So, who's your Daddy?

As more people have their DNA tested and as the results databases grow, you will have an increasingly better chance of connecting with your birth father by genetic means. While it is true that you are unable to trace your father's identity through his Y-DNA (the traditional male paternity signature) because a female does not inherit it, do not despair: There is another method. Autosomal DNA testing looks at the 22 pairs of chromosomes that do not determine gender. This can be very useful in identifying relationships within five generations of yourself, without being limited to only maternal ancestors.

It is true that your results will be most useful if your biological father or one of his close relatives (preferably his brothers or sisters or his first cousins) also had genetic data registered with the DNA testing company you use. Companies like23andMe (through DNA Relatives) and Family Tree DNA (through Family Finder), as well asAncestry.com and Genographic, can compare the data from these autosomes for shared segments. You should take tests with each of these companies as their databases are proprietary -- that is, they are not shared or overlapping.

The closer the genetic relationship you have with a person in one of these databases, the more identical segments of DNA you will share. And these companies even determine, through the lengths of these segments, if you have a brother or sister in the databases or, indeed, if you descend from a parent. But we stress that this is a very long shot.

According to the 23andMe website, "DNA Relatives uses the length and number of these identical segments to predict the relationship between people." If your birth father himself has contributed his DNA results, you will be able to tell [if] he is your father. A 30 percent to 40 percent match with someone probably indicates that the person is your half-sibling. 23andMe and Family Finder both display predicted relationships between you and the people whose DNA aligns with yours to some degree. This means that by submitting your DNA results, you would be casting a net and hoping that a relative on your father's side has contributed DNA as well. Should you find any such people, you can contact them through the company you have both joined.

Men in your family are like these boats they're anchor pretty close together!

The Alpha male and others versas the Alpha female.

The female these days has choices between 2 types of Alphas and 2 types of Beta men!

She just need to point her arrow and hit the target of her choice!

Men can always find a Beta and Omega female so I'm not going to  cover them in this post, if you are looking  for a Beta female just look around an Alpha female because they are hanging with her if they are in a group.

Omega females are wall flowers.... I will leave it at that.

The alpha plus+ ,male- these are the highest ranking type of male. Men who fall under this category have had multiple partners both long term and short term. Most think that men like these  are incapable of maintaining a long relationship. this is not true. these guys are very much in control of their lives, they don't let women or anyone for that matter dominate then because they are the ones in charge.

The Alpha Minus-, these are second highest types of men. They usually attractive and although they look like Alpha plus men, but many of them lack the intelligence, because of this lack of intelligence these Alpha minuses rely on charisma and other personality traits to get ahead of the group. Due to their high male social ranking status, many of them are often distracted by the amount of beautiful women that are easily available to them and this is what separates them from the Alpha pluses. Alpha minuses are usually jocks, athletes and some are musicians. Bare in mind that they are  very much alphas despite they are  being  ranked slight lower that the Alpha pluses.

The  Alpha Male body language says it all. He is strong but strong doesn't mean a lot of muscles. it means a male who gets around in the World on his own power and gets what he wants thought confidence, courage, intellect and high determination. He moves slowly and deliberately with no wasted motions. he stands proudly erect, relaxed--- but alert- in all situations. they are generous, outgoing and cheerful with everyone, for they seldom worry about petty stuff.

The Beta Plus +, this group may have the potential to become alpha pluses or Alpha minuses, unfortunately, they lack the drive, willpower or direction. they are intelligent but they are socially inept.

The Beta Minus- Aside from the constant need for approval from others to feel important, they reflect the negative traits of the Beta plus. They usually have a distorted view of the World they enjoy reveling in victim-hood while constantly complaining and blaming others for their failures and gross short comings. they dwell on self pity as self improvement is a term that is alien to these guys.

Nowadays men have easier access to sex partners because Beta Females are more likely to give up sex easily. women are still the gatekeepers of sex therefore it is and has always been up to women as to who gets laid and who does not.

The Alpha Female, an alpha female is a dominant female in a group. she dates who she wants as she wants, is strong and confident and a are hard workers are usually very busy. because they go-getters and are playful at times. Alpha females are intelligent, intellectual  problem solvers, being a alpha female is often  terribly misunderstood. because they see their Alpha status as state of mind more than a physicality.  Alpha females are confusing to Beta men, as evident by the fact when they can't get her attention the y call her a "Bitch." 
or maybe she might be and A-sexual female you should know one if see one  click on the following.  

Many have not heard about Asexuals!

The 90 day rule and the $200 minimum date!

 here is one of my favorite statement. 

As some folks  think of New Rules, dating can take great strides backward or forwards by creating new rules or changing old rules...

