You Are Just Not Ready to Get Married

It happens,Often, that two people marry just for the sake of marrying or are pressured by family members, or because they have been dating each other for a long time. Believe it or not, such marriages end up in a divorce or a broken relationship. If you are going to hitch soon, but inside, there is chaos, then find the reason out before tying the knot. People who believe that things will be beautiful once you are married are mistaken.

If I hold you tight enough you will get over your fears, trust me.

As long as your nervousness is normal and natural, there is no problem because couples feel a tad bit of nervousness before there weddings. But if it’s more than usual, then you really need to introspect. Find out whether you are ready to get married or not. Trust, there is no point in tying a knot when you are not ready to get married. Here in this post, we are sharing with you 16 signs you are not ready to get married.

Where do we go……. from here.

1. If you still wander in the past

If you have a broken relationship and still you miss that person, then marriage isn’t for you. Missing someone else simply means that there is no scope for another person in your life. Even if you marry with the hope that things will be fine tomorrow, what is the guarantee? In fact, there are chances that things will get worst after the wedding. So, it is better to clear the clutter out before you say, “I DO.” Always know that marriage is a union of two people. This means both you and your spouse will be responsible for the happy married life. If you will live in the past, how will the other person manage things with you? THINK!

Wandering in the past is a clear sign that you are not ready to get married. So, it’s better to be clear with yourself and with the other person as well. It is good for both of you!

2. If you don’t trust each other

Believe it or not, Trust is the most critical component of a happy married life. If there is no trust in your marriage, you can never be happy. Trust is essential to a relationship. However, some people find it difficult to trust anyone, let alone a future spouse. If Trust is your challenge, then trust marriage is not for you. No relationship can survive without Trust.

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey

3. If you like your partner, but you’re not in love with him or her.

If you are planning to marry someone because you think he/she will be a good mate and a good parent, but you don’t love the person, then you seriously need to consider whether you are ready to be married. Marrying someone even when you don’t love the person won’t help you in the long run. How does it matter whether the person will be a good partner or not, because you also ought to be a good partner? When you know that you don’t love the person, will you be a good partner? Love is needed to build a strong relationship. You can’t have someone in your life for a long time if you don’t love the person. In love, you need to reciprocate, and when you don’t, another person will feel dejected. It’s better to reconsider your decision to get married.

4. If you haven’t been dating for long enough

You can’t have a successful marriage if you haven’t had enough time together. Studies show that divorce rates are measurably higher in the case of people who date and get married in less than two years than those dating and marrying by  being together in more time. However, dating too long before getting married also has negative consequences. For instance, people who date for five years or more before getting married also end up getting divorced. This means spending too short or too long time before marriage results in divorce. If you two have not been dating for long, it’s better to give time to your relationship than get married. Once you have spent enough time (like three years or so), you can choose to marry, but before that, it’s not wise!

5. If you keep secrets from each other.

This is one of the most significant signs that you are not ready to get married. If you are keeping secrets from your partner, then better chuck the idea of marriage. This includes the way you spend time, the person with whom you spend your time, or information about your finances, etc. Keeping secrets from your partner will lead to a tumultuous marriage. Of course, no secret can be kept hidden for long. If your partner comes to know that you are hiding things from him/her, he/she will have trust issues with you. And once trust issues start, your life automatically becomes hell. So, if you tend to keep secret from your partner, its better don’t marry.

6. If you are not ready for compromise

Believe it or not, marriage is full of compromises. Nobody can ever have a successful relationship (romantic or platonic) unless he/she is willing to compromise. Nobody can ever predict the future in advance. Anything can happen. For instance, you are set to marry a filthy rich person, but after a few years of marriage, if he loses all his money, how will you react. People either become selfish and focus on themselves only, or they become selfless and focus on loved ones. The ones who are ready to compromise can have a successful life and relationship. Selfish people can never build a healthy relationship.

We know we will have serious differences because of our age difference. 

7. If you are marrying because all your friends have got married

This is another huge problem. Some people only marry because their friends have got married. If this is your case also, then better, do not marry. Marriage is not a child thing; because he/she has got that dress, I also want the same. No! It needs a lot of compromises, which you may not be able to do. It is better to have a clear perspective first before you finally say YES for marriage. If you don’t know why do you want to marry, then better try to find it out before actually marrying someone!

