I prefer the concept of sharing power. A woman is a man's strength when he truly loves her as well as his weakness, and a woman's love for her man becomes his strength also. This is, in my B.A.D. view is called sharing of power.
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| Couple need to become Team Supreme! |
So what are men's weaknesses in a relationship?
Emotional Intimacy!
From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at all costs. Perceived “weakness” includes things like complaining, divulging fears or concerns, and expressing self-doubt or worry. A man's partner is his safe space to fall.
Well many women do not want to share these moments
Men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships.
Whether social conditioning or an inability to communicate our needs are to blame, men (who tend to be the less communicative partners in intimate relationships) are prone to silently suffering when their emotional needs aren’t being met by their partners.
Whether you are a man or a woman reading this post, this will give you greater clarity into yourself/partner and what your/their needs are in your intimate relationship.
Let’s put an end to the needless fighting due to miscommunication, the unnecessary sex-less nights, and the verbal shut-downs.
Read through these tips and I promise you’ll never see your relationship through the same lens again.
Here are a few things men need and what women need, in a relationship:
Men have infamously tender egos. I’m finally strong enough to admit this at this stage in my life.
Things All Men Need In A Relationship
We need frequent reassurance about ourselves, our career paths, our efficacy as partners, our sexual prowess, and our attractiveness (among other things).
I have countless male buddies who talk about their partners rarely let them know what they like about them.
While it may be true that men need relatively less frequent verbal praise than their female counterparts, this isn’t the kind of gesture that requires keeping score. Why not just have more of a good thing?
So ladies, let your praise loose. Tell your man exactly what you find attractive about him. Let him know what physical features of his are your favourites. Tell him how attractive you find it when he says something a certain way, when he accomplishes something, or when he takes you on a date. Your praise won’t make him cocky; it will help him feel loved.
And (bonus) the more you praise his positives, the more you will see them.
Men feel respect as love.
If he feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you.
The thought process behind that being “If she doesn’t respect who I am at my core, then how can she really want what is best for me?”
If a man’s partner doesn’t respect his path or mission in life, then he will find it very difficult to feel other than an anxious need to distance himself from her.
Men and women both connect through sex and communication, but generally, women connect better through communication and men connect better through sex.
Does this mean that men need to have sex with their intimate partners every day in order to feel connected? Not necessarily! But every other day would be very good.
Men, more often than not, connect through indicators of sexual access just as much as they do through sex.
Allow me to explain…
Often, a man will initiate sex just to make sure that you are still sexually available to him. So, to my man-loving readers out there, if he reaches across the bed for you, even showing the willingness to embrace him, to kiss him deeply, and to romantically engage him could be enough to make him feel loved (not that the follow through isn’t enjoyable).
This lack of awareness around women needing to connect through words and men needing to connect through sex can sometimes turn into an unfortunate and rapid downward spiral. She doesn’t feel like opening sexually until she feels connected to him, but he finds it difficult to communicate with her because they haven’t been physical with each other in days.
Talk with your partner and ask what specifically helps them feel the most loved so you can avoid these unintentional standoffs.
A man can expose the cracks in his armour and allow his partner to help him heal.
Just as women need to slowly open up sexually within a relationship, men open up over time emotionally.
He needs to make sure that when he first cries in front of you, you won’t be repelled or handle it poorly. If you push him away or are unable to be nurturing when he needs it the most, he will no longer trust you with his emotions. He will remove himself somewhat from the relationship.
In this instance, both partners lose- he goes on silently suffering and believing that he is flawed in his imperfection, and she is held at arm’s length emotionally.
Masculine being primarily drawn towards independence and the feminine toward intimacy.
Within all of my post divorce relationships and the vast majority of relationships before I got married , I consistently saw that it was the feminine-associated female partner that wants more time spent together and the masculine-associated male partner wanting more time apart. There is no perfect balance to be found here. This will always be a balancing act of closeness and separateness.
But rest assured, suffocating a man (either by failing to allow him free time or with overly jealous behaviour) is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing room in a relationship. We need time for our hobbies, time with our friends, and time to toil away on our projects to feel fulfilled.
Traditionally, when women (or the feminine associated partner) needed to solve a problem, they would go further into the tribe – connecting with close friends and family and discussing their issues. Conversely, when men have a problem to solve, they would leave the tribe to be alone with their thoughts.
So let him roam. Let him breathe. Leave him to his own devices. A man will be that much happier for you to receive him when he returns, knowing that you trust both him and the strength of your bond enough to let him have his space.
Men love it when women look up to them
Men need frequent non-sexual touches as well as a sense of sexual access.
If a man’s woman looks up to him with that look or comes up behind him and touches his neck and hair in a loving way while he sits absorbed in a task, he could feel just as loved as if they had just had penetrative sex (even more so, depending on his mood).
This touch is interpreted as physical love- the message of which registering as “I love you, and I want you to feel happy all the time. Know that I’m always here for you and I care for you deeply.”
Men and women are both attracted to certainty in a relationship. The more a man feels like his partner is in it for the long haul, the more ready and able he is to be able to open up to her (assuming he is equally invested in her).
But security goes deeper than just the fact that you won’t leave him. The security that he feels ties back in to several of these points. He feels secure in knowing that you approve of him and where he is in his career. He feels secure and loved when you touch him non-sexually throughout the day. He feels secure when he is allowed to have his guys’ nights away from you and you don’t feel the need to call or text him every half hour to check in.
And he feels secure with a partner who takes steps to love him in the way that he most needs.
So how do you stack up in your relationship?
If you are a man reading this post, do you feel like all of your needs are being met? Could you ask for your partner to do something differently? (Maybe send her this post?
If you are someone who is in a relationship with a man and you are reading this, how could you love him more fully? Which of these can you incorporate more of into your relationship?