Example: Rule #1
Steve Harvey came up with a New Rule: "The 90 day Rule" We men are still secretly planning to execute him for having the nerve to talk about dating after he got married. When did a comic become a relationship Guru.... OK it sold books .. Act like a Lady, Think Like a Man ( I alway say the title is to catch women who want to  have the greater advantage. because women don't want to think like men) If They  understand how men think they win, Harvey suggested women  treat men like an employer would  a new employee by placing them on a 90-day probationary period before a man can have sex with her. Does that really work? the jury is still out! Though the premise makes sense logically (men think logically), matters of the heart and body often aren't treated the same as matters of Finance and livelihood. Is it sensible for women, to punish men for each realtionship that failed in the past.
Dating in my book a  is process of elimination if you don't impress me,  you will be scratched from the list. So the longer you hold out  (keeping the cookie) the less chance you have of becoming the "Special One" in my book.
 
You might be sitting at the edge of the bed, 90 days later wondering what went wrong, while I go to sleep, because I have nothing I want to share with you ( it was not worth the wait.).
So a guy needs to wait like a new employee but still spend $200.-- on a first-second-third date?
OKay, Now I have your attention.  Remember now a guy is entering in the area on probation.  Who can afford to spend that kind of investment in this economy just because someone  came up with a silly rule.
Example of Rule #2.
The US$200.-- Date rule.
Apparently, a date isn't a proper date unless a man spends at least $200.--.


 Maybe "KISS--- Keep it Simple Stupid" might be less costly but  more impressive, if you have  maximum privacy, to talk and get to know each other.
I'm pretty sure it's been picked apart on Twitter at least one million times.In any case, the debate is baseless and everyone has varying expectations of what a date is or isn't. Location, cost of living, profession, personal preferences and standards all determine what a dat should be. An initimate conversation over coffee or tea at a coffee house for one woman is the equivalent of dinner and drinks at five -star restaurant of another. Here is where I stand on the subject: New rules on dating  are created to make  movie... and sell fictional books.

The best Rule is be honest and straight forward with the person you are trying to establish a relationship with. 

This should also apply to Real women, be honest and tell the truth don't hide the truth just so that you can keep a guy interested.

Happily Single.... or is Something missing?

There is a whole lot to love about the single Life I now lead. I've  been living  in the Caribbean...for the last 8+ years since my divorce. I live in a house on the hill, I have access to many beaches, 37 choices on both sides of SXM and I can hop on a ferry and be in Anguilla in 14 minutes or St. Baths in 30 mins. So what's there to complain about. Life in this North Eastern Caribbean is almost perfect for a guy like me. Who got tire of the hassle and stress of the big cities. You see I use to live in places like N.Y., Chicago,  Miami and other areas of Florida,   and was married but now I can pretty much do whatever I want without having to worry about how my actions affect someone else. I have friends all over the Western World (USA, Caribbean, South America) and even some in Europe which provides a lot in a  ways of options, even planonic love. But as I get slightly older and most of my friends are couples, I can't help but remember the days when I was happily married. It seems like every  time I log onto Facebook my feed is blowning up with  folks coupling off. I'm not jealous but I've start wondering is it in cards for me to settle down again. I want to travel some more and share quality time (with someone special.) I use to do this all the time in the past. I like my freedom, so does that mean I'm destined to be alone from here  on.. to the end. I know many folks who are also struggling with these thoughts. They don't want to have to give up so much of themselves or sacrifice the things they want to do in order to have someone in their lives. Having a girl-friend or some other friends,  who I date on ocassion right now is  practical for my life, but I still want more of..the things couples have because I know....... what more feels like.  Yes, I want to have my cake and eat it too.... what's the point of having a cake if you can't eat it? As content as I am with my life I recognize how blessed I am for being able to  do the things I do, and experienced the things I have, I wonder if the grass really is greener on the other side?   

 A simple example of wanting to upgrade my back patio to look like the pic... is where my mind start going around in circles. You see I work best when   I'm doing things for someone special, doing what she likes, which gives me the most pleasure, because I'm making someone else happy. I would enjoy this if it is is just for me, but having someone go " Oooh and Aah" about my  new deck with a spa and an area to chill is the ultimate! sharing is much better, than not! I'm once again at that stage. Where I've let go of the past. You see when you let go, you are no longer forcing things to happen (pushing,) you relax into a state of allowing (receiving.)  You may want ot read my other post on Allowing and Receiving

The views are Oooh so much better when you are spending quality time with someone special.
Sometimes I sit under a tree in my yard with a view of the city and the harbour and read  books on my tablet. Which is cool, but when someone is there with me and we engage in conversation.... I   feel more alive than just having the two doberman dogs come up and lick my toes.
So what am I ready for... and I guess many folk out there living the Single (but not really happy life.)
I'm ready for change. Which is now a welcome change and I can let my restistance down, because now I'm breaking with old attachments..  

