Hey dear Love!

I can so relate to these lyrics (the baritone voice of the Boyz II Men rapping at the beginning of the song ) this   smooth deep tone is so my brand.

I've been watching you from a far,

for as long as I can remember

You are all a real man can need

and ever ask for

this is love

this is more than a crush!

As I listened to this song (below) I was reminded about how many times, as  a guy, I  would observe a woman  from a distance and wish I had the chance to say those words  to her... without sounding corny .... these days lyrics like these are so old school.

But how does a man approach when he is not sure, the  female body language is a very foreign language . Maybe a few pointers might come in handy to understanding the signals.

Learning What she Is Really Saying By Reading her Body Language, but if she is only accessible on social media...... you have to start reading her mind.  Good  luck in that arena! 

People aren’t always outspoken about how they feel, in fact, when it comes to how someone is feeling about a potential  relationship, the body always sends cues long before any words are spoken. Bodily cues fall into a more subconscious display of emotion, and people use this subtle dance to communicate moods, feelings, and other information. Correctly interpreting your potential partner’s body language will allow you to be more responsive and attentive to their needs. Here is a description of  some body parts to help fine tune your observation skills.

Eyes

Eyes are perhaps the most telling of body parts. There is a balance that must be maintained between too much and too little eye contact, as too much can be disconcerting and too little shows a lack of interest. During large social interactions, happy couples will often find each other’s gaze and maybe add a wink or knowing smile. Eye contact is also kept while being affectionate . People  that might be feeling distant will avoid too much eye contact. 

Since so much communication is done via social media, looking at pics can give you some clues, are the eyes soft  when looking directly into the lens of the camera, or....?? One may have to rely on the other indicators, like the surrounding in which the pics were taken, those indicators could tell you a little about what the eyes are telling.  

Eyebrows

While looking at the eyes, don’t forget to observe what the eyebrows are doing too. Raising the eyebrows conveys interest and enthusiasm. Furrowing the brow can indicate disapproval, but also deep contemplation.
One may have to rely on the other indicators on social media, like the surrounding in which the pics were taken, those indicators could tell you a little about what the eyebrows are telling.  

Nose

Wrinkling of the nose is a dead giveaway that someone is displeased or turned off. Watch carefully for any nose twitching or upturning. As a big fan of a woman's nose, I can figure out which of the situations are  happening when I focus on the nose I can detect what the eyes may not be telling me ... As the saying goes. "only the nose really knows what goes on behind closed doors" or in this case locked mind.   

The Mouth

Pursed lips show tension, as does kissing with firm lips rather than softening them. If you and your partner have great harmony while kissing, then it shows you’re both on the same page when it comes to feelings!

Even though the lips are colored to draw attention to how sexy women are, it's the head tilt and the eyes that will give you the go a head to approach, or "get lost"  

Neck

The neck not only keeps your head poised to show confidence, but it also keeps the head from looking at the ground or sky. Looking down or up can show disinterest, but sometimes looking down can be an endearing sign of shyness.

A soft look with the head tilted upward towards you.. ( OK a man has to be above average height to cause her to look up) and make eye contact....... denotes you might be in the running.

Torso

The direction which a person leans can send strong signals about how a person is feeling. If your partner keeps little space between you, then that shows they feel attracted and comfortable with you. If you sense an increase in distance, during sleep, dining out, or on walks, then that’s a sign something is amiss.

Once again the new way is to watch out for  the series of pic on her social media profile, many pics with girl-friends could indicate available but not necessarily lonely, or desperate. women Lean-In comfortably  with their girls.    Judge carefully because you never know these days. 

Hands

Hands are another very expressive body part that are important to observe. Hand gestures are used to emphasis when we speak, but can also be used as more subtle body cues. Does your partner affectionately squeeze your hand, or hold it firmly? Or, does your partner hold your hand weakly with space between the palms?
Reality is… her body might not be available, but her heart might be. There are signs to look for to help you make sure that you’re not just the rebound guy , which is rarely permanent.

