What does entanglement mean in a relationship?

 An entanglement is a complicated or difficult relationship or situation. the term entanglement has no real difference from the term affair. In my mind, an 'entanglement' is the same as an affair as it takes one partner away from the other emotionally, 

let us have a zoom discussion about my entanglement.

If you realize that you are in an entanglement, you may decide that it is time to move on or take a “time out” to evolve yourself. I will say that it is possible to stay connected with someone and transform an entanglement into a healthy relationship - with some dedication.

How to Know If You Are in An Entanglement - and Not A Relationship!

I often get asked about how one can know if a romantic relationship has the makings of one that will blossom and last over the long haul.

There are definite signs of a healthy solid primary relationship, as well as signs of an unhealthy entanglement. I will briefly outline these signs below - but also encourage you to check out more that is out there on this topic.

One resource I would like to credit for helping me to grasp the differences better is the work of Dr. Margaret Paul. And, she offers powerful guidance to individuals on how to become whole enough to be able to have a healthy relationship. (I highly recommend her book, "Do I Have to Give Up Me to be Loved By You?"

Just a note: the signs of entanglement are many and varied, so the list for its characteristics below is not to be taken as complete. However, if one or more of these factors listed are present, it is time to take re-evaluate this romance!

So here are some definite markers of an entanglement and a healthy relationship:

1) One or both individuals are emotionally immature. This often is accompanied by some destructive behaviors in one’s individual life.

2) The romance repeats dysfunctional patterns such as:

(a) communication breakdowns

(b) over-emphasis on sex (over time)

(c) angry outbursts followed by distancing

(d) emotionally shutting down

(e) one or both tend to feel victimized by the other

(f) withholding the truth

(g) an obsessive need to stay connected motivated by a fear of abandonment

(h) one of both are not able to set boundaries

3) Withholding parts of you for fear of driving the other person away

4) Predominant sense of unsafety

5) A lot of conflict and power struggles

6) Feeling not seen or understood a lot7) More negative feelings than positive about the relationship

an entanglement with a younger man
brings out all of my insecurities

A relationship with an older woman can be so draining

A HEALTHY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPIf you realize that you are in an entanglement, you may decide that it is time to move on or take a “time out” to evolve yourself. I will say that it is possible to stay connected with someone and transform an entanglement into a healthy relationship - with some dedication. I know this, because I did this in my long-term relationship with my late spouse years ago. We needed to develop our own selves more as well as the relationship - and eventually, the entanglement turned into a thriving loving partnership with two whole thriving adults! But it was short lived, and ended in a divorce!

1) Both are emotionally healthy - and lead emotionally stable lives

2) Each are free to be themselves

3) Both feel safe and relaxed around each other

4) The relationship has:

(a) a predominance of love and affection

(b) humor and ability to have fun together

(c) mutual desire to be together motivated by adoration and respect (and not for someone to “complete” us)

(d) healthy sexual expression based upon love

(e) mutual comfort with space apart

(f) good communication - and a sense of freedom to share what is on either’s mind or heart

(g) honesty and openness

(h) a predominance of understanding one another

5) Both live from a place of radical self responsibility

6) Each is able to set boundaries in a way that deepens the connection

7) Differences or conflict are handled in a way that respects each other fully

8) More positive feelings than negative about the relationship

final thoughts

The reason that fish can't get out of the trap is because fish can't swim backwards. They can drift backwards with the current or they can turn away and go the other way but the way their fins are structured they are not designed to swim backwards. I'm just thinking like a true Pisces 
the fish sign.

We keep it real and therefore stay together