Try To Avoid Being Unhappily Married.

Relationship Experts Reveal Secrets to Happy Marriages
Since I'm divorce I was more than just a bit curious, as what these experts have to say. Here goes:

May I crown you?
Only if you allow me to crown you.

"The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” – Julia Chi
ld (this is a female's perspective)

Research psychologist and relationship expert John Gottman explains over 40 years of research in his book ” What Makes Love Last ,” that trust and commitment are the two biggest secrets to happy marriages. (a male perspective)

Anyone who is married will tell you that it’s very hard work. Wanting to be with someone most of the time is a good thing all of the time can be an obsession issue.....It’s a commitment that requires more effort than simply long-term dating. When you bring someone into your life in a permanent way, you’re going to have a few bumps along the way. Just because marriage can be difficult, doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth it! Marriage can be  a blissful time in someone’s life, filled with all of the best memories, and a positive outlooks for a future together.

Marriage can bring couples strength and support that they may not otherwise have. Not all marriages are successful, actually more than half fail. Those that are require effort on the part of both parties to make sure that the marriage stays healthy and successful. Relationship experts have revealed exactly what it takes to make sure that a marriage stays strong.

HERE ARE SOME SECRET INGREDIENTS TO HAPPY MARRIAGES

1. BE KIND

According to relationship expert James Preece, “The biggest gift you can give your partner is the chance to miss you.” After the honeymoon phase has ended, you may not find that you want to be around your partner 24/7 and that’s okay! Being around someone all the time can cause annoyances, or make one person or the other feel smothered.

It’s important that each partner have time to themselves. It’s also important that your partner has a chance to miss you. A marriage is bringing two lives together, not living one life. It’s important that each partner have their own friends and interests in addition to the ones that you share together.

While this may seem easy when dealing with someone you love, we all have had moments where we say things that we don’t mean to say (out loud), or adopt a passive aggressive manner to display our displeasure. Focusing on being kind will strengthen any marriage. This includes conceding to your partner’s thoughts, feelings and opinions and validating how they feel, even if you don’t agree.

2. COMPROMISE

We can work it out, just as long as
 we have each other''s back

Being able to have arguments or disagreements and come back with a compromise will make the relationship and the marriage ten times stronger. People think love is just about connection, but what’s equally important is to have good relationship skills. And the most important one is to be able to negotiate with one another.

Being able to negotiate with your husband or wife on even the smallest things can build up both trust and confidence in your ability to communicate, so that when something big happens you’ll be able to dive head first with open communication to solve the problem.Arguing until one person gives in will only cause resentment to grow and fester in the marriage, which will weaken the bonds of the relationship.

Now is your turn to listen....

3. LEARN TO LISTEN

Give your partner time to speak what’s on their mind. Even if the argument seems to be going nowhere, it’s important that both partners have the space and time to speak. Focus on the stressful things or events that are important to your spouse. Listen. Help your spouse express his or her feelings. Empathize. Show support. Don’t problem solve or fix. Most women just want to be heard.

We, as humans, have a tendency to try and bring in a counterpoint against every point made before the other person has an opportunity to say everything they need to say. While it may be tempting to interrupt, it’s important that everyone has an opportunity to speak. And even more essential: both partners have to learn to actively listen. Instead of thinking up a counter argument.

Don't argue about the painting..... above the bed... when you are single it's your bed but when married it's both your bed. (So she picks the paintings, and the bed)

Practice saying "Can I"