Quick note: 

Heads up Ladies.... The man that take the time to throw all of your favorite songs in a mix  can create a Love-You-Mix.. just for you and builds it as an App ( this requires Skills) that you can download on your devices... this is a dude that thinks about you through every song he selects. This is not even close to what the dudes (back in the day) did who could play the guitar and serenade you out side of your bedroom window, with his versions of a "sensuous storm." Ooh wait why learn to play the guitar when you can use a beat box these days.... ( shortcuts never really work very well)  

A Man Who Will Love You Forever, or until his term expires.

Ladies There is nothing better than being in love. You have a bounce in your step, and simply thinking about him sends you to Cloud 9. Finding Mr. Right can be challenging, but if you are fortunate enough to pin him down, here are eight definite signs that he is yours for keeps. 
Hmmm, wait...  my Bad thoughts on that statement just makes me question what "for keeps," or "forever" really means.

Being a Pampered Princess

Does your guy make you feel like royalty even when you are not so charming? If so, then it’s a pretty good sign he wants to be with you forever. Most men will be nice, but it doesn’t mean he is thinking long term. It’s when he has no problem showing you and the rest of the world (even his friends) that you are his queen.

Let me  just say... I'm a romantic guy... maybe as much or more than the next guy. If  I'm really into a woman I give her  mucho attention. Just a  quick reference. Back in the day in my other life, My  then-wife received a gift on the 28th of each month for a full year when we were first married., and then every quarter the following years until  way after my second son was born   This was my way of  assuring her that I was going to do right by her. It also helped me remember when our anniversary was..... the 28th of June. I've been divorced for 10 years, and I still remember.. the date <smirking> it's Amazing what self-programming does...but she stop getting the treatment she received from her pampering  Prince, once my term expired. 

The Couple
When a guy uses “we” instead of “me”, it’s a surefire sign he is head over heels in love. Men who only refer to themselves aren’t really worried if it turns sour. Men who are committed want people to know he is off the market and has no problem saying it.

This is called syncing with a woman. we men know that most women don't believe that we  will be in total sync with her for very long.... unless the feelings are true. If we are in sync then we can see a future together.another  example: there is storm coming, and you have difference residences. When your guy offers to come over and secure your place (first)  ahead of time before  his own. you know he cares about your safety. He might even offer to ride out the storm with you at your place, forsaking his place.   

Hold on to me and watch your step these rock are slippery.

Let Me Help You
You can bet your bottom dollar that if your Prince Charming is all ears when you have a problem, he is in it for the long haul. When he stays awake wondering how to solve your problems only to make you happy, he is in love.

Ok, when a man is protective and not possessive, we will do these things with out much thought. for exam I would suggest to a new girlfriend to get an App call companion  which makes her feel that she can turn it on at  anytime she want to feel safe. It will allow me to react if she needs me at any given time.  The security that brings is that you can count on me when you need me.  

Talks About Your Future
Men who are simply killing time with you until something better comes their way, don’t talk about where he sees the two of you in the future (unless he is a sociopath). Men who think they have found the one will talk about things down the road like next Christmas or where to go for summer vacation. This is a definite sign you are the yin to his yang.

The wonders of planning  for the future....brings into play those things that you see just up ahead and those things you can just imagine long term .  Yin and Yang bath tub  with the right color  mood lighting.  If a man  takes the time to understand what  giving you a pink rose means for example... he is seeing a strong possible future with you.

In Tune

Sure, your man thinks you are a beauty, but does his face light up when you enter the room? Men who are totally gaga for you simply radiate when they see you, and they can’t hide it. Even when you look like you stuck your finger into a light socket, in their eyes, nobody compares.
An attentive woman that would take a minute to pick up some Starbucks and says coffee/ tea or Me..  is  someone a guy will stay gaga about a long while.  

Oh Those Four Little Words
He tell you that he thinks you are the one. Not to be confused with talk about the future, but when used in combination, it’s highly likely that somewhere down the road, you will be seeing some bling. (Think diamonds).

Questions what is your ring size? and he has one of those ring measurement  charts. and ask what is your favorite cut; Pear, round, oval or  Marquise diamond

Just You
He holds your opinion in high regard, and you are the first person he wants to tell everything to. Good or bad, you are his rock. Thumbs up!

The value a man put on  his ladies opinions  is paramount to him thinking  we have a future  that can take us  off into the sunset! 

