When a woman enters into a relationship, she is dedicated to seeing it succeed. That deep commitment means that she’s likely to trust her partner, care for him and love him. She puts her partner before herself and is willing to give everything she has, even if it leads her in the wrong direction.
Women who are not careful will often end up in a hollow and harmful relationship, being manipulated and emotionally taken advantage of. Self-respect is key to a healthy relationship, as most good men seek out women who are strong and semi-independent, who recognize their worth and make sure that others recognize it as well.
Self-respect also gives you perspective. The type of perspective that allows you to see something for what it truly is. It gives a woman the power to leave the man she loves because it becomes crystal clear that she loved him for all of the wrong reasons.
Here are a few reasons that women will leave the men they fall in love with:
Are you a good communicator?
Failure to communicate
Women like having someone that they can talk with about things, and while they recognize that their partner cannot be with them 24/7, not being there when she needs you is a surefire way to get her to start packing her things.
Also, ‘being there’ means actually being there. She wants you to listen and to give her feedback, not for you to simply nod and agree with everything she says.
A physical connection is more important than you might think
While men typically get pegged as the sexual ones in a relationship, women are just as sexual, if not more so. Ignoring her sexual needs and desires will likely give off the impression that you’re getting your satisfaction elsewhere, or that she is unwanted. Both of these damage the relationship.
Caring about your partner’s needs in bed also says that you value the relationship and that you want it to last. Lust will always fade, but a true kind of love means you’re naturally attracted to your partner for much longer.
Insecurity
Why is he keeping his distance?
Everyone has them, but some are better at hiding them than others. Outwardly projecting your insecurities is a great way to turn someone off from you entirely. If a woman’s partner doesn’t trust her, and is constantly expressing distrust in her, she sees it as a lack of love and faith.
When you truly love your partner, you trust them entirely and know that they will not do anything to harm you. This means no snooping through phones or email accounts looking for dirt.
I wish you would stop crowding me!
Lack of personal space
People absolutely need time to themselves, it’s a natural part of growing in life. Suffocating a woman by not allowing her to spend time alone or with her friends causes resentment and unrest. Always be sure to give her time and space to grow organically in her own way, just as you should be doing as well.
You try to change her
When you fall in love with a woman, you should be sure that you’re falling for who she is, not who you think she will become or who you can transform her into. Every person deserves to be loved for who they are, and being with someone who is constantly trying to change every aspect about who you are will drive you insane.
the following was written by Farrah Gray
Sometimes, the second time around is not such a good idea. But there are times when hooking back up with your ex can work out. Relationship experts say that there are five basic signs that indicate that getting back with your former love interest is a good idea.
If he spoiled you, letting go is tougher!
1. Do you still like him? Seriously, do you still have feelings for him, and do you actually like him? You can love someone but not really like him. Actually digging him as a person and caring for him are two great layers of foundation for a successful reunion. 2. You both desire the same things. You have similar goals, such as having a family, buying a house or other important life goals.
3. You have not been able to move on. You have tried to forget him and maybe even dated other people. But your heart still seems to belong to him. He made you laugh and smile and you often remember those things, even when you are with someone else.
So let's try again, you know how I feel about you!
4. You are willing to try again. That may mean that you are willing to make some changes. You have to examine what the problem was and do what it takes to fix it. 5. He is willing to try again, too. Obviously it takes two to tango, so this will only work again if you both are willing to do the work to first, fix what drove you apart; and second, make a new commitment to each other.
Here is my BAD perspective:
YOU CAN WRITE A LIST OF THE WAYS HE’S CHANGED It’s how you keep track and know he’s not just saying it will be different this time.
Looking out to see when he might walk by!
We all start out liking the other person... but that does not mean that we need to form a union with them. Think about the bride that is just 22 years old.. she is too young and too in-experienced to make a "until death do us part" commitment. Or better yet the guy who is 25 may think that "for better or for worse" really means he will have to suffer to endure all the twists and turns of a long term relationship as his punishment for forming this union. Having feeling in the moment.... is just that in the moment.. and some of us are not ready for the next moments that will bring change.
YOU HAD A KNEE-JERK REACTION For some of us, “goodbye” is the first line of defense. If you jumped the gun too quickly, don’t let pride keep you from going back to a good thing.Ifyou feel that it’s the right move to make.
We can fix this..... if we try!
