel how proud that person is of you and they were able to be there for you when it all came together for you!
OK this is going to the right time to fine someone to share my success with
Another balance perspective: the above reads as if only women accomplish great things .. and that women who are single do not have anyone to share their success with. I would like to note that this also applies to a guy who has been putting the pedal to medal and after hitting pay dirt....comes home to an empty dwelling. In sharp contrast guys may just be waiting to hit it big...before going out and find a woman to share it with...(there are plenty of good women willing to share in a man's success) Women on the other hand have to be very careful that a new Love interest is not a scammer.
I'm almost at the top , it's going to be great.
• When you visit your family. They wants to know when you are going to settle down, and most importantly, when you are going to have babies. A balance perspective: This is a tough one, many successful women have to work twice as hard to become successful.... there are many women now hitting the trail to becoming entrepreneurs and climbing the ladder of success... Just picture climbing the ladder with a baby in your arms.... I'm sorry to say that it's just your family members not fully understand what it takes to be successful in today's world. The window for growth is very small.. as a woman the glass ceiling is not easy to break through. Having the added pressure of having kids without a committed partner that is willing to be her right hand in the parenting area makes it not just tough but almost impossible.....to accomplish
Strawberry or grapes, Just call it and I feed it to you
When you bring home a lot of groceries. Wouldn’t it be nice to yell to your old man and say, “Honey, will you bring in the groceries?” Instead, you have to labor back and forth until you get it all in on your own. By then, your makeup is running and the ice cream has dripped on your new silk blouse. A balance perspective: OK so he will not only be willing to carry the heavy stuff....etc. But isn't it even better if he prepares you a plate of your favorites and feeds you while you unwind after a long day? Believe me there are men willing to do that...
• When you are sick. There’s no one to bring you chicken soup, walk the dog, bring you a glass of juice, get your prescription or bring you a box of tissue. It’s awful. A balance perspective: the great bedside manner of a loving person is always most appreciated.. even if that person is just a phone call away, because you have not committed to live together, yet. Having someone on speed-dial is always a good thing.
• When a great movie comes out. We’re not talking about chick flicks. You and your BFFs can handle those. We’re talking about the scary ones you can’t go see without a man to grab on to. A balance perspective: Oh Lord, this can be painful, ear plugs, long sleeve shirt, padded forearm protectors.... this is just not my idea of a fun evening. but a woman may want to have her a man who is willing to make that sacrifice.
this was some journey!
• When you see a couple having a super time. It especially hits home when you see an elderly couple walking hand in hand at the park. If you’re in your 30s already, it makes you wonder if you are ever going to find someone to grow old with.
A balance perspective:here is where people need to understand, that the best years a couple has is the amount of years they have to enjoy the fun things, because they have endured the tough things over the years and now they still have their best years ahead of them. They are smiling knowing that they can deal with anything ahead because they invested in each other.
• When you accomplish something and you are on your way . Sure it’s great to call all your BFF(s). But it sure would be a whole lot nicer to have your guy to share it with. It’s just not the same.
A balance perspective: I will quote my long time hero Billy Dee Williams, in the movie Mahogany " success is nothing without someone you LOVE to share it with!"
To be successful you must take risk, see what no one else sees, believe in yourself when no one else does and pick yourself up when you’ve been knocked down over... and over...and over again. I know because I’ve been there. And yes, I wanted to quit. But my motto is, you may be smarter than me, more talented than me, but you'll never be more determined than me. That’s my mindset. If you have someone working with you with this same mindset you will make it together.
Alone again, there has to be something better than this in my future.
• When things need fixing or moving. It’s great to have a man around when the DVD player needs to be hooked up or your car is making a gurgling noise. And when you feel like rearranging your place, a man and his friends sure would come in handy.
Meanwhile, enjoy the single life and stay away from Grandma’s house and hope the sink will unclog itself when you pour hair spray down it!
A balance perspective: some guys are naturally Mr. Fix it, but not all guys are, so don't expect it from just anyone, Just like guys should not expect all women to be great cooks. If you want that person in your life make sure they know what you expecting from them.