Confirmation
His family hints about how he feels about you. You know, when he walks out of the room, and his mom tells you that she overheard him telling his dad that he thinks you are the perfect woman for him. Keep in mind ladies, this is probably the only time you will appreciate her eavesdropping.

Once a man makes sure his closest folks approve of thee,  you are in the house...  with the  major stamps of approval.. believe me this is huge!

So, if you have kissed your prince and he still hasn’t changed into a frog, it’s safe to say you found a winner.

And If  "All of Me" is playing in his car
 you should be jumping for joy!

Reasons Why Most Men may not Want To Get Married

It's just US now dino we don't need to follow that crowd!

So you’re making the big step. You’re taking the plunge. Getting attached to the old ball and chain.

Don’t get the wrong idea. Having a steady love has a tremendous amount of advantages. But if you’re a dude, there are some things you are going to have to get used to (and ladies, you might want to check this out, too, so you appreciate what your man is doing for you).
I will add a few BAD thoughts to the following. 

• Your weekend – you might be able to squeeze out Sunday’s game with the fellas, but much of your weekend is going to used for quality time with your s.o. (significant other) or performing the tasks you have been assigned – mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, bathing Rover.

Life is good , my work is done!

As I  have a ton of experience in this area... I have to state that you have the same responsibilities as a single man. Proper time management allows you to  do all the above... You just have to allocate the time as to when you will do what. Spending time with your s.o. is what you are already doing ... simply because if you are not doing it you are not going to get her to consider spending the rest of her life with you. 
   

• No more gal pals. Those silly little texts, the taps on the butt… all that goes down the toilet  now. Your girl is No. 1 now, No. 1 and only, that is.
Let's examine this for a moment.  do the math, she is already No. 1..... We (as  Men) believe we always have options to change (she is not a wrinkled shirt) or even have a default option (she is not  a t-shirt) . think about it carefully  because  she also has options.. she can pick someone else to be her No. 1 this is the 21st century. Women are  more progressive, many are more progressive than men. Your woman may let you think that you chose her, but guess what she picked you. She had discussion with her girls about you,...... subjects like: - are you the ideal man, - are you the best choice to have kids with? while we men are looking at women as trophies.. we are not seeing that women are seeing us as....? 

• Nix the flirting. It ‘s a no-no now. No more playful banter with the waitress at the IHOP or winking at the girl that makes your coffee at Starbucks. Oh, you can still do it, but only if you want to create friction between you and your steady Lady..

guess what we are paid
to flirt with you fools!

OK STOP it ..... flirting REALLY.... I can only see this as an excuse that.. makes Zero sense. picture these women as cars. OK hang  with me for a second! when a guy buys a new car, he still admires other cars, more expensive cars than the one he bought. Never do we look at women that work in IHOP or Startbucks as a perfect upgrades to be our  future wives. so flirting with these hard working women with dead -end jobs..... Is like your lady flirting with the lawn guy... and  the Valet guy. she thinks they are cute guys but not a trade up from you. If she thinks he's  trade-up ...... then you have to ask yourself  where are you lacking???

OMG I will want to  die
after drinking all of these!

• Cut down on the indulgences. Those nights with the boys when you got totally wasted . You got someone to go home to now, someone who is not going to take lightly to finding upchuck inside the front door.
SMH... dudes getting wasted only leads to liver problems later on in life, Plus you look like a fool in front of strangers and friends  who  may even Instagram you doing  stuff at hooters that you can't deny and show it to the World that you are an idiot,  and worst of all the lady you are considering as your-for- ever- after will now see you as the out of control not so cool dude that you are. 

• Your wallet – it’s not just yours anymore. She has access to it to pay for the pizza, get shopping money, etc. So your budget is quite a bit less now.
News flash: your wallet is not totally yours when you are dating. you spend more bucks  during dating than you do as a married man unless you are acting like a single man when you are married. When you decide to go on a exotic trip with your lady, it is part of the budget, but when you are single it is your expense totally your expense .... unless she is willing to go half and half  in that case she is a keeper.   

this  is all I need as a single man

• Your space gets smaller. You will get less of the closet, fewer drawers and some of your stuff will be relegated to the garage or storage. Oh, and those macho black sheets, consider them gone. They will be replaced by a floral pattern that matches the curtains.
Very few of us guys live in 3,000+ sq ft. place all alone. but when we have someone in our lives it becomes the goal to expand the space. Look at one of the richest soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo. His apt. , in the Trump building,  is small but it cost $18 Million+  do you think his lady would settle for that kind of square ft... for $18 Million+ he would have to let her shop for much larger place. Problem solved women need space you will gain move space when she intends to share living space  with you. 