So you have a few things in common, you can list them on one side of a paper...... and then one of you decide that "this person is Perfect for me!" Oooh hell, there goes all the common sense out of the brain. "Perfect "is always the wrong label to give a potential whatever...... boyfriend, girlfriend, future baby Mama, or Dada. You are now addicted to that moment, when you felt something, you may have never felt before, and you are stuck, with that feeling as it become stronger..........but maybe it's heart burn.
HE HASN’T PROVEN THAT THE PROBLEM CAN’T BE FIXED
We all make mistakes and most of us deserve a chance to try to turn things around. But again, not too many chances.
Stuck in snow bank!
OK this is very simple for someone like me ....... I see you are stuck in a Rut. It is like being stuck in snow bank with your car, your wheels are front wheel drive, so they are spinning and the more gas you give the more they spin , but you are not going anywhere, get a little help from someone else and gain some traction. and see if you will not be able to move on with your life. As long as you are stationary you will keep thinking about the same things that gave you some pleasure but it didn't last for a reason the pleasure you had together was not meant to be permanent. Nothing is permanent!
YOU TRUST HIS WORD THAT HE WILL DO BETTER
Despite his flaws, he’s someone you feel comfortable putting your faith in when he says things will be different.
This window reminds me of a prison!
When has anything you tried, in a relationship, again and again ever worked out well.. the reason most are willing to try to be with someone again after it didn't work out the first time is simple because they didn't fully understand why it didn't workout the first 10 times they tried to make it work. Stop fooling yourself.
YOU’VE HAD TIME TO GRIEVE…
And you’re still in love. The real thing isn’t always perfect. If you thought you’d be over it by now but something is calling you back, it might be time to give this love a second chance. You might regret it if you don’t.
Just because someone is willing to try again, also.... doesn't mean that either of you know what you are really doing!!!! Jail stops people from become repeat offenders in the Present time while they are doing their time in a jail cell. Once they are free to choose their new life, they should never repeat the life they lived before. Don't you think that if it was right from the beginning you would not have to try again... with the same person. I rest my case!
Smart people are supposed to be able to figure things out, right?
Yet when it comes to dating, they are often left out in the cold. Most people – OK, I’m going to say average people – have a pretty good combination of street smarts and social sense to live comfortably in our world and successfully enjoy the dating process. But those folks that are more apt to have a lot of smarts (or book sense) often encounter troubles when it comes to finding a suitable mate or even enjoying the dating scene.
I have so much to learn and I will like to learn exciting thing....... from and with you!
Now I’m not saying brilliant people are social morons. Not at all. But you have to admit; smart women especially have more trouble dating than their “average” peers. Here are a few reasons why: • Smart people tend to focus more on achievements than social activities when growing up. When most kids are out playing, they’re inside banging out a piano lesson or studying something. They are the ones that get good grades and at 13 are already thinking about what college they are going to attend. Proms and parties and teenage shenanigans are on the back-burner and so are the social lessons that come with them.
You are catering to....... so..... many of my needs. Right now. I hope this will continue !
• Smart people believe their hard work will earn them love. Again, it goes back to how they were brought up. Chances are their parents were smart people, too, and they were rewarded hugely when they achieved something, such as straight As or first prize at the science fare. That’s when they got the kudos, the applause, the smiles, the pat on the back and the “Oh, I’m so proud of you!” So their logic is… “If I continue to work hard, I will be loved, right?”
• Being smart is often their identity. That’s how people think of that person, not as a person with romantic feelings. And for a lady, being smart can be especially tough since you may not have been taught the things girls do… experiment with make up, check out different hair styles, consider fashions with your BFF… you were busy studying or trying to figure out that physics equation. So now, you may not have the social graces that your peers do, which of course puts you at a disadvantage to the gals who now how to dress to impress.
So what's your IQ.. Please tell me you are almost as smart as me!
• It’s difficult for you to be interested in someone not as smart as you. Time is not on your side. Since you have focused on achieving since you were a kid, that’s still a big part of your personality. It’s not in your persona now to blow off a workday and head to the beach with some brews and some boys, or schedule a secret rendezvous in the middle of the afternoon with the special someone. Smart people tend to be workaholics who generally don’t put a lot of time into dating.
It’s never too late to relax and lay the books down for a while. Actually, the library can be a great place to meet somebody!
There are many misconceptions about the term soul mate and that of a life partner. A soulmate is someone who comes into your life to teach you, enrich you, push you and transcend you into a higher state of being and consciousness. A life partner is a companion whom you trust and depend on during your life.
Here are 5 differences between a soulmate and life partner:
1. A soul mate fulfills a lesson in your life.
Two hearts joined together as one!
