She doesn’t need you for what you think she needs you for these days!

 

THE BIOLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTORS THAT AFFECT A WOMAN'S LIBIDO AS SHE GETS OLDER.

While it is true that women can and do enjoy full sex lives at every age, their physical response to lovemaking and requirements for pleasure evolve. “Black women’s bodies and libidos change as they age due to a variety of biological, psychological and social factors that come into play in their lives,” 

Here’s what she wants you to know about how sex changes as women age.

In her 20s

Her body’s natural drive to procreate heightens her libido, but not every twenty-something is a volcano of sexual energy. “Women in their twenties can experience low sex drives. When they do, it is often due to hormonal birth control, which can lower the libido and cause moodiness and vaginal dryness. These women should speak with a health care provider to rule out any other possible causes.

I have to do it all by myself

In her 30s

By the time they reach their thirties, most women have hit their sexual strides. They know what gets them going, and they’ve become more vocal about asking for it. However, this period of increased confidence also coincides with increased responsibilities. At this point, women’s lives often become more complicated as careers, husbands/long-term partners and kids come into play. Sex may not be as frequent as it was in your twenties. Also testosterone begins to naturally dip during this period, which can have an impact on sexual desire. Communication with your partner becomes crucial. Being forthcoming about your needs and feelings can increase support and intimacy between you. And taking time to connect with yourself and show yourself a little grace can help boost your sexual self-esteem.

In her 40s, 50s AND BEYOND

The forties and fifties bring a set of hormonal changes as women enter perimenopause and menopause. “During this time the ovaries gradually stop producing estrogen, which impacts libido, mood and the vagina itself. Women may find that they are not as easily aroused, are less sensitive to touch and may not be as lubricated, which can make sex uncomfortable or painful. But just because the motor may need a bit more priming doesn’t mean it’s time to put it in cold storage. The more sex you have during this period, either partnered or solo, the less likely you are to experience the sexual challenges and vaginal changes that occur during menopause. Which is a good thing. Women in this chapter of their lives [and later] still have fulfilling sex lives. In fact, the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project found that about 85 percent of women age 57 to 64 were in some type of romantic relationship and almost all involved some type of sexual activity.

Holly mother of Jesus, 

why didn’t someone teach me about this stuff earlier! 

So why am I going in deep on this topic. It came from my doing some research as a result of a discussion I had with some male buddies, who have zero clues as to what women are dealing with biologically, and they tend to think women will always be the same, same, same. The old saying ”men marry women hoping they will never change, women marry men hoping that he will change.” comes to mind. As a result both genders are disappointed in the end.

 We are often stuck with our beliefs and seem to not try to understand what is really happening. 

While I was in early 20s -30s I was fortunate to have a good education, a Bachelor's degree in Science  which always made me question what was happening when things started changing. I started off thinking and analysing why things suddenly wasn’t  the way as they were earlier. I was often wrong in my thinking because of misinformation, passed down from generation to generation. Men often thought women were attracted to them because of their ability to provide these women with the resources women need to survive. I was one of the fortunate ones who could facilitate a dream or two. So I used it to my advantage to pick and choose. But as I grew up mentally I started  realizing that my beliefs were…. dead wrong. You see as I was often coming in contact with women who were very educated. These types of women were who I was often most attracted to… I would realize that they didn’t need me to facilitate their dreams, they were career women who had their own resources. They may or may not have been attracted to me for other reasons, depending on where they were in their lives. The above research educated me as to what the situation sometimes is. She doesn't need you for what you think she needs you for these days!