 Your identity will change. Remember, it’s not Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt anymore – it’s Brangelina. Even Kanye West lost his identity when he hooked up with Kim Kardashian – it’s Kimye now.
OK this is just Marketing  B.S. trust me you will not have this problem. My ex-wife still has  my last name. I was never ever  known as anything else but who I am (my name stayed the same from the day I was born.) My ex-wife has had my last name for most of her adult life... and did not change it after we got divorced.... now her last name is the same as her two sons leaving no question as to what her status was when they were born.... 



Being a couple has tons of advantages and they are probably worth more that what you think you have to give up!

Perfectly Happy People cheat, simply because Cheating makes them perfectly happy!

What is Erotic intelligence?

So, why does good sex so often fade, even for couples who continue to love each other as much as ever? And why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex, contrary to popular belief? Or, the next question would be, can we want what we already have? That's the million-dollar question, right? And why is the forbidden so erotic? What is it about transgression that makes desire so potent? And why does sex make babies, and babies spell erotic disaster in couples?

Honey  I'm just having a drink with the fellahs, I'll be home late!

Why do we cheat? And why do happy people cheat? And when we say "infidelity," what exactly do we mean? Is it a hookup, a love story, paid sex, a chat room, a massage with a happy ending? Why do we think that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy, but women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy? And is an affair always the end of a relationship?

Now, monogamy used to be one person for life. Today, monogamy is one person at a time. 

Now for my BAD perspective: 
Think about your own sexual history, If You were faithful to your partner for a period of time (term limit) and then both of you  split. and then you were faithful to your next partner for another period of time (another Term limit) ... I know because this is  how we all see relationships in modern times of being faithful for term limits. Very few have been in just one relationship  from beginning until death do you  part. You were not her first Love, Fellahs, and she was not your first love either. As you mature you try to forget the history  of your partner when you first met.  You were not her first choice.. she wasn't yours either. some other folks preceded you in a  relationship with your new  partner, you are expecting  her to be faithful to you and you to your partner from this point on. the major difference is the contract you may have now signed when you get married. If you've never been married to someone else  before...... you didn't sign a contract. So you think those prior relationships are just null and void?? But they did happen, they can not be erased from history . So why are we always tripping about other folks behaviors.. We find out that our partner was attracted to someone else or may have spent intimate moments and even share thoughts and wishes with someone else and we loose it. How could they do that??. Maybe, just maybe because they  excited your partner for a period of time (a short term limit) and then the term ended. emotionally even if it was not a physical  relationship it  interrupted  thoughts during your wedded bliss.  We should be use to interruptions. we have interrupted our relationships in the past to get to one we are in now.  OK,  If you have not yet listen to the video. you might want to  do it now. she open my mind even more than it already was.             

First dates , out of the box date night!

Dating can become a stressful process, by paying attention to the following signs you  will learn some lessons on your  chances or are you  wasting time with women who may only be interested in the entertainment of the night out and not the romantic potential of the union.  Pay attention to signs early in order to find a true match. Start by thinking Out of the box.
High expectations of doing everything perfectly to secure the affections of a woman can layer on the pressure with each passing moment of the rendezvous, especially for men looking for a serious partner. Women can be pretty difficult to read but there are several telling signs that can be gathered from observing body language. Remove the guessing out of the equation of “Does she like me or not?” by paying attention to these following signs during the courting stage.

Affirming body language
Body language is more telling than verbal conversation, and there are several body language signs that should be taken into account when deciding if a woman is worth the investment or if moving on to the next option is best.
What She Does: If a woman plays with her hair while in conversation with you it is a sign that she is interested in you (women always want to make sure their appearance is appealing to men they are interested in). Pay attention to the direction her body is facing while you are together.  Keeping close bodily contact, facing her body towards you and touching you in light ways during laughter or casual conversation are all affirming body language signals to let you know she is interested. If you see any of these affirming signs you are in a good place.

