Why do so many love relationships end in acrimony, these days

 

In most relationships, there is usually someone who loves more than the other. In this case it was you that had more feels! 

What happens when expectations are not met and blame is assigned.

"You made me feel this way!"

A love or friendship ends in acrimony when one or both parties blame the other for the problems in the relationship that resulted in its ending. The acrimony is felt by whomever wanted the relationship to continue. Examples of the manifestation of this are:

"If only they would have changed..."

"If only they had been better..."

"If only they would just love me like I love them!"

"If only they wouldn't cause so many problems!"

"If only..."

A person who blames others for problems they experience in their life are more likely to become bitter.

Many times humans need some form of finality to their relationships, so they can categorize them in their minds into a place for emotional safekeeping. If it doesn't end with a bang you may feel the inclination to get married, just so it has closure. Sounds ridiculous but people need a context to put things in perspective to themselves. Acrimony is often the result of satisfying this need since you can't marry everyone. It's also a reaction to frustration with the other person.
As you get older you learn that it doesn't have to end that way, even though you know you don't want it to continue. This is where the sentiment "we can still be friends" comes from. It's a maturity thing.

I'd like to believe that there is an analogy in nature for the forces that bind human beings. When you combine two or more people is like a chemical reaction, the resulting characteristics of the people involved has changed after their encounter (even a tiny change is a major change).

The acrimony is the manifestation of the energy that created the ending of a combination of human beings. If the relation was close and strong for at least one of the parties, then some energy will liberated. Our way to deal with that energy, are strong emotions (suffering, anger, betrayal, etc).

If there has no emotion after a breakup, then I think that the binding forces of that relationship were not as strong as they might think.

The relationships that do end, however, are usually a result of either one person ending things when the other person didn't want things to end. Or, the relationship ended as a result of betrayal or harmful behaviors by one person (or both).

Either way, it's hard to maintain a positive view of the other person in that situation.

It's not always this way. There are healthy ways of ending relationships.

Having said that, there are no happy ways of ending a relationship when at least one of the involved persons wants it to remain as a relationship. That generates frustration, grudges and other negative feelings that are hard to communicate and express in a friendly manner.

The most common case is that someone breaks up, or 'unfriends' the other, and that's hardly a mutual agreement. The other person tends to feel betrayed, stolen from, scammed, disappointed… and that leads very easily to anger.

final thoughts

Quite often the acrimony, is because of all the feelings and emotions that have built up during the relationship. When the breakup occurs, we can feel like those emotions have been betrayed. That feeling of betrayal leads to feelings of pain. The ego has been assaulted and feels that it must protect itself. It may do this by lashing out at the individual who has caused the pain.
People will try to find all sorts of ways to try and justify behavior that they would not accept from themselves under ordinary circumstances.

In the end a house is not home.