Let this post be the catalyst that gets this conversation started between the two of you. Even if you don’t agree with every point made, let these articles begin a dialogue about both of your needs in your relationship.
This isn’t about blame, or fault-finding, or anybody doing anything wrong. This is about loving people in the best way that they could possibly be loved and opening up a dialogue about emotional needs in relationships.
Men and women are at an emotional stalemate!
We feel something is lacking in our relationships. The majority of men aren’t able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men.
Women aren’t opening because men aren’t giving them what they need. Women feel disappointed and resentful; they are suffering. When women suffer, and they feel like they aren’t being seen, they close off to their men.
Fortunately, you can learn the right tools to be able to more fully penetrate your woman. You can give your partner what she needs, allowing her to feel seen so that she will open again.
Take the time to read through these needs. Let them sink in. Understanding what you can do to help your partner fully open will not only improve your relationship, but it will improve your entire life.
Here are the seven things that all women want in a relationship.
When women feel loved, they relax and open to us. The arguments dissipate, the sex is abundant, and their nurturing feminine energy flows throughout our lives.
Not feeling loved is the subtext of every argument that you and your partner have.
If she is unhappy that you are going out with your friends, or she’s upset about her day at work, or she is only responding to you with brief snippets of sentences, then the cause is most likely her not feeling loved enough.
Learn to see through her words, actions, and moods and see what the real root of it is.
There is a war being waged on women’s self-esteem, sexuality, and safety from a very young age.
Because of the barrage of disempowering messages being sent to women regarding their sexuality, women need to have a safe space where they feel that they can trust their partners.
She wants to trust your strength. She wants to feel like you can handle whatever she shows you.
She wants to feel like you will not judge her if she asks for something risqué. She wants to know you won’t collapse in defeat if she tells you to do it “This way” instead.
By creating a safe space for your woman to open up to you emotionally and sexually, you will be giving her a very powerful gift- you allow her to grow within your relationship and undo old emotional damage.
Women want to feel seen.
She wants to feel you hearing her, and being aware of her emotional state.
She doesn’t necessarily want you to be affected by her emotional state, but she does want you to be witness to it.
If she is sitting across the room from you and you aren’t picking up on the fact that she is suffering emotionally and on the verge of tears, she will begin to trust you less. She will think, “If he can’t see that I am hurting now, how long will it take him to figure it out? Will I be suffering for days or weeks before he is aware of it or cares enough to help me through this? I guess I have to rely on myself for my own emotional support.”
Life can seem extremely lonely, even within a relationship. You have to constantly show your partner that at least one person will be witness to her and her journey through life. (Hint: that person is you.)
Just as masculine energy has the need to protect, feminine energy has the desire to nurture.
Women want to see the cracks in our armour. They want to see that we trust them enough to open up to them. They want to be able to help us through our sadness.
An integrated, evolved man who has a balanced masculine energy as well as his own sliver of feminine would welcome his woman’s nurturing.
If you are a guy reading this, have you ever held open a door for a woman because it’s the polite thing to do (but more just because she’s a person and it wasn’t even a gender-based act) and she chews your ear off for it? “Oh what? I can’t open the door for myself You sexist pig!”
That is an example of a wounded, unbalanced woman who doesn’t want to accept help from a masculine source. This is exactly how it feels to your partner when you push her away when you feel the most vulnerable. “I don’t need to lay my head down on your chest and tell you about my feelings because I don’t have any!” That is a lie. It’s a lie that serves your purpose of not letting your partner in. This lack of vulnerability and authenticity is what is making you and your partner suffer.
So let her in. She wants to love you.
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If you have any questions just think about this Team supreme
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What’s a major difference between your relationship to your partner and your relationship to everyone else in your life? You have sex with your partner.
Women need to feel sexually desired. They want to make sure that you see and appreciate them as a feminine, sexual being.
Praise her body. Feel her and grab her appreciatively. Remind her that you see her as a sexual being and you will both benefit.
The feminine in all people responds primarily to praise and appreciation.
Remind your partner that you love her. Tell her that you appreciate what she brings to your life. Show her how much she means to you.
The fastest way to run your relationship into the ground is by ignoring your partner and taking her for granted. Appreciation is the opposite of those things. Appreciation is the embodying this mindset: “I am aware of what you bring to my life, and I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well.”
So tell her what you appreciate, and tell her often.
Life gets pretty messy sometimes.
When life has unavoidable difficulties arise, do you fall apart under pressure or are you able to bend and not break?
Women want to know that we can handle ourselves when life happens. They want to know that we won’t run and hide when they get a bit ‘too emotional’ for our liking. They want to know that they can count on us.
When you tell your partner you’ll do something, and then you don’t do it, it hurts her. She loses a piece of trust in you that has to be earned back. Even seemingly small things break that trust like you saying that you will wash the dishes shortly after dinner, but washing them the next morning instead.
When enough small transgressions like this are sprinkled throughout your relationship, she will distrust you.
Do what you say you will do, be who you say you are, and be consistent in your actions.
Women want partners that care.
Women don’t want perfect partners (hmm, but one as close to perfect as possible will do just fine) they want men who are striving to be their best selves.
She doesn’t necessarily want someone who has every step of his life pre-planned, but she wants someone with drive and with goals.
She doesn’t necessarily want someone who cries every day, but she does want someone who has the courage to cry in front of her when he needs to.
She doesn’t necessarily want someone who stays in therapy for his entire life, but she does want someone who has the courage to face his own emotional demons.
So put in the work. End the stalemate. Decide that you want to be in the kind of relationship that most people don’t have and you want to put in the effort necessary to become that kind of man.
The women of the world are waiting for us, fellahs. And they want us to step up just as badly as we want them to open up.