Soulmates can enter your life masked as friends, family members, and lovers. They fill a passion and desire that needs to be learned. Once the assignment and guidance is completed a soul mate usually exists the picture, often times leaving an inconceivable amount of heart ache.
A life partner has similar interests in your life. This person is the cheerleader, the pillar of strength and support that encourages you to take risks. Unlike the soulmate, a life partner sticks around regardless of what obstacles and challenges are ahead. Life partners are spiritually and emotionally connected without egotistical notions.
2. There is a huge difference in soul connections.
Let's freeze this moment as the beginning of our history together!
Soulmates have a deep connection through heart and consciousness. They hit the ego and bring about turmoil. The relationships are intense and full of transitions. These beautiful experiences usually end in broken hearts. Soul mates bring with them karmic lessons that need to be completed in this incarnation.
Life partners arrive at a moment when there is self love and acceptance. You are no longer needing to fulfill an emptiness that cannot be explained. These partners join you with similar stories. They are there for the long haul.
“A soulmate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
3. There is an attraction that goes beyond this timeline.
People said we were too young to make a life time commitment to each other
When you meet your soulmate, you feel as if you have known them forever. You understand each other and have similar ways of thinking. Your childhoods have similar stories. This is where the intensity in soul mates starts. There is a “knowing” that magnetically attracts you to each other. These relationships can be chaotic and destructive since there are levels of mirroring one another: the flaws and habits.
Whereas, life partners come from different paths and backgrounds. The differences enhance the emotional connection. You want to know more and learn from each other. You feel at ease in their presence, and this turns into a friendship that is profound and everlasting. Love grows with each passing day.
“Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.” ~ Paulo Coelho
4. A soul mate knows you intuitively.
There is a higher connection between thinking and feeling. You know each others’ thoughts and desires. Soulmates do not need words to convey their ideas and emotions. They have been where you are. They know how it is to feel a certain way.
Life partners are attracted to one another physically and crave to learn the other’s values. The relationship is based on logical and intellectual stimulation rather than an emotional one driven by soulmates full of highs and lows.
5. When you meet your soulmate, you have just had a huge life experience.
We will show this pic to our grand children one day!
Soulmates arrive at a specific time when something needs to find closure. Amazing lessons come through these relationships. The love that is shared is ecstatic and sometimes full of hard obstacles. These two people are trying to find footing in a relationship that brings out the best and worst in each other.
The relationship with a life partner is easy. It begins without work. It continues to connect through the current day-to-day events. There is no past or future stories that manipulate the union. There is just right now. These relationships have healthy marriages because both sides are ready to create a oneness while still remaining in their own individuality and authenticity.
It is very possible that your soulmate can also be your life partner. And, it is also possible that the relationship with a life partner can become a profound soul connection. The biggest difference between a life partner and a soulmate is that one is a choice and the other one is not. There is no better or worst in these two types of relationships. Your soul and your connections create these special bonds. Each person that enters your life is a teacher and student.
For those wondering what’s on
the minds of men, I'm giving you the inside scoop on what, many
men, really want you to know about dating ...we want: Positive reinforcement and Peace of mind!
We men wants to know the following:
IS
SHE ADVENTUROUS?"
More
and more men are embarking on different hobbies such as running,
hiking, kayaking, hunting, fishing, etc.. One of the first questions
they ask is; “Will she do these things with me, or at least
accompany me?” I would encourage our females to keep an open mind
and at least try to enjoy a new experience even if it takes you outside your comfort zone. Remember ladies, it’s all about
creating memories.
"IS
SHE SPONTANEOUS?"
Yes,
ladies this one’s a biggie. I hear right from many of my Black brothers mouths that they get bored easily and are looking for a
woman to break the monotony. Be open to trying new things like
tasting different types of food or trying an adventurous or totally
un-expected activity.
"CAN
SHE MAKE DECISIONS WITHOUT FAMILY PRESSURE?"
We wants to know 1. Will your business stay between just you two? 2. Do
you need your parents or other family members’ approval before
making decisions? Or, will we make important decisions together as a
team?
“IF
SHE’S SPIRITUAL, THAT’S A PLUS. BUT WHAT ELSE CAN SHE OFFER?”
Many Black men love a woman who believes in God and will pray on
our behalf. But will she beat him over the head with her religion
every chance she gets? Will she require every date and every
conversation to be consumed with her love of the Lord? Men share
that they want a woman to have more to offer and to discuss besides all
things church. Although spirituality is most often a plus with most fellas, we would rather you showcase the characteristics and
hobbies that make you unique in addition to your love of God. Personally I prefer not deal with, what many women do, they believe their church and their spiritual leader is perfect, so if you suggest that you go to another church they consider it to out of the question, but they want you to go to their church with them!
