Everyone will change,

Will we always enjoy each other this way?

Surely you might expect someone not to change, however change is constant. 

A man is attracted to a woman, and may marry her expecting her not to ever change, a woman maybe be attracted to a man, and may agree to marry him, expecting him to change and improve based on what she wants him to become.  Unless he was exactly the way she wanted him from the very moment they met, where he is totally what she wants at that moment…. No improvements needed…(Haha, this is not going to happen) he is never going to be that “perfect” just the way you want  him not even right at that moment you thought he was “perfect” His image that is in her head is based on a snapshot in time, that was the moment when the stars aligned and all things  seemed just the way it should be. That snapshot is what gets folks in trouble we all hold on to it,  like it will always be the same ( in our heads). But like I stated before change is constant. Gravity changes all of us. And our mental issues become more of a factor as times will changes us. The young become the old, a man loses his hair, the receding hair line becomes more outstand as he grows older he may even grow completely bald, his muscular body will become a bit flabby . LOL. growing completely bald, that is really funny? A woman after having a baby or two may never regain her perfect “figure 8” body type she had when he first met her and had to have her, but both of them  love her babies unconditionally. But her man may not appreciate her body as much as he did before she had “the little crumb snatchers”.He may even have gained weight himself (bigger belly) also because everytime she was hungry(had cravings,) he would eat with her. Now she might blame him for the changes that happen to her body and he might think she drove him to gain weight and  lose all of his hair too. Sounds crazy doesn’t it?

 You cannot  blame another person for the changes that happens to you physically, even mentally… but people do it all the time.

Right now you look so much like your dad, I hope you will not inherit his ways. 

The male gender will never be able to think like the female. We may try to understand her (temporally)  but will never really figure her out, long term. 

Here is what I have learned over the past decades,   by writing out my feelings, I discover deeper levels of feelings that I could not feel with another person present. 

Complete privacy creates the safety to feel more deeply. Even if we are in a relationship and we feel we can talk about anything, with that other person. I still feel privately writing down our thoughts and feelings sometimes, can bring clarity that we would not have normally. OK women and some men are good at writing Love Letters, think about that for a moment we can’t do as well as we can, unless we are doing it in private, which is also healthy because it provides a time for us to give to ourselves without depending on anyone else.  Women are better at keeping a journal/diary, these are document that she may never share with her lover. Unless he is a snoop and finds them and reads them without her knowledge. If you have a personal computer, password protected, then you can type the document and store it in a secret folder. 

I final put things in the right  perspective! 

“I really like him, but I wish he didn’t have so much ink”

Occasionally rereading these letters when you are not upset is best because that is when you are not mad as hell, this is when you can review your feelings with  greater objectivity. This objectivity will help you to express your upset feelings at a later time, to the other person, in a control fashion, with a more respectful tone. Also if you write a love Letter and you are still upset, by rereading the letter you may begin to feel better.Final thoughts:

What’s swirling around in our heads is not the same as what’s in another person’s.

You are thinking one thing, often influenced by emotions, and recollections from past experiences. The other person is  not feeling the same things. I started trying to figure out a few years ago what I was missing… when I disagreed with someone (woman) on a subject, and the disagreement became an angrument. I started reading more books written by women… Man ooh man, the sub titles that they would have in the middle of the their scripts really made me understand somewhat better what it was that I was missing in the past. We can’t see a bubble above their heads with subtitles and captions(linked to experiences and emotions). A woman  might be thinking “he is cool,” one minute, but then you say or do the wrong thing, in her view, “he is fool,” and then that bubble has an dialogue going on that will blow your mind, fellahs! Women do not forget negative experience, the triggers you just  caused has her reliving things that may have, absolutely nothing to do with you. OK we men have them also, but since we are more forgetful we don’t keep these negativities stored for decades. If we men understood that quoting a line from a movie could get us  into trouble with a woman we would never quote anyone…” trying to be cool,” has to be an original… composition. 
The purpose  of writing is two fold,  to grow in your ability to love yourself you  need to receive love, from others as well. To receive more love we need to have people in our life with whom we can openly and safely share our feelings. Test it out by writing these feeling down before sharing them with others. It is very powerful to have a select person (multiple people if possible) in your life with whom you can openly and safely share your feelings and trust that they will still love you and not hurt you with their criticism, judgment, or worst yet rejection.  When you can share who you are and how you feel, then you can fully receive love. If you have this love within you, it is easier to release negative emotional symptoms like resentment, anger, fear, and so forth. If you do it in private you can have a walkthrough as many times as you need to before letting someone else see or hear what your feelings are all about. 

Everything must change!