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I will lift you higher!
This is the reward for the love and appreciation, you’ve given me!.
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I’ve spend quality time reading on the weekends more and more these days,
which is something. I had no time for when I was an IT consultant.
I carried a pager 24/7, a Laptop computer in my briefcase all the time,
and a company cell phone. I was a dedicated father of two sons, and a husband.
I had a home and a yard that required my attention constantly.
My Cars needed maintenance, I also helped clean the house, I cooked,
did dishes and did laundry, and ironed clothing.
These were things that I was seldom given credit for doing.
However my sons watched me do them and they are the same type of men now.
My motto has always been; “do all that you can do for yourselves,and your loved ones
and you will not suffer when your woman is mad at you.”
Things only became an issue in arguments when I neglected to do, one or two items on my,
honey--do-list. I was watching a video about being sleep deprived and how the
Industrial World was destroying our lives, we are not getting enough quality sleep,
therefore our brains are prone to suffer from dementia in our later years.
So I started reading up on it…. Thanks to Google and TED talks, I got some
info that allows me to change my habits. I used to think I failed when my marriage
resulted in a divorce. In my father’s family tree, I was the first to get a divorce.
Not a very proud moment to be the first in this area! However I was also the first,
to go to a university and get a Bachelor of Science degree.
My father was a builder, he went to bed at 8pm every night, he live to be 94 years old,
my mom was proud of the houses he built for her and me with his own two hands.
My grandfathers were all laborers, I never met my father’s parents, they died before I was born,
but since there were no Computer Systems Analyst in my grandparents days or my father’s day
for that matter, their lives were less stressful. Wearing a suit and tie was not required for them as
they got up every day and labored hard in the fields to take care of their families.
I don’t know how happy they were or how proud their wives were of them.
But I know they did what they could to survive.
My stressful career was overwhelming me. I was doing too much just to keep up,
with the Jones.
which is something. I had no time for when I was an IT consultant.
I carried a pager 24/7, a Laptop computer in my briefcase all the time,
and a company cell phone. I was a dedicated father of two sons, and a husband.
I had a home and a yard that required my attention constantly.
My Cars needed maintenance, I also helped clean the house, I cooked,
did dishes and did laundry, and ironed clothing.
These were things that I was seldom given credit for doing.
However my sons watched me do them and they are the same type of men now.
My motto has always been; “do all that you can do for yourselves,and your loved ones
and you will not suffer when your woman is mad at you.”
Things only became an issue in arguments when I neglected to do, one or two items on my,
honey--do-list. I was watching a video about being sleep deprived and how the
Industrial World was destroying our lives, we are not getting enough quality sleep,
therefore our brains are prone to suffer from dementia in our later years.
So I started reading up on it…. Thanks to Google and TED talks, I got some
info that allows me to change my habits. I used to think I failed when my marriage
resulted in a divorce. In my father’s family tree, I was the first to get a divorce.
Not a very proud moment to be the first in this area! However I was also the first,
to go to a university and get a Bachelor of Science degree.
my mom was proud of the houses he built for her and me with his own two hands.
My grandfathers were all laborers, I never met my father’s parents, they died before I was born,
but since there were no Computer Systems Analyst in my grandparents days or my father’s day
for that matter, their lives were less stressful. Wearing a suit and tie was not required for them as
they got up every day and labored hard in the fields to take care of their families.
I don’t know how happy they were or how proud their wives were of them.
But I know they did what they could to survive.
with the Jones.
This was way too much stress, I was a success but felt like a failure often too tired,
to enjoy the fruits of my hard work .
The now ex-wife liked the suits and tie man she married, that was who I was when she met me.
The smooth Dude, in a suit, that moved from N.Y. to Northbrook Ill.
But when I took a break and wanted to decompress from a 24/7 of being "on call" career I had,
she hated my choices. I only knew how to do carpentry (which was what my dad taught me)
beside my career as an IT professional, so living in a gated community where many homeowners
bought new homes that lacked all of the beautiful trimmings and options people saw in the models,
but they did no get those option when their homes were completed.
I saw an opportunity to decompress, so I decided to help many of them out with my skilled carpentry
abilities. That did not go over well, with her. I was not making as much money with my hands,
and power tools, as I was with by fingertips on a keyboard of a computer keyboard and my brain power.
But I was not stressing myself out about deadlines and system errors, and that kind of mess,
during that period. I have to confess one thing while I’m writing this post,
I thought about the displeasure I caused my dad who never understood why I went to a University for ,
to graduated and became a typist. He wanted me to become an Architect.
He just did not understand that I did become a systems architect, I just did not design houses,
and office buildings, I designed computer applications systems. If I had followed my dad’s
dream for me, maybe my marriage would have been “until death do us part” like my parents marriage,
and my grandparents marriages and my great grandparents and great- great grandparents were.
My only good feeling about my split from my marriage is that my divorce happened after my parents
were both dead, so my failure in that area was not something that they witnessed.
When men don’t feel appreciated by their counterparts at some juncture in their lives
we lose the desire to please those who do not appreciate all that we , had done and are doing.
Most Men need to feel appreciated and when we feel like we are not being appreciated then
we shutdown, and we resent our counterpart, for their critical attitudes.
No man who works hard to take care of his family should feel added pressures
to do more than he can do. Stress is a killer. Lack of appreciating will kill relationships, even faster.
to enjoy the fruits of my hard work .
The now ex-wife liked the suits and tie man she married, that was who I was when she met me.
The smooth Dude, in a suit, that moved from N.Y. to Northbrook Ill.
But when I took a break and wanted to decompress from a 24/7 of being "on call" career I had,
she hated my choices. I only knew how to do carpentry (which was what my dad taught me)
beside my career as an IT professional, so living in a gated community where many homeowners
bought new homes that lacked all of the beautiful trimmings and options people saw in the models,
but they did no get those option when their homes were completed.
I saw an opportunity to decompress, so I decided to help many of them out with my skilled carpentry
abilities. That did not go over well, with her. I was not making as much money with my hands,
and power tools, as I was with by fingertips on a keyboard of a computer keyboard and my brain power.
But I was not stressing myself out about deadlines and system errors, and that kind of mess,
during that period. I have to confess one thing while I’m writing this post,
I thought about the displeasure I caused my dad who never understood why I went to a University for ,
to graduated and became a typist. He wanted me to become an Architect.
He just did not understand that I did become a systems architect, I just did not design houses,
and office buildings, I designed computer applications systems. If I had followed my dad’s
dream for me, maybe my marriage would have been “until death do us part” like my parents marriage,
and my grandparents marriages and my great grandparents and great- great grandparents were.
My only good feeling about my split from my marriage is that my divorce happened after my parents
were both dead, so my failure in that area was not something that they witnessed.
When men don’t feel appreciated by their counterparts at some juncture in their lives
we lose the desire to please those who do not appreciate all that we , had done and are doing.
Most Men need to feel appreciated and when we feel like we are not being appreciated then
we shutdown, and we resent our counterpart, for their critical attitudes.
No man who works hard to take care of his family should feel added pressures
to do more than he can do. Stress is a killer. Lack of appreciating will kill relationships, even faster.
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| This in my view is what her real Love and appreciation looks like. |
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