He’s Not Over His Ex

Break ups are difficult, but they are often even more difficult to get over (men are not different to women in this case). And quite often people will jump back into the dating game before they are really over their ex.

Are you sure you over your Ex?

Reality is… his body might be available, but not his heart. There are signs to look for to help you make sure that you’re not just the rebound girl, which is rarely permanent. Here are some signs to look for that tell he is NOT really over his ex........

• If they have been broken up for less than a month, he is not ready. Love takes time to get over. He’s probably still feeling the urge to go back to her. He was used to having her in his life, and it takes time to get used to not calling or running to her for any emotional or physical need.
Time is like a flowing river, it flows and if  a person flows with it....they will follow the path and journey through the healing process. however if a person sits on the banks of the river in a particular spot. watching the river flows by their feet. but the person staying in the same spot. i.e. a month a Year  a decade can flow by and a person will not let go of the past... so  take note as to what their foot prints are showing you.


• He mentions her a lot. That means she is still taking up space in his head and probably his heart as well. Talking about an ex. does not mean that person is still in that    person's heart ( it could be just  be out of habit). Memories are strange they are often triggered by something currently happening. this can cause a conversation about a point in time .... which may include the experience shared with an ex. so don't over react! 


• He’s not really stable emotionally. That doesn’t mean he’s a nut job. It means he is OK most of the time, but he is sad or way too quiet sometimes that seems uncharacteristic. He probably heard a song or saw something that reminded him of her and it made him sad. If that’s the case, he’s still not over her.

 PTSD is a term often used for soldiers back from a war.  but the same symptoms can be present  as a result of a Bad break up. we all have had at least one. If a man/ woman have lost what they never expected to loose with an ex.. that person might  have caused some bitter feels. Change of environment will help you get over the hurt, staying in the same town, the same community, the same job can make you experience the same feels of hurt over and over again.  Maybe there is an App for that! 

I've missed these hugs!

• They still talk, a lot. It’s one thing to still be friends, but it’s another to have to call her about every little thing, or worse, take phone calls from her while you are out together. Unless there is a kid involved and that’s what the conversation is about, their conversations should be few and far between.
Talking is not that big of a problem, but hugging every time they see each other can be more of a problem for all concerned.  

• He’s bitter about the break up. She did this, she did that, she said this, etc. He’s not past it. He hasn’t even taken part of the blame. Guess what? He’ll do the same thing to you. Bottom line: if he can’t talk calmly about it, it still bothers him and that’s not healthy for you.
Just make sure that you don’t rush into anything and make sure he is all about you and not his ex.

All of us have a few demons that are locked away inside of us. but who holds the key...? If someone else holds the key then the problem will keep being triggered by someone else... change the lock.. change the things that can set you off. Guys are able to move past issues if the new person of interest is not a reminder of someone out him past. New and fresh is always good.. carbon copies are terrible !  If a guy sees that you reminds him of his ex.. you will never get to be his long term  heart throb.