You have nothing to fear but fear itself and fear of being alone!

This what the year end holidays do to us. we stay in bad relationships not because we are not being realistic about what we are fearing the most. The fear that we are experiencing has more to  do with us  not fully understanding what it is we are fearing...

There are ways to step out of our comfort zone and overcome your fears.

So what do you truly want from me?
Some people want to rush into marriage and work to get  it right.
Others want relations to get right before  getting marriage!

Many folks have so many fears these days, ome that sticks out is fear of commitment and the other is fear of  commiting to the wrong person.  I SMDH and think about when I was a kid and I knew my parents were around to protect me from the boogeyman, and then I grew up and became a father and had to assure everyone in my care that I would be around to do the same.  I believe that my two sons can take over now  as they are  in relationships where they have to protect theirs.
I was never scared of commitment, if the person I was committed to was the wrong person then in time that relationship ended, in my mind we reached the expiration date, case closed. You can't unring a bell. I've witnessed so many endings of relationships too many to count at this point. People should be looking at it this way read the signs and expect that the expiration date is coming sooner or later. there is no forever!  
  
By have to deal with The fear of the unknown these days it can be hard to describe because all the feelings and thoughts around these fears are in our heads. These negative feelings and thoughts create mental blocks. It is these mental blocks that influence the way in which we live our life and if let loose can have a detrimental impact on us living our lives to the fullest.

When we choose to live with our fear of the unknown, the choices and decisions we make do not serve us well. Any decision we make based from this fear will not be a decision that will move us forward in life.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela

Living your life to your fullest potential can only be achieved when you have come face to face with your fear of the unknown. But this is not an easy thing to do. It is a bit more complicated than just choosing to ignore your fear of the unknown. To be able to conquer your fear of the unknown, you have to be committed to making the changes within yourself and that is where it gets tough.

There are many layers of emotions that are associated with your fear of the unknown and overcoming this fear requires you to dig deep to find the courage to actually step into the unknown. This is not what your fear of the unknown likes. All those deep-seated limiting beliefs will be resisting and fighting back because your actions will be challenging them and questioning their existence.

There is an extreme form of the Fear of the Unknown which is a phobia called Xenophobia.

Xenophobia is when some people have irrational thoughts and beliefs about people and situations that they perceive to be strange or foreign. Essentially it is the fear of anything that is beyond their comfort zone.

People who are Xenophobic tend to have a fear or hatred of foreigners, people from different cultures or strangers. They also have a fear or dislike of people who are culturally different from them. Their behavior can be extreme and violent; The Klu Klux clan is made up of people who are xenophobic. Since the abolition of slavery and even today they have committed violent crimes of hate.

We are not xenophobic. We do not commit violent crimes toward other people because of our fear. We do however let our fear of the unknown rule our lives. If we listen to our fear of the unknown, we choose to live our lives in our comfort zone rather than taking up the opportunity to step out into the unknown. It is when you step out into the unknown that you truly start to live your life to the fullest.

To overcome your fear of the unknown is a personal journey that never really ends. However if you live your life controlled by your fear of the unknown and want to break free then here are some strategies that will help you on your personal journey of transformation. Where you are living life to the fullest and you are no longer controlled by your fear of the unknown.

“Fear of the unknown… They are afraid of new ideas… They are loaded with prejudices, not based upon anything in reality, but based on… If something is new, I reject it immediately because it’s frightening to me.” What they do instead is just stay with the familiar. You know, to me, the most beautiful things in all the universe are the most mysterious.” Wayne Dyer

Fear is not unique to you. Fear is part of our human DNA and so it is not unusual for you to feel fear when you are stepping out into the unknown. Our brain is hardwired to prefer negative consequences to uncertain outcomes. Our brain does not like us stepping out into the unknown or living in a world of change.

However, as Wayne Dyer says in his quote above; our fear of the known is not based on reality. Our fear of the unknown is just a whole pile of self-limiting beliefs based on what we think may happen and not on what is our reality.

“The guy who takes a chance, who walks the line between the known and unknown, who is unafraid of failure, will succeed.” ~Gordon Parks.

Final thought

Find the causes of your fear and face them. 

Our fear of the unknown is part of our DNA and is an essential part of our survival. There is fear that will protect you and heighten your senses to threatening situations. This is a good fear to listen to. Then there is the fear that paralyzes you and stops you from living life to the fullest. This is the fear that you need to understand why it exists within you. The fear of the unknown is made up of many thoughts and beliefs that result from negative experiences. If you have failed in your relationships or you feel you have failed in life and have low self-belief, then your fear of the unknown will be heightened and wanting to protect you. When you are faced with the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, spend some time analyzing the cause of your fear of the unknown. Once you have identified the cause of your fear, then brainstorm ways to minimize risk and ways in which you can cope with the hurdles. Best of luck to you.