"CAN
SHE FLIP IT?"
Many
Black men think they want a woman they can bring around their
friends but who can also represent them well with the right amount of
professionalism and sexy whether it’s accompanying them to a work
event or going out on a romantic night on the town. Cliché, but
sadly, still a true question they do emphasize.
“IF
SHE’S AMBITIOUS, CAN SHE STILL BE DOWN TO EARTH?”
The
majority of our women these days are successful, professional, affluent
singles and many of them want Black men on their levels. What they want to share is that
we are extremely proud of our sisters, however we don’t want to
hear about work, work, work all of the time. We want to see the fun
side of you.....
"CAN
SHE BE AS VULNERABLE AS SHE IS STRONG?"
Some Black men tell it this way, early on in a dating relationship,
it’s sometimes difficult to get to know the real woman beneath the
hard exterior she’s developed to cope with past hurts and failed
relationships. They want to know more about you early on and what
makes you tick. Try to start off every new relationship with a clean
slate; give him a preview of who you are at your core and welcome him
to get to know more and more of the real you. It’s okay to be
optimistic and it will help you form a deeper emotional bond.
"DOES
SHE DISCUSS THINGS OR JUST COMPLAIN?"
Many
men mention concern over dating women who would rather argue than
discuss what’s on their mind.
"DOES
SHE HAVE A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?"
One
thing that can be a huge turn-on for us Black men is the woman who
consistently operates as if the glass is half full—someone who is
encouraging and can see what seems impossible for both herself and
her man to be Possible!
"IS
SHE CONFIDENT WITH HER BODY?
I
have said this a million times: Black men see the most
attractive thing about a woman is her confidence, no matter what size
she is. If she likes it and looks and feels beautiful, we loves it.
Case closed. Stop pointing out all of your flaws. Most often you are
bringing attention to things we doesn’t even see. We say, own it, my sister!
"IS
SHE ON MY TEAM?"
Black
men tell me they just want to know they have a safe, nonjudgmental
place in you to feel safe and secure. Will
she have my back? When I have a bad day, can I trust her to lift me
up and encourage me? Does she support me as much as I’ll support
her?
"IS
SHE VAIN?"
Is
she willing to get her hair wet? The natural hair movement is here to
stay, but Black women (natural or relaxed) don’t want to get their
hair wet. This limits activities they love such as swimming,
splashing around at the beach and jet skiing. Our Black male clients
who are active in water sports like boating and fishing worry that
certain styles take a lot of work for a woman to maintain if it gets
wet. He would rather her experience these activities with him and
have a style that allows her the flexibility to not make her hair a
huge issue.
PLEASE,
DON'T MISS THE POINTS HERE
MY
goal is always to provide our sisters with a better understanding of
what we real men ARE
looking
for love are thinking. Whenever I
see a trend or hear a reoccurring theme in one area or another I
want to let you know. Understanding how we men look at dating can help you better understand our dating behaviors. I
want you ladies to be well informed and have successful, happy, long term
relationships and marriages. Here’s to love!
To love somebody
This song was written for Otis Redding but he died before he could record it. Just in case you were wondering!
If you’re married or living with your partner, it’s easy to take for granted that you’ll get to spend time together and that you’ll always feel bonded. But that’s a dangerous mentality because you’ll quickly let everything in your life overshadow your relationship; you’ll let work, social engagements, and family obligations take every spare moment, until you have no quality time left to spend with your partner.
But neglecting your relationship goes deeper than neglecting to spend time on it—there will always be someone or something that believes it deserves most of your attention and loyalty. If you want your relationship to survive, you have to protect it from being overpowered by the needs and demands of others. Here are 15 times you need to put your relationship first.
WHEN IT’S NOT THAT GREAT OF A FRIEND
I can't believe you decided to stay and watch the game with me!
There’s barely time to see your closest friends, so you should not be wasting the one Sunday you’ve had free in months by going to your acquaintance’s barbecue. If you and your partner need quality time, pursue that instead of some half-friendship.
WHEN CONFIDENTIALITY MATTERS
While it’s tempting to tell your best friend everything about your relationship, you have to remember that your friend will never have the whole picture like you do. Use your best judgment in deciding what to share with outsiders about your relationship, because they can quickly misconstrue information, take it out of context, and judge your partner negatively. Now you’ve made it awkward for him to be around those people.
