What do you think about having a baby before marriage, or no wedding at all?

Now that I'm more mature. I see things differently than I did when I was younger. Maybe my parents were right, they told me I  should raise my children in a home as  married parents. But I  also believe that my grand-parents were right also, because they were not married. But they raised their children to respect marriage, so almost all were married, but not all stayed together as married couples. I followed my parents lead and raise my two sons with my then wife... We were very happy  for 20+ years  or  so I thought,  but that marriage  fell apart and we became part of the 50 % stats, who spit up. So now my sons will follow my lead or choose to not be bothered with getting married, only time will tell.

Marriage is a ceremony that two people who love one another commit to in order to solidify their union. (Or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be.) But with the ubiquity of lusty adultery, betrayal, outside children and divorce rates so high, what does marriage really guarantee but maybe a few dollars in the bank if your spouse doesn’t act right?
People have the idea that marriage means security; that marriage equates true love, honor and respect. And it should. But how many wedding chapels in Vegas have hosted drunken on-the-whim ceremonies? And let’s not talk about how many more people jump the broom for the sake of alimony or snatching up a green card.

Simply put: Marriage is a beautiful thing when it’s done for the right reasons, but it does not always mean forever. Now babies on the other hand…yup! When two parents decide to bring a child into this world, it pretty much means they are bound for life, regardless if they stay together or not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that a baby will make a relationship stay in tack either, and again, I’m all for tying the knot before plumping the pot; but I’m starting to feel like society as a whole is beginning to devalue children as the ultimate prize simply because we see a host of people having babies (on top of babies, on top of more babies) with multiple people and no real commitment. The fact that everyone seems to be suffering from the Multiple Baby Mommy/Daddy Syndrome has caused us to look at children like sad side effects of a sick not morals society. When in reality, our main purpose on this Earth is to procreate.

Don’t get things twisted. This is not an blog-post  promoting babies out of wedlock, nor am I encouraging the leap and hop from one BM/BD to the next, but my goal is to evoke some serious thinking. As stated previously, neither marriage nor children guarantees a stable, healthy family structure. How many married folks do you know have suffered from a cheating spouse with outside children that then resulted in a messy divorce and a broken home? And we all know that having someone’s baby is not going to make your man or woman stay. But there are people out here with kids and without wedding bands who are more successful at maintaining a  happy household than many married couples.


When you really think about it, what better way for a couple to symbolize their love for one another than through the creation of a precious child? Something that comes from your soul; that lives, breathes and pumps your blood? Anyone can get married, but not everyone can have a baby. They are gifts from God. So should we continue to bash people who’d rather birth a child before they have  a wedding ring (or without a wedding ring at all)? (Even though their situation is a lot more complicated than this debate about kids versus marriage. So yeah, maybe they’re not the best example, but you get the point.)