Who is comfortable with the Term "Work-Husband " I'm not!

I have to state for the record... "I'm not a Jealous person"! But I have to question which husband would have "NO problem" with their wife  having a co-worker that she refers to as her "Work-Husband".
Maybe it's my ego, but I'm really thinking I'm not the only guy who is her husband ....... Am I taking this the wrong way?
"Work- husband" is a popular term used to refer to a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, with whom an employee shares a close and plantonic relationship.. The "work-spouse" is equal part emotinal crutch, lunch buddy, confidant and caretaker, both in the sense that he can look out and advocate for the "spouse" in the work place and also run to the drugstore for an aspirin if the "work-spouse" is in need.

OK, let me confess... I've had 2 "work-wives",  when I was younger... one for each job I've held for longer than 2 years. As a consultant, which I became later,  over the periods of 15+ years, I didn't have any work -spouses, because I worked at the clients offices and did not associate with their employees that much.
The first (work-spouse) was a married woman, with whom I used to go to the gym on our lunch break or after work. We worked out together faithfully and occoasionally would sneak out and go for a drink after work. She kept me up-to-date on the high-level office politics (and rumors)... She was the Director's secretary. For clarity, we never crossed the line of becoming anything more.

The second  (work-spouse) was an  young lady who was engaged,  worked in the cubicle next to mine. There were only 6 of us in the office--- 2 senior systems Analyst, 2 project leaders, 2 programmers. I was a project leader and she reported to me as she was a programmer. We didn't go to lunch without each other for two years....

I should add that when I  got a call that my then-girlfriend had been keeping tabs on our comings and going, I stopped the lunch dates... because I knew how she felt about women of other cultures stealing black men from black women.





The good news is that if your wife is talking to you about her "work-husband", that most likely  it's an indication  that there is nothing fishy going on. If she were to keep this very close relationship a secret from you, that could be a serious sign  that there's something worth worrying about at least raising your eyebrows about.

Hopefully you're more at ease about "the work-husband" issue now, I know that some guys are not. " the work-wife" label that some women do  have a serious problem with that one( women don't trust women). So if your partner is using the term "work-spouse" and it bothers you,  speak up and let your partner know how you feel. their use of the term is propably a handy catchphrase and no indication that a work-spouse poses any threat to your relationship.

You can't force your son or daughter to stick to their cultures!

I just read  an article on "Mixed Kids are the Cutest"..... when Races or cultures mix, it's almost as if the Universe says: "they will have many challenges to overcome in their lives, so let me take the best of both parents and give these kids a great look." I think things often said about biracial children are often good things. except if they are forced to choose one race over the other.Just let them be Mixed.
Mother's of African decent  find it difficult to reason and often find themselves encouraging their sons, to date  black women. I have a different opinion as a father of two young men, I never told my sons to choose a black mate.... I don't think my ex-wife did either. Judging from the choices the've made so far I don't think I can influence their choices at this stage either. So many people believe that this attitude of race mixing is wrong, while others think that sticking to your own kind culturally is racist.
Let me put it this way: You can't make your son or daughter date who they are not attracted to.
When was the last time anyone fell in love out of a sense of obligation? 

I once told my eldest son, I chose a wife, who was the same skin-tone as my mother. she had mostly the same values... that was the example I set for them. Now if my sons choose different to how I did... I just have to say they have different taste than I had at their age.
Mothers wrestle with the tension between wanting to instill racial/cultural pride and a love and appreciation of the diverse beauty of their cultures and wanting to honor the individual choices their children make around their social and romantic relationships.

I Recognized difference between cultures, and didn't push for mixing, or not mixing.

It really makes me wonder when things are going to change... 20+ years ago I worked on Wall street by day and attended a University at night. I became friends with a fella from Trinidad, we are almost the same completion. however he was of Indian decent (so he was a dark Indian). his last name reflects is heritage. We had more in common than not, even though our cultures were very different. We were surrounded with mainly white folks in class so we shared our experiences and cultures as we talked all the time. Not a bad friendship except for one thing he had no other friends but me, which made me wonder. I had quit a few African-american, Jamaicans and other groups from other Caribbean Island, as friends. My Trini-buddy  would invite me to his family apartment in Harlem, N.Y. where he lived with his parents and two sisters. One sister was about my age and the other was in highschool (they both seemed to like me.) His Dad had lived in Harlem for ten years before the rest of the family joined him from Trinidad. His duaghters had become very much Americanized, in a short period, but not his son (my buddy,) he was a Trini with Indian roots and that  was not going to change.  The middle sister was dating an African-american guy and got pregnant, which became a forced marriage. The mother was very nice but often confused me a bit with her desire to mother me... She would prepare meals and invite me over on Sundays almost religously (and woould seat me next to Jill, the youngest daughter 2 years younger than I))