WHEN YOU HAVEN’T HAD SEX IN A WHILE
If you haven’t had sex in weeks, it’s time to stop letting one more damn thing get in the way. Skip the pre-dinner cocktail party, or the previews at the movies, or the two-hour sale at Bed, Bath, and Beyond; you’re getting busy today. If you don’t make time to be physically close, you’ll stop feeling
emotionally close.
WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS SICK OF ALL THE OTHER STUFF THAT KEEPS COMING UP!
Going though these bills is really depressing me!
When your partner is sick, and even when he insists that he doesn’t need you, don’t go to some meaningless party or night club. You would want your partner to stay home with you rather than go rage if you were sick and you know it.
WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS DEPRESSED
Having a depressed partner can be a very confusing experience. Usually, it feels like you can’t do anything to help them, and so you ask yourself, “Should I just go out with friends? I don’t do any good by staying here.” But the truth is that while you can’t necessarily help the situation, you can hurt it by seeming like socializing is more important than being a support to your partner.
WHEN THERE’S ONLY ONE VACATION BUDGET
If you can only afford to go on one trip this year, and you and your boo have been hurting for quality time, spend that budget on a trip with your partner. Your girlfriends might want you to spend it on the Vegas trip they arranged, but if your partner is willing to spend his vacation budget on you, you should be willing to do the same for him.
What do you mean I'm not invited to the party?
WHEN YOUR INVITATION ONLY ADMITS ONE
As a woman, you’ll often have the experience where your invitation to an event or party only admits one. Why? That party is trying to gather as many attractive women as possible, to attract high profile guests. But if a party won’t let you in with your MAN, screw them.
WHEN YOUR SOCIAL CALENDARS ARE TOO FULL
If your social calendars are just getting too full, you need to put the breaks on. It’s okay to say no to an invitation, even if it’s from a good friend or family member if you desperately need alone time with your partner. A good friend or family member will understand.
WHEN SOMEONE WANTS TO USE YOUR PARTNER
Thanks for helping me move, your wife was right you are nice strong guy
Your single friends will probably turn to you every time they need to move heavy furniture, asking if your boyfriend can help them. If your partner has a special skill, like fixing computers, your friends will hit you up about that all of the time. But if your partner is overwhelmed and exhausted, shield him from these requests and just tell your friend he’s busy.
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE TWO PASSING SHIPS
Any time you get the feeling that you’ve barely seen each other, it’s time to do a serious re-haul of your calendars. If you consistently struggle to see each other for more than twenty minutes a night, right before passing out, you need to quit a fitness class or volunteer program or happy hour or something. Your relationship needs your attention.
WHEN YOUR FAMILY WANTS INPUT
Do you have to consult your family Every time?
Your family will want input on where you live, what cars you buy, how you raise your children, how you paint your living room, how you spend the holidays and the list goes on. But ultimately, it’s you and your partner who live with those results and consequences, so it should be you and your partner who decide on them.
WHEN YOU’RE TIGHT ON MONEY
If you’re tight on money, and can only afford to either buy stuff for yourself or help pay for experiences for you and your partner (like movie nights), you should save it for the two of you. You need date night more than you need those shoes.
WHEN YOU’VE BEEN FIGHTING
While you may not feel like being around your partner after a big fight, you probably shouldn’t go out and get drunk, either—that makes it seem like you run away from your problems. If you and your boo are fighting, you just need to cancel girls night. You were only going to be grumpy, anyways
WHEN YOUR BOO HATES YOUR BEST FRIEND’S BOO
Can't you stop Working even for a little while, and focus on ME!
Unfortunately, your partner isn’t going to always love your friends’ partners. And sometimes, you’ll totally see his point. If your best friend has a partner who is insufferable, don’t force your man to go on double dates. Shield him from that situation as much as possible.
WHEN YOUR WORK IS YOUR LIFE
Hey, if you don’t want a relationship then by all means, work 80 hour weeks. But if you really want a relationship, and it’s breaking your heart that you don’t get enough time with your partner, you’ll have to make some sacrifices. You may have to say no to the occasional networking drink or extra project.
People you significant other needs to feel like they are "the Only one!"
