Here's to L-O-V-E on a weekend!

For those wondering what’s on the minds of men, I'm giving you the inside scoop on what, many men, really want you  to know about dating ...we want: Positive reinforcement and Peace of mind!

We  men wants to know the following: 

IS SHE ADVENTUROUS?"

More and more men are embarking on different hobbies such as running, hiking, kayaking, hunting, fishing, etc.. One of the first questions they ask is; “Will she do these things with me, or at least accompany me?” I would  encourage our females  to keep an open mind and at least try to enjoy a new experience even if it takes you  outside your comfort zone. Remember ladies, it’s all about creating memories.

"IS SHE SPONTANEOUS?"

Yes, ladies this one’s a biggie. I hear right from many of my  Black brothers mouths that they get bored easily and are looking for a woman to break the monotony. Be open to trying new things like tasting different types of food or trying an adventurous or totally un-expected activity.

"CAN SHE MAKE DECISIONS WITHOUT FAMILY PRESSURE?"

We  wants to know 1. Will your business stay between just you two? 2. Do you need your parents or other family members’ approval before making decisions? Or, will we make important decisions together as a team?

“IF SHE’S SPIRITUAL, THAT’S A PLUS. BUT WHAT ELSE CAN SHE OFFER?”

Many  Black men love a woman who believes in God and will pray on our behalf. But will she beat him over the head with her religion every chance she gets? Will she require every date and every conversation to be consumed with her love of the Lord? Men  share that they want a woman to have more to offer and to discuss besides all things church. Although spirituality is most often a plus with most fellas, we  would rather you showcase the characteristics and hobbies that make you unique in addition to your love of God. Personally I prefer not deal with, what many women do, they believe their church and their spiritual leader is perfect, so if you suggest that you go to another church they consider it to out of the question, but they want you to go to their church with them!

"CAN SHE FLIP IT?"

Many Black men think they want a woman they can bring around their friends but who can also represent them well with the right amount of professionalism and sexy whether it’s accompanying them to a work event or going out on a romantic night on the town. Cliché, but sadly, still a true question they do emphasize.

“IF SHE’S AMBITIOUS, CAN SHE STILL BE DOWN TO EARTH?”

The majority of our women these days  are successful, professional, affluent singles and many of them want Black men on their levels. What they want to share  is that we are extremely proud of our sisters, however we don’t want to hear about work, work, work all of the time. We want to see the fun side of you.....

"CAN SHE BE AS VULNERABLE AS SHE IS STRONG?"

Some  Black men tell it this way, early on in a dating relationship, it’s sometimes difficult to get to know the real woman beneath the hard exterior she’s developed to cope with past hurts and failed relationships. They want to know more about you early on and what makes you tick. Try to start off every new relationship with a clean slate; give him a preview of who you are at your core and welcome him to get to know more and more of the real you. It’s okay to be optimistic and it will help you form a deeper emotional bond.

"DOES SHE DISCUSS THINGS OR JUST COMPLAIN?"

Many men mention concern over dating women who would rather argue than discuss what’s on their mind.

"DOES SHE HAVE A POSITIVE OUTLOOK?"

One thing that can be a huge turn-on for us Black men is the woman who consistently operates as if the glass is half full—someone who is encouraging and can see what seems impossible for both herself and her man to be Possible!

"IS SHE CONFIDENT WITH HER BODY?

I have said this a million times: Black men see  the most attractive thing about a woman is her confidence, no matter what size she is. If she likes it and looks and feels beautiful, we loves it. Case closed. Stop pointing out all of your flaws. Most often you are bringing attention to things we doesn’t even see. We say, own it, my sister!

"IS SHE ON MY TEAM?"

Black men tell me they just want to know they have a safe, nonjudgmental place in you to feel safe and secure.  Will she have my back? When I have a bad day, can I trust her to lift me up and encourage me? Does she support me as much as I’ll support her?

"IS SHE VAIN?"

 Is she willing to get her hair wet? The natural hair movement is here to stay, but Black women (natural or relaxed) don’t want to get their hair wet. This limits activities they love such as swimming, splashing around at the beach and jet skiing. Our Black male clients who are active in water sports like boating and fishing worry that certain styles take a lot of work for a woman to maintain if it gets wet. He would rather her experience these activities with him and have a style that allows her the flexibility to not make her hair a huge issue.

PLEASE, DON'T MISS THE POINTS HERE

MY goal is always to provide our sisters with a better understanding of what we real men ARE looking for love are thinking. Whenever I see a trend or hear a reoccurring theme in one area or another I want to let you know. Understanding how we men look at dating  can help you better understand our dating behaviors. I want you ladies to be well informed and have successful, happy, long term relationships and marriages. Here’s to love!                                  

To love somebody

This song was written for Otis Redding  but he died before he could record it. 
Just in case you were wondering!