 She developed a crush on me... I had no idea because I thought their culture did not like race mixing, I never made any moves on her. But she kept asking me to help her with Math, as I was explaining an Algebra  problems to her, one evening.. She reached out and touched my hand and said with a soft sweet voice (mind you she was 18 and a senior in highschool)  "I love...." before she could finish the sentence my buddy interrupted and told her to go help her mother in the kitchen. Jill turned and finished her sentence:" like I was saying, I love how you explain things to me. My brother always acts like he knows it all so by the time he finish explaining I'm usually more confused, and I love some many things about you especially your gentleness,  thank you! I turn and asked my Buddy why he jumped the gun when his sister said "Love"?. 

He said I have one sister left and she is "Special....." he had stopped speaking to his other sister, because she got married to someone other than an Indian from Trinidad. I understood what "his problem was..... I was good enough to be his only friend in N.Y. but not good enough for his younger sister...,.who did have strong feels for me...(and he knew this) You see this was the way things worked in their culture the brother was supposed to make sure that the sisters stayed true to their traditions (and failed with one sister.)  I found out years later, after I was married and went to visit them. She told me that she had a long talk with her mother about how she felt about me, and her mother told her I was too Worldly and much too  experience for her, so she should never let me know how she felt.  She never got married or had kids, what a waste of such a beauty woman. While my buddy who was very dark for an Indian, married a Jewish girl from N.J. hoping to have kids that would be lighter in skin-tone but they never had kids.  Go figure the Universe said: No."   

The larger Butt is now connecting us all.

Cultural Overlap. It’s all about the larger  BUTT look.

I often wondered when the Cultures started overlapping. We use see Runway models

and think hmmm "too skinny." Now we see dancers and performers that are curvy and have the look of women of Black or Hispanic cultures (race mixing more command in these races.)

So what's causing this?    I have to believe our taste in how woman should look is making the difference, as men of color , we favor  curves, it's as if  nature is  do it's thing to make us  happy.  As a man I prefere it if it ` is happening naturally but maybe a little help from science is OK.

" Butt cosmetic surgery"  is doing wonders these days… Butt lift, Butt in plants, lypo  and recycling of the fat sucked out of  their  oblique areas  making the waist line  smaller and inserted into the Butt areas. So now we Men have to wonder and even look carefully to see if there are scars that gives away the secrets of  any alterations.

Just so you know:     This is what I grewup seeing… of women of pale compections.

 Don’t get me wrong, I’m not HATING. I was once in a relationship with woman who made so many changes to herself I wonder what she was going to change next, maybe her personality should have been next (thinking that all she had to offer was her body), now older she should work on her personality... because the bodies can look good at 70+ these day, however personalities need to be Golden at any age if a woman want to attract the right type of admirers.

 Butt changes can be acceptable because we guys are all about the Booty that is firm and shapely. The women who don’t make these changes, are they changing natuaraly as nature is  cooperating with their wishes  So Kim K. proved that her butt was  naturally bigger than most white women…. By having a reality TV segment where she proved it using ultra sound. Now I see all the pics showing up on Facebook page of Booty beauty…. and others. etc… While most are Afrocentric women, many of the  pictures are of other women of other cultures. Who don't  naturally  look like these butt beauties. So what is it? are they are  changes in their diets. exercise routines? If so it’s working nicely, let nature take it’s coarse and continue making these changes. with a little help from their zumba instructors. Before long we will all look more alike than different.   What a wonderfull World this will be!

 Different shapes of beautiful Butts sounds like a Fantasy Island pole party where the host is a dude who appreciates  how women are suppose to look (curves and round butts) and will have  his buddies Judge the contest by evaluating the contestants as the climb the poles.  Sound like a job for mostly rappars and athletes... who wil have the lyrics ready to introduce each contestant.

Now this is becoming the new normal.

 Let's meet a few who will meet my grade A+ contestants. if I was judging.

           

This Sistah needs no intro. she is who I see every day as I walk the streets of major cities in the USA or the towns of any Caribbean Island/Brazil or Dom Rep or Cuba..

              

Here is contestant number 2. Oooh the bomb bloondie that looks so good butt in my view she e might be a sistah who is really light skinned.

Contestant number 3: And the big surprise of culture cross-over  is the choclate, mocha young lady with the slightly slanted eyes!

The Butt is not really shown but it is impied!

We may all have to wait sometime before all these cultures overlap to the point where we will not be able to tell the difference. Oooh Happy day, when all walking in front us men  look so shapely that we just can tell the difference.