 |
| No I don't have anything else to add to what you just said |
When I was a child I was somewhat shy, probably because I kept hearing “ children should be seen and not heard” from all the adults around me, my Parents, aunts and Uncles even older cousins. Needless to say it had me thinking that my voice was not my strongest attribute. So when I left home and went away to further my college education I was still in that mindset. Don’t talk too much don’t say stupid things… Guess what I’m not that shy guy anymore, some people sometimes think I am. I just don’t speak unless I have something interesting to contribute to the conversation.
I grew up around my father and my uncle who were not great talkers. My uncle was a classic grumbler he would grunt once for “yes,” and twice for “no”. My Dad was also very quiet, until he had a drink or two of alcohol, then he became a comedian, laughing and telling jokes, his jokes were not very good but he laughed half way through it which made everyone laugh even if they did get the joke. Because my mom was never scared to voice her thoughts, her opinions, her objections and everything she wanted to say came out sometimes without filters. That in a nutshell was also how my aunts did communicate. So I was never around women who did not have a strong voice, while growing up. And I find myself mainly attracted to women who can have an intelligent conversation.
After having written that intro I have to put my thoughts about how women see men these days, some men are loud and very argumentative in conversations and talking with no filters in front of an audience even to point of being bullies, most of the time they were confrontational. This has become a new normal. To the point where it is irritating. If you have a point to make, then make it and shut to HELL up. this has always been the way I thought men should behave, maybe I’m wrong, but I would rather have someone ask me for my opinion instead of giving it when they don’t want to hear it. I never want to come across as an idiots, who has diarrhea of the mouth!
 |
| Do you get what I’m trying to say here?
I often hear stories about men talking their heads off on dates as the women sit quietly nodding and “uh-hu-ing.” (Notice I didn’t say listening.) Inevitably, these two will most like never have another date…
Usually one or more of these reasons will prevent them from having another date:
1. She can’t fathom the idea of listening to Mr. Blabbermouth one more minute.
2. He shared something he shouldn’t have and she’s turned off by it.
3. He leaves feeling embarrassed and exposed, which means he will never call her again.There is one exception to this: the occasional guy who just loves hearing his own voice and loves an audience. He will call again.
What’s funny about this situation is that it’s quite the opposite of the rest of life. Overall, women talk way more than men. In fact, when men are asked what bugs them about women, most men say they talk too much. Men says that women talk in stories, but men like listening in headlines. Yes, women do have the propensity to "blab" for the sake of it. LOL, I love that about women and wouldn’t have it any other way, personally. Yet on dates it’s not uncommon for it to be the opposite, with the man chattering away, trying to impress the woman. He could be nervous or overcompensating for some form of insecurity…but there is another reason I don’t think we consider.
Here is my theory: Single men rarely get the opportunity to talk about themselves and their lives, and women femininity brings this out in them. Girly tendencies much??? Think about it: most men don’t socialize like women do. When was the last time you saw two (straight) men out having dinner or taking a walk together? Male connection generally takes place through activities. we men need some sort of goal, and being together is generally secondary to that goal.
OK guys I'll ref if you guys want to play some soccer
Then there are Women who get together for the purpose of talking, listening and sharing. The activity – if there even is one – is secondary. When they get together with a few girlfriends for dinner, women will spend two to three hours and talk the entire time. What women eat and the ambiance of the restaurant are of little importance.
When women get together, even often in a business environment, it’s about the human connection. Women love being able to talk about themselves, hear gal-pals’ stories, and support one another when needed.
Final Thought
Hence my theory: I believe that, when in the company of a lovely woman, some men simply feel like talking – especially when the women seem open to it. Men are just like women, Oooh did I really just say that? Men need human connection and to feel heard and understood. And men need to get that from the women in their lives.
Ladies, if you are out with a man who hasn’t had much female companionship, he may have a lot bottled up. He may “get drunk” from the opportunity to talk about himself to a kind, pretty woman – especially one who appears to be willing to listen.
When you find yourself with a chatty man, show him some compassion. Remember how much you love talking and consider that he might too, yet doesn’t often get the opportunity. When you present him with it, along with your beautiful smile, he might take advantage of the situation.
So instead of just writing the guy off, just because he is sharing with you, give him a break. Look for things you like about him and things you have in common. Then manage the conversation away from him; either using a subtle segue or by interrupting if necessary.
If he’s a smart and good guy, he will be thankful that you steered him away from his yammering. <smirking> And if you find things you like and decide to go out with him again, nine times out of ten he will not repeat it.
|
