a Boyfriend Doesn’t Have to Pay Bills Like a Husband

A female  friend, who lives with her boyfriend, had car problems. Via mass email, she asked all her friends for money to help with the expensive repair. I said to her privately, that maybe  her boyfriend should be handling that, not her friends. She called me  unrealistic! —Anonymous

My thoughts:
There are two separate issues here. One is her response to a friend who was asking for help; the other is whether her boyfriend is responsible for covering her repairs.

First her  response to a friend in need wasn't wrong, but it also wasn't right. Your girl is in need, and what you were supposed to do as a friend was let her know whether or not you could help, period. Telling her that her man is responsible for her finances wasn't really her place. It sounds as if she  didn't want to cough up any money—and it’s her right to say no—but instead of just being honest about that, she tried to pass the buck to her friend’s man. That was overstepping the boundaries of their friendship.

Her friend may have asked her man for money and he didn't have it or didn't have enough to cover everything. Or maybe he said no to her request, too. After all, as a boyfriend, he isn't obliged to cover her car repairs—just as her fiends aren't. The only person financially responsible for the car is the owner not her best friend. ,

But back to her boyfriend. I find many people these days have husband or wife expectations of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Covering or contributing to a major bill is a spouse duty, not a boyfriend's obligation. It’s nice when a boyfriend wants to pitch in to help, even though that can come with its own headaches, but he certainly shouldn't be your primary option for bailing you out of a financial mess. Your man isn't your personal ATM or a financial planner.

Girlfriend’s situation is a little tricky in that she and her partner may live together, sort of like husband and wife, but without the primary benefits of that commitment. Their situation is a gray area, one in which couples get to pick and choose which traits of a spouse they will take on. This is one of the complications of living as husband and wife without actually being such. It seems that the boyfriend here has chosen not to cover the cost of the car repair as a husband typically would. And that’s fine, since he is, in fact, not a husband.

Chris Rock - Differences Between Men And Women!