There is something not right here, but it was good while it lasted
Men can be pretty open about why we leave relationships, you ladies just have to learn how to face it!. Men aren’t embarrassed if the reasons are petty, egotistical or selfish. For better or for worse, men are a bit more accepting than women of the idea, “This is who I am. I’d rather find somebody who accepts my major flaws than try to fix them.” That’s why some of our reasons for leaving relationships can leave you going, “Huh?” because you can’t help but wonder, “Isn’t that just going to keep happening?” Maybe. Or maybe men have the best filters ever, and a very efficient dating process because they aren’t ashamed of their less-than-admirable needs. Here are a few harsh but true reasons men leave women.
THEY WANT A YOUNGER WOMAN
Will you be willing to do a makeup - aging test so I can see what you will look like 10-20 years from now?
Some men are crazy about a woman, but they know that by the time they’ve dated for a while, lived together and gotten married, she would be older than the woman they envisioned having children with.
THEY CANNOT HANDLE YOUR MOODS
It’s sad and not necessarily fair, but some men cannot stay with a woman who deals with depression, anxiety, or even just drastic shift in moods. They don’t like wondering if every day they’ll need to cancel their plans to play therapist. Again, it’s not fair, but it is what it is.
SHE’S NOT QUITE CRAZY ENOUGH
Then you have men who love themselves some crazy. Some men crave women who put them in their place, get jealous and act a little controlling. Might those men need therapy? Yes, and there are a lot of them.<smirking>
SHE’S DONE SOMETHING MESSED UP IN THE PAST
When are you going to let go of my past messups?
Men aren’t always as forgiving as women are (that says a whole lot). A lot of men are terrified if they know a woman cheated on a past partner. They don’t understand female infidelity, and they just think it will happen again.
SHE WANTS TO WORK FOREVER
There are some old-fashioned types who want a woman who promises to quit working when they get married or have children. If the woman won’t, that man leaves. Good riddance to him, right?
SHE DOESN’T WANT TO WORK
In general, a man shouldn’t have a say in whether or not his partner works. If a woman has plenty of money saved up or has a trust fund and would rather do philanthropic work than for-profit work, she should get to do that. But some men won’t be with a woman who doesn’t make any income.
SHE LETS HERSELF GO
This scale needs to ssssstop lying!
It always pains me to have to write about this anywhere, but unfortunately, plenty of men have no issue admitting, “I left my wife because she let herself go.” Surely the man’s six-pack is on point…not.
SHE TALKS ABOUT HOUSE STUFF TOO MUCH
Many men complain that their partners became their roommate and that all they would talk about was toilet paper consistency, dirty dishes, and laundry detergent. The magic just…went away.
SHE HAS TOO MANY MALE ADMIRERS
I like that butt....not enough to make her my woman! She draws too much damn attention!
Men can have some pretty big egos. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter if a woman is clearly loyal and honest–if she has too many other men after her, her partner won’t want to deal with it.
SHE LOSES HER SOCIAL LIFE
A lot of men can get nervous when their partner loses her own identity and social life. Nobody wants to feel that their partner depends on them for human interaction.
SHE’S NOT A GOOD NURTURER
While men don’t want to play therapist to a depressed woman, they certainly want someone to play mommy to them when they’re down. Men will often leave women if those women don’t do a good job of nurturing and babying them when they’re upset.
SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE IN HIM
A man doesn’t want to be with a woman who doesn’t believe in his dreams. If he senses his partner doesn’t think he’s the best at what he does and doesn’t believe he will succeed, he won’t stick around.
SHE DOMINATED HIS SOCIAL CALENDAR
If a man wakes up every day to new events added to his calendar that he didn’t put there, he may feel suffocated and bolt.
SHE DIDN’T WANT A FAMILY
Are you serious? you didn't want a kid like Me?
Some men really really want to be fathers, and their partners simply don’t want that. For those men, a healthy, loving, romantic relationship just isn’t enough.
SOME MEN FEEL THEY HAVEN’T SLEPT AROUND ENOUGH
Then, finally, you have the guys who adore a woman but think, “I’m 32. I easily have another decade of landing some pretty hot tail ahead of me. Why stop now?”
Being someone who wants to be in a loving relationship isn't easy, constant stress and being force to wear multiple hats, all are the norm, in today's World. From the outside looking in, it might appear that it’s all rainbows and sunshine, but ask even the most successful married couple if it was easy -- they will undoubtedly shake their head and smile. Still putting in work.
So, how do you remain somewhat sane throughout the love journey? The answer is simple: be happy. When you love who you are, happiness isn’t far behind. There are, however, some things that will hold you back. So, stop doing these things and you will be happier.
1. Seeking the approval of others.
Do you think he will like this shade.... Or it too loud!
