Being someones Second choice is never going to make you feel comfortable

 When you are a second choice in a relationship, you aren’t the person they calls all the time. They may have other mates that they hang out with and might be keeping you on the line for when their first option is busy. Moreover, if you are a second choice, you are being treated as an option.

A Synonyms for second choice include second best, inferior, minor,
second class, second-rate, mediocre, substandard, middling, indifferent and poor. 

You Don’t want to be someone’s second choice because you won’t be able to forget your place in line. Even when you try to. Even when you do such a good job of convincing yourself everything is fine. Because everything isn’t fine. You were a second choice, and part of you will just continue burning when you think about who came first.

You just can’t. At the end of the day, you blame yourself instead because you don’t seem to be enough for them no matter how much you try. You are always available and you think they prefer to be with someone else.

How do you keep from being the second choice?

How does one keep from being the second choice though? By not holding back (i.e. by being confident) and by not being afraid to be  vulnerable. 2 years before I met my wife, I asked another woman to marry me, in N.Y.. She declined. My  now ex-wife once made the comment that she felt like she was my second choice. well to honest she was and I was still hedging my bet that the N.Y option was still possible if I returned to N.Y from Chicago. I never went back to N.Y.  to live so I did not see the first option again.

YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE YOU’RE NOT ENOUGH.

Imagine you are a dish on the menu of a restaurant that someone you love is about to dine in. she/He likes to order a beef stake because that is her/his favorite food of all time, but since it is out of stock, the only option he/she can order is a fish fillet. No matter how much she/he likes to eat steak because it is not available as of the moment, so she/he will settle for the fish fillet. Yes, you are thinking the right thing. You as her/his second option, you will always be the fish fillet. You will never be her/his first choice.

Maybe you think that she/he loves you too and you might probably be right. However, whatever feelings she/he may have for you, it will never be as intense as to how she/he is feeling the love with the other person. Because of this, you will always feel like something is missing in you that only that other girls/dudes can fulfill. It will be a terrible feeling for you to commit yourself to someone who is not even sure about you. Everything you feel will not be as complete as her/his favorite person.

2. INSECURITIES WILL BUILD UP IN YOUR HEART.

Knowing you are a second option, you know for sure that she/he can’t be entirely in love with you. This will lead to a lot of insecurities about your body and all your ways. Whether you know who they are into, you can’t help yourself thinking how perfect she was for him. You are always going to look at yourself in the mirror, trying to improve your flaws.

Final thought

Being someone’s second choice is never a good feeling. You may feel happy for a short period of time, but it will never be enough to complete the whole inside you. Whatever situation you might be at for  the moment, whether you are someone’s second option while they are dating or committed to someone else, it will not do you any good to become her/his second choice.

Maybe you are already in love with this person and can’t do anything to help yourself just walk away from the situation, or perhaps you still think he/she can get away from their relationship and choose you instead in the future. Well, you should never settle for less. Love is like a competition where everyone is aiming for the first place. If you know for yourself that your place is next to first, then maybe you can do better next time. You should not settle for anything that makes you a second choice. No one will ever remember a second prize, and that is you. There will never be a perfect, but you can always worth it to someone meant for you. If you still don’t have many reasons to walk away from being someone’s second choice!

Just to clear I have never felt like I was someone's second choice. If I was I never knew about it.