Im so into you. But I can't be with you!

The dream will end when you awaken!

How To Release Attachments to Someone You Can’t Be With



“It’s hard to admit when you have fallen in love with someone who can’t be yours.” – Unknown

Almost everyone has had this particular experience: falling for someone that you can’t have. Whether this person is your best friend, or the partner of someone you know, your co-worker or just someone who lives too far away, pining after someone that you cant have, is never a good thing.

This is a particularly painful experience, and many of us have been in this exact situation, wondering how in the world we’re going to get over wanting someone that we can’t have.

As entrepreneur Paul Hudson rightly pointed out, “It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but will never amount to anything more than what it is.” Fortunately, it’s entirely possible to both positively handle that pain and get over the other person.

1. ENJOY YOUR TIME TOGETHER

When you’re spending time with someone that you love but can’t have, it can be tempting to ask for more. However, that will only lead to rejection and more pain. Instead, focus on enjoying the time that you do spend together. Focusing on the good times that you have means that you’ll have more good memories to draw on so that you’re not spending your time thinking about how badly you want to be with them.

2. GET A HOBBY TO KEEP YOU OCCUPIED

When we’re hopelessly in love with someone that we can’t have, it may be hard to focus on anything else. Instead, try diverting your attention to other things, like hobbies. Find something that you really enjoy and put your energy into that. You’ll find that you pass the time much easier, and you might even stop thinking about them all the time. Finding ways to distract yourself from obsessing over someone that you can’t have will make it easier to move on.

3. PROTECT YOUR FEELINGS

Being this person’s friend is entirely possible. You can be there for them when they need it, but you also need to be able to know when something is too much. Learn to protect your feelings and set boundaries. If you find it hard to listen to them when they’re having troubles with their partner, it’s okay to set that boundary. Be there for them when you can, but also make sure that you’re taking care of yourself.

4. HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM

Surrounding yourself with other friends is a good way to make sure that you’re not alone. If you’re hopelessly in love with your best friend and can’t have them, life can get isolating pretty quickly. Instead, make sure that you have other friends who are supportive and understanding, so that you can always have someone to turn to when you’re feeling low about your unrequited love.

As relationship expert Dr. Jane Greer points out, “Allow yourself to be supported by your friends, even if you’re just going through the motions because it helps you jumpstart yourself into a new rhythm.”

5. LEARN TO COMPARTMENTALIZE

This is an important tool in making sure that your mind isn’t being obsessed with your unrequited love when you’re not together. When you’re hanging out with them, make sure that you’re enjoying your time together to the fullest. However, when you’re apart, you want to make sure that you’re not letting your mind keep wandering back to them and distract you from doing your work.

6. LIMIT CONTACT WITH THEM TO HEAL YOURSELF

Sometimes, your heart doesn’t stop pining. In that case, it’s time to stop letting your heart rule your head. If you’re in pain and in unrequited love after months or years, it may be time to limit the contact that you have with this person.

Relationship and dating expert Ravid Yosef says, “… Leave them behind. Keeping the line of communication open, no matter how good of ‘friends’ you think you’ll be is only keeping the hopes of a relationship alive.”
So let''s just KISS (Keep It Simple Silly) and say bye bye.