Never mind that we had sex, we are just friends

Do you know the most important differences between  just a friend (you had sex with) and a lover

You know we are just friends right!?!

The difference between a lover and a friend is stark and worth knowing.


We all have friends and some of us have lovers. The dynamics between us, when we speak to a friend and when we speak to a lover, vary widely and there are quite distinct differences between the two. While a lover may end up a friend and a friend may end up a lover as well, but as far as the individual relationships are concerned, these  differences separate the one from the other.

#1 The conversations

A conversation with a friend happens on an individual level. You are either talking about yourself or talking about the friend or dome one else. It is one persona at a time and both the parties understand that they need to give time for each to speak about their individual lives.


A conversation between lovers is done on a together-level. The conversation revolves around 'us' and 'we'(well it should.) The couple usually doesn't think in singularity and as they see a future together, they speak in plural terms.

#2 Reasons for jealousy

Don't you  accuse me of being jealous

A friend may get jealous if your attention is diverted from them while you talk to them. You may not have talked to a friend for years but the comfort level still remains when you meet them after a long time. The jealousy, here, is also not that serious and not really of great consequence.



Jealousy between lovers arises when either fails to fulfill their commitments towards the other. Lovers really feel the need to be in touch as they are the closest people and any distance may lead to seeds of jealousy being sown. Jealousy in a relationship is highly consequential and can lead to heartburns and even  breakups.

#3 The number?


One can have as many friends as they like. The friends, too, can be of different kinds and from different backgrounds. There can be a drinking buddy and a study friend and so much more. The variety and number depend completely on the person.


But there cannot  be more than one lover( you should be exclusive.) Any more than one means infidelity and that is not what a relationship is about. Also, a lover can be a friend (not just friends with benefits) but the intimacy between the lovers far exceeds the one between friends. Should I repeat it or will you read again to make sure you get my point.

#4 Who gets your affection?

Friends can show affection to you and anyone and it would not be a problem. Even best friends can show different degrees of affection to other friends and it won't matter. Friends do need each other's affection but they may not be that needy for it.

I so enjoy his attention
Im starting to get used to it.

A lover would, on the other hand, need special affection. ( Give that person ATTENTION like no other)The position of a lover in life is slightly elevated over a friend's and they would not be wrong in seeking special privileges when it comes to your time. This is what relationships are built on, to treat your lover uniquely.....

Well she might also change a few things you buy a new grey sofa, and she says: " it's to blan needs some color"   an there goes the man cave, with a female touch..