Rejection body language
Some of these signs are blatant, however, when blinded by a woman’s beauty and caught up in nervousness of doing everything right to impress this woman, these signs can be looked over. We are all extremely too attached to our mobile devices these days, but if she is paying more attention to her phone during the date than she pays to you, chances are her interests in you are slim.
What She Does: If she consistently taps her foot, she may be in a hurry to get the date over and done with which also is a display of her lack of interest. Taking multiple sighs of breath, sitting with crossed arms, frequent trips to the bathroom and consistent complaining are also signs that this date may be the first and last.
Telling conversations
Verbal conversation gives insight to a person’s mind and their interests. By listening to how she responds to certain statements, current affairs or how she follows the conversation you can gather a solid conclusion about how her mind works and what her interests are. Opposites attract, but sometimes brilliant thinkers and conversationalists don’t pair up too well with those who have limited vocabulary or a narrowed scope of subjects.
What She Does: Does she talk about one subject too much? Does she name drop a lot? Using active listening skills and asking the right questions can help you to determine if her personality and mindset pair up well with your own.

Eye contact
The eyes are the window to the soul and by observing what her eyes are doing during the date you can take a peek into her inner thoughts. Eye movement and placement during conversation can reveal what is on a person’s mind and their emotional state.
What She Does: Swift shifting of the eyes in different directions can denote nervousness, looking to the upper left denotes dishonesty, the rolling of the eyes can denote annoyance or frustration and of course, direct eye contact actually signifies an interest.  There are many interpretations of eye movements in body language, but the key is to be observant to determine what unspoken truths the eyes are telling you.

Things we men ADORE ABOUT our WOMEN

I love it when you do that

Love is a strange emotion that is beyond human wisdom. Although relationship therapy has made strides in redefining love, there is a lot that is yet to be discovered with regards to this complicated emotion. When a man is in love with a woman, there are certain things they adore in them that a woman may or may not be aware of. The following are some of the attributes that men adore in the women they are in love with.

• Loving

When you attend relationship counseling, your counselor might ask you whether you show enough affection towards your man. Men like how you pamper and appreciate them. Sometimes referring to him by names like ‘honey’, ‘darling’, ‘sweet heart’, will make him feel wanted.
Old school couples  have this down to the max, this is why those relationships last way longer than  current relationship... when folks do the things to and for each other without expectation... it  becomes more about giving and gratitude... than excepting and demanding. 

• Sense of Humor 

Men love it when they can exploit your sense of humor. He loves it when he makes you smile even if he is cracking dumb jokes.
What do you consider funny about him? his humor is his own, unlike anyone else, this  is what make it  unique. try understanding  word Porn!    

• Clear View

He loves how you display clear thoughts regarding your future. He likes your maturity because you are both ambitious and have a clear plan. This quality gives men assurance that you will get him back on track when he is lost. Women are told by their mother or aunts and even friends .. find a strong man with goals and vision... Men appreciate the same qualities in women  these days, even if their father's did not tell them to find a strong woman..  

• Physical Contact

Men love being physical with  their women. Men enjoy physical acts of affection more than sex. This includes little things like when a girl sneaks in random kisses on the cheek, random hugs, places their hand on their man’s knee or their arm around their man. Hmmm! more than  sex? Lets Think about this one, in our minds, the only time we are not thinking about sex... is....... during those brief few seconds between our sex thoughts.   

• Secret Glances

Men love attention and like it when you sneak a glance at them. It proves to a man that they are attractive and that you long for them. He likes catching you eye balling him. When You turn and look him in the eye, it's even better than a secret glance, it  will make a man just melt. 

• Funny Gestures

Relationship counseling will reveal that a man loves it when you do certain funny gestures like crinkling your nose when laughing and playing with their hair when you are nervous. These are the attributes that distinguish you from all the other women he has ever met. Let's assume he still has hair to play with, if he doesn't..... then  rubbing his head, this  might also do the trick. 


• Respectful

He will be more accommodating and nice to you when you speak with a soft and low voice. This proves to us men that you consider us  respect worthy and as your main  source of security.