It’s important that you learn how to trust your gut and make decisions that impact your life on your own. It doesn’t matter how amazing and achievable your ideas might be, there will always be those that oppose them if you ask for approval.
We naturally want to make everyone happy, especially when it comes to friends and family -- but unless they are in the trenches with you and share the same vision, their input can only stress you out, leading you to making poor decisions.
2. Pointing the blame at others.
When it hits the fan -- and eventually it will -- it’s very easy to blame someone or something else. As a couple, you are ultimately responsible for everything that happens within your live. Even if your love interest screws up, you are responsible for your reaction. You made that decision to try to make it work, so now you must patch the holes and fix the ship before it sinks.
A smart man once said , “The sooner you own up to your mistake, the sooner you can take action to correct it.” This single piece of advice can eliminate a lot of unnecessary headaches and stress. 3. Not believing in yourself.
What is one trait that all successful people have in common? They all believe in themselves -- they have 100 percent confidence that they can win -- at anything and everything.
If you doubt your abilities, those negative thoughts will dominate and defeat you. Confidence and positive thinking is a very powerful combination that can help you reach every goal you set. “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve,” concluded Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich.
4. Complaining.
I wanted a perfect wedding , but this is not perfect enough!
Complaining will never get you anywhere. It’s literally a huge waste of time, and the longer you complain about something, the longer it will take you to find a solution to fix the issue. If you want a stress free life, partnering with someone is not for you.
There are going to be many obstacles in your way that will stress you out and you will most likely get knocked down a few times -- failure is very possible. Complaining is a productivity-suck that will royally interfere with your goals and focus. Be tough and be ready for challenges.
5. Being scared of change.
Change is a common occurrence in life. A change in direction after a pivot, a change in location. When you push that fear aside and embrace change, it opens the door to happiness.
I’ll give you a prime example: If you aren’t happy, so some positive some thinking. What I came to realize was that the only part of my ventures that I truly loved was the marketing aspect, so I decided to drop everything and start Market Domination Media®. Was it scary at first? You bet, but it ended up being a great move -- and it wouldn’t have happened had I been scared of change.
6. Expecting to win an argument 100 Percent of the time.
Does David Ortiz go up to bat expecting to hit a home run every time? Does Tom Brady expect to throw a touch-down pass every offensive play? No. While they are confident in their abilities, they understand that they aren’t going to hit home runs and throw TD’s every time out there.
smart men need to go into each situation knowing that you can’t win every time. While confidence is important, it needs a small amount of reality mixed in. If you expect to win every time, that first loss will be devastating and a motivation killer. 7. Giving up.
Watch your step don't loose your balance!
One of my favorite stats is about James Dyson, creator of Dyson vacuum cleaners. If he gave up, the world’s most successful vacuum would have never been invented. He created 5,127 prototypes of the vacuum, all failures, before the first successful model was produced. It was 15 years of never giving up that now has Dyson worth approximately $5 billion.
While most people in his shoes would have quit after a few failures -- maybe even a dozen -- he was so relentless, that he pushed hard for fifteen years and more than five thousand failed prototypes. “Giving up” was certainly not in his vocabulary. In sharp contrast many give up after not really try hard enough to keep their relationships going, when things are not working the way the couple envision it in the beginning.
I wanted to impress everyone, but they are all no-shows, did we pick the right location.
8. Trying to impress.
I’m going to keep this one short and sweet: don’t fall for the social media bling factor. So many people try to impress -- pictures of cars, watches, homes, vacations, weddings....etc. Sadly, the majority of it is all fabricated to make folks envious.
Instead of worrying about impressing people, focus your energy on these three things: your relationship, health, and family. That is the true formula for happiness.
If you’re an ambitious man, you’re bound to feel like a failure from time to time. Lofty goals lead to inevitable moments when you aren’t yet living up to your expectations,or the expectations of the woman in your life. She may not say it but she is feeling it.
Stocks are looking better it was touch and go there for a minute!
We live in a world that reinforces this feeling. Though most people won’t admit it -- other than the guy with the ‘He who dies with the most toys wins’ bumper sticker -- in the back of our minds, we equate material possessions with success, and women look at you as more of a success based on the house you live in and the car you drive. These material things may not define who you are but they tell the World that you are doing better than most.
I just love that crown emblem on my grill... reminding me and it tells everyone that "I'm a King."