8. If there are differences

If your morals and beliefs also don’t line up, then again, you are not ready to get married. Having fundamental differences in your beliefs, morals, and ideas will also cause continued issues in your relationship. So, if you feel that your disputes can be resolved, then resolve them before the wedding. But if there is no way to fix them, then better leave the idea of marriage with that particular person.

9. If you’re battling any mental health issue

If you are battling with some mental health issues, like an antisocial personality disorder, or high-functioning sociopath, etc., then also you should consider your decision to get married. These issues may take a toll on you after some time, and they may adversely affect your relationship. Whether you believe it or not, a healthy mind is a prerequisite to a happy married life and a healthy relationship.

10. If you can’t handle conflicts

If you cannot work through disputes such that two of you feel heard, understood, and resolved, you need to reconsider your decision to get married. Especially if you tend to argue on the same topics. If the issues are resurfacing over and over without resolution, better to take outside help. Taking outside help will help you understand how to work through conflict and determine whether you can work. Knowing to deal through disputes is one of the most crucial parts of a healthy relationship. Not knowing it will cause a continuous problem in your relationship.

11. If you are pressured

If you are getting married due to some pressure from your family or the future spouse, don’t marry. Marriage is an institution that two people should enter by their free will. Marrying somebody out of pressure is no use, as you will never be able to love or respect the person. Sometimes people threaten their partner to marry; some people say they will commit suicide if the person does not marry, so on and so forth. If this is happening with you as well, then clearly say NO. People who threaten others to get things done simply another person’s life hell. Understand that your partner is not asking you to marry him/her because he/she loves you. He/she is saying because his/her ego will be hurt if you won’t. If you’re also pressurized to get married, then better to reevaluate the basis of your relationship.

12. If you’re not sexually attracted to the person

No matter how handsome the other person is, or how good he can be as a mate, or as a father, if you are not sexually attracted to him, you aren’t likely to take a leap yet. Sexual intimacy is an integral part of a marital relationship if it is not there; your relationship is highly likely to go south. Even if you two are dating each other for a long time, and you know that you are not sexually attracted to another person, call it off! It may sound rude now, but later you will say thanks!

I know you have never had someone  love you as much as I love you

13. If you’re getting married out of guilt, or fear

People who marry out of guilt or fear also end up having broken relationships. Marrying someone out of guilt or because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, or because you previously promised to do so is not wise. Remember that a marriage can only be successful if two people are happy while entering into it. If any of the people are marrying out of fear or guilt cannot contribute to a healthy relationship. Even if your family wants you to marry someone, but don’t feel connected, don’t marry. It is about your life, and you have the right to choose well for yourself! Such marriages often lead to divorce.

14. If you are not connected to the other person

The connection is vital in a marriage. If you don’t feel connected to a particular person, then there is no point in taking a leap. And if you think that you can build a connection after marriage, then you are mistaken. You cannot create a connection forcefully; it is a natural thing. If it is there, it is there, if it is not there, it will never be there, simple and plain!

15. If you tend to compare

If you tend to compare your future spouse with your friend’s partner or anybody else, then better call it off. Comparisons are the easiest way to destroy anything. Nobody likes it if he/she is compared to somebody else. Each person has his/her identity. If you compare a person with somebody else, you are actually humiliating an individual’s personality. People who tend to find flaws in everything mostly compare. If you or your partner is habitual of comparing, then it is better not to get married.

16. If you are still looking for better

Sometimes we are not satisfied with what we get. And often, it happens in case of marriages. People’s minds wander to get the best. If you are fearful of getting married because you feel that someone better could be around the corner, then you shouldn’t be getting married. Of course, when you are confident about your partner, what is the point of getting married to the person? You won’t ever be able to build a healthy relationship because your heart will always go for what you have missed. And once you are married to a person, altering your decision won’t be easy. So, it is better not to get married. 

Final thoughts

A few red flags that should make you think

• -You're More Concerned With the Wedding than the Marriage. ...
• -The Trust Isn't There Yet. ...
• -You Can't See Yourself Parenting Their Child. ...
• -You Haven't Been Dating for Long Enough...
• -Your Vitals Aren't Strong. ...
• -You're Not Ready for Compromise. ...
• -You're Being Pressured. ...
• -You Don't Speak Their Love Language.