• Sensitive


He adores it when you are reserved, sensitive and shy. But while you are in that mode, you are secretly thinking about ways to surprise him with your... 'I need you to service me'......

• Independence and Emotional Strength

One of the most common relationship advice is that men do not like it when a woman is insecure and lacks confidence. He likes the substance and confidence you display. Self confidence is one of the features that men adore most in a woman. Let's face the facts, men also want to hear  'I have your back'  so if  you are an emotional wreck then he will have doubts that you can accomplish that.

• Improved Looks

Men are attracted to what they see. He cannot resist your beauty. The way you walk, talk, act and dress all factors in your general physical appearance. One thing you will learn in relationship therapy is that he likes it when you surprise him with new looks. change a few things now and then, and surprise him... but don't do the things you know he does not like.. If he like long hair don't cut it all off and expect him to jump for joy. 

• Attractive Body


He adores your attractive body and sharp features. He is proud of dating an attractive woman and likes being the envy of other men. That's right if you have it all together he will be your body guard... because your body is worth guarding. 

• Beauty with Brains

Another piece of relationship advice is that he loves beauty with brains. He considers you to be complete because you are both beautiful and intelligent. Men need support and guidance when making important decisions in life. This is the reason they like you for your intellect and wisdom. Guess what a man's  greatest joy is knowing that a smart woman is in his corner.  A+ woman who can help a man excel is the woman who will not have to worry about him making moves without her... think about the Obama husband and Wife team.

  

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine”

One of the major issues couples typically complain about (mainly women)  is communication. Everyone knows men and women have very different communication styles. It’s still obvious that women are from Venus (XXchromosome) and men are from Mars (Y chromosome) and that we all speak different love languages. Quite naturally this causes confusion.

Do you really care about what I'm saying!

While women are sometimes the initiators and are naturally more prone to communicate with their partner, there still appears to be a disconnect in what you  sometimes communicate about. Men, although we  may be open to listening, we aren’t usually eager to ask more clarifying questions to ensure we  have the best understanding or interpretation of your words.

Some women are quick to share the wordy details of the workday and what their bestie did to hurt their feelings. However, some occasionally seem to still struggle in this one area. The one area, that one lie some women are still telling is… “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine!”

OK then, good night!

When clearly, the majority of times we men  are asked what’s wrong, women  are either frustrated, offended or disappointed by something their spouse said, did or didn’t do.

a woman's  mouth is telling one story, while they are silence, eye rolling, folded arms and pursed lips are telling a completely different one. Believe it or not, the men in your lives know better. They and can easily tell when a mood has changed. You strip us ofour protective, problem-solving powers when you keep your true concerns hidden. It also makes it very difficult to have an honest conversation and obtain the results you’re seeking.

I was told that these brushes can do magic
in covering up  that something is wrong

Most women tell this particular lie because you feel as though your partner should automatically know what’s bothering you. i.e Why are yo not understanding me today?  Some of you think the connection should be that strong, that without you ever saying a word, your mate should not only know the issue, but promptly apologize for it too. And Even apologize for the entire male community!

Why is this damn scale lying!

The truth is, we men need clarity. As obvious as it may seem, we  need to hear the specifics of what’s really upsetting you.  They also need to understand why, whatever it was, bothered you  the way it did. The last piece is critical, as it may not seem like a big deal to men. If it is to you, you must share. People, in general, can receive information easier when the “why” is explained thoroughly.


Ladies, you have to be willing to discuss your needs and not leave our partner guessing. Effective communication means just that, it’s effective. It generates positive results and allows both partners the opportunity to be on the same page.

This better work!

With all of that being said, I do, however, recommend that you pick your battles selectively. It’s important to perform self-assessments to determine whether what’s bothering you  at the moment, is actually that big of a deal. If it is and you  need a release,  then it has to be discussed, for the overall health of the relationship.

Now I understand ! No you don't!

Whether your partners have a clear understanding of what’s bothering you  or not, what is so wrong with actually expressing it? It will immediately clear up any confusion or doubt and get you a lot closer to resolving the situation. In the end, isn’t that what you really want anyway?

the fact  that she says she is fine is often misunderstood.