It’s a shame we fall prey to materialistic thinking because we certainly know better. A study found that 90% of Americans believe happiness is a bigger indicator of success than power, possessions or prestige. Digging a little deeper, 67% defined success as “good relationships with friends and family,” and 60% said it is loving what you do for a living. Only 20% stated that monetary wealth determines success. But we know it is the unwritten measuring stick In most cases, especially woman, judge you by your wallet size......
You will not be able to take it with you to the other life
When it comes to success, our eyes often lead us astray. It’s hard not to feel like the most successful people are those with the biggest houses, the most expensive cars, and the most influential friends. Regardless of what you achieve, there’s always someone with more, and this can make you feel like you’re losing. The problem isn’t your lack of toys; it’s believing that toys indicate true success. The image you project is often the image that folks see and they may gravitate to you because of that image. when a man is projecting what he can flaunt as he trophies his stock rises to a point were he is coveted by almost everyone.. especially women!
Real success is about who you are and how far you’ve come. If you ever worry that you’re not as successful as you should be, you may be evaluating yourself against the wrong criteria. Sometimes you just need a reminder as to what you’ve really accomplished in life. The success indicators that follow will help you do just that.
The Peace of mind that a guy experiences when he is no longer competing with anyone, is epic!
1. You’re no longer the center of the universe. We all know “successful” people who act like they’re the center of the universe. It’s their world and the rest of us just live in it...right? That’s not success. True success requires the ability to feel empathy -- to realize that other people’s feelings and dreams are just as important as ours, and we cannot succeed without them.
2. You stay positive. Hope and optimism are essential components of a happy life. If you dwell on the things that go wrong, you become bitter and resentful. When that happens, you fail -- no matter what you may have achieved. Real success means always seeing the bright side and believing you have the power to make even the worst situations better.
When will I ever get this sauce to taste like my mom's?
3. You know that failure isn’t forever. You’ve learned that the only people who never fail are those who don’t try. When you fail, you don’t automatically assume that you’re a failure. Instead, you embrace each failure as an opportunity to learn something -- and then you move on. If you still struggle with this at times, know that you’ll never experience true success until you learn to embrace failure. Your mistakes pave the way for your success by revealing when you’re on the wrong path. The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you’re feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck. It’s this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box and see the solution you’ve been missing.
Will you still love me tomorrow if I lost everything that we have enjoyed up to this point? I would really appreciate your support right now!
4. You keep things in perspective. Sometimes bad things happen. It’s part of life. For most of us, however, our very worst day would seem like a vacation to somebody who has real problems -- like not having enough to eat, or trying to survive a civil war. Locking your keys in the car -- or even getting passed over for a promotion -- aren’t that bad once you learn to develop perspective. If you’ve mastered the ability to keep your problems in perspective, mark it down as a huge success. 5. You ask for help when you need it. Refusing to ask for help, no matter how much you’re struggling, is a sign of emotional immaturity. Asking for help means that you no longer feel like you have something to prove by being perfect. It shows you aren’t afraid of people discovering your weaknesses and you understand no one succeeds alone.
Game changer! My new lifestyle is so much simpler!
6. You realize that life isn’t a zero-sum game. It’s not a see-saw, either. Just because somebody else achieves a big success, that doesn’t mean you suffer a loss in equal proportion. You just didn’t win that particular time. One sure sign of success is the ability to celebrate others’ achievements with sincere enthusiasm. 7. You can tell the difference between drama and excitement. Remember the days when stable relationships were boring, and you quickly got tired of anyone who treated you as they should? If that kind of “drama” is a thing of the past, congratulations. If you prefer stability and depth to drama, you’re succeeding. 8. You no longer care what other people think. You only worry about what other people think when you still feel like you have something to prove. Conversely, you know you’ve “made it” when you don’t worry about that anymore -- when you’re true to yourself and your principles, and satisfied with your life. You know you’ve made it when you understand that other people’s opinions are just that -- opinions. They have no effect on reality. They don’t change who or what you are.
9. You accept what you can’t change and change what you can. There’s a difference between pessimism and practicality. If there’s a hurricane headed your way, there’s nothing you can do to stop it. But once you accept that the hurricane is coming, you can start working to mitigate its effects. If your company downsizes and you get laid off, every moment you spend in denial just delays whatever is waiting over the horizon. You’re able to move on only when you start exploring your options and making plans to change what you can. Taking responsibility for changing the things you don’t like about your life is one of the biggest indicators of success. 10. Bringing It All Together.There’s no sense in feeling like a failure just because you think you should have a better job, a bigger house, or a nicer car. Real success comes from the inside, and it’s completely independent of circumstance.
